Stubborn woman.
Which brought back to consider the question of those missing years. Megan’s words tumbled through his mind and…finally Jake understood.
Walking briskly up to Martin’s office, he barged in without knocking. “Find out where Megan Carmichael had cancer treatments during those missing years,” he ordered, furious with himself for not realizing that she might have been sick.
And that she’d needed him during those treatments! Damn it! She’d been sick and holding onto that stupid bear instead of him! He would have been there every second! He would have held her hand during the treatments and then held her while she recovered. He knew that chemotherapy was like taking a stroll through hell.
Martin stared wide-eyed at Jake, but Jake wasn’t in the mood. Pacing across the carpet, Jake ran a hand through his hair, sifting through what he now knew and holding his misconceptions up to the past, trying to make sense of everything.
Pacing back and forth in Martin’s office while the man typed away furiously, Jake thought back to those times. Over and over, he’d pictured her in someone else’s arms, in another man’s bed. Or just moving on with her life without him.
“Son of a…!” Martin muttered. A moment later, he printed out some papers and snatched them off his printer. Quickly, he scanned through the information before he handed the papers to Jake. “I’m so sorry, Jake. I was looking for criminal activities. That’s just the way my brain works. It never occurred to me that she would have been at the Mayo Clinic dealing with this kind of nightmare.”
Jake read through the papers and his gut clenched just thinking about Megan going through all of this alone. “This kind of cancer is a death threat for most people,” he replied, raging emotions roughening his voice. “I’ve read about it and I know that there are some new treatments but…it’s rare and…” He shook his head. “Megan. What the hell!”
“I can get more information if you give me more time,” Martin assured him.
Jake shook his head, still reeling. Not sure what to say or do or…think! “No. This solves the mystery. I understand now.”
Martin stared at Jake, both men stunned as the truth sank in. “She went away because she wanted to hide her cancer from you?”
Jake took several deep breaths. “No. She went away because she wanted to keep me from the pain of knowing. That’s just the way she is and I damn well should have considered that.”
Without another word, Jake walked out of Martin’s office.
“Jake!” Jackson called out from the other end of the hallway.
Jake stopped, but only because it was his brother. Anyone else and he would have told them to go to hell. He needed to find Megan and talk to her. Hold her. Hell, he needed to take her to a doctor and hear that she was okay. That she was healthy!
Because if she wasn’t…! Hell, if there was any risk, he wasn’t letting her out of his sight!
But she was out to lunch with her mother, he thought. Damn! He needed to talk with her, confront her and hear from her why the hell she’d hidden this from him!
Jackson walked right up to Jake, took one look at his brother’s eyes and took his arm. “My office,” he snapped and pulled Jake through the doors. “Cancel my meeting,” he told his assistant, then slammed the door and turned to face Jake.
“What’s wrong? Did she leave again?” Jackson growled furiously. “Damn it! She’s right in the middle of the project. If she’s gone, I’m going to sue her ass and she’ll never…”
Jake stopped his brother in mid-rant by simply handing him the handful of papers. Jackson looked down at the information, his eyebrows drawing together. When he’d read through the words, he looked at Jake, then read the words again, his mouth hanging open in horrified understanding.
“You have cancer? This kind of cancer?” Jackson’s face was dead white. “We’ll get you help,” he said immediately. Walking over to his desk, he picked up the phone. “I’m calling Mom and Dad. They’ll know the best doctors and we’ll…”
“Stop.” Jake was warmed by his brother’s instant support and concern. This is what Megan hadn’t had. She’d kept everything from him and had been left to deal with this without someone to talk to. “I don’t have cancer, Jackson.”
His brother closed his eyes in relief, his shoulders deflating. “Thank you, God!” A moment later, he opened his eyes and glared at his brother. “So, if you don’t…”
Jake waited, knowing that his brother would connect the dots. “Megan,” Jake filled in as understanding flooded Jackson’s face. “That’s why she left me. That’s why she dropped out of school at the end of her first semester of college.” Jake started pacing the length of Jackson’s office. Now that the initial shock and horror were over, anger was kicking in. And that felt a hell of a lot better and easier to handle than the pain of thinking about Megan going through all of that alone. Anger he could handle. Pain, not so much.
