by Jenny Kane
‘After John tricked Thea into going to the pub. Shaun wanted to know why I hadn’t gone inside the manor with you to help check John wasn’t hiding there. He was quite angry.’ Sam paused. ‘I had to explain why I wouldn’t – couldn’t – go inside to keep her safe.’
Not wanting to stop Sam now he’d started to explain, Tina remained quiet. She squeezed his palm tighter, warmed by his confession that he worried about her, just as Shaun worried about Thea.
‘He’d more or less guessed anyway. Not the reason, but the background to the reason.’
‘That you were in the services, you mean?’
Sam blinked in confirmation, but said no more, his mind busy trying to convince him that the kitchen ceiling was not about to fall onto his head.
‘Is that how you knew to open the door of the mill with a knife?’
‘A knife and brute force.’ Sam scrubbed a hand over his face as he nodded. ‘Not part of my official training, but a technique I picked up from an obliging local when we needed to get into a locked room somewhere far away from here.’
‘I wish you’d told me.’ She closed her eyes against the sting in her eyes. She felt as if they’d have grit and dust in them forever. ‘Can you tell me?’
Sam sighed. ‘I don’t tell people. I don’t tell myself.’
Tina moved her hand from his palm to his thigh and left it there. ‘Claustrophobia?’
‘Sort of.’ Sam became very still, and Tina sensed he was working very hard to stay with her and not run outside.
‘And despite that, you ran into a burning building and helped save Thea and me.’
‘Anyone would have.’
‘No, they wouldn’t. Most would let their demons win.’ Tina rested her head on his shoulder. ‘I will listen whenever you like. When you’re ready to tell me.’
Not wanting to move away from Tina, Sam ran a dirty yellow pigtail across his palm. ‘I like you rather a lot.’
Tina burst out laughing. Tired, shaken and emotionally drained, suddenly she knew she was in danger of slipping into hysteria.
‘That funny huh?’
She shook her head. ‘Ironic, but not funny.’ An image of Leon drifted into her head as she looked at Sam. Her laughter stilled as she kissed him on the lips. ‘I was so sure I knew what I wanted, but I didn’t have a clue. Thea kept saying I was wrong, but I wouldn’t listen. I was so sure.’
Sam’s reply was barely audible. ‘I still may not be what you want when you’ve heard all I have to tell.’
‘Or I might want you even more.’ A waft of smoky sweat hit her nostrils as she moved her hand. ‘And how you can be interested in me when I stink like a derailed barbeque, I don’t know!’
Sam smiled. ‘I’d run you a bath but…’ He looked longingly at the door. ‘I’m afraid my bravery is beginning to desert me. I have to go outside.’
As he stood, Tina saw how controlled his breathing had become. She laid a finger on his lips. ‘When you’re ready, you can run me as many baths as you like. They could be fun.’
Sam’s face flushed with something that told Tina exactly how fun they would be. ‘If that isn’t an incentive to sort myself out then I don’t know what is.’
Her limbs still wobbly, Tina accompanied Sam to the back door. ‘Why don’t you go back to your tent? I’ll have a bath, borrow some of Thea’s clothes and then drive home.’
‘No way.’ Sam was firm. ‘You aren’t driving tonight. Either you stay in the manor, or you come to my tent. But you are not getting behind the wheel of a car after all you’ve been through.’
‘Absolutely right, young man!’ Mabel strode into the kitchen; her face was a picture of determination and her lips were pursed. ‘Tina, you’re filthy and it’s vital you relax those muscles. You’ve had a dreadful shock. I’ll run you and Thea a bath each.’
Sam and Tina struggled not to look at each other in horror as Tina said, ‘You’re very kind, Mabel, but Thea’s already in the bath and I can manage. Honestly.’
‘Not a bit of it. I’ll go and draw one while you get that drink down you.’ Mabel gestured approvingly to the warm honey water Sam had made. ‘I expect Shaun could do with a bath as well, and you can go with Bert, Sam. He’s waiting for you in the car outside. Off you go.’
‘Excuse me?’
