“Um ... just about anything.” Panic licked at my heart as I shifted my gaze to Eliot. “This is your fault!”
He didn’t look sorry in the least. “It will be good for you.” He pushed himself away from the jamb. “You need something to distract you from everything that’s happened. I can’t think of anything better than spending the day with your best friend and the miracle of birth.”
There was an argument among those who knew me best about whether or not I could murder someone. Right now, looking at the man I shared a bed with every night, I knew I could put that debate to rest. Murder was definitely possible. “You cannot just leave me with Carly all day.”
“Actually, I can. I think this will work out great.” He strolled over to me and dropped a kiss on the top of my head. “Have fun. If you need anything, give me a call.”
With those words he was gone and I was left with the worst possible bonding exercise in the history of the universe.
I FELT OUT OF PLACE IN CARLY’S birthing class from the moment I walked through the door. I wore my “Hex the Patriarchy” shirt because I was feeling fairly annoyed by men — Eliot being at the top of my “Make Him Pay” list — and all eyes turned to me as I found a spot on the floor next to Carly.
The woman running the class told everyone to call her Pansy — like that was a name — and boasted one of those smiles that seemed to indicate she was probably a closet sociopath.
Carly was excited as she waved to other people in the class. She almost glowed she seemed so happy, which I found distracting because she’d been nothing short of obnoxious since getting pregnant. She was a walking, talking complaint machine up until this moment, and because I wasn’t feeling particularly happy, this newfound joy grated.
“Why do I even have to be here?” I groused as I struggled to get comfortable on the mats. “Isn’t this Kyle’s job?”
“Kyle is at work,” Carly reminded me, smiling at mention of her husband. “It’s the middle of the day.”
“Then why did you pick a class in the middle of the day?”
“I figured this would be a way for you to see what you’re in for given you’re going to be in the birthing room with me.”
Yeah, I didn’t remember agreeing to that. “Why would you possibly want me with you? I’m no good in situations like this.”
“Actually, you’re much better than you pretend.” Carly kept her tone even. It was as if she knew I was trying to pick a fight and refused to engage. “Today is an easy day. We’re just watching films.”
“Films of what?”
“Births.”
My heart did a long, slow roll. “I’m sorry ... we’re watching films of other people giving birth?” I cringed when she nodded. “Why would anyone ever want to watch that?”
“So we know what to expect.”
“Shouldn’t you have known what to expect before you let him plant his seed in you? I mean ... it’s irresponsible if you didn’t.”
“Oh, stuff it.” Her smile never wavered. “Seriously, these videos are amazing. I was afraid to give birth until I saw two or three of them. Well, maybe it was about the tenth one before I started warming up to the idea. Now I’m excited for the whole process. You will be, too.”
I very much doubted I would ever be excited at the prospect of watching a woman squeeze a cantaloupe out of something the size of a kiwi. “Listen ... .”
“No, you listen.” She shook her head, firm. “I know things aren’t going well for you right now. I know you’re upset and trying to wrap your head around your place in the universe.”
That was an overblown reading of the situation if I’d ever heard one.
“I know that you feel as if you’re at a crossroads and you’re wondering if somehow you’re to blame for what happened to Tad,” she continued. “You fought with him in public and now he’s fighting for his life. Even though you hated him, you can’t help but wonder if you set something in motion when you made him look like a fool. I know the way your mind works.
“Once you calm down a bit you’ll realize that whoever is setting you up is good. But you’re better. This video will help you see the ... possibilities ... in life. You’ll feel energized when this is all over. You’ll be ready to take on the world.”
She sounded sure of herself.
“Fine.” I threw up my hands in defeat. “I’ll watch your stupid movie. I guarantee that I won’t like it, though. All this film is going to make me want to do is never have sex again. I’m mad at Eliot, so it’s the perfect movie to watch. That’s the best I can do.”
“I’ll take it for now. Trust me. This is going to be a life-changing day.”
That’s exactly what I was afraid of.
11 Eleven
The horror that was Carly’s birthing video is hard to explain.
Imagine being in a sleeping bag. Sure, camping is the ultimate worst. I mean ... who wants to sleep under the stars on purpose? Nobody I want to hang around with. Still, if you have to do it, having a good sleeping bag is imperative.
Then, once you’re comfortably zipped in your sleeping bag, imagine a serial killer wanders over, picks you up while still in the bag and bashes you against a tree. That actually happened in a Friday the 13th movie and it has always stuck with me. The images from the birthing video were much the same.
“Stay. Away. From. Me.” I extended a finger and circled Carly in the parking lot, my eyes narrow slits of hate. “I am traumatized.”
“Stop being so dramatic.” Carly tried to fold her arms across her swelling breasts and settled for resting them on top of her huge stomach. “Tell me that wasn’t the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen.”
“That was the most horrific thing I’ve ever seen,” I shot back. “I’m saying that as a person who has seen all the Hellraiser movies ... and at least three of the Sharknado movies ... and another flick in which Paris Hilton tried to be a serious actress. You have officially ruined my life.”
Instead of reacting with sympathy, Carly rolled her eyes. “Birth is a miraculous thing. I can’t wait to share it with you.”
