“Yeah,” Vonda chirped, “Miss Prim and Proper has to keep up appearances. That’s why your husband strayed in the first place. Didn’t your mama tell you a man wants a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets?”
I heard several people around us gasp, but my focus wasn’t on the crowd. I couldn’t help it: I lunged at Vonda, but one of the security guards grabbed me and pulled me back before I could make contact.
“Uggh, I’m gonna kill her. Let me go!” I yelled, trying to jerk free. “She’s messing with the wrong one!”
“Stop it!” Nicole yelled. “Let’s go.” She didn’t give me time to respond as she yanked my arm and dragged me out the room and into the bathroom.
Nicole locked the door as I furiously paced back and forth. My rage felt like hot lava. “Can you believe the nerve of this trick? Just one good punch to the throat. That’s all I need.”
“Calm down, Shannon. You’re not punching anyone.”
I balked at my friend. “Calm down? This woman is making my life a living hell and you want me to be calm?” I screamed.
“Don’t give her that power over you. You keep letting her push your buttons. It’s obvious she’s crazy. Jay already told you he’s not leaving you for her, and he said he didn’t invite her here.”
“And you believe that?”
Nicole nodded. “After seeing that psychopath? Yes. So don’t give her the satisfaction of pushing you off the deep end.”
“Whatever, Nicole, I’m not trying to hear this.” I stopped pacing and took a deep breath. “But I tell you what I am doing. Not this. I’m done. I’m going home.” I leaned into the mirror to check my reflection and make sure that I’d pulled myself together and didn’t look the hot mess that I felt.
“The formal banquet is tomorrow. You cannot leave.”
“Watch me.” I threw the bathroom door open and literally bumped into Jay, who must’ve been standing right outside, waiting for us to come out.
“Shannon, can we talk, please?” he asked.
I glared at him, willing the tears to stay back. “If you know what’s good for you, you will get the hell out of my face.”
Jay’s shoulders drooped in defeat. “It… it’s not what it seems. I’m not with her. I’m not in love with her. I don’t want to be with her. I didn’t invite her here. I don’t want to be within a hundred-mile radius of her.”
“Really, Jay? Because it seems like you’ve empowered the skank enough to feel like she can come to our private event and torment and harass me. You gave her that power.” I jabbed my husband in the chest with my forefinger.
Jay ran his hands over his head, his face filled with exasperation and regret. “I messed up. She is bona fide crazy. I am so sorry.”
“You know what you can do with your apology?” I tried to push him out of the way. I had to get out of this bathroom before I suffocated. “Now, move.”
Jay refused to budge. “Just hear me out. I don’t want you leaving like this.”
I threw my hands up in resignation. “I wasn’t enough for you. You wanted someone who wasn’t angry and bitter and who fed your monumental ego, you got it. Now go live happily ever after with her psycho ass, because I’m done. Screw endorsements. Screw contracts and book deals. Just tell everybody to sue me, because I. Am. Done. I’m going home.” I turned to my friend. “Nicole, get me out of here before I end up doing something I regret.”
I burst out of the bathroom and ignored the rest of the people staring at me as I pushed through the crowd and out the door and headed out to the driver. My only goal was to pack my bags and get the hell out of the Virgin Islands ASAP.
fourteen
My wardrobe was feeling my fury. The meticulous care that I usually took with my designer clothes was out the window. I had dared a tear to fall as I crammed my Chanel into my carry-on, threw my Tory Burch into my tote, and stuffed my St. John into my suitcase.
Although it had been too late to get a flight out tonight, I’d be on the 6 a.m. flight out in the morning. I couldn’t get off this island fast enough.
“Unlike wifey, who likes to emasculate you.”
Ugh. Why were Vonda’s words haunting me?
I took a deep breath. Maybe because they were true. And if Vonda knew that, it was only because Jay had shared it with her.
I slid down onto the bed as my mind raced back to the first time I’d become cognizant of that nasty habit.
