by C. R. Jane
She puts her hand on my face. “I love you, Damon,” she says, and I snap. My control evaporates when she says those words. One movement is all it takes to press into that soft, hot body. My mouth crashes over hers and I run my tongue over her luscious lips, knowing they taste better than they even look. Eva moans and opens her mouth. I grab her tight ass and pull her onto my lap, my control skittering away. Our mouths clash together. Trying to calm down so I don’t maul her, I shudder and run my teeth down her neck, trying to put some space between our bodies. I can’t take her to bed right now after how I’ve acted, but soon it’s going to happen.
I’m trying to calm down, but I have to touch her again. I put my hands on either side of her beautiful face and softly kiss the thick, full lips that I’ve been fantasizing about every day since that day on campus. The crimson that flushes her cheeks and neck from our brief contact is so hot, my pants feel a size too small. I stare into her eyes and see my desire mirrored back in her amethyst eyes, her pupils almost fully dilated. Eva’s chest is heaving in and out with each breath, her soft breasts pressing against my torso. My gaze drops to her full mouth and I lean forward and tug on her lower lip with my teeth and suck on it, reveling in the taste. When our mouths touch, Eva unleashes an animal that I didn’t know she had under her façade. I feel her power lying in wait under her skin. She wraps herself around my body and tangles her hands in my hair, yanking my face down to hers in a mind-blowing embrace. Eva winds her arms around my neck. She’s so fucking perfect. I have to stop her before I can’t stop her. I gently push her away and groan as she licks her swollen lips.
I’m about to say to hell with it and drag Eva to my bedroom when the front door opens and Mason and Beckham come walking in, coming to a rapid, shocked halt when they see us. Eva’s still sitting in my lap with her arms around my neck, her lips swollen and wet from our kisses. There’s no hiding what we’ve been up to.
Mason is the first to recover. “So, I guess you two have made up?” he asks, casually walking to the kitchen cabinet and grabbing a glass that he fills up with water. I look at Beckham. He’s frozen in place and his cheek is twitching. Eva moves away from me, her face scarlet, shame written all over her features. We’re such assholes to make her feel like that, like she has something to be ashamed about. I want her for myself, but I’m not going to be able to live with myself if I keep hurting her because of my jealousy.
I lock eyes with Beckham and give him a look that says, “get your shit together.” Anger flashes across his eyes, but after he glances at Eva and sees her dejected expression, his gaze softens. He runs a hand through his hair, steadying himself, before he walks over and sits next to Eva, gathering her in his arms. Her eyes widen, apparently in shock that a fight hasn’t broken out, but she quickly recovers and snuggles into Beckham’s embrace.
I’ve realized that she misses each of us when we’re not around. I wonder if she will always be thinking of them when she’s with me. I guess it goes the other way though too, when she’s with them she will always be thinking of me.
I get up to order dinner from Eva’s favorite Thai place and watch everyone settle into place. Mason has moved to the couch. Despite the fact that Eva is sitting in Beckham’s lap, he’s holding her hand like he isn’t bothered by it at all. Out of the three of us, Mason seems to have made the most peace with the situation. Beckham is a different beast however. I know Beckham wants her for himself. I’m not going to forget the look of pride he had when I walked into the apartment that day and saw her dressed in his shirt looking deliciously sexed up, and how he flaunted it in front of us on purpose. He has a plan and although he’s been in my life for many years, I’m not going to let him win. He’s never going to have her all to himself.
I’ve tried to put myself in his shoes after discovering that he and Eva were basically childhood sweethearts in another world. That she belonged to him for years and years and that he was her first. But it doesn’t make a difference to me. First love or not, I intend to be Eva’s last love.
After dinner and a movie, I lead Eva into my bedroom since Mason and Beckham have “graciously” decided she can stay in my room tonight since we’ve just made up. I’m beyond exhausted after the emotional rollercoaster of the day we just had. As she gets into bed with me I’m grateful that for the first time in a while, I will be able to hold her in my arms instead of just dreaming about it.
II
After
8
Eva
We walk back to the car. The cold and rain have seeped into my bones, deepening the sense of dread I have for what awaits me. Shelton keeps his features schooled as Lexi directs him to an address that I haven’t heard her mention before. We pull up to a dark, beautiful brownstone and I frown staring up at it. I’ve come to realize that I don’t really know Lexi at all.
Lexi opens the car door with a shaking hand, betraying her nervousness at what she’s about to show me. When Shelton helps me out of the car he quietly asks me if he should come in with me. When I shake my head no, he sighs, and I know that he’s going to text Damon as soon as I go inside. I squeeze his arm gently, trying to reassure him, but I’m sure he sees right through me. He knows that something life changing happened in the park.
Lexi unlocks the door and lets us in. A grand staircase is the highlight of the front entryway. It’s incredibly ornate with gold leaf filigree designs all along it. I hear footsteps and am surprised to see Max, Lexi’s driver, coming down the stairs.
“Lexi?” he asks, looking first surprised and then worried at her presence. He notices me standing by the door and comes to a halt. “You brought her here?” he says in a stunned voice. I look between the both of them.
