by Zora Marie
“Training, handle some correspondence with our people, make sure the guards don’t need anything, stuff like that. I think I’m supposed to be practicing swordplay with Prat since Ash had to go to Mount Alar.”
“Farin mentioned warriors there, right?”
“Yes. They govern themselves for the most part and dislike the courts enough to not fight with us, but they respect my father. They’ll protect the smaller villages and border lands so we can deal with other things, if only so no one else will come in and impose themselves on them.”
“So they won’t fight, but they’ll protect us?”
Fen’s head tilted back and forth as they passed the pond. “They pride themselves on the way they treat women and children. Leaving them defenseless goes against their own code of ethics. They respect my father because of the changes he made, and the fact that he went to their elders for advice and actually took it. They won’t face any of the lords, but they’ll take out their armies and get civilians out of their paths if necessary.”
“They sound like good people to get along with.”
“That they are. It's honestly hard to believe my grandfather never got along with them. It’s not like they ask for much. They just want to be left to their own devices and have a few good traders available to them. They keep to their mountains and our people keep their distance.”
“Hm.” A part of her wished she’d been able to go along with Ash to meet these people.
“Hm? What does hm mean?”
“Nothing, they just sound like people I’d get along with, that’s all.”
“Ah. Maybe.” He stopped at the weapons shed and pulled out two long swords.
Sensing the end of the conversation, Rina wandered to the treeline in search of the perfect spot to sit and wait for Arlen. Settling against the base of a tree, Rina watched Fen go through his warm up routine. He twisted and turned until finally, he did a flip through the air. He landed with a goofy grin on his face as his gaze met hers.
She couldn’t help but smile as he picked up the sword and started an exercise routine with it too. Across from her, Arlen crested the hill. He eyed Fen as he made a beeline for her, deviating just enough to stay out of Fen’s way.
“Enjoying the view?” Arlen smirked and she huffed.
“I’m trying to learn what I can from watching.”
“I figured, which is why I recommended coming out here. Plus Dorn freaks out anytime I get near his plants.” He sat with a grace Rina was beginning to realize only older fae did. Unslinging a bag from his shoulder, he pulled out a board that he unfolded between them to reveal a map that reminded her of the one in the front of her mother’s book. It had mountains, trees, and a large body of water illustrated in black and white. “I’m guessing you’ve never played a strategy game before.”
“No.”
“Well, it is one way we teach battle strategy to our up and coming generals without putting real lives in danger.”
“Sort of like the table in Farin’s office.”
“Exactly, only we use the little figures on that one to note the movements of real troops by the thousands. This is to teach you how to move your own troops in response to others and run through mock battles.”
Rina blinked. There were a lot of little wood figures on the map in the house. “All right.” Warily, she watched as Arlen pulled out two small wood boxes and opened them to reveal several small wood figures of varying sizes and colors.
“Large ones count for ten thousand troups, medium for five thousand, and small for one thousand. These tiny chips are for your scouts, and these,” he pulled out a small disk about the size of her thumbnail, “note a lord and their heir—the two most powerful beings in a court.”
Arlen sat back and tilted his head at her. “If I use a term you don’t know, tell me. Do you want to try playing offensive, where you’re attacking your opponent, or defensive so you’re just trying to protect your land?”
“Defensive.”
Nodding, he set to work arranging the wood figures from his own box. “The middle area, denoted by this line, will be yours then. Keep in mind that the land will affect the efficiency of your defenses. Thinking of it like hunting, it’s better to hold the high ground when you shoot a wolf than be on the ground with it.” He smirked.
“Not fair! I was a little desperate. Besides, it wouldn’t have been the first time I’d taken down a predator in less than favorable circumstances.” She noticed his questioning head tilt but continued, “I understand what you’re saying though. It’s easier to go down hill than up. You can also use natural pinch points to your advantage.”
“Exactly. Set up your army in response to mine.”
“What do the different colors mean?”
“We’ll get to that once you’ve mastered how to work with what we call a perfect army, where you’re not lacking warriors with certain skills.”
“All right.” She chewed her bottom lip as she matched up her forces against Arlen’s.
So began a long day of having her army wiped off the board over and over again. She’d win one battle, only to have Arlen come up the other side and wipe out her forces while hers were stuck in terrain and too far away to help. On larger battles he’d describe the move of his people and she’d have to describe her counter attack. Each time he took one of her figures, she thought of the map in Farin’s office and the lives the little pieces of wood represented. One hundred thousand warriors killed over and over again, her lord and their heir dead. Other than the lords, none of these battles even accounted for magic, only physical weapons, and she still couldn’t protect her territory. By the end of the day frustration gnawed at her and her head was pounding, demanding she give up. Demanding she stop killing off her own people.
38
Fen
Fen woke earlier than usual the next morning and could feel that Rina was awake, her worry gnawing at the edges of his senses. But she was further away than usual. Where is she? His heart raced and he sat up at the realization that she was at the back of the house, not in her room. He slid a shirt on and shadow walked past everyone’s rooms to keep from waking them.
“Rina?” he asked as he stepped out onto the back porch.
