by K. H. Kate
Vita struggles to answer. “He….he didn’t say a thing. Where’s Ares?”
“You think Ares is hiding here?”
Her eyes flash in anger. “He’s your brother. You tell me.”
“Enough.” He whispers the word but it works just as fast as if he were yelling. “Ares is not a child neither do I care about his business. So, por favor, I’m allowing you to search the place and then leave. I have better things to do than dealing with your silly games.”
My heart beats faster when he starts to drag me back to that room. Screaming for help is futile yet I can’t help when I hear another voice just as deathly snap from down below.
“He will pay for this, Ace. You both will.”
He doesn’t answer, he doesn’t even care that the front door shuts close with a bang loud enough to hear from every inch of the manor. Instead, he turns the lock to my cage, pushing me into it with a lazy smile.
"So what's it going to be, Barbie? Tell me."
I manage to croak an answer. Please, no. I’m sorry. Don’t. But as if he can’t hear me, he takes another step forward. The thought of Nick betraying me is what drives me to fight back.
"I don't know where he is." I don't know why I even try. Not that it will matter. He won't stop. "Don't punish me for his doings."
There is it. The punishment my brother should have taken is bestowed upon me. Does Ace want to stop now? I can't tell.
He keeps walking but this time even words fail me. It's like I'm standing on the pavement of our old house again. Frozen with the fact that our father was leaving us with no money, terrified at the idea of raising a kid on my own when I was a kid myself. Only when he is near that I take notice of his slow breathing and those eyes taking me in. I should feel disgusted, don't I? Then why can't I?
"You are beautiful, you know that?" My throat is on fire when his rough finger touches the soft skin. "Beautiful to look at. Beautiful to break."
"D-Don-t-" My voice shakes. It's already too late.
"That look in your eyes-" He stops near my ear, deliberately making me fall into the bed. Selfish Raine will hang onto every word, every warning Nick gave me. You fall, I fall. Lost and confused Raine just doesn’t care anymore.
"She used to have that look. That fucking hope always shining in her eyes." I don't know who he sees when he grabs my hips through the gown, almost breaking the skin. I want to stop him but I don't. Instead, I stare at his troubled eyes in question.
“W-Who is she?”
I just feel the ghost of his touch before he takes a step back, taking his confession away. His eyes are on me but I'm not his source of loath.
"She was like you. Beautiful…so lost." If beauty lies in misery...But he seems to disagree with me when a moan of protest leaves from my lips. Strained. Confused. Desperate. Maybe that's why he repeats with a snarl. "She was. Until that hope vanished and hate replaced her. You know why?"
"N-No." He's the kind of conflicted pain I don't need. Yet his gaze mirrors mine.
"Hate replaced her hope. She realized the power she could have if that parasite died for good. Maybe that's what you need too, Barbie. You need to forget him. Maybe all you need to do is kill the old you. Broken, beautiful, Raine."
Kill everything that I stand for?
"Can you do that for me, Barbie? Can you-"
Hope. He hates hope. He hates everything beautiful. He wants me to hate him. Broken...such an odd request he has. So I don't hate him. I look at him with the hope that he is wrong. So very wrong.
"You're still waiting for that bastard. You want your little brother, huh? Want him far away from me?" Ace is merely playing a game with me. But I can’t let him win. Not after what Nick did. I still have so many questions and if I know my brother, he’d think that I’ve already resigned myself to his games.
It’s time that things change.
"You can’t break me. Not like him." My voice comes out stronger than I hoped. Maybe that's one leverage I have against Ace. Only Nick has the power to ruin me. Not anyone else, certainly not Ace.
"Even if he toyed with your trust, he still has you." That’s the only warning I get before his lips come at me with a grunt. It's a punishment. It's Inferno. I let him kiss me against my better judgment. A punishment he said? How can it be punishment if it feels this good?
I stiffen completely when he rips himself from me, going as far as to chuckle at me. "You don’t hate my punishments. You hope for traitors. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you are already broken."
Broken?
