When I saw her enter the restaurant with her baby carrier, my heart began to beat out of my chest. I was so happy I couldn’t even contain the smile that had spread across my face. Rising up, I twiddled my thumbs as she neared, placing her carrier in the chair next to the one she planned to sit in.
“Hi,” I finally spoke.
“Hey.” Her eyes immediately darted to Iliana, and it felt good to see Blaise smile. “She is very pretty.” She sat down.
“He’s beautiful too, but I already knew he would be; look at Island.” I cheesed, but Blaise gave me nothing. “Thank you for coming. I know that you’re busy.”
“I am. But I have to eat sometimes, so I thought, why not.”
“Well I appreciate it. I brought you here because I want to say that I’m sorry again. I know you think I don’t mean it, and that’s fine, but I do. I meant it the last time as well. That’s why I haven’t been in any mess.”
“Hmm, is that why Ian approached Belly, claiming he had a crush on you?”
“What?” I frowned. Ian hadn’t mentioned that to me. Then again, we hadn’t talked much, especially because I was staying at my old place with Iliana. “I’m sorry. I knew nothing about that. But I admit I did tell Ian something like that very early in my pregnancy when I was still a fool.”
“Nichole, I get that you’d like to be friends, but I can’t call someone a friend that I don’t trust. You lie, you manipulate, you do all these underhanded things, and you sleep well at night after doing them. I would never welcome you back into my life. I don’t want you around my children when they become more impressionable, and I surely don’t want you around Cortez.”
Wow, that was like a knife to the chest.
“Yes, I understand. However, I love you, and I promise you that I am not the same. Sometimes people have to learn the hard way, and I have.” I felt myself tearing up, which made Blaise stop looking over her menu in shock. “Sorry.” I dabbed my eyes.
“Why the hell are you crying? I’ve never seen you cry.”
“It’s just all the things I used to do, or used to make fun of, I’m experiencing. Some girl was sleeping with Ian, and he bought her all this stuff. He missed the gender appointment, the birth, and I just…” I stared down into my lap. “I’m just not who I used to be, and that’s a good and bad thing.”
“What did he say when you found out he was cheating?”
“He apologized, said it would never happen again.”
“You let him miss the birth and still took him back? And let him cheat? You have definitely changed.” Blaise snickered, but not like it was funny.
“Isabella said I’m pathetic. How embarrassing is that coming from my baby sister?”
We both laughed.
“Do you want to be with someone else?”
“No, I don’t think so. I’m not the lovey-dovey type, but I can say I love Ian. I just can’t be with him like this.”
“Welp, then you need to pull out the old Nichole that didn’t take any shit. Make him beg for you, maybe even go on a few dates. Make him believe you’re never coming back, and shit, you might not want to.”
“Thanks.” I nodded, liking how that sounded. “I know you don’t want to be friends friends, but maybe we can be trial friends? Go eat, nail shop, small things and see how you like me.”
“I don’t know about being cool with someone that hangs with a bitch who tried to sue me.”
“Helen? She can go.”
“We’ll see, Nichole. We’ll see.”
I left it alone because for now, that was enough.
Blaise and I finished our food, and I happily paid the bill. She said we may get our nails done together tomorrow if none of her other friends were available, which was fine with me.
On the way home, I decided to stop by the bank to deposit some cash I’d gotten for this one job. Taking Iliana with me, I went inside to make the deposit then headed out. The music from the recording studio next door was loud, so I quickly put my baby in the car to keep her from waking up.
“Excuse me, Nichole.” I heard a deep familiar voice.
Turning around, I saw this rapper named Jarco.
“Yes?” I frowned.
“Can I chop it up with you for a minute?”
“For what, nigga?”
He laughed. His bright smile was very captivating. Jarco was fine as hell, paid, and anything he rapped on went to the top of the charts. I never paid him any mind, because he had a reputation for not being into groupies, so he was a waste of my time back then.
“Aight, I will get straight to it. I wanna take yo’ ass out sometime. I ain’t gon’ lie, I’ve been watching you on the gram for a minute, and you fine as fuck.” He squinted his eyes because the sun was beaming down onto his caramel complexion. My neck was hurting from looking up at him, so I gave it a rest and looked down for a moment.
“Thanks, but I have a man and a new baby.”
“I understand. Well let’s exchange numbers, and if something changes, we can link up.”
Thinking about Blaise’s advice, I replied, “Sure.”
“Cool.”
I gave him my number, and he called me so I’d have his, then went back into the studio. Turning back to face Iliana, I saw she was awake.
“Hey you, don’t tell daddy, okay?” I tickled her belly, and she smiled before I kissed her.
I loved Ian, but maybe a date would do me some good.
Will
That night…
I’d tried forgetting about Priscilla, but the shit had yet to work. I missed her, and I wanted her. Plus seeing the homies with their women didn’t help shit for me either.
I’d heard from a credible source, Belly, that she and Sly were over with, and when I say I’d never been happier to receive some news, the shit was crazy. It felt like I’d gotten a new spurt of energy, knowing she was single again. After that proposal heard around the world, I thought I was about to dip into depression.