She sat on the edge of the deck, her back to him. “Hey Fen,” she whispered. “Sorry if I woke you. Dorn asked me to stay close to the house.”
A slight shift of feathers caught his attention. He glanced up to where Kender sat perched on the roof in hawk form. As Fen gave the warrior a nod of thanks, he couldn’t help but wonder when Kender slept.
“Does Dorn know you’re out here right now?” Fen asked as he sat down beside her.
She shrugged, her eyes on the moon. “I was trying not to wake him.”
“If you want to be alone, I can go back inside.”
“No.” A flash of her fear and sadness lanced through his heart. “Stay, please.”
“All right. I’m not going anywhere unless you send me away.”
“Fen, I…” She trailed off and a mix of conflicting feelings washed over him, all of them hers.
“It’s all right. I told you before that I understand you need time, but I’ll be here for you no matter what you decide. So what’s got you out of bed before dawn?”
“Nothing…Everything. I don’t know anymore. I just miss Tomilin. We didn’t get to spend much time together during the day, but he was always there when I came home from hunting and foraging. Sometimes, when neither of us could sleep, we would sit up on our sleeping mat and talk.” Rina made a series of hand gestures, speaking in a silent language. Then she sighed and hugged her knees to her chest.
Her emotions made him want to do the same as they washed through him. They made him want to rage and cry. Shadows creeped out around him. Afraid they’d make her uneasy, he smothered them. “I wish I could have met him if only because you love him so much.”
“He would have loved to have met all of you, too. He was always wanting to meet people. I wish I could’
ve gone into the town for him…”
“Well, I’m glad you didn’t as we may have never met if you had. Father always said that the past may hurt, but without it, you may not be where you are today. I know it doesn’t change anything, but I’m glad you’re here.”
Her gaze drifted from the moon to the dark forest beyond the main yard. Her agitation swelled within him, crawling like ants beneath his skin, searching for a way out.
“Rina?” He reached for her, but she slid away. “What’s wrong?”
“What if I mess it all up? What if I get people killed—get you killed?” She got up and began to pace. The anguish and anxiety in that question alone threatening to rip Fen apart. “I can’t—I never should have come here. What were they thinking, making a prophecy about a person who grew up as a poor human becoming queen? I wasn’t raised for this. Wasn’t trained for it.”
“Rina. Just breathe.” He reached for her. “These things take—”
“Don’t touch me,” she snarled, canines bared.
Reeling from the rejection, Fen staggered back a step. It wasn’t until the blinding flash of light faded and he caught a glimpse of her disappearing into the forest that he realized his mistake. He’d pushed her when she’d needed space, yet he couldn’t leave her alone with those thoughts. Couldn’t let her risk her life running off by herself.
Racing across the grass on bare feet, he shifted to his panther form and sprinted after her. With every stride he reached a little further, fighting for every inch he gained. Rina was fast, he could just make out her form as she twisted around a tree, thick black tail whipping out to counterbalance her.
Warmth filled his chest at the realization that she’d chosen to shift into a panther like him. He pushed a little harder, determined to run with her. Her right turns were a little off and he wondered if her ribs had healed yet. Wafren could do a lot with her magic, but unless the patient wanted to be cut open so salve could be jammed between the bones, they had to heal the old fashioned way.
As if just realizing her own pain, Rina slowed to a limping trot, sides heaving. Light caught on the drool in the corner of her mouth and his gut twisted up at the sight as his own breaths heaved. She’d pushed too hard for too long. Glancing around, he realized they were way too far from the house. Leaning into her good side, he guided her around until they were headed back toward home.
Rina swayed against him before coming to a sudden halt. He shifted, reaching out to steady her as she sat. “You All right?”
Huffing in his face, she rested her chin on his arm—consequently wiping her face on his sleeve. Her emotions were still a buzzing mass in their bond, but at least they weren’t all consuming anymore. “Want to talk about it?”
She made a little hissing chirp before huffing again.
Fen smirked. “Yeah, that’s a drawback of animal forms.”
Curling her lip at him, she staggered back to her feet and continued back toward the house.
“All right, one tail tap for yes and two for no.” He waited for her tail to tap his leg and couldn’t help but laugh when she tapped him twice. “Not in the mood to talk then, I take it?”
One tap.
“Three questions then, your ribs hurting?”
One tap.
“How about your head?”
A pause, then a hesitant tap.
“Do I need to call for Wafren?”
Two taps.
“All right, you can lean into me if you need or just want to.” Shifting, he fell to all fours and snuggled up to her side. The more pain slowed her, the more he wished there was something more he could do to help. As they neared the house, a new question crept into his mind. Why was she up so early in the first place?
39
Fen
Rina slept curled up next to him, her tail hanging over the edge of the couch. He wasn’t sure why she had chosen a panther, but he loved that she had. He had to resist the urge to boop her cute little nose. Now he understood how his father always felt watching him sleep, and why he had in fact woken up to a nose boop many times growing up.