Everything is a game, Raine. Imaginary Nick hisses into my ear. You think you can trust the devil over me?
I try to close my eyes, to make him disappear but Nick doesn’t leave. His words, his warnings only causes more confusion to grow. And if I thought Ace will leave me to my delirium, I'm wrong. His eyes watch my every move, every tear falling down my cheeks that I wipe. If he thinks that's the broken me, he's severely wrong.
Maybe that's why a mocking smile greats me as he shakes his head. "You're more like her than I've given you credit for."
He's gone before I can savor his lies.
And, in closure, I’ve only myself to blame.
CHAPTER 10
ACE
I picture the way mama used to wait. Wait for my father to return home. To give us the time we deserved. Sometimes she spent her whole night just by the staircase, waiting there like the naive woman she was. Hell, I think she wouldn't even care if she didn't get food in her system.
Destructive. I think her therapist said she was becoming.
Spade stopped talking to her at once when she went as far as to start sleeping outside of our father's study. Ares was just guilty for not doing anything sooner. That damn kid. And I was the only one who didn't think her as destructive. I only ever wanted to kill that hope in her eyes.
Your father loves me, Ace. He just doesn’t know how to show it. You will understand when you are older.
Yeah, I fucking did. I understood quite gladly that hope had no place in our world nor did love. Back then, she would have done anything for him and now? Now she’s just a cold hard puta who wouldn't think twice to shoot her whole family down. Cause by the time padre finally noticed our mama, she was already broken beyond repaired.
Your father's a monster, Ace. And, in no time, you'll become just like him.
I have had years to ignore mama’s existence. But whenever I remember her, another girl flashes through my mind. Unwanted, like the one currently in the East wing. But no matter what, I can’t stop imagine the girl with pigtails. The only one who mama cared enough to let inside the manor.
“She will play with Spade. He needs friends, he gets so lonely.”
Despite Padre’s warning, mama let the girl come and go until one day the girl was caught hearing something she shouldn’t have. Just like that, an innocent conversation was turned into a bloodbath. I’ll never forget the way mama looked at us then.
Terrified of the fact that we all bear our father’s demons. My eyes drift to the wine bottle. How many will it take for me to forget everything?
Too fucking more to care.
"No te ves bien, boss. Did something happened?" Roman’s usually calm demeanor is casted away in a frown. He has never seen me like this, so volatile in open. I try to say something but then I remember that he was supposed to guard her door. For a second, my mind takes in the scene of her trying to run away from me. What a fucking chase that will be.
One minute he is standing in front of me and in the next, he's facing the barrel of my gun. I trust him. I really do. But the nagging feeling that he is helping her run makes me want to pull the trigger and-
And what? Kill him for freeing her?
"Boss-"
"What the fuck are you doing here? Te ordené que te mantuvieras a la espera." For his sake, he doesn't flinch. He takes my anger head high and it's funny how I don't even remember stepping back.
"She asked for you, boss. I just wanted you to know."
Did she now?
He holds my gaze though. He's saying the truth but why? What changed in a day that had her asking for me? The same person that threatened to break her?
Part of me wants to call his words as nothing more than bluffing. Another is already heading up to the stairs toward her. And when I finally reach the wing, I don't know how long I stand there, staring at the closed door. How long before I can feel her pacing around the room. I can feel her scent, can feel her breathing hitch every time I exhale.
She's afraid. Maybe even regretting her decision to ask for me.
That's what makes me open the door with a slow smile on my face. She looks up to me and-it's not that fucking hope. It's something else I see. It's fight, not flight. She's determined to prove something.
"I-I want to help." Her voice is hoarse. "I need to find Nick."
My smile widens. "Well, that's what I want too. All you have to do is-"
"No, no, you don't understand." She says quickly over me. I think she doesn't even see that she's stepping closer to me. I can feel her fucking denial, the tears. All of it. "I’m missing something here. You don’t know him, he can do anything but what he did to me? It goes far beyond him. What if someone set him up? Maybe he’s hurt or maybe I’m just rambling. I want to learn the truth. I-I need to know that he still has some-"
I don't know whether to be irritated or just pretend that I don't know what the fuck she's talking about. This is what mama used to do. I need to know if your father still loves me. I need to know if he still has his soul. Does she think that I don’t know the look on her eyes?