During my session with my therapist yesterday, I let Dr. Overt know I couldn’t sit and wait for Priscilla. Although he disagreed, he told me that if I wanted to go that route, I would have to do more than showing up and pleading for forgiveness. She needed to know that she was special, and I needed to be ready to be focused on her. That meant no more Katie, which was easy since she hadn’t fucked with me since Dionne’s ass showed up.
And speaking of Dionne, she had completely cut me out of her life from social media and even in person. I tried to go by her crib to talk, but I was told she’d moved. The neighbor could’ve been lying, but I wasn’t sure.
That bothered me because I felt like shit for how I’d treated her and wanted her to know how sorry I was, even after she fucked my whip up. Hopefully, I would see her down the line, happy, and willing to accept my apology. It would bother me until I did.
“Shit.” I cued up the music once I heard my doorbell ring.
I knew Priscilla was on the other side, and this was my last damn chance to get her back. If she ain’t want me tonight, then I would be at a loss. Not sure if I would give up, but it would take me a minute to come up with a new plan.
“Hey.” She smiled softly once I opened the door. She looked good in the peach dress she wore. Colors always looked nice against her chocolate complexion.
“Hey, come in. Sit down.” I low-key pressed play on my phone so Sammie’s “Expiration Date” would play in the background.
“I like the darkness with the lava lamp.” Priscilla removed her coat as she sat on the couch. Her long curly hair smelled good.
“Thanks. First I want to give you these.” I handed her a bouquet of pink and red roses. I was nervous as fuck.
“Wow, thank you. You didn’t have to give me anything. I should be bringing you flowers.”
“Yeah, I did have to. I brought you over here, Priscilla, because I wanna be honest with you.”
“Okay. I’d like to be honest as well.”
“Go first.” I wanted to hear what she had to
say because I would feel like a fool professing my love to her ass, just for her to say she was in fact marrying Sly or something.
“I want to apologize for not being supportive of you. I was so focused on feeling like I deserved a certain type a man, which was a man who was already perfect, that I was stubborn. I was unwilling to stick by you through something that was hard for you. I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was too good. It was just after having been with someone who put my feelings and needs on the back burner for years, I was afraid of going into that same ordeal.
Sly had everything together, and that attracted me to him. It felt good to not have to fix someone, not that you’re just this thing that needs fixing, but you had a few issues. Anyway, I’m sorry. I should have been more understanding.”
“I appreciate that.” I touched her smooth leg. Her mocha skin was flawless. “I totally get where you were coming from though, so I don’t fault you. And you do deserve a nigga that has his shit together, you do.
I can admit that when we first met, I wasn’t up to that standard, but now, Priscilla, shit is different. My addiction is pretty much nonexistent, I don’t have the erection issue as you witnessed, and my life is just on a better path now. I still go to therapy, just because it’s healthy for me at the moment, but I’m good.”
“I can tell.”
We gazed at one another as Sammie continued to croon.
“Yeah, so I was thinking that maybe we can try this shit for real. You and me with nothing extra. No lies, no exes, no secrets, just something authentic.”
“Really?”
She looked surprised.
“Yes, woman. Why that face?”
“I just thought you didn’t like me anymore.”
“I guess I don’t. I do love you though. Ever since I met you, I haven’t gone a day without thinking about you. Not even when I was supposed to be angry or done with you.”
“So I’m not the only one.” She simpered.
“Definitely not. So what you think about my offer? And I’m not talking friends who sees where things go. I mean I’m yo’ man, and you’re my girl, officially.”
“That would be very nice.” She wrapped her arms around my neck before we kissed.
“I don’t wanna date long before we get engaged either.”
She paused to search my eyes with hers as we inhaled what the other exhaled because we were so close.
“Me either. Maybe you can meet Penni and Rafi this weekend if their father will sit down with you sometime this week.”
“Finally, shit.” I grinned as she giggled. “Thought I was never gon’ meet ya babies. I like that you kept them from me. You’re a good mother. Surely who I want to have my kids.”
We started kissing, so I moved the roses from her lap to lean her body back.
Pulling away, Priscilla panted. “One question. On the nights we didn’t role-play and you got it up, did you take Viagra or something?”
“Nah.” I clenched my teeth. Damn I wanted to lie, but I needed this relationship to be pure. “I had a little help from a strap-on.”
Priscilla’s jaw dropped, so I held her body tightly because I felt like she was about to jet. God, please no. I just got this fucking girl back.
“You were sick.” Her stale face quickly turned as she burst into a loud laughter, so I joined her. “The real one for tonight though, right?” She pecked me.
“The real one for forever.”
10
Isabella
I’d pretty much been a damn stalker for the past few weeks, trying to catch Judd. When I came to the gym, they’d never let me in because no one inside ‘knew’ me. And when I sat outside of his place, I always missed him because he would be out for a long time, or I’d fall asleep, and by the time I’d wake up, he’d be in the house already. Of course, he wouldn’t answer the door when I’d knock, so I was trying to catch his ass outside.