“She hid it from me. She didn’t want me to know about it.”
Jackson knew where his brother was going. “Because she needed her parents?”
Jake swung around, his grey eyes now a furious silver. “No. Because she didn’t want me to know. She didn’t want me to be there for her. She wanted to handle all of this on her own.”
Jackson’s eyes narrowed with that news. “That doesn’t make sense. Why would she hide it from you? I thought you two were close.”
“I did too.” He shook his head, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “No, I know she loved me. But she didn’t know how I felt about her. I never told her. So, why would she tell me devastating news?” he demanded rhetorically, throwing his hands in the air as he resumed pacing. “Why would she tell me something that could change her life? Hell, this kind of cancer might have taken her life away and I wouldn’t have known a damn thing about it!” Jake was yelling by the end of that last statement, so angry he could barely see straight.
“Have you talked to her about it?”
Jake took several deep breaths, trying to calm down. “No. Her mother showed up and took her out for lunch.”
“I thought her mother lived in Illinois. What’s she doing here?”
Jake’s heart tightened. “A good question,” he said, his voice now ominously low. “I swear, Jackson, if she’s hiding something again, I’m going to…”
Jackson’s eyebrows went up with curiosity. “That’s going to be an interesting conversation.”
Jake glared at his brother, annoyed that his twin would tease him at a time like this.
“Take it easy, baby brother.” And he rested a comforting hand on Jake’s shoulder. “Think. Is Megan showing any symptoms? From what you’ve told me, she’s been a dynamo in the lab the past few weeks. The project is ahead of schedule and she’s been working her pretty butt off.”
Jake glared at his brother for a long moment before he said, “First of all, don’t you ever look at Megan’s butt again. That woman is going to…” he stopped, shocked at where he was going with that thought. Jackson was equally shocked, even letting out a low whistle as they both understood where Jake’s mind had gone.
“And the second thing?” Jackson prompted softly, a wicked grin growing.
Jake recovered quickly, glowering at his brother. “And secondly, I need to talk with her and…!”
“And?” Jackson prompted when Jake stopped speaking.
Jake ran a hand over his neck, frustration, confusion, anger, and a bunch of other emotions hitting him all at once. “Hell, I don’t know.”
Jackson put a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Tell her that. Talk to her.”
Jake intended to do exactly that. As soon as she came back from lunch!
Chapter 9
Amy put a hand on Megan’s, stopping her fidgeting. “Honey, what’s going on?” she asked gently.
The waiter arrived, filling their glasses with ice water. Megan didn’t want water. She wanted…Jake! She was scared out of her mind and all she wanted was to tell Jak
e that something was wrong and cry on his shoulder. Fear tasted like copper on her tongue and she couldn’t stop trembling.
She couldn’t look at her mother as she whispered, “I think it’s back, Mom.”
There was silence at the table as the import of those words rolled over them.
“But….” Amy choked on her words. Swallowing hard, she started over. “You look so healthy, honey. You’re….” she stopped again. “Why do you think…?”
“I’m tired, Mom. All the time,” Megan whispered, peering at her mother as she blinked back the tears. “Just like the last time. That’s how it started. I was just so…tired!”
Amy swallowed, feeling nauseous. “No!” she whispered, her eyes wide and horrified. “But…your last checkup was only a few months ago and you were cancer free, honey!”
The waiter arrived. “Are you ladies ready to order?” he asked. But a moment later, his pleasant, professional smile faded away as he realized the two ladies that were fighting tears. “I’ll come back in a few moments,” he assured them, then quickly walked away.
Amy laughed, but it was a tear-choked sound. She lifted her glass of ice water to her lips with shaking fingers, and carefully set it back down so the water didn’t spill on the linen tablecloth.
