by Zora Marie
Arlen nodded. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but it might help if you do.”
She hesitated. “Dorn can’t feel me this far away, can he?”
“No, and I don’t think you can project that far either.”
She nodded, then shook her head. “I don’t know where to begin.”
“How about with what had you shaking this evening?”
She opened her mouth to speak, but words escaped her. Letting out a long breath, she took a moment to collect herself. She didn’t want to talk about it, but Arlen was right. The nightmares were getting worse and avoiding them wasn’t helping. They were eating her alive. If she wanted to move forward, to get past all of this pain, regret, and anger, then she needed to talk about it.
“Jake didn’t just beat us…” She looked away, unable to hold his gaze while the memory burned a hole in her heart. Clenching her fists, she said, “I came home early from hunting one day and I caught him in the act of—” She broke off, unable to put words to the images of Jake forcing himself on Tomilin. She had tried to stop it, to defend Tomilin, but she’d failed. Had failed him in every way possible. He’d been hurt in ways so much worse than she had been and she’d done nothing to stop it. Trying wasn’t enough. Never enough.
“Of what?” Arlen asked.
Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she steeled herself for what she had to say. She had to admit it to someone. Someone had to know what Tomilin had endured as he tried to protect her. As he did protect her. Tears slid down her face as she whispered, “Jake raped him. Said it was the only use he had for him as a cripple. I couldn’t—” Her voice broke on a sob and an arm wrapped around her back, pulling her into Arlen’s side. “I couldn’t stop it. Couldn’t protect him. Didn’t protect him. I tried, I really tried, but—”
Sucking down gulps of air, she tried to calm herself enough to continue. “Next thing I know, I woke up to Tomilin crying next to me. He said I had been unconscious for a couple of days, that he had been force feeding me water and broth from what little meat we had left. He never told me what had happened while I was unconscious, but I knew I had just made it worse. He tried to convince me to leave, to let go of him, to stop fighting for him. When I refused, he made me promise I would never even mention it to Jake. That if I ever came home to it happening again that I would leave and not come home until late in the evening.”
“Did he ever—”
“No. He tried once when he was drunk, but no. Jake planned on selling me off. I was worth more unsullied, even with my strangely colored eyes.” She let out a long shaky breath. “So I did my best to be worth enough as his personal servant so he wouldn’t be able to justify letting me go. At least with him, I had Tomilin. We had each other.”
A cold breeze drifted off the nearby peaks, causing her to shiver. As Arlen pulled her closer to him, his warmth comforting in the night air, his anger ebbed away into something quiet and solemn.
“We should head back before Dorn worries. After all that running, do you want to walk back? Or would you like me to make the trip shorter?”
She heaved a sigh. She’d rather walk back on her own, but the sweat was making her cold and her muscles already quivered with exhaustion. “All right, let’s make the trip shorter.”
Chuckling, he picked her up. His strides ate up the ground. “You don’t have to sound so resigned about it.” He sniffed strongly. “But you do need a bath.”
“Are you saying my human sweat smells?”
“I’m saying sweat smells in general. Why do you think we all love our giant baths so much? Besides, a hot bath will help you keep from having leg cramps.”
15
Rina
Rina woke early the next morning when the sun was not even beginning to light the sky yet. She sat cross-legged in the bed for a long while as she stared at the forest out the window. Despite her exhaustion, the urge to get up and do something ate at her, gnawing on the edges of her senses. Usually she’d be bringing in water for the day and preparing to head out to hunt right about now.
She got dressed as silently as she could, then paced the length of the room. Jake had house rules, but no one had mentioned any here. She had no idea what she was allowed to do. Nor did she know what needed done. She opened the door a crack, checking to see if Dorn or Arlen were awake, but there was no sign of either of them. Even their bedroom door was shut. But the cups from their late-night tea sat on the table in the sitting room, their presence a silent invitation to do something. So she carefully took it all to the manor’s kitchen, doing her best not to make a sound.
There was a basin similar to the bathroom, only bigger, sunk into the counter under a window overlooking the forest. She set the tray of cups in the sink and eyed the rag and knobs for the water. She could wash them, but she didn’t know where to put them when she was done. As easy as it would be to look for where the other cups were, it felt wrong to go through the cabinets.
“Good morning,” a voice greeted from behind her.
She jumped, her heart in her throat as she turned to find it was only Fen.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”
“It’s all right. Just thought I was the only one up,” she said, not sure if she was relieved to see Fen or not. Yesterday had been sort of awkward when she’d just stared up at all those books like an idiot, and he knew she couldn’t read. It hadn’t been a big deal before because she had nothing to read—but all those books. All those stories waiting for her taunted her inability to read.
“I understand. I like the quiet of the mornings, too. But we are not the only ones up. Father is up early most mornings, but he doesn’t usually leave his study until breakfast.” Fen fidgeted, raking his fingers through his sleep ruffled black hair. “So… want to learn how to make blueberry pancakes? Or… what were you planning on doing?”