Okay. I was officially at my limit. “Are you a pod person now? Has an alien being crawled inside of you, hollowed you out, and taken over what used to be my friend? That’s the only explanation I can come up with, because the real Carly would never be this excited about squeezing a human being out of a tiny little tunnel!”
I yelled the last part so loudly that several people exiting the building — most of whom I recognized from Carly’s class — looked in our direction and frowned.
“Don’t mind her,” Carly called out, offering a dismissive hand wave. “She’s just a little excitable. She can’t help herself. She’ll be better once the baby is here.”
That was unlikely. “No, I will not,” I hissed, keeping my voice low so as not to draw further attention. “I most certainly will not be better when you have the baby. Do you want to know why?”
“Absolutely.” Carly’s smile never wavered. “I would love to hear how you think that having a baby will ruin my life.”
I was taken aback. “I don’t think that’s what I said.”
“Oh, but you’re thinking it.” Her annoyance was palpable. “You believe that having a baby will ruin my thighs ... and my stomach ... and my breasts. You think Kyle and I will never have another chance for romance because of a screaming infant.
“You think that I’ll perpetually have bags under my eyes because new mothers never sleep, and since this kid has half my genes it’s bound to be more difficult than usual,” she continued. “You think that I’ll have no time for you because we both know darned well you won’t hang out with a baby, which means I’ll be cut out of your life but you’ll blame it on me. That’s on top of the fact that I have no interest in breastfeeding and my mother-in-law thinks that makes me a terrible mother. Say it!”
My mouth dropped open as the reality of her words washed over me. “Well ... that was a mouthful,” I said after a beat.
> Her expression darkened.
“Oh, don’t look at me that way,” I said finally. I thought I was going to unload my unhappiness on her, but it turned out she had her own mountain of worry to contend with. “I’m suspected of shooting my former boyfriend — who is now my arch nemesis — and have been suspended from my job, which happens to be the only thing in the world I’m good at. My life is worse than your life right now.”
Despite the tense situation, the corners of her mouth tipped up. “You’re afraid.”
“Yeah.”
“You don’t have to be. You’re Avery Shaw. You’ll get through this like you do everything else. You’ll find out who is framing you, win the day, and then do a rhythmless dance in front of your enemy while singing a terrible song to mark your triumph.”
She knew me so well. “And you’re going to be a good mother. Ignore your mother-in-law. We’ve already decided she’s a Kardashian in disguise, which means she’s ultimately the Devil. Her opinion doesn’t matter.”
“I know, but ... what about the stretch marks?”
And that was obviously the root of her worry. “You’re good at your job and make a lot of money. You can always have the stretch marks lasered away.”
She brightened considerably. “Good point. What about you and me, though? You’re not going to hang around a baby and we both know it.”
“No, but there are babysitters.” I shot her a rueful smile. “You have enough money to pay for endless babysitters. Once the kid is a few years old and can hold up his or her head and start repeating naughty words, I’m actually going to want to hang out with it. This is only a temporary situation.”
“I guess.” She rubbed her forehead. “Be honest. You thought the birthing video was miraculous, right?”
“No.” I vigorously shook my head. “I’m going to have nightmares, which means Eliot will have nightmares. You’ve totally fouled up our sleeping schedule for at least a week.”
“That’s kind of exciting, huh?”
“If you say so.” I blew out a sigh and rested my hand on her shoulder. “You’ll always be my best friend. You’re the only person I know who is as bitchy as me and doesn’t try to hide it. A baby is just going to be ... a new adventure.”
“Do you think?”
“Yeah.”
“Then that won’t be so bad.” She swiped at her cheeks. “Do you want to go back inside with me? There’s another class getting ready to start and they’re showing another film.”
“Absolutely not. I would rather die.”
That was enough to get a laugh out of her. “Then what are you going to do? I promised Eliot I would stick with you until you were out of your funk. Are you feeling better?”
“I don’t think ‘better’ is the right word. I’m feeling more ... determined. I was lost for a bit this morning. I don’t like feeling lost. But I’m more focused now.”
“What are you focused on?”
“I’m going to find out who framed me. You’re right. That has to be my priority.”
“And how are you going to do that?”
“Honestly? I’m thinking I might break into Tad’s house to see if I can find anything.”
Carly worked her jaw. “Do you think that’s a good idea?” she asked finally. “What if you get caught?”
I shrugged. “I have to start somewhere. This might not be about me. I might’ve simply made an attractive scapegoat. It’s definitely about Tad, so I need to learn more about him — even though the notion makes me want to gag.”
Her lips curved up. “Do you want me to take you? It might be helpful to have a pregnant woman as a sidekick. If we get caught we can always say that I had to go to the bathroom or something. Men fear pregnant women. It might work to our advantage.”
It was an intriguing offer but I couldn’t put Carly in harm’s way. “No. I think I’d better go on my own. This is something you can’t help me with. Stay and watch your horror movie.”
“Birthing video.”
“Same difference.”
She leaned forward and gave me a hug, which caught me off guard.
