He reached out and touched her arm, skin to skin. For every second he touched her, she could feel too much. His feelings and hers were flying through her, and she didn’t understand where she ended and he began. She yanked away first and shoved his hand away.
“Oh Skies,” she gasped, moving further away.
“It will eventually fade, that I promise, but it’ll take…time.”
“How long?”
“Some writings say it can last nearly a thousand years,” he answered, looking away from her. “Some say they fade much quicker through blood-letting, though blood-letting makes the bond one-sided unless both do it.”
“You…bound me to you.” She took deep, long breaths, trying to control her temper. “You fucking own me now.” She would never be able to be away from him now. She felt choices she didn’t know she had evaporating into obscurity. The ability to choose her own path, gone.
She finally had choices and now they were gone before she even saw what they could be.
I had a future. For just a day, I had endless possibilities. For the first time, I had a choice.
And he stole it from me. Just like they did.
“No. no, Mave I don’t own you. I’m just as beholden to this as you are, but I wasn’t going to see-”
“Get out. Gods damn you. I thought I hated your brother.” She cursed him, pointing to the door. “Get out.”
“Matesh will tell you more about the blood bond, since you don’t want to hear it from me,” he whispered, standing back up. “I’m sorry. I thought saving you was important and made a split-second decision. Dinner is being served. You should eat. You’ve burned a lot of energy over the last couple days without proper nourishment.”
She didn’t say anything as he left. Damn him. Damn him to hell, to the worm-infested soils for an eternity. She snarled, baring her canines at the door then fell back on the bed, landing on her wings. Most Andinna couldn’t handle lying on their backs, but she was long used to it. Her wings propped her up enough to stay off her tail in an uncomfortable way.
“Mave?” Matesh called in. “Rain and I wanted to check in on you.”
“Come in,” she called out. As they walked in, she got back up.
Rain walked to her first and she embraced him. “I’m glad you’re okay,” he said, holding her.
“You were amazing,” she murmured back. “Seeing you in the sky was the most beautiful thing, little brother.”
“Thanks.” He chuckled, a little uncomfortable, shy even. “How are you?”
“Angry,” she admitted. “I can’t believe he did that to me.”
“He saved your life,” Mat interjected.
“I thought you would be mad with me. Now I’ll always need to be near him. Won’t that come between us?” She wanted someone else angry with her.
“Considering I’m always with him anyway, since we work together and live together, no, it shouldn’t come between us.” He reached for her. She went willingly into his arms. This was comfort to her now. Someone she trusted. Someone she cared for. He’d become surprisingly gentle over the last days, but she found it pleasant, not insulting, for the most part. She still craved to know his strength but in her new, unknown world, his gentleness was a kindness.
A gift. These two kept on giving her those.
Matesh continued after holding her for a time, “No, it’s fine, Mave. After all we just went through, I actually want to thank him for keeping you alive.”
“Come eat dinner,” Rain pleaded. “Don’t hide in here because you’re mad at Luykas. Come sit with us and talk, and we’ll tell you all about Olost and what comes next.”
“Okay. Okay, I can do that.” She pulled away from Mat to smile at Rain. She was nervous, excited, and worried about what would come when the ship made it to Olost and its free cities. She’d heard about them, but now she was going to see them.
She was free.
And alive.
She begrudgingly had Luykas now to thank for that. And Zayden, of all males, who fished her out of the ocean. And all of the Ivory Shadows, who had gone deep into the Empire to get their family and took her as well. I need to repay them for this. Somehow. I don’t have anything to give them, but I’ll find a way.
They walked out of her cabin and up some stairs, but not to the deck above. This ship was much bigger than the boat they had taken on the river. It had levels inside of it. It was like a floating building. When she could see the dining area, she saw all of the Andinna, perched on stools or leaning against the wooden walls, eating and talking.