For thirty-six hours straight, I tried convincing myself that I was happy without his ass, because the way he’d been dodging me was pissing me the fuck off. I even tried to get Blaise to help convince me, but all she told me was that it was stupid to fuck up what I had with Judd over a loser like Herman. That made me feel even worse, especially because I knew that already.
Judd was like a diamond in the rough, and I wasn’t about to lose him when I didn’t even really do anything. And if he thought he was gonna date another bitch, he was sadly mistaken.
Tonight I’d done the most, buying a ticket to his fight front row which cost me $150. He paid me no mind while in the ring, even when we made direct eye contact. Now here it was an hour after the match had been over, and I was waiting around in this skimpy ass dress and heels, for him to come from the dressing room. I was sleepy, cold, and hungry, but I was not leaving.
“Judd! Hey!” I called out when I saw him heading toward the exit. He acted like I wasn’t there, but I rushed after his ass, right out of the gym. “Judd! Judd Jackson!” I followed him. “I will never leave you alone, so you might as well let me say what I have to say.” Nothing. “Fine, I will just continue to bother you. I will bother any woman you try to date as well.”
Pausing, he turned to look at me and said, “Isabella, leave me the fuck alone.”
“No.” I folded my arms, and he scoffed, running his hands down his face.
“Aren’t you tired of harassing me? It ain’t attractive!”
“Nope, I’m just getting started.” I moved closer to him. “Judd, on a serious note, I’m sorry. I really like you, a lot and—”
“Then why, Isabella? I don’t get it. Then you do it right after I let you meet my fucking child? Why not tell me you wasn’t feeling me before I brought you in like that?” He frowned his handsome face.
“I didn’t tell you that because I am feeling you like that. It’s just, Judd… I’m used to dating guys like Herman; immature, not really about anything, and don’t live actual grownup lives.”
“Well that ain’t me.”
“Exactly. Which is why I like you. I was just afraid.”
“Afraid of what? That makes no fucking sense! How you afraid of a nigga with stability that actually likes yo’ ass and treats you like something?”
“I’ve always dated guys like Herman because I knew I was better than them. So I didn’t need to worry about living up to a certain standard because they were always behind me in life. A man like Herman would always put me on pedestal because I was miles out of his league.
But you? You have it together. You have so much together that I don’t, and it was frightening to think how one day you would realize that I was beneath you, and move onto someone else. I still live with my mom, and I take pictures for a living, which is a faulty income! I already had this feeling, then I find out you’re coming up in boxing, which would only make it worse. Not only was I already not adding up, but now you’ll have even more women in your face who will make you see that.”
His scowl dissipated, and he dropped his duffel bag.
“Isabella, I like you because you’re beautiful, funny, kind of weird, and smart. I’m not trying to date you for your occupation or whether or not you have car notes and cable in your name. The point of being a couple is to help one another grow. You can show me shit, and I can do the same. I’m a boxer; my income is faulty too. If I don’t fight, I make no cash. Same way if you don’t get booked, you don’t make cash.”
I smiled, admiring his face and scent even though he’d just fought.
“I guess we do have things in common.”
“We do.”
After a few moments of silence, except for the sound of cars and dogs, I asked, “Would you be open to giving me another chance? I didn’t sleep with Herman. And I left right after you—”
“I know, Isabella. You texted that and left that same shit on my voicemail thirty times.”
“Right.”
“I’ll be open to it if you promise to take this shit seriously. I’m dating to have a wife, not a fling.”
“I’m dating to have a husband, preferably a short guy who has a daughter that loves Chuck E. Cheese pizza.”
“I think I know somebody like that. And I’m not short; I’m taller than yo’ ass.”
I cheesed, feeling a sense of calmness as he pulled me into his arms. Crashing my lips against his, I hugged his neck as tightly as I could. I was never letting this nigga go.
Blaise
“Damn. I should bend you over.” Belly hugged me from behind, caressing my body. I was standing in the mirror, fully dressed and ready to go to this Vanessa Mario party.
“No, baby. I don’t want to mess up my makeup or hair.”
“What time you gon’ be back? I wanna strip you.” He started kissing on my neck, but I stopped him before he ruined my panties. Belly’s touch always did something to me, even when I didn’t want it to. He knew just what to rub and when to, which I hated sometimes.
“It might run late, but I hope to be home by 1 a.m.”
“Aight. If you ain’t, I’m coming.”
“No, Cortez. This is exclusive and a big thing for me. You can’t show up acting crazy.”
“Well then bring yo’ ass home by 1 a.m., or gunshots gon’ ring out.” He pressed his dick against my ass.
“I will. Did you think about what I asked of you?” I turned to face him.
“What? About that magazine shit? You not doing it.”
“Cortez, nothing will be showing! And I want to do this! I want to look sexy. You don’t know what it’s like to carry a baby for months and then try to feel like your normal self afterwards.” I pleaded as he sat down on the bed.
“I don’t want people seeing ya fucking body, Blaise. Then I’m gon’ have to invade other muthafuckas’ dreams to beat their ass when they fantasize about you.”
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