"You need to know what, Barbie?"
“I need to know if he still has some humanity. I deserve to know it after everything I’ve went through because of him. Can you do that for me? Help me find him?" Her eyes are desperate. She can't seem to look at me in the eyes. Haha. I can only laugh internally. She asked for my help. No, she needs it. She needs this monster. She wants me to be her saving grace.
Not today Barbie. Not ever.
"No."
"What? Why?" Finally, her eyes find me. There's a confusion that shouldn't be swirling in her eyes. Did she really hope that I'd help her? Me?
What a fucking joke.
"No. I won't, Barbie." Not if she refuses to play my games. That's the only way. Be my toy or suffer.
"If I could find him I would, Ace." Mierda. That name in her tongue. "But I can't. I don't know where he is. What he is doing. What he wants to gain. I-I don't. I can't stay like this."
"Like how?" My voice is filled with anger. She needs this. She needs to know the man in front of her. I'm not a fucking babysitter who will get her whatever she asks for. And if she wants something badly enough…there will be a price. A deathly one.
"Like I can be thrown away once done used." She says it like it's just that simple.
"And what I'm going to gain if I finally take your offer?" I grit my teeth and wait. Don't do this, Ace. My mind screams. Don't play this game. Keep the real you hidden. Run. Stay. I don't fucking know. And I don't even fucking bother cause she's already looking at me with eyes that match mine for once.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
"I-I will do anything. Please."
"Don't!" I don't think. I don't have to. I only need to clench my fists from reaching out. "Never beg, Barbie. Unless you want to find yourself shackled with a monster like me. Can you do that? Beat me at my own game?"
Her breath stops, eyes taking me in. Like she really wants to do that. For me. Mierda, she really was going to do everything I say. Finally, I have her exactly where I wanted her. All I need is…
"I think you need to sleep." So am I. I just had a fucking crappy day. "I will see what I can do."
Maybe it's a lie. Maybe not. But all I know that sleep is the last thing that would be in my mind tonight...
CHAPTER 11
RAINE
For all the promises, I can’t stop the silent gasp when I’m jolted awake by the sound of my door hitting open. And for all my bravery I can’t even look away when Ace gets himself inside with determination. Before he can say something though, my mouth is already running.
“If you came here to mock me-”
“Get up.” He doesn’t sound angry neither impatient. Did my will to become his toy grant me such emotion? No, I look harder and in a minute the illusion shatters. He may not be forceful but I’m still a pawn to him.
I can still fail to play my role, make mistakes. Grave ones.
So, scrambling to my feet, I find the first dress in the closet, another sparkly white gown. Most of the clothes look newly brought but only one of them is worn, in the color of bleeding red. Did someone else had the same fate? Another toy? Before the thought can take over my mind, I hurry along to shower. And by the time I’m fully dressed, he’s already leaving the room with a nod. A silent, follow me.
“Where are we going?” I ask, dreading what’s coming next. Another traitor? My brother? But soon it becomes apparent that Ace is somehow giving me a tour of the manor without saying a word. And if I wasn’t a prisoner…I might even like the place, a lot.
“Boss.”
My eyes dart quickly at the sound of a new voice and Lou looks just as shocked as I feel. I can imagine him wondering why I’m roaming around when I should be locked inside. But he masks that emotion in a blink before I can read any more into his frigid posture.
“You have the papers?” Ace snatches the damn thing before Lou can answer. And whatever he finds in it must be good because a sigh leaves from his lips. “Well done, Lou.”
Despite the relief in his master’s voice, Lou frowns. “They are not going to be happy if-” For a fraction his gaze finds mine, the frown getting deeper. “You know the cost, boss.”
I doubt Lou wants me to see the tension between them but it’s there. Something is happening outside this manor. Something worth enough for Ace to worry. Before I can voice them aloud, Ace turns to me.