* * *
The dinner party had gone off without a hitch, and I paid the caterer as I walked him to the door. I surveyed the few people left in our living room: Nicole and Emerson, and April, another one of our friends from college and her date, Devin.
“So what do you think?” Emerson asked just as I walked back in.
He’d just pitched some type of investment idea to us. Jay had been listening intently and I could tell by the way that his mind was churning that he was seriously considering it.
“You know, I think you’re onto something,” Jay said. “But I’ll take a look at the proposal, and we’ll let you know.”
I refilled my glass of wine. I probably should’ve stopped three glasses ago because I wasn’t much of a drinker, but Jay and I had been arguing earlier about something trivial and I just needed to relax. I sipped my wine as I stood against the bar. “He means, ‘I’ll let you know because those “Touch My Insides” checks have long since dried up,’ ” I giggled.
The room grew silent.
“What?” I asked, glancing over at the shocked look on Jay’s face. “Sweetie, everyone knows, the things you used to do, you don’t do anymore.” I laughed at my reference to another one of his late nineties hits. “But luckily you have me to hold it down.” I reached over to playfully squeeze his chin.
Jay jerked out of my reach. “Are you kidding me?” he asked.
All eyes remained on me. “What?” I repeated, looking from Jay to our friends, who were all staring at me in amazement. I shook my head because my vision was getting a little blurry.
Jay didn’t say another word as he stood, marched into the kitchen, and grabbed his keys off the counter.
“Where are you going?” I asked, as he stomped toward the front door.
“You’re drunk, and I’m leaving before I say something I regret.”
“I’m not drunk,” I replied. “I may be tipsy, but all of us are drinking.”
“And you seem to be the only one who isn’t handling it well,” April said, taking my glass from my hand.
“What is wrong with you?” I called out after Jay.
Jay still didn’t reply as he slammed the door on his way out.
I turned back to my friends. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Wow at the fact that you really have to ask,” Emerson said.
“That was messed up, Shannon,” Nicole said.
I shrugged as I fell back onto the sofa. “Did I lie, though?” When we’d first married, Jay had still had a nice savings account, but he’d made one bad investment after another, and for the past year, I’d been the breadwinner of the family.
“You don’t need to say everything that you think,” Nicole said.
“Yeah, especially when it means putting your man on Front Street like that,” Emerson added.
The look of disgust on Emerson’s face surprised me.
“You just straight emasculated that man,” Devin added.
I wanted to tell him to shut up because he didn’t even know us like that.
“Really?” I said. “Get out of here, I didn’t emasculate anyone. Plus, I was kidding with him.” I rubbed my temple. My head was now pounding.
“Were you?” Nicole asked.
I rolled my eyes and shrugged. “I mean, it’s the truth, but what’s the big deal?”
“You emasculated him,” Emerson repeated as he stood.
Devin stood as well. His look of disgust matched Emerson’s. “We just got through discussing why men go and cheat with the clerk at the corner store,” he said, referrin
g to their heated conversation at dinner. “Because a man needs to feel like a man. And what you just did…” He shook his head as he motioned April to his side.
“Oh no, you’re not going to blame a man’s infidelity on the woman,” I retorted.
Devin stared at me. “I’m not. Men who cheat do it because they want to. No doubt about that. But while you’re making a man feel like a peasant, someone is around the corner ready to make him feel like a king.”
Emerson moved toward the door as he added, “That dude goes out into the world every day as a black man. And then to have to come home and have his wife cut off his balls…” He let his sentence trail off and shook his head like he couldn’t even stomach being in the same room as me.
“Nicole, I’m ready to go,” he said, as if I couldn’t tell based on the fact that he was already by the door.
Emerson and I had always gotten along well, but the way he was acting now, you’d never have known it. Emerson shook his head again. “I’m a little shocked. You’re a therapist, so you should know better.”
“Guys, let up off her,” Nicole said, looking at me with pity in her eyes. “She had a little too much to drink and is acting out of character.”