She let Mat and Rain go first from there, following behind them slowly. She had fought and bled with these males now. It was more than she had ever done with the other gladiators. They had fought by her side for a common goal. She might have her issues with some, but that put them ahead of the other slaves immediately.
“She’s alive!” Nevyn cheered, clapping. “Amazing. Varon, look at that.”
Varon gave an exaggerated eye roll. She couldn’t resist a small laugh at the expression of the mute male.
“Welcome back to the world of the living,” Alchan told her quietly, raising his glass to her. It was a surprising gesture. She nodded back to him, mumbling a thank you.
“Aye, yer a fierce fighter, just like I always heard ya were. I’m glad to see yer not down for the count.” Bryn also lifted his drink. “Sit with me. Matty and Rain can have you back later.”
“Matty?” She tested the nickname and saw Mat’s cheeks turn red. He was embarrassed. Interesting. He’d never gotten that red blush before.
“An old lover called me that, even when I asked her not to. Bryn and Nevyn never let it go,” he explained. “Please…please don’t.”
“I’m not going to use it. It sounds…childish.” She didn’t like it. Matty. It made him sound like a boy, and she knew he wasn’t one of those. She did move to sit next to Bryn, though. He grinned at her, and she finally noticed that one of his canines was broken or filed down but not the other. It made his smile even more roguish and charming.
“Childish, eh?” Bryn laughed. “Eat. Relax. Be childish for a moment. It’ll feel good.” He pushed a plate to her. Her mouth watered at the sight of the food on it: half a roll of bread, some sort of greens, and a piece of meat.
Real food.
In front of the males, she closed her eyes and refused to let the tears of joy escape. When she felt in control, she took a fork off the table where Bryn slid it to her and stabbed into a green thing first. She loved it, almost forgetting to chew when it was in her mouth. She needed control, though. She didn’t want to seem like a starving slave or a fool.
“Ya should enjoy the food,” Bryn whispered. “No one here is going to judge ya. The slop ain’t got nothin’ on this.”
She glanced at him and remembered that he’d been a slave too. She glanced at the other males, who had gone back to their own meals and conversations. None of them stared at her, no one teased or judged.
Then she dove into the food in front of her. At one point, she held the entire piece of meat with her fork and the loaf of bread in her free hand and her mouth was full. Rain chuckled at her, pushing a glass to her.
“You might want something to drink,” he said softly. She put the roll down slowly and took a sip of the sweet and burning beverage. She wasn’t sure if she loved it or hated it. “It’s mead. Doesn’t go bad on the ship. Drink it slowly. I also have some water here for you, but fresh water is a little more precious.”
“Thank you,” she said gratefully when she swallowed the food in her mouth.
“Everyone does this,” Bryn explained. “We know what it's like. We all just got done doing the same thing, since we’ve been living off shit rations for a month. Not as bad as what ya been through, but we get it.”
She nodded, picking the roll back up and taking a huge bite of it. She appreciated that none of them thought she was a fool or gross. The food was delicious and real. It was meat and bread and whatever the green was, so
me sort of plant, obviously.
“We’ll be going back to smaller meals after this, but good old Captain Sen thought we deserved something special for our first group meal back on the ship, all reunited and alive,” Nevyn told her. “Nice, right? Sailors can cook good. We’ll be eating a lot of fish, too. Have you ever had any?”
“No,” she got out, trying to swallow the food. She took a large swallow of the mead then tried again. “No, I’ve never had fish. Sometimes I would earn a good meal in the pits, for good behavior or something, but it was only ever an unseasoned piece of meat like a steak, and a roll of bread. Water was the only drink we had down there, ever.”
“You’ll like what these guys can do,” he promised.
She wondered when she’d become part of the group. That was how it felt. They were offering her information, telling her things, saying they earned this meal for all being reunited and alive.
She felt included. What a strange feeling.
