by P. Jameson
Calling her name one more time, I was only answered by the echo of my own voice against the thick walls. Just that little bit of effort zapped my energy, and I wasn’t sure what was going on in my stomach.
Not good. Not good at all.
“Cassian?” No, he wouldn’t be here. I remembered him being shot. More by the horrible sound of it than the vision. But then I remembered him on a stretcher, and his blood staining the ground below him. So much blood.
Did they shoot me too?
My friends could be dead, and I could be a prisoner.
I closed my eyes for a long blink, but I refused to surrender to unconsciousness. I had to get back to Luxoria. We’d left a military vehicle on the edge of the Keep. If Charolet had figured out how to drive it, I could too.
Then I remembered the refugee omegas that were crossing the desert on foot and wondered if there was even a Badlands to return to.
The door creaked open and I froze. There was nowhere I could go, tied to the bed in this strange room. For a moment, I wondered if I would be better off playing dead.
No. That was what everyone wanted from the omegas for too long. I couldn’t give them what they wanted.
A huge man walked in, his shadow darkening the room. I blinked, trying to place him. He was familiar to me.
Alpha.
Not necessarily a good sign.
“Good to see you awake, Rielle.” In true alpha fashion, he didn’t look at me. He was more concerned with the readings on the machines than the omega that was producing that data.
“How long was I asleep?” Asleep sounded much less scary than the alternatives, like unconscious or comatose.
“Almost a month,” the alpha said. “We put you into a medically induced coma so we could monitor the effects of the serum on your body. There were risks involved, but you woke up when we expected you to. Your preliminary levels look good so far, but you’ll need a more thorough examination to see if there are lasting effects from your ordeal.”
“Could you repeat that, but in English this time?” I couldn’t let him know how scared I was. Everything after the word coma was a blur. “And maybe tell me who you are?”
He looked at me for the first time and frowned. He was one of the king’s generals. I remembered him now, but his name still escaped me. He had dark, wavy hair and a closely clipped beard. Wide shoulders. And I had a feeling he was the one who smelled good. I’d been lying in this bed for a week, so it certainly wasn’t me. That spicy scent hadn’t been there before he walked in.
Our gazes locked, and my heart stuttered so hard in my chest one of the machines protested.
“I’m Evander. General Evander. Right hand to King Adalai. This is a medical observation center in the northern territory. I’m trained as a medic and mostly tend to the soldiers when not doing weapons research. However, your injuries are war casualties, so I’ve taken charge of your care.”
“Are we at war with the humans?” There was always tension, but leave it to Charolet and me to start a full blown war.
He hesitated. “The answer to that is complicated.”
That was ominous. “What about Charolet?”
“She asked about you first too.” That got a grin out of him. “She’s doing well. Feisty as ever.”
“Cassian?”
“He fully recovered from his injuries.”
“But I didn’t.” I certainly didn’t feel like myself.
“Not fully. Not yet.” Evander sighed. “I’m pleased with your progress so far.”
He talked about me like I was an experiment. Not a shifter, and definitely not like him. But I was still tied to this bed and he was the only person who’d answered my cries. Over the years, I’d become an expert at swallowing my frustration, which was usually followed by a chaser of disappointment.
Another tug on the restraints. This time, I dislodged one of the wires attached to me. I cried out from the sting, mad at myself for showing weakness.
Evander flipped the sheet away from my body, frowning as he fastened the contraption into my skin with a quick pinch. It didn’t hurt as much when he did it. Pulling away, he stared at the bed, his mouth agape.
I frowned as his hand darted forward and slowly lifted to dangle my prized possession in front of me. A necklace made from a long leather string. The medallion at the end was worthless to anyone except me. It was just an old button, but it had come from an alpha’s military uniform.
My heart slammed against my chest. I shouldn’t have it, and he knew it as much as I did.
“Where did you get this?” he asked, his voice a low growl.
I’d had it since I was a little girl, when I made friends with an alpha boy who trained close to the wall that separated Luxoria and the Badlands. There was a crack in the wall, just big enough that I could spy on him with one eye. He caught me watching him, and I thought I would be in so much trouble. That he’d make me go away. But instead, he told me funny jokes, and brought me food because I’d told him I was hungry. I thought he was a prince, and prayed he’d save me from all the horrible changes that were happening in my homeland every day. That someday, I’d live in the big castle that loomed over the Badlands as his princess.
But instead, I found the hole in the wall patched one day, and the only proof that it wasn’t all a figment of my imagination was a button. The same one that had fallen from my neck to the bed, and now hung in the alpha’s grip.
I never saw my prince again, but I never let go of my dream. When Zelene married King Adalai, I’d moved with her and lived in the castle. But I was no one’s princess.
“A friend gave it to me.”
“A friend,” he scoffed. Alphas and omegas were many things but they were never friends.
“Am I being held prisoner?” I asked. The old button couldn’t possibly be angering him this much. But if it was, and he’d known about it before now, it could be the reason for all the restraints.
“We restrained you for your own safety.” He muttered, as if it was obvious. But mostly, he scowled at my necklace, like I’d taken the button from him personally.
“Untie me.”
