“Then let us go there at once, and it will provide an excellent place of privacy for our discussion.”
When the carriage was at last brought to the door of the theatre, they climbed inside and settled across from one another in the dim light inside. Their faces were lit only by the passing lampposts, and the irregular light leant even more of an air of confrontation to the scene. It was Lady Colbourne who spoke first.
“I am surprised at you, Gerard,” she said softly. “You are indulging in a set of extreme theatrics, to what end I am quite ignorant.”
“Arriving at a theatre and requesting a meeting with a young lady of good standing is hardly theatrics, Mother,” he said quietly.
“It is when the lady has clearly denied your attentions and requested that your understanding be severed,” she answered back crisply. “I think it highly irregular as well that you should feel yourself entitled to use the box of another woman whose attentions you are seeking to enquire after Miss Pembroke. I can only imagine how insulted Lady Katherine must have been.”
“Lady Katherine and I understand each other perfectly,” Gerard answered, still striving to keep his calm. “There is no understanding between us, and she does not expect any attentions from me in the future.” He pursed his lips together. “That is why I wished to speak with you, in fact. I have much to discuss with Miss Pembroke, much to apologise for. But first I want to be utterly clear about my intentions for the future, and about your role – or lack thereof – in those intentions.”
Lady Colbourne sucked in her breath sharply. “It is late, Gerard. You have already made a show of staying with the youngest Pembroke boy, perhaps it would be better to discuss this in the morning when you have had a rest and are thinking more properly.”
He shook his head. “I have never been thinking more properly. Allow me to be perfectly clear with you, Mother. I am going to marry Nora, if she’ll have me. I mean to ask for her hand in marriage tomorrow morning, and if by some miraculous event she should accept me, you will have two choices. Either you will make amends with Nora and support our marriage, or I will be forced to make arrangements for you to live comfortably elsewhere.”
The light from the lamp flashed across Lady Colbourne’s face again, exposing the sharp astonishment and horror there.
“You would toss me out of your life for the sake of a woman who is not even your wife? She has turned you against me so thoroughly?” she asked, incredulous.
“Miss Pembroke has made no attempts to turn me against you, a fact that is much to her credit after the way that you have behaved,” Gerard said. “I am not threatening you with ruin, Mother. I will do all that I have said quietly and comfortably that you might continue your life in grace and ease. But I will not have you continue scheming behind my back about the woman that I have told you time and again that I love and intend to marry. My loyalty is to her first and foremost now.” His voice gentled somewhat. “I remember you and Father talking about how important it was for a married couple to act as one. Anything that destroys the bond between them must be dealt with swiftly and completely, isn’t that right?”
She stared back at him, silent, her eyes sharp and dark. He couldn’t read her expression, but he waited patiently until she was willing to share it.
“You leave me momentarily speechless,” she said, taking a deep and shaking breath. “At first, I feel shocked that my own son would turn on me in such a way. But in situations like this I find it most beneficial for the offended party to first see if they have done anything amiss. Perhaps I have been misguided…” she leaned forward, however, her tone taking on a more urgent nature. “But this is why I was fighting for you to have a good and proper wife, Gerard. I know that you are a good and proper man, and I know that you will be wholly devoted to the woman that you choose. I only want you to choose one that is worthy of that sort of devotion.”
Gerard nodded, letting his temper cool slightly.
“I know that I have already made attempts to explain this to you, but I will try again for the sake of our relationship as well as for Nora’s sake. Mother, she is the sort of woman that is worthy of my devotion. I would hope that you trusted my judgement enough on its own to believe that, but as I see that you do not I will point out that in your attempt to expose her unladylike nature you have instead exposed yourself. You have been outwardly proper, and yet have arranged discord between families that is not at all befitting of the action of a lady or of a gracious person of any origin.” He shook his head. “I know that you fault Miss Pembroke for being less than genteel, but I have found over the last months that I care not so much about what is said at a party full of people I don’t admire – I care about the heart of a person, and Miss Pembroke is intelligent and talented. More than that, she has a kind and good heart.”
His mother looked back at him with a steady gaze, but he could see a crack in her façade. Despite all that had passed between them, Gerard began to suspect that he was getting through to her at last.
“And yet,” he finished quietly, “at every turn that she has met with kindness and openness, you have gone out of your way to manipulate her and I and cause unhappiness for all involved. Lady Katherine, of whom you rightfully speak so highly, was able to recognise on her first visit to Holcombe that my heart was for another and conceded that no forced romance would take Miss Pembroke’s place. Why must you persist in your blindness?”