The only person who seemed down was Luykas, who sat quietly talking to his brother. Even Alchan was smiling a little, but not Luykas. She laid eyes on him, feeling a little bad. She was furious with him, but he’d also saved her life and stopped the Empress from causing her to lose this new freedom and this chance at a new life.
He looked up at her and casually tapped his chest. She wondered what he meant by it. She touched her own and felt a wave of shock.
Her chest seemed to have two heartbeats. Hers and…his, right underneath her own. She looked down at her palm on her chest and back up to Luykas.
He mouthed two words.
“Blood bond.”
She nodded, removing her hand and going back to her food. She wondered why he’d told her that right then. Maybe he noticed her own heartbeat had changed? Were they synced up now? Were their life forces bonded together as well? Now that she felt his heartbeat, she couldn’t ignore it.
I know better than to act that rashly. I really shouldn’t have thrown him out in anger. I don’t know anything about what he did, except what he got the chance to explain. I’m in a strange situation and I threw out the person trying to explain.
“Matesh, have you told her?” Leshaun sounded like an annoyed adult talking to a child.
“No, not yet. I was going to wait until after dinner to-”
“Mave, I’m going to have Matesh begin your tatua, starting with the coming of age ones. They are the ones that begin on our faces. How does that sound?”
She dropped her fork and stared at him wide eyed. This time, there was no stopping the tears that fell from her eyes, silent ones that just rolled down her plain cheeks.
“What?” She sounded like a child.
“You heard me. Tatua. Many just consider them Andinna warrior ink, and for the most part, that is what they are, most often added to warriors after a glorious battle. But some are done to mark coming of age and other rituals and rites through an Andinna’s life. You’re over a thousand years old. There’s no reason you should get back to Olost without them. No reason to make you an outsider like that. Not if you’ll be joining the Company.”
“We hadn’t told her that yet either,” Alchan said, growling at the older male. “And only if she accepts.”
“I do,” she blurted out. “I accept. Tatua. The Company. Yes.”
“Will you be able to take orders from me and Luykas?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Yes.” She wouldn’t always like it, but she could. To join the Ivory Shadow Mercenary Company seemed like her best option, honestly. Warriors like her, but also regular Andinna, respected by their people. They were offering her a place.
That was why they were all being so inclusive and friendly. They had all known she was going to be offered a position. A community.
“Told ya she would jump at it,” Bryn commented, chuckling.
“Right? I’m not even sure why it ever needed a serious discussion,” Nevyn replied, grinning. Varon signed something. “He says welcome to the Company.”
“Thank you,” she said gratefully. “Yes. To everything. I’ll follow orders. I’ll always treat this like a gift. It honors me-”
“Please stop. I get it,” Alchan grumbled, waving his hand. “You’ll see a cut of the pay after every mission. For the most part, we pool our resources. Bryn is our money guy. Varon is our priest, so if you need any spirituality help, talk to him. Nevyn is good at most arms, so he’ll oversee some of your training and make sure you’re up to speed. He’s been a soldier for most of his twenty-five hundred years.” He took a deep breath and turned to Luykas. “Your turn.”
“Leshaun and I will be handling your education. You can bunk up with Rainev or…really whoever you want. We won’t bat an eye at it. Leshaun is going to get you up to speed in Andena, with everyone’s help. I’ll be teaching you to read and write Elvasi and Common. Since you speak both, you might as well know how to read and write them.”
“Of course.” She didn’t disagree with him. The more languages, the better. Fewer things holding her back.
“We’ll both be overseeing your education as a Blackblood. You don’t need to learn how to do tatua rites or anything, but there’s precautionary training every Blackblood must go through.” Leshaun reached out and patted her hand. “You will do well, I think. You have sharp eyes.”
She touched his hand and held it for a moment, squeezing. He gave her an old, weary smile. It was the first time she’d seen it.
She turned to Matesh after that, and he gave her an arrogant smirk. “You can bunk with whoever you want,” he murmured.