“Not until I know you’re not a danger to yourself,” he grumbled and then stalked out of my room. With my necklace.
Chapter Three
Evander
“You don’t have to be afraid. I’ll always be waiting for you. Here, in the gap.”
I stared at the thin leather cord clenched in my fist as memories ricocheted in my skull. I couldn’t loosen my grip no matter how hard I tried. As though it might disappear if I did. I blinked, letting my gaze fall to the pendant that hung from the cord. It wasn’t an actual pendant, but rather a large metal button with the king’s insignia imprinted on the surface. The king before the one I served now. Adalai’s father, the creator of The Division that so brutally separated our people many years ago.
But none of that was what had my fingers locked around the cord. It was the memories this button brought back… and the fact that it had been worn around the neck of the female I’d been trying to ignore for months.
Rielle.
The dark haired beauty was an omega who used to work in the castle kitchens, and although the king and other alpha generals had mated omegas, I had done much to distance myself from that faction of the pack. To put a barrier larger than any wall between myself and them. Something that couldn’t be easily breached.
This fucking button was why.
I stood just outside the door to Rielle’s room, trying to catch my breath. I’d lost control in there, and I never lost control. Over the years, I had perfected the discipline taught to me as a wolfling. I was cool and calculated. I said the right things and kept an emotional distance from anything and everything that rivaled none other. It was how I became King Adalai’s second in command. When I killed, I did it methodically. When I fought, it was with precision. When I rutted, it was out of necessity to calm my inner beast.
But I never, never lost control. Never le
t myself feel too much.
I pushed off from the wall. I needed a drink.
The facility was empty tonight, and had been mostly so ever since I brought Rielle here from the Human Keep. The only people allowed inside were betas who knew more than I did about medicine. Doctors, not unlike my father, except they didn’t work for the castle. They worked for me.
My hand shook as I found a bottle of strong brew from the cabinet in the small sterile kitchen. There was a backup bottle in my quarters, but this one was closer. I put the rim straight to my lips, my eyes never leaving the cord that was clenched in my fist as I swigged.
Little Omega.
I’d never forgotten her. My first real friend… and my last. Many times over the years, I’d wondered what became of her, knew it was possible she was nearby, even within the castle. I’d even let myself believe that her life was as hard as it was always destined to be. Or worse, that she hadn’t survived it at all.
Yeah, I let myself think that a lot. Because it hurt. And I deserved to hurt for what I’d done so long ago.
“You don’t have to be afraid. I will always be waiting for you. Here, in the gap.”
I made that promise to her when I was too young to keep it.
Standing there, in the kitchen, memories of the past assaulted me…
I paced near the wall, practicing my dagger work while I waited for Little Omega to show. She was usually waiting for me when I finished with studies, but tonight, she was late. Years had passed since our first encounter at the gap. How we’d never been caught was a mystery to me. I guess the small yard behind the castle physician’s quarters wasn’t under much suspicion.
I glanced at the hole in the wall again. Still no eyeball, and the sky was turning pink with the sunset. Twisting, I jabbed the air with my dagger, practicing the new move that was meant to be deadly to my opponent. According to my trainer, if performed correctly, it would slice cleanly through the carotid before they could move to defend themselves. I repeated the move twice, grunting with effort as I drove the knife home in my imaginary foe.
A soft sniffle pulled my attention to the gap. There she was. Finally.
I moved closer, glancing over my shoulder to make sure nobody watched. “You’re late,” I said, sitting on the ground perpendicular to her so it didn’t appear that I was talking to the wall. Any onlooker would assume I was muttering to myself.
“I almost didn’t come at all.” Her voice was quiet but her words struck irrational fear in me and I jerked my gaze to hers.
“Why not?”
She didn’t answer, but I knew something was wrong by the way her eyelid was rimmed in deep red. Over these few years, her eyelashes had grown longer. Darker. The deep green of her iris was normally streaked with lighter brown, but now it was framed in pink. She’d been crying, and it wasn’t something she did often these days.
“What’s happened?”
She blinked, keeping her eyes closed for several breaths before she croaked, “My guardian is dead.”
“Dead?” The word caught in my throat and my stomach tumbled. I knew people died in the war, had been told to prepare for it. But the concept wasn’t something I could understand. In the castle, I’d never seen a dead person. Only sick ones, and only occasionally.
“She’s gone,” Little Omega whispered. “We’re all alone now.”
Four females, the oldest just sixteen. Five years older than me. Who would take care of Little Omega?
A protective instinct rose in my chest, and at the same time, the acrid feeling of defeat. Because how could I fix any of this for her?
I couldn’t.
“How?” My voice was nothing more than a rasp.
“In battle.”
“With the humans?” I asked, hopeful.
There was a long hesitation before she shook her head and my heart sank all the way to my boots. Alpha soldiers had done this. I couldn’t breathe.
I knew King Gregor had reason not to trust the omegas. I knew all the things we were taught about them being traitors. I even understood the need for separation, although I hated it. But my omega—my friend—had done nothing wrong. She wasn’t a traitor. She was simply born to the wrong class of shifters. Why did she have to suffer?
