“Hi.” Jillian smiled, looking at me through the mirror.
“Hi.” I hurriedly rinsed my mouth before pulling my travel bag from my Gucci purse to brush my teeth.
Jillian watched the whole time, even stood there as I swished the mouthwash around.
“So you didn’t get the abortion like we agreed, I see.” She washed her hands.
“Jillian, what I do with my body is really none of your business. Your job is to manage Yono’s tours, nothing else.”
“You’re right. This baby in your stomach isn’t my problem, because my problems have to involve Yono.” She turned to face me with her brow raised before tousling her dyed red hair.
Jillian looked more like a stripper than a tour manager, but she did her job well, so I guess it didn’t matter. She was usually so professional and nice, but finding out I was pregnant had turned her into a demon.
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the fact that you were fucking Belly’s brother, Manuel, his little hype man who works his corner at his fights. Word on the street is y’all were in love, and now you’re with child.”
“How do you even have time to handle your job when you’re always so worried about what’s going on in other people’s lives, Jillian?”
“Tell Yono you’re pregnant by someone else or I will. I won’t allow you to pin a baby on him, ruining his career.”
“No, what I think is you don’t want this baby to be his because you like him.” I stepped closer to her.
“What? You sound fucking ridiculous!”
“Do I? Because you care a little bit too much just to be a damn tour manager. I don’t even think his damn mama would go the lengths you’re going. Hemming me up in the bathroom, threatening me… you’re going overboard.”
“I am not. I don’t like him; I work for him. And in order to make sure my job doesn’t go anywhere, I have to be sure he’s on his toes.”
“Well newsflash, Jillian, the woman carries the baby. Men have been blessed to go on about their daily lives as normal, while we endure all the lifestyle changes. I’m the one who won’t be able to drink nor eat certain foods, fit certain clothes, and eventually not leave the house unless it’s to take a walk around the block. Yono will be perfectly able to continue business as usual. Now excuse me. I want to get to this meeting.” I bumped Jillian’s shoulder on the way out.
I didn’t care what she said, she definitely had a thing for Yono. She was too up my ass, and the only people who acted that way were family or a bitch who was feeling a man. Even though I was ready to fight her when I wasn’t even a fighter, she made me realize that I needed to be honest with Yono now that I was keeping my baby.
“Alivia, sweetie, your tea is right here.” Sanya pointed to the cup just as I sat down. Jillian entered the conference room after me, looking peeved.
The meeting went on as planned, and I was happy to know my fee per show had been increased since I’d done so well with Yono’s previous tour. I was never late nor unprofessional in the slightest, so his team wanted to keep me. Of course, Sanya wasn’t letting that happen without a boost in pay.
I decided I would ride with Yono from the meeting since he’d made dinner reservations. He told me he paid to have the restaurant cleared out so that we could be alone, so I felt comfortable in what I had on. It wasn’t fancy, but it wasn’t super casual either.
The place being empty was perfect though because I planned to tell him what had been going on with me and what my plans were. I was sad that this would be our last night as a couple, but what could I do? Wait until my belly was big as hell?
“Okay. I will be back with the appetizers and drinks soon. The food will also be behind that shortly,” the waitress let us know.
“Thank you.” I nodded, and Yono followed suit.
“Baby, why you ain’t get no margarita? You love margaritas.” Yono grinned. I admired it for a second, knowing it wouldn’t be long before it disappeared. Although if he thought I wasn’t going to eat this food I ordered, he was severely mistaken.
“I do.” I sipped my water since my lemonade wasn’t here yet. “Troy, I want to talk to you about something serious.”
“You aight?”
“Umm, I think so. I will be fully alright eventually, but right now, I’m not sure.” I cleared my throat then continued. “Anyway, you know before you and I rekindled, I was dealing with someone else.”
“Manny.”
“Yes, and we weren’t just a fling; well, to me. I later found out that I meant nothing to him.” I paused, remembering the harsh things Manny had said to me. I quickly wiped the thought from my mind, not wanting to cry. “So yeah, things got pretty intense between us, and I’m pregnant now.”
Yono’s brows dipped instantly.
“Wait, you knew you were pregnant, and you still decided to be with me?”
“No! No, of course not. I didn’t find out about it until after we’d gotten back together. I wouldn’t dare do something like that.” I watched him blink constantly, showing he was confused, baffled, and in utter disbelief. “I’m so sorry, Troy. I went back and forth about getting an abortion, for more reasons than one, but I couldn’t do it.”
“So now what? You and him gon’ be together?”
“No! Hell no…” I paused to allow the appetizers to be set down. “No. He and I are not going to be together. He probably won’t even be in the baby’s life.”
“You love him?”
“No, I don’t love him.” I felt like it was the truth since I’d been telling myself this for a minute. But after talking with Blaise and then seeing Manny in person, I wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter though, because he didn’t love me, and I hated him.
“You don’t love him, y’all not gon’ be together, and he’s not gon’ be in the baby’s life. That’s what you’re saying to me.”
