She stopped short in the path they were both travelling and looked kindly at her friend. “I did not ask what his mother’s feelings were in the situation, nor what our current agreement was. I asked how you felt, Katherine. I know that Lord Colbourne is not swayed by public opinion, but he is a man, and men are often swayed by beauty and kindness – both two qualities you have in abundance.”
Katherine looked down at her hands, uncomfortable. “I have never sought Lord Colbourne’s attentions,” she said slowly. Then she raised her head and looked at Nora with a weary shrug. “You may be trying to act as though this whole thing doesn’t matter to you, Nora, but you forget that we have been friends for a very long time. I know that you have thought well of Lord Colbourne for years. I know all the times that you made a point of meeting with him and William, and I know that – however light you are about such matters – you actually care for him. It was really of no significant matter to me, since I had never thought about him in that light; not at all.”
Nora reached out and took her friend’s hand. “And yet, I feel as though you are preparing some sort of ‘however…’”
“However,” Katherine said with a sad smile, “if I were to look at the situation without undue attachments, I could not help but see the practical benefits of making a match with such a man. He has a title, an excellent reputation, and seems to be a generally good and handsome man.”
“Yes,” Nora said quietly, taking her hand away. “I have noticed those things as well.”
“I would never pursue him, not when you and I are such dear friends and I owe so much to you –”
“You owe me nothing.”
“Regardless, I would not make the first move. But, Nora – surely you can understand how I would be inclined to entertain his interest if he were the one to make the first move. If he were to start arranging visits and meetings instead of his rather invasive mother, I cannot but be honest and tell you that I would accept his attentions.”
The two women stood in silence for a moment. Nora felt her heart tumbling away from her. She knew her cousin well enough to know that if Gerard knew how willing she was, Gerard would pursue her in a moment. She could already feel herself losing him, and yet she knew that she couldn’t hold Katherine responsible.
“It doesn’t matter either way,” Katherine went on hurriedly. “He cares for you, after all. Nora, it’s obvious. Even last night, when you were playing the piano, he seemed to be paying you particular attention. I believe he has true feelings for you.”
Nora knew that this wasn’t true. She and Gerard had spoken on many occasions about the exact nature of their momentary courtship, and as much as she had hoped he might grow to have deeper feelings for her, she had seen no evidence that such a thing could be.
“We have a relaxed agreement,” she said, not wanting to explain the entirety of their plan. “And I would understand if he were to change his mind with regards to our understanding. He seems to hold you in high regard.”
“High regard is not the same thing as real affection,” Katherine said with a smile. She looped her arm back into Nora’s, and the two continued their wandering way along the road. Nora wished she could put all her doubts out of her mind. She hated the way Katherine’s sweetness and honesty made her suddenly want to draw away from her dear friend. She was not a jealous person, and yet she found it difficult to walk arm-in-arm with the woman she knew could steal the heart of the man she cared so deeply for.
“We need not speak of it any longer,” she said quietly. “I am only thankful for your honesty.”
“Any time,” Katherine said. “I’m glad that this shall have no effect on our singular companionship.”
Nora hoped that such a thing would be true, but she couldn’t deny the ache that was building by degrees in her heart.
Chapter 20
“I was most fortunate to run into Lady Katherine yesterday,” Fanny Pembroke said as she swept into the dining room for a late supper on the heels of the rest of the family. “Do you know that I have hardly seen her or Lady Barrington these past few weeks? I’m dreadfully concerned that all their time has been taken up at the Colbourne mansion, and us their longest friends and family to add to it. You should speak to Lord Colbourne about it, Nora.”
Everyone sat down together, the candlelight illuminating an array of expectant faces. Nora felt a twinge of discomfort.
“I’m not certain when I will be seeing Lord Colbourne again, mother.”
“But he was only just here today, wasn’t he? Surely you set another time to meet?”
James looked at Nora with a quizzical brow. “I was there, and we agreed to meet him at the art gallery in the centre of town with Lady Diana tomorrow. I should be startled if you had forgotten the exchange so quickly.”
Nora swallowed hard, moving to the side to allow the footmen to lay the first course. She had not forgotten the exchange, but she didn’t want her family to grow too comfortable with the situation that now stood between her and Gerard. Today they had talked of mathematics, a subject not overly familiar to Nora, and then played a game of chess that had left her intrigued and delighted. It wasn’t until he’d walked outside with his hat upon his head and his cane in his hand that she’d felt the price of all that joy – the disappointment when it had gone at last away.
“What did Katherine say to you today?” she asked, hoping to change the subject.