Mabel lowered her tone. ‘I’m sorry, I was being bossy again.’ She gave a rueful smile. ‘Bert always says I’m worse when I’m worried, and I’ve been so worried about you all and—’
Tina put out a comforting hand. ‘You’re amazing, Mabel, and I’d love you to run me a bath. Shaun and Thea have baths on the go upstairs anyway, but I’m sure you’d prefer a shower, Sam?’
‘Well…’
Mabel clapped her hands as if her plan was all falling into place nicely. ‘That’s what Bert said. Reckon he’s got the measure of you as an outdoor type, has my Bert. We’ve got one of those big walk-in wet room things. Horribly modern, but sensible at our age. You can even open the door onto the outside world if it helps.’ Mabel paused, hoping Sam would understand what she was saying. ‘Off you go. Sooner you’re gone, the sooner you can get back here. It’s a beautiful night. We’ll have supper under the stars. Yes?’
Tina looked at Sam. Bert had guessed far more than she had.
‘You’re a very kind woman, Mabel.’ Sam pulled his ponytail from where he’d stuffed it down the back of his jumper. ‘May I ask, before I take you up on your clear-sighted offer, which armed service was Bert in during the war?’
Mabel puffed with pride. ‘He was never allowed to say and I never pressed him.’
Tina watched as something unspoken passed between her companions. She’d never wanted to hug Mabel before. ‘Mrs Hastings, you are wonderful.’
Mabel patted her hair unnecessarily. ‘While you’re soaking I’ll get this warmed up.’ Then, like a magician producing a rabbit from a hat, she pulled a giant lasagne from a shopping trolley she’d left by the door. ‘Everyone needs to eat after a shock.’
‘But Mabel…’ Tina put a hand out to the old lady. ‘We couldn’t possibly ask you to—’
‘Please.’ Mabel suddenly looked shaken. ‘I need to help.’
Tina gave her another brief hug and waved goodbye to Sam, running upstairs to shout a warning through the door of whichever bathroom Thea and Shaun happened to be sharing that Mabel was on her way.
*
‘Are you alright with cars, young man, or would you prefer to walk? The cottage is only ten minutes away.’
Bert spoke easily, as if Sam’s issue with confined spaces was the most natural thing in the world.
‘It’s just buildings.’
‘Houses specifically?’
‘Yes.’ Sam’s heart was racing fast in relief at escaping from the kitchen.
‘Tina will be very proud of you for what you just did.’ Bert slid the car into gear and drove them towards Upwich.
‘She should be proud of Shaun too. Anyone who’d been passing would have tried to get them out.’
‘I wasn’t referring to the fire. You went inside with her. That’s a big deal.’
‘How did you know?’
Bert concentrated on taking the blind corner out of the driveway before saying, ‘Why do you think I have a walk-in wet room that has a door to the garden built into it?’
Sam regarded the pensioner with increasing respect. ‘I’m so sorry, Bert.’
‘As am I. And yet here I am, with a crazy but incredible woman, a nice home, a lot of friends and a life that, eventually, began to feel worthwhile again. Mabel did that. She showed me life was worthwhile.’
‘Tina.’ Sam spoke the name wistfully as he watched the village pass by outside the car window.
‘Be honest with her – as far as the Official Secrets Act will let you – and then let it go.’
‘How?’
‘By doing good things. Helping people.’
‘Atonement.’
‘Maybe, but while remembering you did nothing wrong.
’
‘How do you know I didn’t do anything wrong?’
‘I know.’ Bert pulled the car onto his drive. ‘Is that why you have a ponytail? Something the forces wouldn’t allow you to have. A small personal rebellion perhaps?’
‘Yes.’ Sam gave a rueful smile. ‘Although, as I’m always tucking it out of sight so it doesn’t get in my way, it’s a fairly hollow victory. It can get as itchy as hell trapped between my shirt and my back to tell you the truth.’
Bert grunted a chuckle. ‘Forwards is the way to look, young man. Always forwards. And right now,’ Bert waved a key in Sam’s direction, ‘Forwards for you is around the back to the blue door. It’ll take you straight into the wet room. Mabel has laid out a towel. The big grey one is yours.’
‘Bert – I…’
‘When my mother was alive, God rest her, she’d say “If there’s nothing to say, say nothing.” Wise woman, my mum.’