“Yes.” I ate one of the pieces of chicken from the appetizer. “I know this is over, and I understand. I’m hoping we can still be friends and can still work together. I will do your shows for as long as I can, but you will have to have someone else deejay once I give birth. It’ll only be temporarily though.”
Yono just looked at me before reaching across the table to grab my hand.
“Alivia, I don’t like that you got pregnant by that nigga, but I love you. I don’t wanna be with anybody else, so if this is the situation, then I can deal with it.”
“Yo-you’re saying you want to still be with me?”
“I do.” He kissed my hand. “And I wanna be there for your baby too.”
“You don’t have to do this, Troy. I won’t be mad if you break up with me. I kind of expected it already.”
Chuckling, he said, “I’m not breaking up with you. Shit happens. Long as you didn’t cheat to make the baby, we good.”
“No, I didn’t cheat.” I half smiled, basking in his good looks. “So we’re still a couple, huh?”
“We are.”
Our food arrived just then, and we ate our dinner over nice conversation. I was surprised by Yono’s reaction, but I couldn’t say I wasn’t happy. He was a good man.
I was still unsure about us having sex since the baby wasn’t his, but I would cross that bridge when I got to it. For now, I would enjoy my plate and my blessing of a man and baby.
Willem “Will” Dade
Sometime later… around 6:30 p.m.
“How’ve you been, Will?” Dr. Overt asked, crossing his legs and exposing the tip to his pen.
“Better, much better since I’ve been coming here.” I smirked, feeling happy as fuck. I guess it was contagious because he smiled as well.
“Could you be more specific? The last time we talked, you told me you were able to achieve an erection with a woman you knew nothing about.” He looked at the paper ahead of the one he was currently writing on before flipping it back over. “Her name was Katie.”
“Yeah. I did it a few times to be sure.”
We both laughed.
“Great. So I assume something new has happened?”
“Yeah. I took your advice/homework from the last session, and I think the shit worked.”
The last time I was here, Dr. Overt asked me to describe the times I was most attracted to Priscilla, and I told him it was when I saw her dance. He gave me the assignment to start watching her dance videos at night while in the bed.
“So watching Priscilla’s dance videos on Instagram resulted in what exactly, Will?”
“I did that every night for about a week, with a few days off just because I couldn’t due to my schedule. Then one night, I noticed I was getting hard, so I… you know.”
“You masturbated to the video?”
“Yeah. I know that wasn’t part of the shit I was supposed to do, but by the fifth night, I needed to, or I would get blue balls. Did that fuck it up?”
“No, no. That’s great, actually. It’s great that seeing her, in her normal environment, got you to the point where you needed to release.”
“Cool. Then, I invited her over, and shit got intense real fast. We were about to get it popping, but she got up and left since she thinks she got a man at the moment.”
“And you got an erection during this encounter?” He started writing, but when he glanced up, I nodded proudly. “Great. Why do you say she thinks she has a man?”
“Because he’s temporary. She’s not really about to be with this nigga.”
“I see.” He chuckled. “And what about you? You have a girlfriend. Dionne? How does she feel about you being so into another woman?”
“She umm, she doesn’t know.”
“Don’t you think you should tell her before you start making moves with Priscilla?”
“Well I want to make sure I know who I wanna be with, so I’m kind of playing both sides to see.”
“I think it’s quite obvious you love this Priscilla, but you want to keep Dionne around in case Priscilla decides not to be with you. I understand it, but it’s unfair to Dionne. You need to let her go and allow her to possibly find someone that wants her as badly as you want Priscilla.”
“But I care for Dionne. I love her.”
“Do you love her the same way you love Priscilla?”
“Yes.” I kept it short.
“Last session, you expressed that you wanted to marry Priscilla and that she was the first woman that made you even think of taking a wife. Now how is it that you love them the same, yet Dionne never made you think of marriage, and she was before Priscilla. Wouldn’t you have already married Dionne?”
“No, because I was sick.”
“Not the whole relationship.” Dr. Overt sat up straight. “Will, you need to let Dionne go, and as soon as you can. Because if Priscilla does choose to be with you then finds out you had Dionne in the trenches, what do you think her response would be?”
“Shit. But what if Priscilla never comes back to me? I’ll be by my damn self and might fall back into fucking prostitutes. Then we’ll be back at square fucking one. I gotta hold onto Dionne to keep that shit from happening.”
“Unfortunately, being alone sometimes is a part of life. It may be good for you to break up with Dionne and spend some time by yourself.” Resting his chin on his fist, he continued. “See, Will, it is very easy for humans to become dependent on other humans and relationships. When you become one of those people, you do anything to keep from being alone, which is a recipe for disaster.
You want to cure yourself not only to get Priscilla back, but also so that if one day you have no woman to come home to, you can survive. It’s okay to love Priscilla, but you don’t want to mentally and physically need her to a point where surviving without her is difficult.”
I nodded, not liking but processing his words.
“You’re married?”
“I am.” He showed me a picture on his desk of a woman, himself, and four kids.
“You don’t need yo’ wife?”
“I do.” He nodded then sat up straight again. “I need her, absolutely, but if she left me for some reason or if things happened to not work out, I’d be okay. I wouldn’t fall into drugs or habits that are detrimental because of it. Would I be sad and upset? Of course, but that’s as far as it should and would go. You understand my angle, Will?”