Now Lady Colbourne cringed visibly and pulled back again into the shadow of the carriage. Gerard reached out and drew her hand forward, pressing it gently in his own.
“I know that we have lost much over the last two years,” he said softly. “My father’s death has thrown us all into a state of chaos, and I know that it will take some time for all that to fall back into place. More than that, I know that we both miss him very much, but let me tell you that your behaviour is not like the adventurous woman who raised me. I believe the uncertainty of the past two years has forced you to cling to conventions you would not ordinarily prioritise.”
“You’re right.” The words came from Lady Colbourne’s lips as if she had been wanting to say them for some time. “I’m so sorry, Gerard. I can claim that what I did was done with the best of intentions, but I’m not certain that’s entirely true. It was as though I could only see her through the lens of what she might do to you, and now I can see that she has already done the most powerful thing of all – she has made you love her.” She shook her head, and in the darkness, tears shone on her pale face. “I wish to make amends, but it will take some time, my son, to build a relationship with Miss Pembroke after we have come to the very brink of me leaving Holcombe for good.”
“Perhaps,” Gerard said gravely, “but I would not be surprised if a good relationship is nearer than you think. One of Miss Pembroke’s many fine qualities is that she is quick to forgive, and slow to take offense. I do not know that she would have even allowed me to turn you out of Holcombe had you continued in your schemes, so kind is her heart. But tonight’s plans and conversation were not had with her prior knowledge, and so she was unable to protest.”
The carriage came to a stop in front of their mansion, but they didn’t climb out at first. They talked on, mother and son, as they had not talked in many months. Lately all their conversations had been a careful dance around Gerard’s true heart and his perceived responsibilities. But now that he could be utterly honest and accepted, he felt able to speak with his mother about his plans and hopes. When at last they moved to part, he helped her out of the carriage and asked quietly, “You have been with her these past few days, planning a trip overseas. Do you think I have a chance tomorrow?”
Lady Colbourne reached up and put a hand gently on her son’s cheek. “My dear,” she said, “if you do not have a chance with that young woman inside, then nobody does.”
Gerard watched her disappear into the house, and then turned towards David’s and the promise of morning.
Chapter 40
“Lord Colbo
urne is awaiting you in the garden, Miss Pembroke.”
Nora looked up and saw the butler standing in the doorway, looking slightly less worn than he had the day before, a small smile on his face. She stood up at once from the breakfasting table. Gerard’s arrival was earlier than expected, and yet it still seemed to Nora as though the hours had dragged back the night before and through the early morning as she awaited his arrival.
Lady Colbourne had not appeared at breakfast, but Diana heard of her brother’s visit and beamed silently as Nora slipped out of the room. Nora wished that she could feel as confident as Diana was. The night before had been strange, indeed, and with a different history she might have allowed hope to blossom in her heart, but too many things had turned out to be mirages in her relationship with Gerard thus far. In the end, the only thing that gave her courage enough to walk into the garden and meet him was the desire that was still burning in her heart to be near him, whatever the reason.
He was standing at the far end of the little courtyard, beneath a tree, his back to her. She got within a few feet of him before he spoke, without turning. “You are very quiet, Miss Pembroke, but not so very stealthy that you might sneak up on me unawares in that fashion.” He turned, eyes sparkling.
Nora came to a stop, resisting the urge to lower her eyes as she had done the evening before. If he was to address the letter she had sent him, the least she could do was look him in the eye while he did so.
“Lord Colbourne. I had not expected you here so early.”
“Had you not?” He came forward quickly and took her hands in his, his eyes looking down into her own. If she had any doubt about his meaning, it was clear to her now. There was an intensity in those eyes that made her weak in the knees. “From now on, Miss Pembroke,” he said in a hoarse voice, “I would hope that you always expect me to be in your presence as soon as it is allowed, and for as long as you bid me to stay.”
“I don’t understand,” Nora said breathlessly. “I know that you received my letter. I know that you understand the new course events must take.”
“Must they, Nora?” he asked. The use of her Christian name both shocked and thrilled her. She felt her eyes filling with tears. Gerard smiled tenderly and kissed the fingers on her right hand. “Or perhaps there is a different course of events that lies open to us. Perhaps you might consider laying aside your concerns and marry me. Please, Nora. Please agree to be my wife, for I have lain awake for these last days since I received your letter attempting to reason with why you might have thought our arrangement so unsavoury. And I can think of no just explanation.”
For an instant, Nora was almost willing to forget everything that had passed and look only to the future with the handsome, tender man leaning over her. But then she remembered the dowry and her differences with the family, and she drew away, stepping back and reclaiming her hands for herself.