“I don’t know.” She glanced around the kitchen. She was unfamiliar with nearly everything in here. She’d seen Arlen use the sink and Dorn put things away in the cabinets, but the fire in the weird contraption along the far wall, between those cabinets, was too enclosed to cook over.
“Well, want to help me pick the blueberries?” Fen asked. “They’re best fresh.”
“Sure.” Picking berries was something she knew how to do, though she wasn’t sure she’d ever picked blueberries before. Most of the ones she’d gathered had been red or black with purplish insides.
Opening a cabinet, Fen pulled out two large bowls. “The girls are coming for breakfast, so we’ll need a lot.” He tilted his head as though debating something. “I might also eat more of them than ends up in the pancakes.” Cringing, he gave a guilty smile.
She smiled, his playful happiness brushing at her senses. She followed him out to a small pond behind the house, where a row of bushes trailed the edge of the woods.
“Have you ever picked blueberries before?” he asked as he handed her a bowl.
“Only wild berries.”
“Well, these are a lot easier. Just hold the bowl under them and brush your hand over them.” He did it and a few berries rolled around in the bottom of his bowl. “If they fall off, they’re ready. If not, then they need another day or two. Here, try one.”
He tossed one into his mouth and held out the bowl for her. Taking one, she popped it into her mouth. She’d expected to be assaulted by a sweet or sour taste like with wild berries, but she was pleasantly surprised by the pop of juice. It was sweet, but not too sweet. There was a rustle in a nearby tree and she glanced up to see an eagle perched high up in the branches.
Fen followed her gaze, then sighed. “Are you going to help or just watch?” Fen asked the bird.
Flying down, the bird changed in a flash of light. Amber was dressed in black and had a bow strapped to her back. Taking Fen’s bowl, she popped a berry into her mouth. “Just making sure you’re behaving yourself. What was it that happened the last time a girl accompanied you to a berry patch?”
Fen
’s cheeks flared red as he glared at Amber. “You’re the one who put her up to it.”
“Up to what?” Rina asked, unable to hide her amusement at Fen’s embarrassment.
“I may have dropped Darshee from Dawn Court a hint that our dear Fen still hadn’t had his first kiss.”
“You knew she wouldn’t be able to pass up the opportunity.” Fen snatched the bowl back from Amber before she could take another berry. “Father is waiting for you.”
“All right, don’t get your panties in a twist,” Amber said, sauntering past Fen before shifting back into her bird form.
Muttering something under his breath, Fen watched her fly away. Then he sighed and turned back to the bushes, his shoulders sagging.
“How does shifting work?” Rina stared at the place where Amber had shifted. She could feel a slight residue of energy where Amber had changed, it was like some of the light used in the shift still lingered.
“Hm? It’s complicated.” He picked a few more berries before continuing. “I only have one other form, so I just call on the kernel of power and I change. But Lyra told me once that those who can change into anything have to focus it or it’s hard telling what they will turn into. Apparently, they need to be familiar with the animal they pick.” He paused. When he glanced at her, their eyes met for just a moment. “Amber and Dorn would actually be better fae to ask, they each have two animal forms. Though Dorn has seldom shifted since Lyra left. They were best friends, almost as inseparable as Rye and Arlen.”
Rina nodded, unsure of what to say. She could feel Fen’s sadness.
“You were close to Lyra, too?”
“I was. She headed a lot of my training when she wasn’t busy working.” Fen glanced at the bowl he’d given her. “Go ahead and give it a try.”
She could feel there was more to Fen’s relationship with her mother, but she didn’t want to push it. He’d tell her when he was ready.
Reaching her hand out, she brushed a few berries into her bowl. It was strange how easily they fell off compared to wild berries. Popping another into her mouth, she continued working her way through the bush’s branches. Of course, the ease the berries came off with did explain the massive amount of berries littering the ground beneath the bushes. It seemed a shame that so many would go to waste.
Once her bowl was nearly full, Rina glanced over at Fen to see how much she should gather. Finding him staring at her, she asked, “What?”
“Nothing.” He looked away, plopping another berry into his mouth.
“Fen, shouldn’t you know not to lie to an empath by now?” She smiled as he blushed and looked anywhere but at her.
“I do, but Dorn lets me get away with it a lot.”
“Mmhmm. Nice way of avoiding the topic.”
Fen smiled, revealing his blueberry stained teeth.
“Just how many blueberries have you eaten?”
“A few.” Shrugging, he brushed some more berries into his bowl.
“No wonder my bowl filled up faster than yours.”
“I told you I eat more than what ends up in the pancakes,” he said with another shrug. Looking into her bowl, he added, “I think we probably have enough.”
“Perhaps if you stop eating them all.”
Fen gave a halfhearted huff. “You’re as bad as Dorn. I saw you eat a few, too.”
“A few. How many have you eaten? Half a bowl?” Rina laughed as they headed for the house, not caring that her teeth were probably just as blue as Fen’s.
Following Fen’s lead, she set the bowl on the counter, but as he moved around the kitchen with fluid ease she found she had nothing left to do. To help would be to put herself in his way.