“It’s going to be different this time,” she assured her mother. “I’m different.” Megan sat up straighter, pulling her shoulders back. “I’m stronger and I know what to expect.” She laid a calm hand on her mother’s trembling one. “You won’t need to take care of me this time, Mom. I’m going to be fine.”
Amy blinked rapidly, fighting back the panic. Cancer! Again? No! It can’t be! “I’m calling Doctor Mortier!” she replied, then pulled her phone out, dialing a number from memory.
“Mom, I can’t…” she stopped when her mother lifted a quelling hand in the air. “Robert!” Amy greeted the oncologist’s office receptionist. “Hello, dear, this is Amy Carm…” she stopped and laughed. Obviously, Robert recognized her voice. “Yes, thank you.” Another long pause and Megan nodded. “That’s great news!” she replied. “Yes,” she repeated. “Well, I was wondering when Dr. Mortier could see Megan.” Amy looked across the table at her daughter, nodding. A moment later, she covered the mouthpiece. “Robert is getting Dr. Mortier now.”
Megan bit her lip, trying desperately not to fall back into her old, negative way of thinking. She had to remain positive. What she’d said to her mother was true - she was stronger! She’d waited too long the last time and the cancer had been aggressive. At the first sign of fatigue, Megan had realized what was going on. This time, she’d only been fatigued over the last few days. Maybe a week.
Her mother nodded, and waved her hand back and forth over the center of the table. Megan understood and grabbed her purse. “Yes, doctor. We’ll be there!”
Amy ended the call and grabbed her purse as well. “Doctor Mortier says that she’ll see you no matter what time we get there, either today or tomorrow.”
Amy pulled a ten dollar bill out of her purse and left it on the table, then hurried after her mother. She was already on the phone, pulling up flights to Minneapolis.
She found a flight leaving in three hours and booked it without a second thought. “Okay, we’re set. Let’s go,” she told her mother and put the key into the ignition of her small car.
Thirty minutes later, they were sitting at the gate in the airport. They’d ignored the startled expressions from the airport employees when they’d mentioned that they didn’t have luggage. Perhaps Megan should have gone back to her house to get some clothes but…no, she didn’t want to waste any time! Amy was nervous and fidgety while Megan sat in the vinyl chair staring straight ahead, getting her mind in gear.
“You need to eat something,” Amy announced. She jumped out of her chair and walked determinedly down the wide hallway of the airport, looking for something nutritious. A difficult task in an airport, where most of the food was meant to tempt bored passengers. Megan didn’t argue with her mother, even though she doubted she’d be able to eat anything. Getting food gave her mother purpose.
Megan didn’t move. Her heart thudded and her mind focused on Jake. With a gasp, she sat up, startled to realize that she’d just…left! “Jake!”
The last time she’d gone through this, she’d just left him. She’d been young and terrified, not sure what might happen in the future, but knowing that it wouldn’t be pretty. Now Megan knew that she shouldn’t have simply left him without an explanation. That was just wrong! It had taken her a few years to understand that, but at the time, she hadn’t wanted Jake to have to deal with the horror of chemo, or the potential of her death. She’d loved him but…no, she hadn’t wanted to hold Jake back.
But now…now she was older and wiser.
Quickly, she picked up her phone and dialed the number. Unfortunately, he didn’t answer. “Jake!” she gasped as soon as his voice mail picked up. “I have to go out of town. I’m sorry, but I’ll explain everything as soon as I can.” She paused, closing her eyes as she tried to figure out what to say next. She wanted desperately to say, “I love you!” and to reassure him that she’d be back. But that wouldn’t be fair. First of all, if the cancer was back, she didn’t want Jake to feel obligated in any way. They’d had a steamy affair, nothing else. If her heart was irrevocably tied to Jake, that wasn’t his fault. And she couldn’t say that she’d be back. Because she wasn’t sure if she would be.
So…what could she say? Her eyes looked around, trying to find inspiration in the tedium of the airport terminal. In the faces of the weary travelers. Or the harassed expressions on the airline employees’ faces. Unfortunately, nothing struck her in that moment.