“Well, she asked after you as she always does, and said that she hopes our two families can come together in some manner of friendship soon. She said that Lady Barrington has gone for a few days into the country to tend to some business, but she will be back shortly and will tell us all about the event that they’re planning by the seaside this summer.” She turned delightedly to Mr Pembroke. “Can’t we go to the seaside this year as well, Mr Pembroke? I know that we make an effort, but you always end up sending the children unaccompanied, and I think the sea air would do me so well.”
“I hardly think we qualify as children,” David said, raising his eyebrows.
William smiled. “We will always be children to Mama.” He turned to Nora. “I caught Gerard in the park just before coming home, and he gave me a letter from his little sister to deliver to you, Nora. You’re developing a fine friendship with Lady Diana, are you not?”
“We are well-acquainted,” Nora said, smiling a little at the thought of her new, sweet little friend. “I find her to be quite engaging in conversation, and you should see the little poems and stories she sends my way. I’ve never been as patient with the written word as I ought to have been, but reading her inspirations fills me with ideas for drawing and painting to accompany them. I want to encourage her to submit a few of them to the papers for publishing, but I do not think that Lord Colbourne would approve.”
“And well he would be to disapprove!” Fanny set down her soup spoon and looked at her daughter with loving severity. After all, his sister is still a young girl, and even when she grows into a woman she will need to be attending to matters of marriage and accomplishment, not scandalous publications that could get her talked about badly in the wrong circles.”
“I don’t think her name need be attached to the story,” Nora said with a half-smile. “There are women that write nowadays who publish their works under pen names and the like to avoid this public scandal you speak so distressingly of.”
“I think it’s all foolishness,” Fanny said, shaking her head. “You should use your friendship with Diana to model the actions of a true lady so her mother can be at ease with the amount of time you are spending together.”
Nora nearly choked on her soup at this turn of phrase, for the one thing she knew for certain was that the imperious Lady Colbourne did not approve in the least of her friendship with Diana. It seemed to vex her almost as much as the courtship with Gerard, although she had never said as much to Nora’s face. Still, her attitude whenever the two girls were over at her house was one of a suffering martyr who disapproved entirely of
their arrangement, and last week when they’d had tea together Lady Colbourne had manufactured all manner of excuses to interrupt and divert the conversation.
Nora was not fond of this over-involvement, although when she was tempted to be uncharitable about it, she tried to remind herself that she was not exactly an impartial party. She struggled still with the way Lady Colbourne tried to distract Gerard with ideas of the beautiful Lady Katherine, and Nora feared that her disposition to see the worst in Gerard’s mother was influenced by her increasing uncertainty about the courtship.
The next day, she dressed simply in a forest green gown with a light overcoat. There were only a few months left in the London season, and spring was well upon them. If it had been wholly proper, Nora would have gone on the adventure to the museum with no coat at all. But she knew how particular people in London were about bare arms in public places, and she restrained her yearning for summer with a proper coat and hat.
James and William accompanied her to the museum, where Gerard and Diana were already walking about looking at the various paintings on display. Nora loved this particular museum in town, for there was a painting at the back that showed the most lovely water lilies immersed in a lilac pool of water, and she felt sometimes that when she sat in front of it she could imagine it was herself in that French countryside, and her own brush was sketching the beauty onto the canvas. Today, she wandered away from the group and came to sit on the bench before the painting, taking a deep breath to let the beauty of it carry her away from the confusion around her.
Diana came too and sat quietly beside her.
“Why is it that you like this one so much?” she asked at length. “There are others by this artist that are more detailed and show more skill.”
“I do not doubt it,” Nora answered with a smile, “but I’m not sure there’s another that shows more life. Don’t you feel as though you could just stand up and walk across the room and disappear into that painting? I do, sometimes, and it fills me with a feeling of adventure and delight.”
Diana frowned confusedly. “I’m not sure I feel that way,” she said after a long moment, “but I do like it, if that matters. How do you feel about my most recent bit of poetry? Gerard said that your brother delivered it to you.”
“It was good,” Nora said with a smile. “I can see that you are keen on developing the romance element of the story, which is good. But remember that romance outside of the context and landscape can seem a bit cliché.”
“I shall add a thunderstorm then,” Diana said with a grin. “Or perhaps some manner of political intrigue.”
“If it were me, I would go for the latter, although the former will be easier to illustrate.”
Gerard came up, then. Nora knew without turning that he was in that corner of the museum. She hated that she seemed always to know where he was and what he was thinking, even when it hurt her to be so connected with him. She turned and smiled up at him, not able to help how easily he made his way into her heart.
“You are such good friends,” he said after a moment. “I wouldn’t have thought it.”