*
Shaun took the black bag full of Thea’s smoke-ruined clothes and threw it out of the back door. It landed next to the one Tina had already deposited there.
‘You okay, Tina?’
‘All the better for having the smell of Mabel’s cooking in my nostrils rather than smouldering fleece. Where’s Thea?’
‘Putting on every jumper she owns.’ Shaun lowered his voice so as not to offend a happily bustling Mabel. ‘She’s still really cold despite the bath. Shock I suppose. I’m not sure she should go outside.’
‘Thea’s always cold. Her circulation is a law unto itself. I don’t mind telling Mabel we can’t eat outside if you’re worried.’
‘I think we should go outside though, because of Sam. He saved you both.’
‘You both saved us.’
‘I followed his lead. I was busy scrambling around for something to help open the door while he actually got on with opening it.’
Turning so she was facing away from Mabel on the other side of the kitchen, Tina muttered, ‘Sam told me about the forces.’ Tina hugged her arms around herself. ‘But no more than that.’
‘He will when he’s ready.’ Shaun opened the nearest cupboard and pulled out six plates and pointed to the cutlery drawer. ‘Can you grab some knives and forks?’
Bert’s head popped around the door, waving to everyone in the kitchen, before addressing his wife. ‘Hope that lasagne has magical properties, love.’
Unruffled, Mabel said, ‘I assume you’re referring to the number of people gathering outside. If so, there are three cakes in the bag. There’s enough hot food for nine.’
‘Derek’s got a good blaze going on the bonfire.’ Bert was anxious as he turned to Tina. ‘Are you girls going to be alright with that? You’ve possibly had enough fire for one day.’
Tina hid her rapidly paling face as she went to the dresser to retrieve extra plates. ‘This is a rather different sort of fire.’ Her pulse rate increased as she added, ‘I won’t be sitting too close though.’
‘Nor will I.’ Thea came into the kitchen, looking as if she was wearing every garment she owned. ‘But it will be good to be together.’ She headed straight to Shaun, not caring if anyone saw them together, and tucked herself under his arm. ‘We can have tomorrow’s meeting early.’
Mabel’s hands hesitated over the lasagne dish as she went to cut it into squares as she digested that her suspicions about Shaun and Thea being together in the house were right after all. Rather than comment, she said, ‘I didn’t ask how it went in Taunton.’
‘Dinner first.’ Thea came to Mabel’s side and kissed her powdered cheek. ‘Then work.’
Thirty-Nine
June 1st
‘It’s funny how a bonfire smells comfortable, while a trapped fire smells terrifying.’
Thea stayed close to Shaun’s side as they sat as far back from the flames as they could, while still benefiting from the warmth.
‘If you want to get further away from the fire, all you have to do is say. No one will mind.’
Thea held him tighter. ‘I won’t pretend I’m exactly relaxed right now, but perhaps it’s a good idea to do this. I don’t want to become afraid of bonfires.’
Mabel’s lasagne was being consumed at speed. As congratulations and thanks for her thoughtfulness for cooking for them combined with frequent checks that Thea and Tina were alright, the conversation drifted into speculating on the future of Mill Grange and its mill.
Thea knew the time had come. She had to tell them.
Shaun hugged her closer to his side as he felt her tense. ‘Is it weird that no one’s commented that we’re together? Nor that Tina and Sam are sitting so close to each other you couldn’t fit a teaspoon between them?’
‘Bigger things to worry about, which is good, but I’d rather have had some scandal than…’ Thea put down her plate of barely touched lemon cake. ‘I’m not sure I’ll be able to eat again until I’ve told them about the Trust’s decision.’
Dropping her voice to a whisper, Thea added, ‘I wish I knew who’d bought Mill Grange. At least then we’d know if it was a business intending to turn it into a corporate meeting place, or if it was a private individual who just hopes to live quietly.’
‘Which is worse?’
‘I have absolutely no idea.’ Thea shifted uneasily. ‘Shaun?’
‘Yes?’
‘It isn’t you, is it?’
‘The buyer, you mean?’
Thea suddenly felt shy about asking. ‘I’m sorry, that was a foolish question. You’d have said.’ Not giving him the chance to respond, Thea said, ‘Unless it isn’t sold anymore, of course.’ She looked at Shaun. ‘Do you think the buyer will still want it? Fire damage is expensive to put right. They might pull out.’
