“What?” she frowned at that.
“Husbands. Lovers,” Zayden pressed. “Remember my explanation for a mayara? We Andinna are matriarchal, and females can have as many husbands as they choose, as long as everyone is agreeable.”
She must have just missed what he’d said. Then she thought back to another member that was apparently not on this mission. Kian. She had listened into that conversation. He had a wife with other husbands. She hadn’t been observant enough, or just hadn’t gone back to that fact. She’d been preoccupied in the woods, her mind full of other things, like the idea of escaping.
“How does that work?” she blurted out. In the Empire, it was one to one. One lover or spouse of any gender, but that was it. Only one, unless they were doing something they shouldn’t be, like fucking a slave or cheating. None of them appreciated learning their chosen partner was with someone else. Mave had a sneaking suspicion she wouldn’t be okay with it either. A male she was with being with another female? Even the prospect made her upset.
“It’s how we are. We’ve always had a gender disparity, more males than females. We adapted.” Matesh shrugged. She could hear how okay with it he was. He said it like it just was and that was it. “There is a bit of a built-in double standard. You can have as many males as you want. We can only be with one female at a time, even if it’s casual or unofficial.”
“Well, that makes me feel better,” she said, smiling at him, trying to hide her discomfort. The entire idea made her uncomfortable. Having multiple males? She could barely handle two as friends and her life was marked with males that had wanted to use her or kill her.
“It should. His cock belongs to you and only you when you want it,” Zayden agreed, laughing again. “Rumor has it, he’s good with it, but I’ve seen it. I wasn’t impressed.”
“Let’s not start talking about cocks,” Rainev mumbled, looking away from them. “Well, not this group’s. I don’t want you two to start comparing. That’s gross.”
“Yeah, Zayden, don’t scare your son with that pathetic excuse of a pine needle you have. He’ll wonder how his mother ever-”
Zayden tackled Matesh to the floor, knocking down both their chairs. Mave was chuckling to herself as they wrestled on the floor.
“What the hell is going on in here?” Alchan’s voice cracked out like a whip, so harshly that Mave winced, feeling like a lenasti was there.
Mat and Zayden broke up, still laughing. “He called my dick small,” Mat laughed out, holding his chest. “We’re just having a bit of fun, Alchan.”
“Oh, so we’re measuring cocks for the female now. Good to know. Cut it out.” Alchan’s eyes fell on her after that. She met the angry stare. “Did you encourage this?”
“No, she didn’t,” Rain cut in. “We were explaining more about Andinna relationships, how we’re matriarchal, then my dad cracked a joke. It went off from there.”
“Of course.” Alchan’s glare went back down to the adults on the floor. “You two are too old for this.”
“You need to remember to be as young as you are,” another voice interrupted. Leshaun walked in and levelled a glare of his own on Alchan. “They aren’t causing any harm. If anything, this is good. Shows that they haven’t been too affected by their time in slavery.”
“Of course. The old man comes to chastise me,” Alchan muttered, sounding perturbed. She was beginning to intensely dislike this male. He seemed like Seventy-Two. Everyone around him needed to get in line and follow orders. No one could question him or point out his flaws.
“You know you like it, boy,” Leshaun retorted. He held out a hand and Mat grabbed it. Leshaun helped him up and then Zayden. “You’re all too young to forget to have a bit of fun.”
“We’re on a serious and dangerous mission. Roughhousing, and the noise with it, will bring scouts and soldiers to our location.” Alchan wasn’t backing down.
Leshaun didn’t seem to care. “Yes, but we’re talking about males who are close and have been separated by the Empire and nearly lost each other. Zayden didn’t just nearly lose his son, but also his closest friend.”
She liked Leshaun much more than Alchan.
“Keep it down, then,” Alchan snapped, turning to leave them again, going into one of the few rooms of the boat.
“That young male needs to cool down. You two know I just saved you from a harsher ass-chewing, right?” Leshaun crossed his arms. Zayden shrugged, while Matesh ignored it completely, righting his chair then sitting down.
“You can help us teach Mave some things,” he declared, tapping the table. Zayden righted his own chair and fell into it. “Come on, uncle. She has a lot to learn, as I’ve told you.”
“Yes, I’ve been compiling a list for it and thinking about who can take on what duty in that respect.” Leshaun slid on the bench next to her. She stiffened, pinned between the old male and Rain now. “No need for that. I’ll let you out if you ask; no harm will come to you.”
“I just…” She swallowed her anxiety. “I’m fine.”
“Of course you are, female,” Leshaun chuckled. “My wife used to say the same thing.”
“Aye, they all do,” Zayden said.
Her mouth set in a hard line as she listened to the teasing. She was getting teased. She didn’t enjoy it. “I’m fine,” she repeated. She refused to budge now.
“There’s the stubbornness I know,” Mat muttered, smiling as well. “What do you want to know now? We can talk about this mission or just free Andinna. What else is in the world, that sort of thing.”
“Where are the free Andinna?” she asked immediately.