I hated this feeling inside my chest. It burned. As if I wasn’t breathing oxygen anymore but flames instead. I hated it so much, that for the first time, I actually wished she hadn’t come. I wished I didn’t know of her guardian’s death.
I stood and paced the lawn, trying to wrangle the feelings I couldn’t escape. Disgust, fear. And anger. So much anger. At the kingdom that separated us. At my future. Even at Little Omega for sharing her bad news.
I was angry at the world with no way to take my revenge on it.
“What will happen to you now?” I asked without looking her way.
“The others say we will make it. The oldest will start work in the castle tomorrow. And soon, the others can too. I’m still too young, but I can help keep our home tidy until it’s my time.”
Her time. Even that twisted my stomach.
A growl rolled up my throat. Was there nothing I could do? Perhaps I could speak to my father… and ask him what? Tell him what? An omega died in the wars and the children in her care are all alone, without anyone to care for them. An omega, he’d scoff. Serves them right.
The weight of the dagger in my hand felt heavy with dread. I stared down at it, realizing for the first time exactly what it meant.
I was to become an alpha soldier.
I was to fight in the wars.
I was to kill unruly omegas and enemy humans.
Dropping the dagger, it clattered to the ground and I shook my hand as if I could get the poison of my future off of it. I looked at the gap where Little Omega stared back at me, eye wide.
Slowly, I walked back to her, kneeling by the wall. “I hate them for this.”
“You can’t,” she argued.
“I do.”
“You’ll be one of them someday. Soon, even.” Fresh tears watered in her eye as her gaze fell to my dagger. She knew the same truth I did. Being younger didn’t shield her from it.
“Are you afraid?” I wanted so badly to reach through the gap and touch her face. Maybe the connection would soothe the ache in me as much as it would comfort her.
She nodded, and I had the feeling she didn’t admit it to anyone else. For the others, she put on a brave face, but for me… the wall protected her. She didn’t need a brave face.
“You don’t have to be afraid. I won’t ever hurt you.”
“One day you might. One day, I will come here and you’ll be gone to where all the soldiers go.”
I shook my head. I wouldn’t. Somehow, I would find a way to avoid the fighting.
“This is our space, omega. I will always be here, waiting for you. In the gap.”
“You promise?” Her eye lit with so much hope, and I felt it too, deep in my chest putting out the fire that lived there only moments ago. If we could be friends, here, now… then someday, our people could make amends and we wouldn’t have to hide anymore. Hurt anymore.
“Yes.”
“Always friends,” she whispered.
“Always.”
I slammed the liquor bottle on the counter and pushed it away. My fingers ached with how hard they held onto the corded button. The burning in my chest was back, just like that day so long ago. Along with the anger.
One week after my omega’s guardian was killed, my father informed me the king was sending me to the outposts to begin prepping for my term in the army. I had begged for more time, pleaded with my father for more medical classes. Wasn’t it important that I could serve the army with scientific expertise? But there was no getting around the king’s orders.
I cried in the showers that night. Cried for what I was losing, my only friend. Cried for what I would become, her enemy. Cried for what I would do. Serve my kingdom.
Later, after everyone had gone to bed, I dug into my b
ottom dresser drawer and retrieved the small metal object that I’d been saving to give Little Omega on her birthday. With my sleeve, I’d polished it to a shine and sat next to the hole in the wall, imagining how her eyes would light up when she found it… but only for a moment before…
I remembered gathering the rest of the supplies I needed. Water, cement, a small rock to plug the hole. All while willing myself to be brave. Then I’d pushed the silver button through the crack in the wall, hoping that one day, she would understand my final gift to her.
With the cement and tools from the garden shack, I did the only fair thing to do. It was the only way to not hurt her more. To not prolong a friendship that could never survive what our world would put it through.
I closed the gap, sealing her out of my life forever.
Or so I thought.
Chapter Four
Rielle
Evander didn’t come back after he took my necklace. Instead, he sent nurses and technicians to deal with me.
I hadn’t felt so omega since the day I’d found the button. It had been dropped through a hole in the wall that separated the Badlands from Luxoria. I was just a little girl then, and I didn’t understand what was actually on the other side. I thought I’d found a secret, magical land. An oasis where things were fair and there was a way out of the hell of my daily life.
And the prince who would make the fighting stop. Someday he’d break the wall down, and invite me into his home. I imagined it was full of food and soft things. Once I was there, I’d never be afraid again.
The same day the button appeared, the hole was gone. Someone had patched it up. I never saw my prince again.
That's what I got for dreaming.
There was a knock on the door, and a nurse came in. Like with my prince, I stopped expecting Evander to be on the other side.
I didn’t even know why I cared.
The nurse who came to tend to me was beta. She had a sparkle in her eye and a glow to her skin. Hope. Her name was Kathryn, and I liked her, because she answered all my questions and she didn’t treat me like an omega. Eventually, she’d decided that I was no longer a danger to myself and untied me from the bed. But I had no idea how long it had been since I woke from my coma. It felt like days, but none of the other omegas had come to see me. If I was really in the northern territory like Evander said, why hadn’t they come to visit.