I attempted to stand up to follow them, but I felt a bit dizzy, so I just sat there. “You guys are being overly dramatic,” I said. “I was just messing with Jay. But I’m not even trippin’ on his feelings. Why would Jay go cheat when he has all of this?” I motioned around our elaborate penthouse that overlooked the city. “I’ve given him a good life.”
“I guess he had nothing to do with that?” Devin asked.
“And that’s just it,” Emerson added, motioning around the house. “All of this is for you women. Men don’t care about a big house full of designer stuff. What we want is to feel appreciated, respected. Do some men cheat just because they’re dogs? Yeah. And do some cheat because they want to feel like a king? Yes.”
“Oh, so it’s my job to stroke his ego?” I folded my arms across my chest.
“Yeah, it is. Just like it’s his job to stroke yours,” Emerson said.
“April, your friend is a piece of work,” Devin interjected.
I wanted to tell April to get her boyfriend of the month out of my face. Instead I just turned to Devin and said, “First of all, you don’t know anything about me to judge me.”
He didn’t give me time to get to my “secondly,” because he just said, “And after tonight, I see I have no interest in knowing you at all.”
* * *
The sound of my cell phone chirping brought me back to the present. I fumbled for the phone and found it sitting at the foot of the bed.
The chirp was a text from Nicole: Don’t want you to be caught off guard. Check your Instagram page.
I clicked the link that Nicole had sent and my Instagram page popped open. I took a deep breath to contain the bile building inside my throat.
Every time I thought things couldn’t get any worse, they evolved to catastrophic levels. And this was an impending EF5 tornado.
This tramp had no limits. Had she really just tagged me in an Instagram post? And was her profile picture really a shot of her sitting on Jay’s lap?
I opened the picture that she’d just posted—a view of the island with two wineglasses positioned prominently in the photo.
Loving the view from my room in Saint Thomas with the love of my life. The real woman always wins. The post had been made twelve minutes ago.
I clicked on Vonda’s name and went to her Instagram page. Her pictures were public for everyone to see. Every other photo was of her and Jay. At the beach, at dinner, at what looked like a family event. They looked like a happy couple in love.
I couldn’t believe Jay would not only disrespect me like this, but that he’d be so careless as to let her take all these pictures. Or maybe he’d been callous. Maybe he simply didn’t care about my feelings. Maybe all that nonsense he’d told me about her doing all of this on her own had been a lie.
Either way, this now gave me grounds for leaving when all these people tried to sue me. Who could blame me for bailing after seeing this? Yes, come tomorrow morning, I would be gone and wouldn’t have to deal with Vonda Howard anymore. And as quickly as I could cut Jay from my life, I wouldn’t be dealing with him either.
I tossed my phone and tried to sleep, but the rage wouldn’t let me rest. This woman had tormented me for the past few days and I was just going to slither away in defeat. The more I lay there thinking about that, thinking about all that Jay and I were losing, about my broken heart, the angrier I became.
After another thirty minutes of seething, I decided I wouldn’t be slithering away. Oh, I was still leaving, but not before putting this woman in her place. Less than three hours ago, Jay had been trying to convince me that “it wasn’t what it seemed.” Now he was laid up with Vonda in her hotel room? No, I couldn’t leave without telling both of them a few things about themselves as well.
I stomped out into the suite to see if Jay was back. Of course he wasn’t. His door was wide open and the bedroom empty. I grabbed my cell phone and punched Jay’s number in. I cursed when it went straight to voice mail. I was determined not to leave this island until I unleashed my wrath on both of them. Then I was going to tell Jay he didn’t even need to bother coming home. I would pack his crap up and leave it on the curb.
I was just about to come up with some lie to get Vonda’s room number from the front desk, when I remembered Vonda’s words. “I’m in room 1623. I expect to see you there.”