“I thought you were Lexi’s driver?” I ask dumbly. As I stand there, I start to get a bit angry. I’m so tired of being kept out of the loop. I’m even more perplexed when he suddenly bows low to me, greeting me like I’m royalty. Which I guess I am, but how would Max know that?
“He’s been my companion for many many years,” says Lexi. “He knows almost everything about me, including that you are my queen.”
I nod, but say nothing, uncomfortable with the fact that he acted like he had no idea who I was when I first met him. Lexi can tell I’m upset, and a wave of remorse passes over her features. She gestures to the stairs and quietly begins to ascend them. I can feel Max’s concerned look as we walk, but he makes no move to go up the stairs with us.
Lexi leads me down a hallway and my heart starts fluttering faster. There’s something ahead of us, something giving off an energy reading. We walk into a large room. It’s filled to the brim with odds and ends. You could probably spend days in here and not be able to uncover half of the treasures within these walls. There are things from all over the world in here, and things that must be from other worlds as well. Like the creature to my right dancing around in a cage. Recognizing the creature as a krimga like the one I saw in Aiden’s dreamworld, I’m shocked to see that it actually exists. I reach a hand in the cage to stroke its soft fur and it lets out a soft humming sound as if it’s enjoying my touch.
Lexi turns around when she hears the noise and her eyes gentle and a light smile appears on her lips. “It figures you would immediately find a krimga. You were always catching them and sneaking them into the palace as pets when we were growing up.”
It’s basically the first time that Lexi has given anything even a little substantive about our past life and I freeze, not wanting to disturb her if she’s on a roll.
Much to my disappointment, her smile dwindles, and she turns away and begins to walk across the room. When she gets to the far wall, she moves aside a painting of a large white horse, unveiling a safe. I had seen this sort of thing in movies before, but it was something else to see it in person. Looking around the room I pick up things that I didn’t notice before, like how there’s multiple cameras situated around the room, and an alarm panel by the door. It’s a lot of security for this one room and I wonder if the rest of t
he house is like that as well.
Lexi fiddles with the safe and my skin starts to tingle when it clicks, and she opens it up. She pushes a few things around in it before pulling out a small book wrapped in a faded leather cover. She holds it for a moment, various expressions passing over her face, until she finally walks over to me and reaches out to hand me the book. I’m sucked into a vision the second my fingertips graze the cover.
She’s beautiful. The stars in the heavens wouldn’t compare to the woman in front of me. I would say she’s an angel, but she’s more than that. She’s a goddess. I’m not sure how I know that, but everything in me says that it’s the case. Her hair is a silvery white color that seems to be glowing from within. Looking closer, I realize that everything about her is glowing. She’s dressed in a dark, violet dress that only highlights further the silvery glow that she emits. She’s stroking the head of a woman who’s kneeling at her feet, her head buried in the goddess’s stomach as she weeps.
“There, there,” she whispers, her face pained over the sorrow of the woman she is trying to comfort. When the woman finally stands up, I gasp. It’s my mother, the fey queen.
“What has caused you so much distress?” asks the Goddess, holding my mother’s hands in her own.
“I’ve tried everything,” Mother says, sorrow heavy in her voice. “Nothing has worked. I need your blessing. The power of the land will disappear with my death if I do not have a child.” The Goddess’s eyes widen, and although I have no idea what Mother is talking about, its apparent that the beautiful creature standing in front of her does.
“You ask for too much, my child,” she says to Mother, who immediately begins to sob in earnest once again.
“I will give anything,” Mother says beseechingly, sinking back down to her knees and bowing her head.
“Are you sure you would do anything?” comes a haughty, cold voice from across the room. Aiden walks in, but he’s an Aiden that I haven’t seen before. Impossibly gorgeous, he carries the same glow as the goddess. His features are less dark, more similar to the golden hue that always reminds me of Beckham. His hair is shinier, and his eyes...his eyes are ancient and swirl with power and secrets as if he holds the entire history of the world within their depths.
My mother looks wary, as if she can sense the danger that lies beneath his stunning exterior. I want to call out to her, to warn her not to make any deals with him, but I’m held captive watching the events unfold.
“I would do anything,” Mother says passionately, but even as she says it, I can tell that she knows there will be consequences with this deal. Everyone in the room can see how desperate she is however. There’s no way that the Queen of Fairie would beg unless it was the only option she had available to her.
“We cannot create a child, she would be entirely too powerful and completely upset the balance,” admonishes the Goddess to this new Aiden. He doesn’t look convinced however and stares at my mother, a plan forming in his brain.
“If you are given a child, I want your promise that she will belong to me once she reaches a certain age,” he tells my mother, not taking his eyes off of her, his face alight with burgeoning excitement.
“Absolutely not,” says the Goddess before my mother can say anything. “Why would you want that?”
“It’s been many millennium and I haven’t yet found a mate. If I haven’t found her yet than she doesn’t exist,” he says in disgust. “But creating the perfect mate would solve all my problems. I’m not sure why I didn’t think of it yet.” He laughs at himself and then turns to the Goddess. “You’re going to do this for her, and right away. I’m already going to have to wait longer than I want in order to get my bride.”
