by Sara Cate
This version of Alistair reminds me of the harsh, commanding man I first met, and I’d be lying if the deep tone and fierce attitude didn’t make my stomach erupt in desire. It takes literally everything in me to keep from biting that lip of his between my teeth just to feel his tongue against mine again.
Somehow I manage to speak. “Fine.” It comes out with a lot more conviction that I actually have. I’m about to get back in a helicopter with Alistair, and I’m a fool to think I’ll ever be able to walk away from him after this, but I have to try.
42
It started in this very helicopter. It’s about to end here too.
This time I’m in the seat he was in last time. I stay quiet as he asks me a few questions that I answer flatly without looking at him. “Someone’s been studying,” he mumbles, but I ignore him. He doesn’t need to know that I spent the first month after our breakup drinking scotch while wearing his jacket and reading the study guide he bought for me. Sobbing the whole time, naturally.
His leg is touching mine, and I feel his eyes on my bare legs as I maneuver the foot pedals. This skirt is really not made for this.
When we leave the ground this time, I don’t jump or cry like the first time we flew together, so why do I have the urge to hold onto him?
“Let’s take it out to Del Rey and back.”
“Alistair,” I complain. That island is the last place I want to see.
“We won’t land. We can fly there and back since you know the way.”
With a heavy sigh, I do as he requests, heading straight back the way I came four months ago. Once we’re up in the air, it gets quiet.
“I never really told you what happened that night,” he says into the comms and my grip on the cyclic tightens.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Well, you don’t have much choice now, do you?”
My jaw drops as I glare at him. “Was this your plan? Get me up here so I can’t get away from you? That’s hardly fighting for me. That’s more like entrapment.”
Completely ignoring me, he stares forward and waits for me to stop. “It took a lot of fucking guts to do what she did that night—”
“Shut up, Alistair,” I croak, feeling the tears coming.
“And I can’t change what happened, but I do know your sister was only human. She made a mistake, but she took a chance. It was bold and a little bit crazy, but now I’m taking a chance, Zara.”
A tear splashes against my leg as he speaks, and I don’t bother trying to quiet him anymore. “I’m sorry, Zara. I couldn’t be sorrier for what happened. It was a terrible mistake Emma made, but she wouldn’t want you to keep paying for it.”
“My sister wanted you, Alistair. How could I possibly come back after knowing that?”
“I don’t know, Zara. Love is fucking complicated. But I know your sister was the one who tried to remind you that you deserve happiness as much as everyone else. Now I’ll fucking be the one to remind of that. You deserve all of it, Zara. Every goddamn bit.”
I choke back a sob as I spot Del Rey in the distance.
After a long quiet moment, he finally speaks. “If you want to give me another shot, take this thing home. Land at Del Rey, and let’s figure this out together. Just you and me.”
My mind reels as it grows closer.
“But if the past is all too much, and you’d rather move on without me, I won’t bother you anymore. Take us back to the mainland, and I’ll give you everything you need to get your license like any flight instructor would.”
The tears start to dry, but my heart won't slow down as we get closer to the island. Everything over the last five years flies through my mind as I try to remember how it felt to fly out here for the first time. The transformation I’ve gone through, from quiet outsider to the girl on the stage and finally to the woman who knows her worth. It took a long time to get here, but is my journey really over? Is my time with Del Rey and the Wildes through?
Emma was a huge part of this journey but so was Alistair—and Nash. What happened out here wasn’t about sex or sharing partners or compromise. It was about family. It was about facing our grief together and walking through the fire, risking the outcome that it could burn us all up. The relationship we started was not meant to last, but it was meant to change us, and it did.
Nash found the courage to face his demons, overcoming them with me. I didn’t turn him into anything he wasn’t already fighting against, and I wish I had been around long enough to see him destroy those monsters, but that was a fight he had to battle on his own.
But what about Alistair and me? We’ve both come out of this changed, but is there still a chance for us to be together now, after everything? Will it even work? I’m not that girl he took on that first flight. And he’s not the man who showed up at my club and left me his jacket.
Taking a heavy, calm breath, I quiet my mind. I feel the pull toward that island, and it’s strong. Even if I could turn this helicopter around, why would I want to? I have someone who will push me and encourage me and love me. And as I start to lower the aircraft, I hear the intake of his breath in my comm system.
His hand grabs my leg, and my heart nearly rockets out of my chest. Suddenly, I can’t get this thing on the ground fast enough. As I land the helicopter, Alistair lets out a shout, and a smile splits across my face.