“Do you mean Nora and I?” Diana said with a smile. “How could you not have foreseen that someone as bright and kind as Nora would win her way into my heart? Why, I find myself quite lonely imagining the time when we must go our separate ways – I back to Holcombe, and you to your own estate.”
“Dearbrooke,” Nora said. “That is what our estate is called. It’s a lovely little place, and I miss the brook and the gardens dreadfully now that the fine weather is upon us.”
Diana sighed. “I suppose I miss Holcombe as well, but it can seem just as straight and tidy as London sometimes, and I don’t have any friends there as I have here. Do you not think it will be very strange leaving Miss Pembroke and going home, Gerard?” she tilted her head up to her brother, who cleared his throat and folded his hands behind his back.
“I suppose I had not considered our parting very strongly, as we still have some time left in the season,” he said after a moment.
Diana frowned. “But it will not be a real parting for us, will it?” she asked. “You will come and see us, will you not, Nora?”
At that moment there was a great rustle of silk nearby and a voice that Nora was unfortunately well-acquainted with near at hand.
“Gerard. Diana. I must speak with you at once.” It was Lady Colbourne, dressed from head to toe in dark silk, a veiled hat perched atop her frosted curls. She looked quite queenly in the elegant museum, but for the moment her only courtiers were her own children and Nora, for they were in a secluded part of the building.
“Mother.” Gerard’s face showed the surprise that Nora felt. “I thought you knew that we intended to be out all day. Have you come to join us?”
“Unaccompanied? I would not dream of it. I have the carriage waiting just outside and I’m afraid that we must make haste home. I could not wait for you to return, or I assure you I would have. It is not my fondest desire to trot out our family affairs in front of strangers.”
Nora felt the sting of that remark, but before she could say a word Diana had risen to her feet alongside Nora and protested, “Miss Pembroke isn’t a stranger, Mother. What is it?”
“I don’t know that now is the time to –”
“If it was urgent enough to come immediately,” Gerard interjected kindly, “it is urgent enough to speak here.”
“There is a problem at Holcombe that requires our immediate intervention,” Lady Colbourne said, speaking in as vague terms as she could. “I will be happy to fill you in during our carriage ride, but I think it best that you tell everyone you are closely connected with here in London that you must return at once to tend to an urgent matter at our estate, and that you will be unable to hold to your agreements for the remainder of the season.”
Nora looked down at the floor. It was as though she could see Lady Colbourne pointing at her, even though the other woman didn’t even deign to look in her direction. She was ‘the agreement’ that Gerard could not now afford to hold to.
“I’m sorry to hear this, Mother,” Gerard said. He turned to Nora, his voice gentling somewhat. “I know that this is very abrupt, and I would ask only that you exercise the discretion I have seen so many times before and share what you have heard here with no one other than your brother William.”
“She will not need such a warning,” Diana said, seizing Nora’s hands quite suddenly, “for she will be coming with us, will she not?”
Nora blinked. “No, Diana –”
“Mother, you must allow Miss Pembroke to accompany us. She is only just becoming acquainted with the family, and I’m certain you can see what a dear friend she is to me.” Diana turned to Nora. “You are hereby invited to our family home, Nora, and I will hear no more of it.”
Nora felt torn. She raised her eyes to look at Gerard and saw that he was clearly shocked, this new development only adding to the confusion of all that his mother had just shared. He turned instead to Lady Colbourne, who was opening and shutting her mouth as though she wished to protest but didn’t know how.
“I’m sure I would not wish to impose,” Nora said quickly. “Thank you for the invitation, Diana, but I would not trespass on your family’s hospitality at a time when your attention is clearly needed for an urgent matter.”
“Mother,” Diana protested, “surely you would not tell Miss Pembroke that she would be in any ways trespassing on time?”
Lady Colbourne spoke through tight lips. “I would say no such thing. Miss Pembroke – the entire Pembroke family, actually – are always welcome at Holcombe.”
“And she’ll be such a comfort to me,” Diana added quietly.
Gerard nodded crisply. “Then it’s settled. Miss Pembroke, I know that it will take a day at most for us to prepare the initial part of our journey back to Holcombe, but you are of course welcome at our house as my mother and sister have intimated.”
Nora felt even more uncomfortable at Gerard’s addition
al invitation, for while she could clearly see that Lady Colbourne did not want her presence at the family estate, she now had been effectively invited by every person in the room, and she could see no way to deny them without causing offense. Furthermore, there was a part of her that did not yet want to lose the precious moments she’d built with Gerard, and here was an opportunity to see him outside the cramped quarters of London.
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