I sat on the bed and set them beside me, going through the titles, like, ‘Spread Pussy’, ‘Young and Tight’, ‘Horny Virgins’, ‘Hot and Wet’, and ‘Fuck me Hard.’
Thumbing idly through the pages, I saw they were mostly just older teen/early twenties girls with their legs spread wide, showing off a wide assortment of different pussies. There were shaved ones, hairy ones, tight and loose. Ones with big inner lips, and ones that seemed to have none. The girls were mostly white, with some others mixed in, and had a range of hair colors. A real potpourri.
So yeah, it was obvious my brother-in-law was jerking off to these pictures. Part of me was disgusted, but the compassionate part of me realized he could be doing a lot worse. I also realized he was using magazines because he could no longer afford to own a computer, where he could get porn off the internet.
The last magazine was different than the others. It was hard-core, and showed a couple actually fucking. Each of the pictures had a caption, and it told the story of a door-to-door salesman showing up at this housewife’s door, where she proceeded to seduce him. The action got underway fairly quickly, followed by photograph after photograph of his huge cock inside of her mouth or grasping pussy.
I stared curiously at the girl in the photos. She was young, and had long dark hair. In fact, she looked a lot like Cheryl. Is that why Julian had bought this one? Because the woman looked like his dead wife? So he was jerking off while imagining this girl was Cheryl? That was just weird.
I continued to flip through the pages, watching the couple going through the different positions of fucking. Him on top, her on top, spooning, doggy-style. There were even a few that looked like you’d have to be a contortionist to attempt.
Then his cock was in her ass instead of her pussy. I examined the pictures curiously. A few of the guys I’d been with had wanted to try that, but I’d always put them off, afraid it would hurt. But it was something I wanted to try eventually.
When I flipped to the last page, my eyes opened wide in shock. Something I never expected lay before me.
There, tucked in the pages, was a small stack of three photos. In them, a girl was in her bathing suit.
And that girl was me.
I recognized the photos as being extras from the yearbook photo shoot for the school’s swim team. Robbie Prentiss, the yearbook’s photographer, had asked if I wanted them. I said yes, and gave them to my Mom. How they ended up in my brother-in-law’s jerkoff magazines was a complete mystery. What the fuck?
Julian was jerking off to me? Why would he be doing that? He’d never once shown any indication he’d been attracted to me. And if he was grieving over his dead wife, why was he fantasizing about having sex with her sister? It made no sense at all.
One of my photos even had a stain on it, and it took all of my will power not to imagine what’d caused it. Gross.
I decided I’d seen enough, and shoved the stack of magazines back under the mattress before finishing making the bed. Then I made a short tour of the apartment, looking for anything I missed. It wasn’t perfect, but it was livable, and certainly much better than it was a few hours ago.
I’d brought a few bottles of Diet Coke with me, and I sat down on the couch and cracked one open, taking a rest before I left. My intention was to get out before Julian got home, letting him wonder which magic fairy had stopped by to clean while he was gone.
But I realized my anonymity was blown when I heard his key in the door, turning the lock. I considered diving behind the curtains or something, but decided to just sit there and let him know it was me. After all, I could use a little appreciation after all the hard work I’d put in.
Chapter 4
Julian stepped inside his door and stopped, blinking as he looked around his clean apartment while holding a pizza box in one hand. Then his eyes settled on me. But the appreciative smile I expected never materialized.
“What the fuck?” he said, glaring at me.
“Surprise,” I said weakly.
“What the fuck did you do?” he demanded.
“I cleaned,” I said, stating the obvious. Well, he did ask.
He looked around again. “I didn’t want this.”
What the fuck? Why was he upset?
“I know. I just wanted to do you a favor.”
He shook his head. “I don’t want any favors.”
“I just wanted to help.”
He glared at me again. “I don’t want any fucking help.”
I stood, feeling my own anger rising. “I thought you’d be a little more appreciative. I worked hard all day doing this.”
“I didn’t ask you to. This is my place. You had no right to stick your nose into it.”
“Well someone had to, or you’d have the Board of Health coming in and evicting you. You’re living like a pig.”
“That’s my business. Not yours. Did your mother put you up to this?”
“No. It was my idea. Like I said, I thought I was doing you a favor.”
“How did you get in?”
I fished the spare key from my pocket. “I borrowed this.”
He snatched it from my fingers. “No, you stole it. Get out.”
“You’re such a fucking jerk. I can’t believe I tried to help you.”
“Get out,” he repeated pointing at the door.
“Fine,” I said, and headed for the door. “What an asshole.”
I reached the door and grabbed the knob, then turned around. “Oh, by the way. I found your little stash of porn magazines. And I don’t appreciate you jerking off to photos of me.”
His eyes went wide. “What?”
“You heard me. That’s really sick, beating off to photos of your dead wife’s sister. I’d demand them back, but I don’t want to touch them after what you’ve done with them.”
He stared at me, and then shook his head. “I’m not doing that.”