Closing her eyes, she said what she could. It seemed completely inadequate, but it was all she could think of. “Just…I’ll work on the project from my end and will send you code updates as I finish them,” she told him. She ended the call and stuffed her phone back into her purse, her heart dreading what might come next.
Her mother bustled back with a plastic covered salad with grilled chicken. “Here, dear. Eat this.”
Megan didn’t want to eat anything, but she knew that nutrition was important. She’d lost so much weight during her last bout with this evil demon, and she hadn’t gained the weight back, too interested in feeling and sensing and enjoying life. Oh, she didn’t deny herself food. It was just…she wanted to experience things versus eat.
But now, knowing that her body needed something to help fight off the cancer, she ate as much as she could, swallowing despite the fact that she couldn’t taste anything. Everything she put into her mouth tasted wrong…it was all just off and weird.
Just like the days and weeks after chemotherapy. After each treatment, her mouth would break out with blisters to the point where eating was painful. Her mother had brought her yogurt smoothies that she’d frozen the night before. The cold had eased the pain of the blisters and given her stomach nutritious and easy to eat food to energize her body, but she hadn’t been able to taste much of anything.
Thankfully, their flight was called and they stood in the long line, waiting for their turn to board. Neither of them spoke, each understanding the import of what lay ahead of them.
The flight to Minneapolis was smooth and easy, even if Megan didn’t remember any of it. Outside of the airport, they grabbed a cab which took them straight to the clinic. Megan had called ahead, informing the oncologists’ office of their flight schedule. Doctor Mortier usually left her office around five or six each evening, but because of Megan, she stayed late. It was almost seven by the time Megan and her mother hurried through the doors of the clinic. Even Robert and several of the nurses had stuck around, looking worried, but each of them gave Megan a hug. “You’re going to be fine,” many of them announced firmly.
Doctor Mortier, her dark hair pulled back into a tight chignon and her ever present sensible shoes and white lab coat defining her as the expert, smiled reassuringly at Megan and Amy. “So, you th
ink that something is off,” she said, taking Megan’s hands in hers as she also looked into Amy’s eyes.
“I’m just…tired. All the time. I sleep through the night, but then I’m still tired all day long. It’s just like the last time, Doc,” Megan explained.
“I see,” she said, patting Megan’s hands. “Let’s go on back and I’ll see what’s going on. We’ll draw some blood and check your white blood count.”
Megan nodded, holding her mother’s hand in a death grip.
“Any other symptoms?” Doctor Mortier asked, leading the way back to an exam room.
“Taste. Everything tastes funny,” Megan said, her voice shaky.
Doctor Mortier paused and shot a startled look at Megan. “I see,” she murmured. Then started moving down the hallway again. “Are you seeing anyone special?” she asked as she opened the door to one of the exam rooms.
Megan knew the drill and slid onto the exam table, trembling as she tucked her hair behind her ears. Unconsciously, she let her fingers slide down her hair, absently noting the softness. During the chemo, she’d lost all of her hair, even her eye lashes and eyebrows. After recovery, her hair growing back had been so exciting. Well, besides feeling better!
Megan thought of Jake, his grey eyes and strong, sexy body, those eyes that glowed with unspoken humor. “Yes. He’s very special,” she replied, smiling dreamily. Wishing that he were here with her. She could definitely use his broad shoulders right about now. Jake would hold her and hug her. He’d tell her not to worry, even as he worried for both of them.
“And…where is he now?”
Megan pictured Jake in her mind, then glanced down at her watch. “He’s probably still at work,” she muttered, wishing that she were with him. “He owns the company that is helping me bring my program into a test environment.”
Doctor Mortier’s eyes widened as she surreptitiously checked Megan’s pulse. “That’s exciting news!” she exclaimed. “I know we’ve talked about it over the years, but that’s huge progress!” The kind woman pulled an extra ledge out from the examining table. “Would you mind lying down? I want to check a few things,” she said as she helped Megan lay back, the clinical paper crinkling in the silence of the room.
Inconveniently Tempted (The Diamond Club Series Book 10) Page 10