“Yeah.” I looked off out of his window, which gave a view of all of Beverly Hills it seemed.
“You want to be stable on your own and only then add someone. Trust me. Priscilla will be more attracted to you if she sees you can stand on your own two feet with or without a woman.”
About twenty minutes later, I was leaving Dr. Overt’s office, and after giving it some thought, I decided he was right about breaking up with Dionne. Same way Priscilla was honest with me about still having feelings for Rafi, I needed to do the same for Dionne. I cared about her a lot, but I knew if Priscilla came running to me, I would drop Dionne’s ass in a minute. And I loved her too much to do some shady shit like that.
Being without both Dionne and Priscilla was scary as fuck, but my doctor spoke facts; I needed to be good by myself. I knew Priscilla didn’t trust me, and for good reason, so if I came at her while still having Dionne as my girl, it would only ruin shit.
Pulling my iPhone from my pocket once I was in the car, I called Dionne.
“Hey, honey.” She cooed into the phone, sounding happy.
“Hey, baby. How you doing?”
“I’m doing okay. I’ve been trying to get a new gig, but none of them are paying what I deserve.”
“What’s your range? I can maybe find you a few things.”
Shit, it was the least I could do for being the worst boyfriend in the history of boyfriends.
“If it’s not a high-profile person, then three thousand dollars per show because I have to come to rehearsals and all that. If it’s someone big, then ten thousand dollars per show.”
“Uh.” I scratched my head. “Baby, that’s a lot. Those are fees that people with a bit of notoriety charge.”
“Priscilla charges that. I overheard her talking with someone once, negotiating a deal.”
The mention of Priscilla’s name made me queasy, mainly because it was coming from Dionne’s mouth.
“Right, but Priscilla is more known than you in the industry, so her charging that shit is justified.”
“She’s only known because she’s Rafi’s baby mama!”
“Well, not really, because for a while, no one knew that shit. But yeah, now it has boosted her name. However, no matter how she became known, she’s still more known than you.”
“You think she dances better than me?”
“No, I—”
“Be honest. Lying to me won’t help me, Willem.”
“Yes, she does, but because she’s more fluid. Dancing is natural for her, Dionne. With you, it seems like you do better with sexy moves, but Priscilla can do it all.”
“Okay.”
“But baby, you’re good. You get better with time too.” She didn’t say shit, so I kept on. “Aye, but when will you be home? I wanna come talk to you.”
“In like thirty minutes.”
“Aight, see you soon.”
Dionne lived just twenty minutes away from here, so I just went straight there. I sat in my car for a while, of course, looking on Priscilla’s page. I noticed that nigga Sly commented on a few of her posts, and she responded with hearts. The sight caused my chest to tighten, and even as I heard Dionne pulling into her driveway, I didn’t get out straightaway.
Irritated, I swiped up to get to my home screen and then pocketed my shit so I could meet Dionne at her porch.
“Hey.” She gave me a quick smile as soon as she unlocked her door and pushed it open.
“’Sup.” I hugged her tightly before we both entered.
“Are you hungry? I was about to make some food.” She took her jacket off as I locked the door. Dionne was beautiful as hell with her flawless light complexion and sexy body. She waited for my answer, tossing he
r curly hair.
“Actually, nah, I’m good. You have some water though?”
“Yep.”
I sat down on the couch and waited for her. She finally returned with my bottle of water, and a glass of what appeared to be white wine for herself.
“I haven’t seen you in two days, baby. I missed you.” Dionne rubbed my shoulders before kissing me.
I didn’t know if I could do this shit. Life without Dionne sounded uncomfortable.
“I missed you too.” I took her hand in mine and looked into her eyes. “This past year has been crazy as fuck for me. I kind of felt like I was just living and making moves with no thought. From cheating on you with too many people, making a baby supposedly, and just doing too much, I haven’t had time to really get my shit together.”
“But you’ve been going to therapy. I’m proud of you.”
“I know. Thank you. And I appreciate you for sticking by me through all of this when most women wouldn’t have.”
Did I really want to let this one go for Priscilla?
“I thought about it, but I love you too much. I want to help you.”
“I know.” I nodded. “Dionne, now that I’m improving in a lot of ways, I need time to focus on myself.”
“I can give you space.”
“Space would be nice, but I don’t wanna hold you captive anymore with my bullshit. You’re a great woman, and I swear to God any man would be lucky to have you. I don’t deserve you, and it keeps me up at night knowing I’m holding onto you when some other nigga should be enjoying you.”
“No, Will—”
“Baby, don’t you want a man that brings you flowers for no reason? Randomly takes you on dates or buys you a nice gift even when it’s not ya birthday? A nigga that can’t stand the thought of not talking to you for two days in a row? And makes you feel safe instead of like you have to babysit his ass?”
Dionne looked down before taking a sip of her wine.
“Yes, but you will get to be that man someday.”
“You’re probably right, but at the moment, I’m not. At the moment, that’s what you deserve.”
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