“Give me a minute to measure ingredients, then you can help mix if you like. In the meantime, you can steal Ash’s usual spot.” He gestured to a spot on the counter.
Hopping up, she watched Fen measure and mix things in a bowl. She recognized the flower, eggs, butter, and milk. Milk. She sighed. That was something she hadn’t had since they’d killed their goat for what little meat it could give them a few winters back.
“Are those blueberry pancakes I smell?” Ash’s voice drifted in from the hallway a moment before she hopped onto the counter beside Rina.
“Good morning, Ash,” Fen said. He held out a bowl of blueberries to her, not even bothering to look up from the batter he was mixing.
“Thank you.” Ash grabbed a handful of berries. “Your father in his study?”
“As always. Amber beat you here though.”
“I figured. I let her have the short route this morning.”
“You let her have the short route?” Dorn asked as he entered, going straight for the teapot.
Ash rolled her eyes. “Fine, I lost a bet yesterday. I thought for sure you would get tired of shopping with Amber before noon and call it day.”
“So that’s why Amber was being so good.” Dorn pulled out seven cups and placed six on two trays, three each. The last one he left one on the counter. “Be a dear and take these with you when you go to see Farin.” He poured tea into each of the cups, set one next to Fen and picked up one of the two trays. “Come on, Rina, we have things to discuss,” Dorn said with a chipper tone to his voice.
“Good luck,” Ash whispered as Rina slid from the counter to follow Dorn.
She was reluctant to leave before Fen finished making the pancakes, but she knew that while Dorn had asked her to follow him in a playful way, he did actually have things to talk to her about. Perhaps it was finally time for him to sit down and teach her how to block her projections.
16
Arlen
Arlen’s side twitched as something traced a circle on top of the blanket, the light touch tickling him. “Good morning,” he whispered and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “Should we wake Rina and get started?” He knew they should, they had a lot to teach her in so little time before Trazar would come seeking answers, but he really just wanted to lie here and enjoy this moment of peace.
“She’s up. She’s been outside with Fen for a while.”
“Really? And I didn’t hear her get up?”
Dorn nodded. “She even took our cups from last night to the kitchen. Arlen, I think Rina misses having a purpose.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Her emotions this morning and yesterday.”
“Well, we need to teach her before she can really do anything.”
Dorn let out a long breath that spoke volumes about his exhaustion. Arlen rolled to his side and studied the dark circles that were slowly forming beneath his mate’s eyes.
“This morning I want you to focus on her projections, but then I want you to take a nap while I see if I can get her to shift.”
“Just keep in mind that she may have Lyra’s shifting abilities as well, which will make teaching her to shift more difficult.” Dorn sighed and sat up. “She’s so much like Lyra…”
Arlen sat up and wrapped Dorn in a hug. “She’s a lot like both of them. You know, she ran nearly to the forest’s edge last night?”
“Really? No wonder the two of you were gone for so long.”
“Imagine how far she’ll be able to go when she learns to shift.”
“We better teach her some of Rye’s old trails. They’ll keep her out of trouble.”
“We? Don’t you mean me?” Arlen laughed and kissed Dorn’s cheek before rolling off the bed. He was the one who’d help clear the paths and made obstacles to wear Rye out. These days, Farin used them the most. “Well, get to teaching.”
“Do you want tea this morning?”
“If you're making some.” He flashed Dorn a smile. “I’m going to go check in with Farin and make sure he doesn’t need anything for his meetings today.” Arlen didn’t even bother to change clothes before padding down the hall to Farin’s office.
He opened the door to find Amber was already there, armed to the teeth, as though ready for battle. She and Ash must have spent the morning gathering intel
among the spies of the other courts. Both the girls had been trained by Lyra in the arts of spying before Ash stuck to Rye like tree sap to fur. They were both natural born fighters, but Ash was the leader and Amber the loner.
“Enjoy your run last night?” Farin glanced up from a note he was reading and there wasn’t a hint of humor in his features.
“It was longer than I thought it would be, but enlightening.”
“When did you go for a run?” Amber asked.
“After you and Ash left,” Farin said. “Just be careful of letting her go that far out right now. I don’t want Lord Trazar to catch us off guard and you be the only one with her. While I would like to think he wouldn’t just abduct her, I wouldn’t put it past him.”
“I figure he’ll want to spit in your face first,” Arlen joked, though he knew Farin was right.
“Add teaching her to defend herself to your list of things to start teaching her today. Even if it takes her a while to learn to shift, I want her able to defend herself from the humans at least.”
“Already planned on it. You need anything from me for your meeting?”
Farin glanced at Amber and she shrugged.
“I let Sadoren and Sealar’s people know while I was out that you want to move the meeting to today.”
“Good. I want you to stick close to home while I’m gone. Just in case.”
“Of course, though I didn’t hear any reasons to worry yet. Even Sadoren’s spies were busy with other chatter.”
“What chatter?” Arlen asked.
“The usual. Just impending war, another so-called heir to the throne, and apparently Earth and Air are setting up a meeting to see if they finally have a matching couple.”
