by Jerilee Kaye
“And I figure, Mommy doesn’t know,” he guessed.
She nodded. “Yep. It’ll be another stain in our relationship.”
“Why is it like that?” he asked.
She shrugged. “I remember she started comparing me to Kimberly when we were both in high school. She was three years my senior. She always stayed at home, always seemed bookish. I was always out with some friends. I started dating ahead of her. But I kept getting straight A’s. My mother was not happy with my partying or being out with friends. She always complained that I should be like my older sister, whose life revolved around school and home.
“Kimberly never liked me very much. She always bullied me, as far as I can remember. When I tried to learn how to play the guitar, she already held piano recitals.
“I used to be rebellious. I never did the right thing. Whenever Mom scolded me, it would be like…look at Kimberly… Kimberly never gave me these problems…When Kimberly made it to UCLA, my mother was ecstatic. She seemed so proud of her and she implied that I would never make it as big as Kim. Kimberly will get anything she wanted in life, and I would end up being a secretary of some company…if I didn’t get pregnant as a teenager.
“I remember being so angry that night. I went on a date with this jerk, who’s a senior. I thought it was cool because I was dating a hotshot older guy. But I almost got date raped. I used pepper spray on him and had to phone my father to pick me up in the middle of nowhere. I felt so scared. And Mom was so mad.
“That’s when I started going the other way. I wanted to earn her trust instead of rebelling against it. I stopped dating in high school. I almost didn’t go to prom. I used to dye my hair dark brown, to hide the red highlights. I loved my red strands ‘coz I thought it looked cool. But my Mom always made me feel like a harlot because of them. So I had a whole stock of dark brown hair dyes.
“I still earned straight A’s as a student. I did much better in junior and senior year. I got accepted in all the universities I applied to. I took communication arts at Stanford. I have always wanted to write. My mother still thought it wasn’t good enough. Kim had gotten into med school and she did well.
“It seems like all my life, I attempted to live up to my mother’s expectations. But I still can’t make her love me as much as she loves Kim…” She didn’t realize that tears already began rolling down her cheeks.
Justin took her hand and pulled her close to him.
“But you are doing well,” he said softly.
“I thought so too. I’m one of Blush’s top editors. I thought it was big. Blush is big. And I made it to that position in three years. My mother never saw that. She said, Blush is a magazine read by models and women obsessed with their looks, who never cared much about their brains.”
“I don’t think that’s true. Women read a lot of these magazines for empowerment—because it’s a magazine that holds the secrets of your gender. You’ll be surprised some guys read it, too. You know…just to know how to charm a woman.” He chuckled.
She smiled. “I don’t know, Justin. I went there because I have passion for it. I love to write. And Blush is prestigious. But I also wanted to do other things. I want to invest. I want to make a whole lot more money than what I’m earning now.”
“You’re still young. What are you? Forty?” He gave her a mocking look.
She pinched him on his side.
“Ouch!” He laughed. “All right. Twenty-five. You’re doing great at Blush. You could do more. On the side, you can invest in some things. You could even start up your own business if you want to. When the business turns great, you can choose whether you want to go on with full-time writing or contribute to Blush or another magazine or write your own novel or book.”
She pulled back and stared at him. “You know what? I have always wanted to do that. And I swear I will when I have more time or if things become more stable.”
He reached up and pushed a lock of hair away from her face.
“Do it. I know you’ll do well. And surgery… it can be learned in school. I think you could be a better surgeon than your sister if you chose to be. But writing…not everyone can be a writer. It’s a gift. And you have it.”
She smiled and then reached up to kiss him.
“Thank you for saying that. I wish my mother thought of it that way.”
“What about your father?” he asked.
“I always thought I was Dad’s favorite. But my father was more the ‘Yes Dear’ kind of husband, if you know what I mean. He’s quite smart, and he loves all of us too much. I never felt my father treated me unfairly. I know many times he stood up for me. But nothing he did ever changed my mother’s opinion of me. Maybe that’s just the way it is.”
“Well, at least it’s not both of them. And hey…you turned out okay. Sometimes, it’s the challenges that stand in the way that force us to be better persons. If you ask me, you’re perfect, just as you are, honey.”
“No one is perfect.” She laughed.
He shook his head and looked at her deeply. “You’re smart. You’ve got a good heart. You know how to handle your finances. You’re independent. You’ve got a classy apartment; a stable job. You’ve got friends who love you… a guy who’s crazy about you.”
She laughed sarcastically. “I don’t really think Troy was crazy about me at all.”
Justin stared at her for a moment. He fell silent. His eyes were narrowed and an eyebrow was shot up.
She stared back at him.
Shit!
“You mean… what do you mean?” she stammered.
Justin Adams couldn’t possibly be crazy about me!
He looked away from her. “I’m sure this Troy character is crazy about you. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be sticking around like what he’s doing now, considering you don’t see each other much.”
Shit! I just ruined that perfect moment, didn’t I?
It suddenly felt awkward.