“There are many explanations,” she said softly. “Some that I already told you, some that you ought to be able to see for yourself, and some that I cannot speak about, but you must trust are there.”
“Allow me to guess,” he said, stepping forward a small step and looking tenderly into her eyes. “For I do not think that I can hear your refusal again from your own lips. You believe that you are somehow unqualified to be my bride, whether out of reputation or nature. You believe that my estate requires an influx of funds that you cannot provide considering your father’s refusal of a dowry. You fear the relationship strain with my mother. Is that a solid summation?”
Nora nearly fell over, so clear and concise was his understanding of the difficulties that had been running rampant in her head for weeks.
“How do you know?” she asked softly.
“I have my sources, and I have some intuition as well.” He smiled at her.
“How can you smile so,” she said, dropping her eyes as a wave of frustration rolled over her. “Is it so very amusing to you that my heart might be so inaccessible?”
“You mistake me, dear Nora,” he said gently. “I smile as a man would smile when he saw at last a way through the wilderness and into the light. I see the obstacles, but I would counter your impression with my own. You are far more worthy than any dowry could ever be. You are kind and gentle and true despite your own opinion of your nature. And your very wildness brings a light and laughter into my life that I find I cannot live without. As for my family, they have grown to understand my desires in this matter, and my mother in particular has grown to regret her actions taken against our arrangement.”
Nora couldn’t believe it. His words seemed to float before her in a sort of fog, and she caught her breath in astonishment, holding her hand to her mouth. “You mean this?”
“Of course I do. You are the perfect match for me. And if you say no to my proposal you will not be setting me free as I suppose.” He caught up her hands again. “You will be consigning me to a prison of memories and yearning that no man should be forced to endure.”
Nora could hold herself back no longer. “I believe you,” she cried, giving herself at last into Gerard’s embrace and looking up at him with unbounded tenderness in her heart. “Yes, I will marry you Lord Colbourne. I will count myself as blessed indeed if I might spend the rest of my life in your company.”
“Please,” he whispered softly into her hair. “Might you call me Gerard?”
***
They left London early the next morning to ride for Dearbrooke. Nora had been worried about the parting and what she would say to the woman who had so long opposed their marriage. But in the end the goodbyes were strangely sweet and well met.
She embraced Diana beside the carriage and then turned to Lady Colbourne, awaiting her judgement. The older woman looked different in the morning light, gentler somehow.
“So you are going to Dearbrooke?” she enquired of Nora.
Nora nodded. “Yes. We still have to speak with my father about the proposal and gain his approval.”
Lady Colbourne pursed her lips together for a moment and smiled stiffly. “You have not been so very lucky in the past gaining a parent’s approval, have you?”
Nora looked over at Gerard, but he had not caught his mother’s words. He was still directing the last of the luggage to be loaded up for the journey. Nora turned back to Lady Colbourne, holding her head high.
“I know that I am not the first choice that you would have wanted for your son,” she said softly, “but I can promise to love him well. And if that is enough for him then it is enough for me.”
Lady Colbourne nodded slowly.
“And as for the trip,” Nora hurried on, “I am sincerely sorry to have broken it off so close to embarking. I can only imagine what expenses you have had to shoulder for naught, and so I would like the ability to pay you back for the cost of my passage. I do not mean to inconvenience you more than I already have.”
The other woman stepped forward, tentatively and with her eyes still very cautious, and reached out to offer her hand to Nora. Nora paused a moment, taken aback, and then went to place her fingers into the hand of her soon to be mother-in-law. Lady Colbourne still spoke softly, but her eyes were fixed on Nora’s face.
“My dear,” she said. “I believe I can bear the expense of your passage, considering the fact you have been willing to bear so very much on my account over the past few months. May we count this as the first steps in a possible reconciliation?”
Nora’s heart warmed to hear the words, and she pressed Lady Colbourne’s hand gently before releasing it. “I would be most honoured, Lady Colbourne.”
She turned and climbed into the carriage, only to find Gerard exchanging a smile with his mother and sister over her shoulder. When she had settled inside, with him across from her, she turned to him and asked if he had overheard the conversation.
“I will only say this,” he said gently, “I have been long looking to find the mother that I lost when my father died, and it seems you have stumbled upon her at last.”
“
She seemed quite genuine,” Nora said with a smile. “I felt humbled by her own humility and kindness. I think we may have some tempestuous moments ahead of us – I prize her wit and passion too much to deny her that – but I think that we can reach an agreement over a shared love in time.”
A Baron Worth Loving: A Historical Regency Romance Book Page 26