“There are pockets of our people through Zira and Olost, though mostly in Olost. Zira has a lot of internal drama between the shifter clans, and only a few Andinna live there. Olost let us set up full villages in the mountains, where we feel most at home.” Leshaun answered that. He did so in the same patient, quiet voice he did most things, she realized. He didn’t seem very much like a warrior. “Only about twenty percent of our population is free, though. Most are slaves to the Empire.”
A full twenty percent. Now including me. I’m one of them now.
“Only twenty percent? You must not realize, but to those of us who have always been slaves, or slaves since the War…there’s very little belief in free Andinna. Twenty percent seems huge.” She marveled at it. That was so many of their people.
“Every time we go on a mission, we end up freeing a couple more. It’s never our objective, but we help where we can. Mostly, we just try to support those who are already free. Maybe we can rebuild our population and keep new homes in Olost.”
“You don’t think we can ever go home?”
“Anden is lost,” Zayden interrupted. “There’s no getting it back. Much of the country is littered with Elvasi settlers and their guards, which is nearly a third of the Empire’s army. We go piss them off pretty often but there’s no getting rid of them. They don’t even use Andinna slaves up there, so none of our people are left.”
“The Empress keeps getting messages about how the settlements fail or are too costly,” she murmured, thinking about it. “She joked recently about needing to reinvade Anden.”
“It’s a wild land. It’s the last place in the known world that wyverns fly free. Gryphons and other larger beasts are prevalent there as well. The region is very mountainous. The farmland needs to be carefully tended. The Elvasi have probably ruined much of it by now, slowly making it unlivable over the last thousand years.” Matesh groaned, rubbing his face. “I hate thinking about home and what they’ve probably done to it by now.”
“Same.” Zayden mumbled it as he stood up. “The only bright side is they have never been able to access our temples. You can’t reach them in the mountains without being able to fly.”
“But no one is tending the temples, and when we go to Anden, we never go near them,” Mat retorted.
Temples, beasts, farmlands. Home. She marveled at how much they knew of home. It might well be lost,
but she could feel in her chest that it was still home. It was where she’d been taken from, watched her mother be slain. Where she’d been dragged out from underneath her bed, screaming out for her arra.
“Let’s stop talking about Anden,” Zayden grumbled.
“I’ve never been,” Rainev whispered to her. “We haven’t done a mission up there since I joined the Company.”
“I’ve…I barely remember it. Only the small area around my home,” she admitted to him.
She realized Leshaun had gone quiet, watching them all. She wondered what he was thinking about. He would have spent most of his life in Anden, fought through the entire war while in the back half of his prime.
The conversation disappeared as Zayden dropped a bag of jerky in front of them to chew on. She took a piece and was able to appreciate the taste better than the last time she’d tried it. The flavor was still explosive, hot enough to make her mouth too warm, but she was at least ready for it. It reminded her of Mat, his hot and spicy smell and taste. Her eyes fell on him as she chewed on it, thinking about that.
She enjoyed the jerky much more after that. It wasn’t food she was accustomed to, but it reminded her of something she enjoyed.
He noticed her watching and smirked. That arrogant, aggravating smirk, as if he knew what she was thinking. She bared her teeth at him, which gained a chuckle in return.
From Leshaun, of all people.
“Nephew, is there something I need to know? Something you didn’t tell me? I know what a female must be thinking to bare her teeth at a male.”
“No, bodrya-”
She raised her eyebrows at that.
“They’re fucking,” Zayden cut in. “Or will.”
“We haven’t,” she corrected casually. There was no reason for misinformation to spread. She ignored the heat on her cheeks. Something about her sex life just being out there in front of these free males was somewhat awkward for her. She didn’t know where it came from, since over a thousand years, she’d developed a thick skin against the opinions of the males in the pits.
Then again, she had no respect for the males in the pits. Something about this group made her want their approval even more than others. Free Andinna who knew their people, knew things she wanted. She didn’t want to be an outcast here.
I’ll always be different, but I won’t be alone if they approve of me.
“They were about to when you broke us out, baba,” Rain added, grinning mischievously. She elbowed him for that, causing chuckles from the other males at the table.
His father’s eyes were also mischievous, narrowed at her with a small smile. He opened his mouth, but was cut off.
“Be nice to her,” Leshaun murmured.
“You don’t need to defend me, sir,” she quietly told him, looking to the older male. “I know this is teasing. If they insult me, they’ll know it.”
“Someone needs to look out for you, little female.”
“No, not really, old man,” she fired back, insulted by that idea. She’d never needed to be looked out for before. She had her own back when push came to shove. And there was nothing little about her. She was taller than females of other races, even if she was shorter than Andinna males. She wasn’t as strong as any of them, but she was faster than most.
She and Leshaun stared each other down for a long moment, silence descending over the group. She would admit to liking having someone watch her back, but she had never needed anyone to.
“Just like her mother, see?” another voice murmured from the way into the back hall. Her eyes snapped up to see Alchan and Luykas standing there. It was Luykas considering her, while Alchan just went up the stairs to the deck. “Your mother was a stubborn warrior female as well. She fought in the war alongside your father until she went through her fertile time and got pregnant with you.”