I don’t even bother with shutting off the engine, and I unbuckle in a rush, jumping into his lap the moment I hear the click. His mouth crashes against mine as his hands wrap around my body. I’m lost in the sensation of his lips, his scent, and his touch.
“I missed you,” I cry against his kiss.
“We’re home, baby,” he replies, and I smile.
It’s not the house or the island that he means. I know that now. This place might hold a lot of memories for us and represent the good and the bad, but this place is not home. He is my home, and I am his.
For so long I felt like I was falling, but this man pulled me in. And finally, I have landed.
Epilogue
Two years later
I love watching him with the kids. My tough, brute of a husband sitting at a table with a bunch of fourth graders as he explains how turbine engines work. The after-school camp has been open for six months now, and every chance I get, I come in to see him working. I love the new spark in his eyes.
After handing over the company and assigning basic operations to a new CEO, he promised me it wasn’t a retirement. He just needed to find that excitement again, so Wilde Aviation started a youth outreach program that serves the kids in the community. I was just relieved that he wouldn’t be sitting at home doing nothing while I was at the theatre. The holiday season could be especially grueling when it comes to hours they need me so I’m glad he has something to keep him busy while I’m gone.
His hearty laugh booms across the room just before he spots me watching. Quickly, he says goodbye to the kids and jogs over to plant a quick kiss on my lips.
“We have to hurry. Nash will be at the house in an hour.”
“An hour? That doesn’t leave us much time then, does it?” He winks at me and I shake my head, feeling a blush rise to my cheeks.
“Yes, and I could really use a shower,” I reply, grabbing his hand.
On our way out, he stops to check with the construction crew in charge of installing the memorial fountain in front of the youth center. Waiting for him by the car, I watch as he talks to the crew. He’s been practically obsessive over this fountain, making sure everything is perfect for Emma and Preston.
He’s assertive with the guys without being cruel, and I clench my thighs together, remembering all those days I would read in his office, just to hear him on the phone with his employees. I wouldn’t admit it then, but the sound of his commanding voice gets me going.
“Alistair, let’s go!” I call, and he obeys, jogging to the car.
The drive to the heliport is quiet as he reaches across and takes my hand, his thumb fiddlin
g with the diamond ring on my left hand. I stare across the car at his left hand firmly grasping the wheel, his gold band glinting in the setting sun. Why is a wedding ring on a man so fucking hot?
I keep waiting for this honeymoon period to wear off and for there to come a day when I don’t want to tear my husband’s clothes off every chance I get, but so far, there’s no end in sight. I guess when we officially started dating, I had two Wilde men to keep me busy, but I don’t bring that up a lot anymore. Not because he’s ashamed of it, but because Nash’s nonexistent dating life since me has raised some concern for Alistair.
I’ve assured him it’s because he’s taking time for himself and not because he’s wallowing in jealousy, wanting me back. Nash and I have moved on. We talk daily, but we will always be kindred spirits and in each other’s corner every step of the way. There is no jealousy there, only love.
As soon as we get home, I run to the bedroom, desperate to shed these sweaty clothes and wash up. Nash will be home for the holidays, and I still have so much to do before Christmas. Frank and Vera will be up tomorrow, and this will be my first official holiday hosted here at the house as Mrs. Wilde. I’ve been trying to hide how nervous I am, but I know Alistair can sense it.
Stepping under the hot water, I wait for the door to open before I start to wash up. And right on time, he walks in, already free of his clothes as he joins me under the hot spray.
This is my favorite part of the day, when Alistair soaps up every inch of my skin just to rinse it all off. In these moments, I feel the most treasured. And I’ve stopped convincing myself I don’t deserve it. Almost two years married, and he has spent every moment making sure I never doubt myself again.
When his lips find my neck, I purr, opening my legs for him. My hands cascade down his chest to wrap around this soft thickness. With one long, firm stroke, I have him growling against my body. Slowly he drops to his knees and I try to stop him.
“We don’t have time,” I argue weakly.
“It won’t take me long.” Then he has one of my legs draped over his shoulder as he consumes every inch of me, his facial hair rough against my clit as his tongue darts in and out. I cry out, holding onto him as my eyes squeeze shut. And he was right. It wouldn’t take him long. With enough pressure on my clit to make me see stars, I come hard against his mouth.
His mouth moves its way up my body, and just when I can breathe again, I grab his face and kiss him. “Fuck me now.”