“You have a one-track mind,” she noted. He was never going to let it drop, and she was slightly embarrassed that he trotted it up in front of the other males. She didn’t want anyone thinking she was a whore.
“I really do, and look, no one is trying to kill us anymore.”
“I’m going to finish eating.”
“These two fucking lovebirds,” Zayden grumbled.
Even she was laughing as Nevyn began to call Zayden a jealous shit and didn’t quit while the single father protested. She noticed that Varon leaned into Nevyn, and Nevyn had an arm around him. She immediately knew what that meant. She had seen it before in gladiators in the pits. Lovers. She wasn’t the only one on the ship who shared a bunk with someone, or planned to, maybe. That made the situation feel more comfortable.
As dinner wound down, she felt stuffed. I’m going to get fat eating like that. I’ve never had so much food.
A sailor came and collected dishes, telling all of the Company to either go out and enjoy the night air or get some sleep. The crew didn’t need their help with anything.
She didn’t want to be cooped up in her cabin, so she went up to the deck. The night air was cool and she enjoyed the salty smell of the air. It was new and refreshing, now that she had a moment to really enjoy it. Around her, other Andinna were flapping their wings, and Nevyn even jumped off the side of the ship. She held her breath and then released it when she saw him fly back into view. Alchan and Varon both jumped off as well, followed by Mat and Luykas. All of them were mostly healed already. Matesh must have slept all day to heal his wing enough to fly.
Bryn met her at the rail and leaned on it. “Ya will do that one day, too.”
“I know,” she replied, watching them fly high and dive low, letting their wings skim the waves. “How long did it take you to learn?”
“Relearn. Three months for ‘em to consider my wings strong enough to glide. Four months before my first free flight. It made me stiff for about a year, but I bet ya can do it faster, if ya put yer mind to it.”
“Really?”
“I took it slow. I was scared.”
“I’m not,” she whispered. “I can’t wait to be up there.”
“Good. During this trip, Leshaun and I will work together, teaching ya the stretches and teaching yer wings to be okay with em.” He leaned on the rail. “I’ll stay here with ya while they all play around.”
“You d
on’t have to.” She was used to being alone. She didn’t enjoy it as much anymore - Rain and Mat had changed that for her - but she was used to it.
“I don’t have to, but I want to. I know what ya feel. You deserve the Company.” He smiled at her and bumped her with his shoulder. “We gladiators got to stick together, aye?”
“Aye.” She copied him, smiling brightly at him. Small gifts. This one liked giving away small gifts, too. She craved them.
“I’m glad ya agree, considering how the others treated ya. Can I admit something?”
“Certainly.”
“I once thought of ya the same way. A long time ago, when I was also a slave. I had never even seen ya, never fought in Elliar or the Colosseum, like I told ya. But we all knew of ya. I hope ya won’t hate me for it. I wanted to get it out there now.”
“I don’t hate you for it.” She didn’t know if she could. She didn’t know the Brynec from that time of his life. He’d never tried to hurt her, never made her fear for her life. He only knew the stories of her, only knew what others whispered about. “I…I understood where the other gladiators were coming from. I get it.”
“I let go of that hate when I became free. I had a different view of things. Ya know, most don’t think yer even real, so that makes ya easier to hate or ignore. I’m glad yer real, though and better than the stories. I hope we can be friends.”
“I hope so too,” she whispered. She wanted more friends, and this rogue was proving to be much kinder and more understanding than she had ever expected. He had given her her first coin. “Oh damn the Skies!”
“What?”
“I think I lost the coin you gave me.” She sighed, knowing it was lost forever. It broke her heart a bit, to lose something so important.
He grabbed her wrist and flipped her hand palm up, pressing something down into it.
“I gave ya the wrong coin, I think, so it’s fine that ya lost it. Don’t lose this one, though.”
She looked down and saw a gold sun. When she looked up from it, he was still just giving her that roguish, friendly smile.
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