Fen wanted to talk, to assure her that he didn’t care about any of that other stuff. She didn’t need to know everything right now, he could carry the brunt of the work while she learned. But Rina had climbed onto the couch and nodded for him to join her. She had felt so tired and lonely through the bond that he couldn’t help but lie down next to her. He’d purred in comfort until her breaths had evened out and she’d drifted off to sleep.
Her whiskers twitched as she slept. Her black fur gleamed in the moonlight coming through the window behind the couch. She was slenderer than he or his father was. Yet she was bigger than most of the female panther shifters he’d seen; granted, there weren’t a lot of them. Wolves, raptors, and foxes were the most common, and it wasn’t like they all gathered in their animal forms.
She felt more at ease now than she had the last few nights and some hopeful, selfish, part of him wondered if it had anything to do with him. Eyes growing heavy the longer he purred, sleep soon pulled him under.
Fen woke to the feeling of his father’s power lingering nearby. He wasn’t sure when he had dozed off, but he opened his eyes to find Rina had nuzzled closer to him in her sleep, her head now pressing against his neck. Farin stood in the doorway, watching them. Cocking his head, Fen glanced at Rina to say he didn’t want to wake her.
“Dorn’s almost done with breakfast if the two of you would like to join us,” Farin whispered and Rina’s ear twitched at the sound. His father smiled and disappeared down the hallway.
Sighing, Fen nuzzled Rina’s cheek to wake her, purring as she stirred. She yawned and pawed the sleep from her eyes, then paused to stare at her paws. He wondered what she thought about waking in this form for this first time. Stretching, he slid from the couch, then shifted.
“Breakfast is almost ready. Are you going to shift and join us, or should I find you some raw meat?” A grin pulled at his lips as she glared at him, her eyes narrowed. He’d only eaten raw meat a few times. It had been part of Rye’s and Arlen’s training to ensure he could survive in his panther form should he need to. But he was definitely not a fan of it, even if it wasn’t as slimy as he thought it would be.
Sliding down from the couch, Rina yawned, baring her fangs for just a moment. As soon as her mouth closed, she shifted. And ended up plopping her butt onto the floor.
He stifled a chuckle as she glared up at him. He had forgotten how difficult it was to learn to stand up on two legs while shifting. Going from two to four legs was far easier.
“I find it helps if, as you pull on the magic, you bounce up on two legs.” Fen offered her a hand. “The first few times you might want to do it outside on the grass. I’ve been told that I faceplanted a few times. Granted, I was pretty young and not very good at walking in the first place.”
“I suppose it was a good thing I was already on the ground then.” Rina took his hand and pulled herself to her feet. Their eyes met, and she stilled in the way only fae could. “Thanks for understanding.”
When she looked away, Fen squeezed her hand. “I may not always understand, but I will always try to and I will be here for you.”
“Thank you, Fen.” Returning his light squeeze, she nodded toward the door. “We should head to breakfast. Unless you’d like to get dressed first?”
He looked down at his bare feet. He hadn’t realized Rina had been fully dressed when he’d found her sitting on the back porch. He had to wonder if she had been planning a walk in the woods by herself from the beginning, or if she’d just been being cautious. When he looked back at her, she was smiling. He loved that smile and the hint of mischief in it.
“You know, I can get Arlen to move down a seat if you would like to sit next to me?”
“Aren’t you afraid Ash and Amber will tease you?”
“If it’s not that, they’ll find something else to tease me about. It’s when they’re not teasing me at all that I get concerned.”
Rina gave a little laugh and pulled him toward the door. “Good, then you’re used to it. Come on, before they start without us.”
Her emotions told him she was forcing the playfulness the slightest bit. But he wouldn’t mention it because the longer she smiled, the quieter the sadness seemed to get.
40
Rina
Rina felt lighter as she headed to breakfast with Fen. She was done dwelling on the past. Sure, she still missed Tomilin and probably always would, but she couldn’t risk pushing everyone away. Besides, it felt good to joke around. She and Tomilin hadn’t been able to do it nearly enough, but she could now, for both of them. When they reached the kitchen, Fen pulled her to a stop and poked his head through the door. Arlen and Dorn had their back to them, grabbing the last bowls of fruits for the table. With a mischievous grin Fen nodded at their seats. Ash, Amber, and Farin were already at the table.
They rushed to their seats on tiptoes, earning amused smirks and raised brows from the others. Rina had barely slid into Arlen’s seat when he came up behind her and hummed a note of disapproval. “Turn my back for a minute and you steal my seat?”
“You weren’t using it, were you?” Rina looked up at him.
Arlen’s head cocked to the side as he evaluated her challenge to play. “I was going to.”
“Oh, hush and take mine.” Dorn set the last bowl on the table. “Breakfast will get cold.”
“Fine.” Arlen played at being a petulant child as he sat and pouted with his arms crossed.
“All right, I feel I’ve missed something.” Amber glanced between her and Fen, and then at Arlen and Dorn.
“Really? You missed something?” Fen propped his elbow on the table and leaned into it. “That can’t be so. You never miss anything.”
The corners of Farin’s mouth twitched as he did his best not to turn toward Amber, who was pinning him with a glare.