This is Justin Adams! Hello! Hotshot playboy who could have any woman he wants! Women who are on the A-list, even royalty!
“Justin…” she started.
He just stared at her for a while.
“You meant…Troy, right?” She asked in a broken voice.
He shrugged. “He is the current and official boyfriend, isn’t he?”
What kind of an answer is that?!
She gazed at him. She knew she didn’t have any right to get mad.
It’s only been a few days!
Could he really say that he was crazy about her?
He pulled away from her and lit a cigarette. “What’s his story, anyway?”
She watched him intently. She tried to figure out the expression on his face. He had none. He just looked out onto the view from the balcony.
She decided to let it go or else she might say something to ruin the moment even more. She has no right to demand anything from Justin. She has a boyfriend! She merely fooled around with him.
“Well… I met him when I first started working for Blush. It was my parents’ anniversary party and they were friends with his parents. To tell you the truth, I didn’t think he was actually my type at first. But he sounded so mature, and my mother adored him. When he picked me up for our date, it was the only time my mother seemed ecstatic for me. As if it was the only time, I brought good news to her.
“Troy and I got along just fine. The relationship became stable. He went to med school, yet we managed to keep things going. We had our problems…we don’t always see each other eye to eye. But the relationship was safe. I thought that was all that mattered. I felt it was going somewhere. We’ve been dating for three years. I think he was the only trophy I ever brought home to my mother.”
Justin listened quietly to her story. Adrienne wished she was a mind reader. She wanted to know what he was thinking. She didn’t want to answer his question about Troy…but he asked!
She thought it weird and way too complicated talking about Troy with Justin. Especially after he just pointed out
that some guy was crazy about her and she automatically thought about Troy. She realized that her words told him that she had no regard for the last nights they spent together. For that, she felt remorseful.
But she didn’t even know what they were! And it’s hard to hope for something stable with a guy like Justin Adams… and harder to believe that a guy like him could be crazy about her!
Her phone rang. She went inside the apartment to answer it.
“Yen… how are you?” Yuan asked.
“I’m okay. I’ll return to the office tomorrow.”
“You’re falling sick, sweetie. You need a vacation. You work too much!”
“I’m okay. Really. I just didn’t feel too well to go to work this morning. Maybe it’s stress. And one day of rest took care of it. I feel better already.”
“Maybe it’s your virginity eating away your insides and working its way to destroy the rest of your body,” he teased.
“Ha-ha! You’re very funny!” she said sarcastically.
She felt guilty. How could she bring herself to come clean to her friends now? How could she say to them that she lost her virginity a few days ago and the recipient of her precious virtue currently sat on her balcony? A.k.a God’s gift to women? A.k.a the most sought after playboy in the City?
“Why don’t we drop by tonight?” Yuan asked.
“No need for it, guys. I want to sleep early to make sure I go to work tomorrow.”
“Okay. It’s just that…I’m not used to this falling sick thing of yours. You never do that!”
She laughed. “First time in many years.”
“Yes… oh well…call me if you need anything, sweetie.”
“Will do. Bye.”
When she turned around, Justin sat on her sofa. He hadn’t made a sound. Now she really felt guilty about talking about Troy.
No! He can’t be jealous! He’s Justin Adams!
But how come she had a feeling that she hit him hard when she said that it was Troy who’s crazy about her…and hit him again when she said that Troy can keep a stable relationship, which suggested that he can’t?
She sat beside him and rested her head on his shoulder. He didn’t budge. She wanted to ease him in her own way. But she didn’t want to say anything because that might be assuming that she meant something to him.
He didn’t say anything for a whole minute. But then she felt him wrap an arm around her shoulders and plant a kiss on her head.
She smiled to herself. All this unspoken affection that he shows her drove her mad! She felt that he somehow had grown fond of her over the last couple of days they spent together. Still, for a guy like Justin Adams, she couldn’t believe it was possible at all.
The signals he sent her chased her out of her skull. She knew she couldn’t nail down a guy like him. And she didn’t know when this will be over. She promised herself she would keep her heart intact. But she knew it was just too darned easy to fall in love with him! When Justin would leave her, she didn’t think she would be able to handle it if he took her heart with him.
She wondered what would happen in two weeks. Justin’s reputation says he drops a woman after two weeks, right? If he is like this with every woman, then he leaves a trail of heartbreaks at least twenty-four times a year. And she didn’t intend to be a part of that trail.
“Do you want to watch a DVD?” he asked mildly.
She looked up at him and smiled.
“Yes.”
He smiled back this time. Then he stood up and pulled her up on her feet.
“Let’s go to my place,” he said.
They watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days in Justin’s bedroom.
“My God! Even I would drop this girl like a hot potato if I were her boyfriend!” Adrienne pronounced while watching the film.
He laughed. “Hey… some girls are like that. They demand too much.”
“But not all, mister,” she countered.
“Yeah. I said some.”
“But you guys…I don’t understand why you guys run off when a girl leaves something at your place. I mean, you’re too afraid of commitment. We don’t mind if you leave something at our place. You guys…immediately think we’re marking you as our property if we leave as much as a lipstick on your table!”