“Yeah, right. That’s why you have them tucked into your little fuck book. I saw it. Don’t try to lie.”
He continued to shake his head. “No.”
I rolled my eyes. “Bullshit. Like I said, I saw what I saw.”
“Those aren’t pictures of you. They’re Cheryl. From when she was on the swim team.”
“Wrong. They’re of me. Do you actually think I don’t recognize myself?”
He stared at me a moment longer, then softly said, “Oh my god.”
Curious, I said, “What?”
“I thought they were Cheryl. Your mother brought over a box of photos, and told me I could have any of Cheryl I wanted. So I took those. They’re of you? Are you sure?”
My voice softened. “Yeah, I’m sure. They were just taken six months ago. The photographer gave them to me.”
“I swear to god I thought they were Cheryl. I would never… I mean… If I knew they were you… I wouldn’t have… Oh god…”
“I guess she did look a lot like me when she was my age.”
He nodded. “Yeah. A lot like you. God, I’m so sorry. You can have them back.”
“I don’t think so.”
“I’ll throw them out then. I promise.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
He took a deep breath. “Beth?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry for yelling at you. Just seeing the place like this took me by surprise. It felt like you were judging me, and I got angry. I’m sorry.”
I let my breath out. “Apology accepted.”
“Thank you for doing all of this. I know it was a lot of hard work.”
“You’re welcome.”
He held out the pizza box. “Want some pizza?”
I stared at the box as my stomach rumbled. “No, I’d better be getting home. Mom will be worried.”
“Please? Call her and let her know you’re here.”
I realized that was a win-win. I could satisfy my empty stomach, while also scoring some bonus points with my mom.
“Okay, I’ll have a few slices. On one condition.”
“What’s that?” he asked.
“That you throw the box away properly when we’re done.”
“Yeah, okay,” he replied with a slight smile, and it occurred to me that was the first time I’d seen him do that in over a year and a half.
Chapter 5
Julian and I sat beside each other on his couch with the pizza box open on the coffee table. He offered me a drink, but I already had my Diet Coke, so he retrieved a can of soda from the refrigerator for himself.
“I can’t believe how clean the fridge is,” he said as he sat back down beside me.
“Yeah, it was really gross. Some of that stuff had to have been in there for months.”
He grimaced. “Sorry about that.”
I considered giving him another lecture about straightening his life out, but decided that maybe he needed someone to talk with him, rather than talk at him.
“Guess who I saw a few weeks ago?” I said.
“Who?”
“Joey Delgato.”
He seemed slightly surprised. “Joey? Where’d you see him at?”
“At his house. I was dating his younger brother for a while.”
“You and Little Ricky?”
“He’s not so little anymore. He’s taller than Joey now.”
“Joey and I used to pick on him mercilessly. Then he’d go crying to his mom who’d then raise holy hell with Joey.” He smiled again, “How’s Joey doing?”
“Seems like he was doing okay. They live in California now, and were in town for a short visit. Their little boy is six, and they have two-year-old daughter too.”
Julian nodded. “Good for him. I wouldn’t have given that marriage a chance in hell when he knocked up Tammy at the end of high school. But I give them credit for sticking it out. And they have a daughter too? That’s nice.”
“Yeah, they seem happy together.”
“I convinced my college to offer Joey a scholarship, since he was my best receiver in high school, but he turned it down, telling me he had a family to support now, and didn’t have time for playing a game.”
“I never knew that.”
“So you and Ricky?”
“It was nothing serious. He asked me to the holiday dance, and we kind of hung out together until graduation. His dad had gotten him a summer job in Maine building houses, so we knew it wasn’t going to last. He left two weeks ago.”
“So now you’re free and clear for the summer?” Another smile.
“Yeah, I guess so. I got a part time job as a lifeguard down at the pool, so that should keep me busy enough to stop Mom from bitching about me not doing anything before I head off to Duke University in the fall.”
“Cheryl was a lifeguard there too.”
“Yeah, I know. That’s how I got the job. Mr. Rankin, who runs the place, actually called me and asked if I was interested. Said that Cheryl had been one of his best employees, and he wanted another one like her.”
Julian’s eyes got a faraway look.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I shouldn’t have brought up the lifeguard thing.”
“No, it’s okay,” he said. “I was just remembering that summer after high school. I was at the pool every day, just to see her.”
I smiled. “Showing off your fabulous bod for all the girls?”
He smiled again. “Nah, my bod belonged to Cheryl, and everyone knew it.”
“That’s so romantic.”
He nodded. “Yeah, it was. That summer was special. It was–” His voice hitched, and he became silent, staring down at the carpet.
Instinctively, I reached out and covered his hand with mine. “It’ll be okay, Julian.”
He shook his head slowly. “No, it won’t.”
“It’ll take time, but the pain will go away.”
A tear rolled down his cheek. “I don’t want it to go away. Because when it does, that means she’s gone forever. At least if I still hurt for her, she’s around in my memory.”