Shaun shrugged. ‘It depends if the mill was included in the sale. Did Malcolm say?’
‘No he didn’t. I just assumed it would be.’ She massaged her thudding forehead. Thea desperately wanted to go to sleep, but knew if she didn’t share her news now, she’d never relax enough to manage more than a night of conscience troubling tossing and turning. ‘Here goes nothing!’
Picking up a handy twig, Thea banged it on the side of her plate. Despite the crackles of the fire and the hum of her friend’s voices, everyone turned in her direction.
They’ve been waiting for me to speak.
As Shaun whispered, ‘You can do this’ under his breath, Thea cleared her throat, apologising in advance for her husky throat. An apology that was brushed away under a series of dismissals and comments of ‘of course you have a rough throat,’ ‘being trapped in a burning building does that,’ ‘we’re just glad you’re okay…’
Am I okay? Thea hadn’t had a minute to think about that yet. She swallowed, taking a sip of water from the glass Shaun offered, concern deepening in his eyes.
I can do this. This is my new start. This moment. Now.
She raised her hands to bring the group back to order and gave a smile which she hoped didn’t look as forced as it felt.
‘I’m glad you’re all here.’ She nodded at Tina, who gave a secret thumbs up from the opposite side of the bonfire. ‘Tina and I are fine. A bit shaken and in need of new clothes and some sleep, but thanks to Shaun and Sam we’re in one piece and in far better shape than the mill.’
Derek raised his glass of beer in Thea’s direction. ‘Do I dare ask how bad it is inside the mill?’
‘I don’t know for sure.’ Thea wiped her gritty eyes as she spoke. ‘We aren’t allowed back in until there’s been a health and safety check. The impression I got was that the spinning-room is a write-off, especially the ceiling. The walls are smoke- and soot-stained, but it’s the structural integrity of the building that needs checking. If that’s compromised then it’ll take more budget than we’ve got to put it right.’
‘You mean the mill may have to come down?’ Mabel pulled her coat tighter around her shoulders.
‘Possibly, or it may just be a case of a massive clean-up and redecorate. We won’t know for a few days. In fact�
�’ Thea took another sip of water ‘—it may not be our problem at all.’
Every eye was focused on her as Mabel spoke for them all. ‘What did the trustees say about Mill Grange’s future?’
Not wanting to catch anyone’s eye as she spoke, Thea stared at a small patch of earth just short of the bonfire. ‘It’s been sold.’
‘What?!’
Suddenly everyone was talking at once. Gasps of ‘but Mabel said it would never happen,’ merged into ‘sold, but weren’t they supposed to tell us about selling it, not that it’s a done deal already? How about Open Day?’
Through the cries of consternation, Thea spotted Mabel looking uncomfortable. Thankful that Bert was with her and had already grasped his wife’s hand, Thea raised her voice as much as she could. The result was rather squeaky.
‘I can answer some of your questions, but not all of them. First, Mabel’s confidence at the manor’s safety with the Trust came out of a conversation someone had with her – a conversation during which Mabel’s good nature was cruelly taken advantage of.’ She turned to Mabel. ‘I’m sorry, Mabel. I should have told you how underhand John could be. I didn’t want to burden you with my problems.’
‘John?’ The collective murmuring of his name as they all bit back the desire to ask Thea about why John was a problem, sounded across the garden as loud as if they’d bellowed their queries skyward.
Deciding to clear the air in the hope the subject would then be closed for everyone, including herself, Thea cleared her throat. ‘Some time ago, John was my boyfriend. The relationship was short and meant far more to him than me. He, to my never-ending bemusement, became obsessed with the idea of us getting back together. I hoped that, when I came here, he’d give up, but…’
Mabel went pale. ‘But then you ended up doing the television broadcast and he found you! Oh my God, Thea, I’m so sorry, I had no idea!’
‘Of course you didn’t. You have nothing to be sorry for. And it turned out to be excellent for the manor, and it brought Shaun here. For which I’m more than grateful.’
Diane smiled, ‘And now John’s long gone, thanks to Mabel.’