“No. It’s just that, we like to have our own place. And our time. And sometimes girls can’t get that.”
“Leaving something of ours in your place doesn’t necessarily mean we are marking it as our territory. As if we want to move in with you or something.”
“You can leave some of your stuff. But you don’t have to write your name all over the place.”
“What? Write our names? Leaving our stuff in your place is like writing our names on it? What are we? Cats?” She started to raise her voice.
He laughed. “Honey…chill, okay? I’m not generalizing women. And I’m not saying it’s all true for men, either. I don’t mind if you leave some of your stuff here. You have a toothbrush here, remember? And I gave it to you. You didn’t leave it here.”
She realized that she sounded so furious and so she laughed as well.
“It’s just that some things…for guys…take some time to get used to. And bachelors, who get accustomed to doing their own thing at their own time, take more time to get used to the fact that they can’t do it the same way anymore. Like toilet seats, for example. Girls don’t like it up, because you use it. Hey…you’re the one using it. So why don’t you put it down yourself? We don’t complain if you leave it down. And we grew up being taught by our mothers… this is a toilet seat. Put it up when you are using the toilet. Flush. And then put it back down. You grow up and realize that you did it for the girls.”
“That’s like etiquette or something!”
He laughed. “Come to think of it, honey, I’ll bet that rule was made by a woman! Were you ever taught…this is a toilet seat. Put it down when you are using it. Flush and put it back up?”
“No. Because that is not the way it was supposed to be.”
“Come on. What’s the rationale? Because there might be a girl who will use it one time and it’s only proper that it’s all ready for her to sit on.”
“Chauvinist pig!” she snapped.
He laughed and then pulled her to him into a hug. She pulled back, refusing.
He laughed harder. “Honey…I was just making a point. Look in the bathroom. The toilet seat will always be left down for you. I’m not arguing.”
“Okay. From now on, always leave it up. If I use it, I will put it down myself!”
He pulled her again and hugged her, laughing. “No. I will not break the rules of my mother and of the society that dictated this principle.”
She jabbed him lightly on the ribs. “You’re impossible. You do one thing and yet you make fun of it.”
“I’m not. There are some things that you just can’t change.”
She pinched him.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“For being a chauvinistic jerk!”
He laughed. Then he tilted her chin up and kissed her.
The kiss deepened, became more passionate, and then suddenly, raging. Before she knew it, Justin began taking her on a passionate ride again.
When it was over, they were both catching their breaths.
Justin lay on his back and pulled her to him. She rested her head on his shoulder. After a minute, they were both asleep.
When she opened her eyes, she found herself still in Justin’s arms, naked, with a blanket tucked to her chin. She looked up. Justin had awoken already. He was watching a movie. He put the volume on low with the subtitles on, sort of like he was careful not to wake her up.
She just stared at his profile. His perfect nose. The cleft on his chin that was barely there at all. He was very handsome indeed.
He looked down at her. “Hey beautiful,” he whispered.
“How long have I slept?” she asked.
“Two, three hours? It’s already seven.”
She closed her eyes for a moment, then she stretched her arms and sat up, tucking the blanket under her arms.
He caressed the side of her waist. “Do you want to go out?” he asked.
“Where?”
He shrugged. “Just dinner. Anywhere your friends don’t normally hang out in so you won’t have to worry about anyone you know seeing you with Justin Adams.”
She peered at him, trying to see if he was angry about it. But he actually smiled this time.
“Okay. Just let me shower first.”
He nodded.
She got dressed. Then she kissed him on the cheek. “Pick me up at eight?” she asked, smiling.
“You bet.” He smiled back.
She took time getting ready. She wore a pair of white capri pants and a red sleeveless blouse that accented her curves, which she never paid much attention to before. She put on very light make up and tied her hair in a half-pony. Finally, she slipped into her while high-heeled sandals. She smiled at the sight of her reflection.
How come I never wore these clothes before?
The doorbell rang at exactly eight. Justin studied her for a whole minute when she opened the door.
“Should I change?” she asked.
He shook his head. “I’m thinking, let’s not go out at all. Let’s just stay here.”
She laughed. “Justin!”
He smiled. Then he pulled her close to him and whispered in her ear, “You’re a fox!” And he kissed her on the side of her neck.
She giggled. “Come on. Let’s go before you think of going farther.”
“Oh trust me, honey. I’m already thinking about it.”
She pinched him on the arm and laughed. “We just did what you were thinking about.”
He shook his head. “That was almost five hours ago.”
She pulled him towards the elevator. “Let’s go. I don’t sleep with a guy before a date.”
He laughed. “You’ve never slept with a guy before me, honey.”
She turned red. He laughed again and wrapped an arm around her waist.
“And that makes me so damn lucky!” he whispered and kissed her temple.
He took her hand in his. He led her to his Ferrari, and they drove to a Mexican restaurant in the City. Arrangements were already made so that they were seated in a secluded VIP area again.