“She would want you to be happy. You know that.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be happy again. Not like I was with her.” More tears fell into his lap, and I felt one escape my eye to run down to the corner of my lip. I tasted the salt.
“You will, I promise. I just takes time.”
“I wish I could have one more minute with her, so I could tell her how much I love her.”
I squeezed his hand as my tears began to flow. “I think that all the time. Just one minute is all I would need.”
He placed his other hand over mine. “I forget sometimes that other people loved her just as much as I did. I selfishly think that I’m the only one suffering. I’m sorry.”
I shifted into him, curling my arms up around his neck and pressing my face against his chest. He seemed surprised for a moment, then turned and moved his arms around me, resting his hands at the small of my back. I sobbed softly against his shirt, and felt the warm drops of his tears against my arm. We held each other for a minute or two, both of us crying softly.
Finally, I pulled back, sniffling and wiping the tears from my cheeks. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I came over here to cheer you up and now I’m crying.”
“Don’t apologize. You’ve made me feel better. Not only by cleaning my place, but also letting me know I’m not alone in this.”
I smiled softly. “You’re definitely not alone, Julian.”
He reached up and brushed a lock of hair from my face with his fingers.
“Thank you, Beth.”
I smiled, and was about to answer when my phone went off. When I looked at the screen, I said, “Shit, I forgot to call Mom.”
I held the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
“Beth? Where are you? I was expecting you home an hour ago.”
“Sorry, Mom, I lost track of time.” I glanced at Julian, who was giving me a slight smile.
“Where are you?”
“Julian’s.”
She was silent a moment, obviously surprised by this news.
“What are you doing there? You were just there yesterday.”
“I’m allowed to visit my brother-in-law two days in a row.”
Julian smiled again. I could get used to that.
Mom’s voice dropped lower. “How is he?”
“He’s fine.”
Julian cocked an eyebrow.
“What does fine mean?” Mom asked.
“Can we talk about this later?”
Julian held out his hand, reaching for the phone. I handed it to him.
She was in the middle of saying something, when he held the phone to his ear and said, “Mom?”
I heard silence on the other end.
“Mom,” Julian repeated, “I just wanted to thank you for sending Beth over. She spent the entire day cleaning my apartment, and I really appreciate it.”
More silence, and then Mom said something I couldn’t make out.
“Yes, she is. Just like her sister. I’ll send her on her way, so she should be home soon. Bye, Mom.”
Mom was still talking when he ended the call and handed the phone back to me.
“She seemed surprised,” he said.
“She didn’t send me to clean, and I didn’t tell her I was coming.”
“So this really was all your idea?”
“Yeah.”
“Thank you. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. And everything else.”
I nudged the empty pizza box with my foot. “And what are you going to do with this?”
He smiled. “Throw it away.”
“When?”
“Right after you leave.”
I grinned. “I’ll be back tomorrow to check.”
He seemed surprised. “You will?”
“Yeah. Is that okay?”
He nodded. “Yeah, it’s okay.” I get off at four.”
“I’ll be here at five. And no pizza. I’ll bring something to make.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to.” I got u
p and walked to the door. He followed.
At the door, I turned and pointed at him. “If this place is messy again tomorrow, I’m going to get violent.”
He chuckled and held up his hands. “Okay, I won’t mess it up.”
I looked up at him and met his gaze. “It’s good to see you smiling again.”
His grin softened. “I’ll walk you to your car.”
“Thanks. I figured my odds were fifty-fifty getting there safely.”
“It’s really not that bad.”
“Yeah, if you’re a guy who weighs two-hundred pounds. I’m a girl who weighs one-ten.”
He walked me down the hall, then down the steps after I refused to get on the elevator, then out to my car. I got in and rolled the window down. He leaned in.
“Thank you, Beth.”
“You’re welcome. Tomorrow then?”
“Tomorrow.”
I smiled and put the car in gear, then waved as I headed off.
Mom gave me the third-degree when I got home, wanting to know everything. But I remained elusive, just telling her I saw the condition of Julian’s place yesterday, and wanted to do something about it. When she asked what the two of us talked about, I answered with a generic “Stuff.”
Chapter 6
The next day, I stopped by the store on my way over to Julian’s, and picked up a box of spaghetti, a few cans of tomato sauce, some spices, salad stuff, a loaf of Italian bread, and some butter. I knew my mom’s spaghetti recipe by heart, and remembered that Julian enjoyed it when Cheryl made it for him.
I knocked on his door carrying the bag of groceries, and when he opened it, a surprise greeted me. He was completely smooth-shaven, and while his hair was still long, it was obvious he’d had somebody trim it so it looked much neater.
I smiled wide. “You look great!” I gushed.
He grinned and held the door open. “Come on in.”
As I brushed by him, I picked up a faint scent of cologne. That was much better than the funky sweat smell that was present on him two days ago.
I looked around his apartment. “Still looking good,” I said.
“Well, it’s only been a day,” he said. “Not much I could mess up in that short time.”
Taking Her Place Page 2