Something about that made her feel proud. Just like her mother. But again, she was frustrated by this knowledge that Luykas kept trotting out about her family. It pushed the button of her temper, added with the spell he’d done on her. “I’m glad to see you have the balls to show yourself,” she snapped at him.
“I deserve every bit of ire I get from you; don’t expect me to argue with it.” He bowed his head respectfully.
She felt bad for her aggressiveness. He seemed to just take it, and it made her feel vicious and cruel. Exactly what the Empress always said her people were. Beasts, barbarians, unsuitable for civilized cultures.
“Night’s fallen. We’re going to get moving again. If you want to come up, you’re allowed to,” he said, then followed his brother.
“You do have a bite to you,” Zayden mumbled, considering her. “You really didn’t appreciate him putting you to sleep, huh?”
“You wouldn’t have either, if…” She didn’t finish. She didn’t need to say that she felt uncomfortable with being spelled or drugged because that normally led to her being whored in her sleep. Or nearly killed. Or any other possibility. She stood up and followed the others outside, needing to leave the cramped confines of the small boat. She was only thankful that it was built to fit wings, but it didn’t allow more space than that. Like the pits. Now she had options, so she was going to choose not to be held in the dark.
She went for a rail and looked up to the stars, still somewhat mystified by how big the sky was. The city and the Colosseum had always blocked most of her view of it. Something about just staring at the sky calmed her nerves, made her feel more at ease.
Others of the Company also made their way onto the deck. She heard Nevyn making light of something as the sails were released. Brynec was making some comment about selling the boat if it wasn’t destroyed, but Luykas quickly shot the idea down with something about how the boat was going to be abandoned in Myrsten. Alchan barked a couple orders to get people moving faster, and in only a short moment, they were off, going down the river again.
“The waters will be calmer as we reach the fork. It’s used as a smaller trading hub by some and can be busy,” Matesh explained when he walked over to her. “We’ll be at Myrsten right before dawn and need to do a transfer to the ship that will take us to Olost.”
“Sounds dangerous,” she murmured, looking at the forest they were passing by. Trees. There weren’t many of those in Elliar, and none so wonderful or lush. These were huge things that rose high above, but still left so much sky for her to see. They’re beautiful. I can’t believe I forgot about how big trees could be. I was in the mountains with my arra. There were tons of big trees there.
“It will be, considering how we escaped less than a day ago,” he agreed softly. She ignored how he ran a hand over one of her wings, how it quivered when he touched it. “Do you want to stretch them? You hold them like Bryn, so tight. It can’t be comfortable.”
“It’s what I’m used to.” She sighed, shrugging. She didn’t find it uncomfortable. “Holding them relaxed like you all do, slightly open, is something I’ve never been allowed. I would probably find that uncomfortable.”
“If you want to learn to fly, then you need to stretch them.”
She considered that, then nodded. He was right, and being able to fly was one of her deepest wishes. She opened them slowly and gasped as her shoulders cramped and tensed, along with the muscles of her wings. Before they could even fully spread, she was falling to her knees, her entire back paralyzed.
“Whoa, Mave. Explain what’s going on.” Matesh fell to his knees next to her, holding her before her face hit the deck.
“It hurts,” she bit out. “Why does it hurt so much?”
“Have you ever done a full extension?” he asked quickly.
“No,” she moaned in pain, trying to stretch and move so the pain ended. Instead, her muscles locked up and held her wings back down, unwilling to release them and let them move. Matesh began to curse.
“Matesh, help her stand,” Leshaun’s voice cracked out, suddenly more authoritative than it had ever been. “You shouldn’t have tried this, Matesh. This isn’
t your fault, female. A thousand years - your muscles are undeveloped and weak. They have never moved and don’t want to. It’ll be months before you can consider flying. You’ll need someone else to stretch the wings with you into their full extension.”
Matesh helped her stand as rough, practiced hands rubbed into the muscles of her wings. They loosened slowly as Leshaun continued to berate Mat for not realizing her long period of never using them was something he should have taken into account.
“Aye, Mave!” Bryn called out. “Don’t feel bad. We all got problems when we have the bindings removed.” She looked over to the rogue, who was smiling sadly at her. He walked over and ignored Mat, who backed away at the intrusion. “No worries, yeah? Leshaun will get ya right. Happened to me too. Six hundred years and I was barely a man when the war ended. Couldn’t even join the military to help fight, I was so young.”
“She shouldn’t even be up here,” Alchan barked out from his place next to Luykas. “People will see her and know.”
“There’s no one around,” Luykas chastised softly. “Let her have some fresh air.”
“When we go through the fork, I want her back below deck, Luykas.”
She wanted so badly to argue with him. To snap and snarl at the rude male that reminded her of ones she hated in the pits. She kept her mouth shut, though, letting Leshaun continue to work the cramps and knots out of her wings and back. The pain eased and loosened but in the end, she kept them tight to her back, unwilling to stretch them again and feel that pain all over again.
The Gladiator's Downfall Page 31