“What was that for?” I asked finally, pulling back. We weren’t huggers in general. “You’re not like ... turning into a chick, are you?”
Her grin broadened. “No. I just felt like reassuring you. I can tell you’re upset. I want you to know that I have faith in you. Everything will be okay.”
Her simple statement — which Eliot had been repeating nonstop — had a lump forming in my throat. “Um ... thanks for that.”
“You’re welcome.” She held my gaze for a beat and a lifetime of emotion passed between us before we both pushed ourselves away from one another. “How are you going to get to Tad’s house? You don’t have a car.”
“No, but I have an Uber app.”
Horror flashed across her features. “What if your Uber driver is a rapist?”
“That rarely happens.”
“Still.”
“Then I’ll stab him to death with my keys. I’ve been looking for someone to fight with all day. A murderous Uber driver would be just the ticket.”
“Oh. Smart thinking.”
MY UBER DRIVER, DEL PINKSTON, had a lot of energy for a guy with three jobs who was also going to school part time.
“I want to be a lawyer,” he announced as he cut his way across town. He seemed to know the back streets relatively well, good for me, because I was trying to avoid running into any and all cops on this little excursion. “It’s going to take me a long time to work my way through school.”
He looked to be about twenty-three years old, but it was hard to tell because he was tall, lanky, and a bit goofy. He had an infectious smile. Plus, he drove an older model sedan unlikely to draw the attention of anyone watching Tad’s house.
“That’s a noble goal,” I commented as I stared out the window. “Do you want to be a prosecutor or defense attorney?”
“Divorce attorney. They make all the money.”
“They also deal with a lot of headaches.”
“That’s okay. I don’t mind headaches.” He pulled onto the street that led to Tad’s house. “This is a nice neighborhood. How much does it cost to live here?”
“I have no idea.” I narrowed my eyes as I scanned the vehicles lining the streets. “I don’t live here. I live out in Macomb Township.”
“Oh, yeah?” He flicked his eyes to mine in the rearview mirror. It always felt weird to get in the backseat of a regular car, but it was easier than sitting in the front, where I might have to make eye contact. “Are you visiting someone? A boyfriend perhaps.”
“No. I ... .” I broke off and focused on a black car. A man sat in the driver’s seat watching the front of Tad’s house. “Pull to the next street, and make sure you park out of the way so nobody can see you.”
“Park out of the way?” Del kept driving as I slouched low. I didn’t want to draw the attention of the man, who I was certain was one of Jacobs’ guys. “I don’t understand.”
“It’s hard to explain.” I held my breath as he turned the corner. He drove a good fifty feet down, until we were obscured by trees, and then pulled to the side of the street and put his car in park. “Are you a spy or something?”
The question caught me off guard. “Not last time I checked. I did always fancy myself a Sydney Bristow in the making, though. I think I would’ve made a fabulous CIA agent ... other than the jumping from buildings and flying helicopters thing. I don’t think I’d be good at that.”
“Yeah.” Del’s expression was hard to read as he turned to me. “You look familiar. I’m trying to place you but I can’t.”
Uh-oh. The last thing I needed was Del figuring out where he might’ve seen me. “I guess I just have one of those faces.”
“I guess.” He didn’t look convinced. “Is this okay for me to drop you off?”
“Absolutely.” I dug in my pocket for cash for a tip. “Thanks for everything.” I handed him a twenty and pushed open
the door. “I hope you make it through school. You’ll make a great divorce lawyer.”
Del’s eyes lit up at the sight of the tip. “Solid. Um ... are you going to need a ride back? If so, I can hang around for a bit. I have some studying to do for a test.”
Well, that was an interesting thought. It couldn’t hurt to have a ready wheel man just in case. “If you want to stay, that would be great. I shouldn’t be more than thirty minutes.”
“Awesome!”
I WAS FAMILIAR ENOUGH WITH TAD’S PROPERTY to know that a narrow alley led behind the houses on his row. I’d spied on him numerous times. That was different from breaking and entering, of course, but I figured the alley was the way to make my approach.
His backyard was fenced, but there was a gate. He didn’t bother locking it. The only thing keeping people out was a rusty latch. I’d thought ahead about fingerprints and pulled the shark mittens from my hoodie. They were mostly so I could put on puppet shows for Fish when I didn’t like an assignment he doled out. I made the sharks act out my aggression.
I paused before opening the gate, unease washing over me. What if I never got to perform another puppet show again? What if I never got to break another story? What if I never had the chance to ruin another political career?
Reality was harsh and I was momentarily overwhelmed as the thoughts invaded my mind. Then I remembered I was Avery Shaw. The answers were out there for me to find. I had to be my own hero this go-around, a role I happened to relish. This time would be no different.
Tad’s house was quiet as I approached from the backyard. If someone was inside, odds were they’d already seen me. I was still baffled about why Jacobs hadn’t taken me into custody when he found the gun in my car. He’d barely questioned me. Of course, for all I knew, Jacobs was playing a game with us. I wouldn’t put it past him. If he was inside right now, though, it was already too late. While I hadn’t yet broken any laws, I was about to break into Tad’s house.
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