Without another word, he presses himself inside me, letting out an earth-shattering groan. Grabbing both of my legs, he hoists me up to slide in even deeper. Then, he proceeds to come undone, fucking me hard against the wall, both us moaning and crying out as loud as we want. The moment I feel his body jerk against mine, I squeeze my thighs around him a little tighter. We stand there for a long time, breathing the same air and when his lips find mine, he pants. “Can I have this every day for the rest of our lives?”
“Yes, please,” I answer, kissing him deeply, wanting to feel his tongue against mine.
“You know,” he says gasping, “I’ve been thinking.” Finally setting me down and pulling out reluctantly, he pushes my hair out of my face.
“What is it?” I ask, concern growing in my gut based on the serious look on his face.
“I’m not getting any younger.”
Oh the age conversation, again. I smile and run my fingers through his graying hair. “Like I told you before. You’re like my very own fine wine.”
He laughs, kissing me again before pulling away. “Well, this fine wine has been thinking about little bottles of wine running around lately.”
I freeze. “And?”
I haven’t brought up the topic of kids for a few reasons. One, I’m not sure I’m ready for kids. Two, I don’t know if Alistair wants to be a father again or if welcoming a new baby would be too hard for him. But since he’s bringing it up, my heart starts to soar a little with the idea.
“And I’d like to avoid being eighty-years-old at their graduation.”
“So...you want more kids?”
He reaches down, taking my face in his hands and kissing me softly on the mouth. “I want everything with you.”
“Now?” I gasp, tears springing to my eyes.
“Ready when you are.”
As I link my arms around his neck, I let everything melt away. The stress, the fear, the grief. It never fully goes away, but when I’m with him, it doesn’t hurt anymore.
Freefall
Three years ago, I did something insane.
And it awoke a hunger inside of me.
A craving for something new.
Something powerful.
And I can’t ignore it any longer.
Preorder Nash’s story now!
Add to your TBR.
Coming March 30, 2021
Acknowledgments
Thank you for reading Gravity. This story was born from a crazy idea that evolved and changed and grew to the book you just read. It never would have gotten there without an amazing team of people.
First and foremost, the biggest thanks goes to my husband for answering all of my helicopter pilot questions. This book kept us connected during a tough time apart, and I know you loved playing a part in this crazy dream of mine. I love you.
Adrian, thanks for listening to all of my insane ideas and reading the messy stuff, and for still coming back for more.
Suzanne, thanks for being the email that always put a smile on my face, even the ones that started with “Remember, I love you.” Are you ready for Nash? I hope so. He needs you.
Amanda, chapter 33 thanks you for giving me the guts to write it. I appreciate your excitement and for being a freak like me.
Rachel, I know I probably could make a decision without you, but why would I want to? Thanks for all of your awesome support and for being the best of friends.
My amazing PA, Lori Alexander, who I would be a MESS without.
All the thanks in the world to the rest of my awesome team:
My ARC team of readers and bloggers. I appreciate you every single time.
Jessica Parker of Parker Premades for the guidance and encouragement with this fantastic cover.
Michelle Lancaster for the simply stunning cover photo.
Samantha De La Mar with Talk Nerdy 2 Me promotions.
Amy Briggs of Briggs Consulting, my amazing editor.
Kate Farlow of Y’all That Graphic for the graphic designs.
All of my Sweets in Sara’s Sweets for being the best fans in the world.
I hope you loved Gravity because Freefall is coming, and it’s going to be…well, wild. ;)
Beautiful Monster
Playboy. Socialite. Frivolous and Wicked.
Alexander Caldwell needs to settle down.
Hence the giant white house he just bought in the suburbs.
The one that backs up to the house filled with three single women living in it.
They all have their sights set on him...but it’s her he can’t get out of his head.
Alexander has absolutely no place getting involved with a teenage girl with the world in her eyes.
But he does.
Tortured. Lonely. Desperate to run.
Sunny Thorn needs to get out of her mother’s house.
To do that, she needs money.
Hence taking the job painting a mural in Alexander Caldwell’s pool house.
The man whose eyes follow her. The man with the sculpted jaw and commanding presence. The man who is way too old for her.
When Sunny has the chance to get out of Pineridge and start a future of her own, he should let her go.
But he doesn’t.
Preorder now!
Cover reveal coming soon…
Also by Sara Cate
Wicked Hearts Series
Delicate
Dangerous
Defiant
Age-gap romance
Beautiful Monster
Beautiful Sinner
&nb
sp; About the Author
Sara Cate writes forbidden romance with lots of angst, a little age gap, and heaps of steam. Living in Nashville with her husband and kids, Sara spends most of her time reading, writing, or baking.
You can find more information about her at
www.saracatebooks.com