I ignored the little voice in my head telling me Don’t do it. I was glad that I’d gotten rid of Nicole, because I was on a mission. I was about to get ghetto-girl fabulous and hurt somebody. I didn’t care if Vonda sued me; I didn’t care if the tabloids got ahold of it. Right now, the only thing that would give me any type of satisfaction was beating the hell out of my husband and his tramp.
I grabbed my card key and stomped toward the elevator. It seemed like an eternity before the button chimed and the doors swung open. I stepped in and quickly punched the button to the sixteenth floor. The doors took their time closing, as if some outside force was trying to give me time to change my mind.
“I don’t think so,” I mumbled, pounding the button again. There would be no mind-changing today.
I stepped off the elevator on the sixteenth floor. I sprinted down the hall to Vonda’s room and was just about to bang on the door when it swung open. Jay stood there, his eyes going wide with shock when he saw me.
“Why doesn’t it surprise me that you would be here?” I said, my face masked with fury.
“I, no, it… it’s not wh-what it looks like,” he stammered, trying to close the door and step into the hallway. He looked absolutely panicked about being busted. Probably because there was no talking his way out of this.
“Oh, it’s exactly what it looks like, and I’m about to tell you and this wench where you can go.” I pushed past him and into the room with a force I hadn’t known I had.
“Shannon, wait!” he yelled, trying to grab my arm. Nothing he could say could stop me from unleashing my wrath on that tramp.
I ignored him as I stomped into the room. The smell of sweet lavender assaulted my nose. I guessed Vonda had been setting the mood for a romantic rendezvous with Jay.
The string of curse words was on the tip of my tongue, but then… I stopped and all the air in my lungs seeped out. I blinked. Blinked again. Then tried to process the sight in front of me.
Surely this wasn’t real. Surely this wasn’t Vonda’s body sprawled out on the floor. The way her leg was bent slightly to the side, the way her head was positioned, the way her eyes stared at the ceiling… I knew. This was no doubt her and she was no doubt dead.
She was wearing the same clothes from earlier, but now a long silk scarf was tied tightly around her neck, a look of horror frozen on her face.
“Oh, my God.” I gasped as I backed into the wall. I looked up at Jay, who had foll
owed me into the room. He looked frantic and disheveled. “Wh-what did you do? Is—is she dead?”
“Let’s go. Let’s get out of here.” Jay’s voice was panicked as he walked over and pulled me away.
I was frozen in place and couldn’t move, despite the fact that Jay was jerking me toward the door. Finally, I stumbled out behind him. We had just stepped into the hall when I popped back to my senses.
“Let go of me,” I said, pressing myself up against the wall in the hallway, away from him. “What did you do?” I repeated. Jay, the lover, the charismatic heartthrob. The man I’d loved for years—was a murderer?
“I didn’t do anything,” Jay protested.
“You killed her? Oh, my God.” I glanced back toward the room and a rush of panic swept over me. “You killed her,” I repeated in stunned disbelief.
Jay grabbed me and shook me. “Stop it. Calm down.” He forced me to look him in the eye. “Look at me. You know me, Shannon. You know I didn’t kill anyone.”
I shook my head and wriggled from his grasp. Would he kill me too?
“No, no, I don’t know you anymore. I don’t know what you’re capable of,” I said slowly. In fact, I was finding more and more each day that I didn’t know my husband at all.
“Yes, you do. You know me.” His voice was thick with desperation. “I may be a cheater, and even a liar, but you know I’m not a killer.”
“Is she… is she dead?” I sniffed, trying to make sense of all this.
Jay released a heavy sigh and looked around the hallway. “I think so.”
Suddenly, images of Jay strangling me until the last breath escaped my body, then leaving me for dead, since I had all but witnessed his crime, filled my mind and fear consumed me again. Before I knew it, I took off running down the hall. I had just barreled through the door and into the stairwell when Jay grabbed me and pushed me up against the wall.
I was terrified as I struggled to break free. “I won’t say anything, Jay. Just let me go. Please, just let me go,” I begged, after it became obvious his grip was too tight for me to get away.
A Little Bit of Karma Page 9