My mother looks terrified and the Goddess looks deeply concerned...and irritated if I’m reading her facial expressions correctly. It’s obvious that Aiden has some kind of control over her if he can force her to do this.
“You can leave now,” says Aiden with a bored tone to my mother. He waves his hand lazily and an enormous ebony throne appears. He sprawls out on the throne, a tremendous pitch black snake appearing out of nowhere to wrap itself around his shoulders. He waves his hand again and conjures a gold, shimmering image that he shapes and forms, his eyes rapt with fascination.
I come back to the present shaking violently. I don’t want to believe what I’ve seen. If it’s true than that means….I shut off my train of thought. If I don’t think about it, it doesn’t exist.
“Take it back,” I tell Lexi harshly, holding out the book. She takes a step away from me so she’s out of reach.
“It’s who you are,” she says quietly. It’s clear that she knows the ugly truth about me and I suddenly can’t stand to be in the same room with her, her eyes are too knowing.
Grasping the book tightly to my chest, I hurry out of the room, clamoring down the steps. The house feels stifling, like I’ll suffocate if I stay in between its walls for a moment more. Max is still waiting at the base of the stairs and I ignore him as I hurry to the door.
I open the door and step out, only somewhat surprised to see Damon waiting for me on the doorstep. I slip the journal under my coat before he can notice it.
Although I’m still reeling from what I’ve just discovered, his demeanor immediately catches my attention. It’s like ice. Pure fury is flowing through him. He takes my hand and yanks me to the car where Shelton is waiting. Shelton at least has the decency to look a little ashamed at the fact that he tattled on me to Damon. I open my mouth to say something, but Damon cuts me off.
“Not a word,” he spits out.
I’m immediately a little annoyed...and a little scared. Damon and I have just now made up. What’s going to happen now?
“Damon…I needed to find out what was going on with Lexi. I just found out something, I need a little time to process it…” I tell him, trying to rein in my defenses against his earned vengeance.
“And how much time do you need?” Again, the bite behind his words is lethal.
“I-I don’t know.”
“You don’t know. Well let me tell you what I know. I know that I’m sure as hell not going to continue to let you keep secrets. You’re in a relationship now, multiple relationships in fact,” he says, bitterness in his tone at the reminder. “You don’t get to run away and make decisions without including us, dammit. Not to mention that you don’t get to continue to disappear and leave us behind unable to protect you. You’re still keeping your distance and trying to protect your heart by continuing to keep things from me.” He grabs my arms, forcing me to take his penetrating, dominating gaze.
“Mine,” he spews as though the word is pathetic. “Did you lie about that too?”
At my inability to reply, my lips parted in the shock of his accusation, he leans down to take me in a desperate, forceful kiss, its edges serrated, cutting with an overflow of hurt and pain - his…mine.
“I haven’t lied about anything,” I tell him, after I pull my lips away from his. My voice is breathless after the force of his kiss. I tear myself from his grip as well, trying to distance myself from the emotions he’s stirring in me. He’s trying to break down the defensive wall that I’ve spent years building; a strong and equally ugly alternative to the building tears that I’m trying to hold at bay after what I’ve just found out.
He looks stunned at my abrupt withdrawal, and I’m dying inside, losing the internal war between my heart and my mind. He’s right though. As much as I’ve thought that I’ve gone all in, I’ve been keeping so much from them all. I’ve never been in a relationship before, but I know that normal relationships aren’t dealing with visions, dreams, and evil ex-husbands. Maybe I’ve been keeping everything from them in an effort to protect this thing between us that seems so fragile.
I don’t know what to say. What I just learned feels ugly, like it will immediately poison my relationship with all of them if it passes out of my mouth. It was one thing to know I was once married to Aiden. At least it was done reluctantly
in order to save an entire world. Finding out that I was possibly made for him... Doesn’t that mean that I have the same propensity for evil and selfishness that he does? What would they think of me then?
My thoughts are cut off by his growl and crestfallen face. Our eyes collide, his emerald eyes peak and level into an intensity that calls to me. I’ve seen this from him before, the need, the passion, and the panic that our relationship could slip out from under him in a heartbeat. I want to reassure him, to exude a level of confidence that sends my own message, but his thoughts mimic my own.
We’re on shaky ground, committed to a future that blurs each time we try to find our way. I won’t let him or Mason or Beckham overpower my will. I’ve fought too hard to even get the self-respect I carry with me today. What I will do however is compromise. Telling him about my dreams is my concession, but I won’t lose myself to Damon or any of the others.
“What do you want to know?” I ask quietly, the anger and frustration melting away and leaving behind a desperation for a chance to redo the events of the day. I would never have left the warm safety of Damon’s embrace this morning if I had known what I was going to learn.
“I want to know everything,” Damon demands, his anger still simmering just under his skin. Of course, my demanding, protective angel would want to know it all. He wants to fight my battles for me and protect me from everything. Unfortunately, the secrets of my past are not something that he’s going to be able to protect me from.