“We need to discuss something. Come on.”
To Lou, he says something that I don’t understand. But every word is spat with violent roars. Cursing? No, they sound like warnings.
Only when Lou leaves that Ace continues walking toward the dining hall. The place is huge, the setting meant for a big family. But there’s only us and my breath hitches when I feel him closer than I realized.
“Sit down, Barbie.”
I drag a random chair, falling forward to escape him. And if I thought he’d take the head of the table, I’m mistaken. He chooses to sit beside me, all the while watching my reaction.
“You wanted to discuss something,” I mutter, looking down at my lap. “What is it?”
“We’ll talk but first we’ll eat.” Eat. He meant to sound it like a chore but I flinch anyway. Unsurprisingly, the reaction doesn’t go unnoticed when I hear the disapproval in his voice. “You look too skinny, I can see your bones for fuck’s sake. You need to eat.”
Shame colors my cheeks, but for once he’s right. I haven’t been eating regularly, I’ve lost more weight in the last few days than I’ve lost in years. And if I want to still fight, I need my strength back. So when he orders someone to put breakfast on the table I don’t say anything. I don’t even mention that I hate bread, tearing into the thing like I’ve imagined tearing his head many times.
I suspect he stares at me more than enjoying his own food. And I’m proven right when I’m barely able to gulp down the water before he’s speaking.
“Look, Barbie-”
“Why Barbie?” I want to sound like I’m genuinely curious but all it comes out as a harsh, painful rasp. “I have a name. I am Raine, so why do you call me that?”
I seem to startle him for a second as his eyes narrow in warning. Too far? I don’t think so. If he wants to play some kind of game then I need an equal foot. And being called a Barbie hardly establishes that.
“Well?”
“You are no one important.” I think for a second I misheard him but the darkne
ss in his eyes is real. A nobody. “People like you don’t get names, they are just…there. To fulfill purposes until the world forgets about them.”
Is that who I want to be?
Anger comes out of nowhere. I stand up, feeling a pang in my chest. No, I can’t be that. Never again. “If I’m offering myself, I need respect, trust. How can I know that you won’t throw me at the wolves once you find Nick?”
His tensed figure warns me to stop. But I can’t stop hurling those words. “Do you even keep your promises? What if right now Nick walks in, can you stop yourself from-God!”
I should have seen this coming, I tell myself. But his grip on my throat is too tighter today, and when I dare to meet his eyes I’m afraid to find nothing. No anger, no warning, nada.
“You need to learn.” He says, his voice void of any emotion. “Kneel.”
True fear runs down my spine. Kneel? I start to see black spots but I can’t stop the sudden whimper from seeping through. “W-What?”
“Come on, kneel.” But he already pushes me on the floor himself, going as far as to pet my hair with his spare hand. I try to say something but I end up coughing when his other hand finally releases my poor throat. God, my throat burns, touching it doesn’t soothe the blazing pain either.
“Such anger doesn’t suit you, Barbie.” He shakes his head as if disappointed. “If I tell you to kneel, you kneel. Defying me will only make it hurt, because I have every intention to bite back.”
My lips tremble at such promises. “What are you going to-”
I hear only a snippet of whispers and I’m not even sure if it’s Ace speaking. “Now, stay like this as long as I tell you, don’t talk. If the day passes, let it pass. If the weak passes…I hope you learned your lesson.”
My mind is in pieces but I was wrong before. I single-heartedly threw Ace in the same category as Nick. My puppeteer is a monster with routine, he’ll hardly go off his way to hurt someone. But this devil? Ace is unpredictable at the core.
And when two day passes with no other words, only the burn in my knees is proof of that statement. Not that he left me to suffer alone cause I could hide myself then, regret my actions in wake of pain. But no way. At daylight, he chose to work on his laptop from not far away and when night fell, he stayed in that dining hall staring at me as if he’s trying to crack some codes. And just when I think that I can’t do this anymore I hear one magic word.
