by Jerilee Kaye
“You look cute together, by the way.” Yuan smiled.
“Yes. Maybe the universe is pointing you to the right direction. Break up with Troy and go for Jin Starck.”
Adrienne shook her head. “You are unbelievable,” she groaned. “Jin is a kid!”
“He’s two years younger than you, silly! Two years don’t even count anymore when you’re past puberty!” Yuan argued.
“Anyway, suit yourself. We’re just saying that we think Jin Starck is interested in you. Otherwise, he wouldn’t ask you to come to the bar with him, right? It was like a lame excuse to get you on a date! He didn’t even care that you were still dressed in your office attire.”
Adrienne squeezed her temples. “You guys are giving me a headache!”
Her friends laughed. “No. Jin Starck is giving you a headache! You know he’s attractive. He’s smoookingg hot! You may be attracted to him, too, but you just refuse to admit it.”
“Just stop it, guys! I don’t picture Jin that way. He’s a client. And he’s way too young for me. Could we please drop this now?”
Jill shrugged and then she turned to Yuan. “Before we watch this clip, I’ll tell you a rumor I just heard. Tara Lambert, that hot lingerie model, in an interview was asked who she would like to go with her to her lingerie line’s grand launching. And you know what she said? Justin Adams.”
Adrienne stared at Jill. Pieces of her already shattered heart were somewhere on the floor and Jill was stepping all over them. Now, she wished they just stayed on the subject of Jin Starck!
“Even the supermodels have their eyes on him. What chance do we mortals have now?” Jill sighed.
“How could she even hear about Justin Adams?” Adrienne asked, trying to disguise the pain in her voice.
Jill shrugged. “Well, Tara used to be a lady bartender. She was discovered there. Probably met Justin Adams at a bar since he hangs out in these elite places.”
What Jill said only made Adrienne feel worse. Long legs, big boobs, perfect body, all bared and paraded on Fifth Avenue. Then that perfect Barbie in the flesh. Beautiful goddess who looked like an angel sent from heaven. What does the assistant editor-in-chief of Blush have to say to that?
“I hoped you asked him about this,” Yuan asked.
Jill beamed. “Right ahead of you, friend.”
Yuan got even more excited. “Let’s watch already!”
Jill hooked up her camera to Yuan’s flat screen. Adrienne didn’t want to watch but her friends forced her to. And if she refused even more, they might know that something was up. And she was not yet ready to confess to them. She needed to break up with Troy first. And that would only happen this weekend.
Justin’s handsome face appeared on the screen. Adrienne’s heart broke just a little bit more, if that was possible.
“I’ll tape this, if you don’t mind,” Jill said. “I’m bad at writing notes.”
Justin just shrugged. He didn’t look like he was in a good mood at all.
“How are you doing, Justin?” Jill began.
“Not bad,” he replied. “You might need to excuse me for not taking off my sunglasses though.”
“You got a shiner there?” Jill teased nervously.
“No not really. But I haven’t had much sleep lately.”
Jill asked about his credentials first. His age, education. Nothing Adrienne didn’t know about. Then Jill asked him about his hobbies and where he hung out more often.
“I go out with my friends, play poker with them,” he replied. “I also ski and snowboard with my cousins.”
“What’s your idea of perfect date or night out? With a girl, I mean.” Jill asked.
“Hmmm…tough one. But normally, I just like hanging out with her at home, cuddling…being with each other. Nothing grand, really. But that’s the point. If you like being with a person, it doesn’t matter where you are. You can have the best time of your life.”
His voice was so sincere that Adrienne felt like crying.
“Best date you ever had?” Jill asked again.
He laughed humorlessly. “Watching the Northern Lights in Alaska.”
“You actually took a girl in Alaska just to see the Northern Lights?” Jill asked.
“Yep, pretty much.”
“That’s a lot of effort for one date,” Jill said in a dreamy tone.
“Well… she was worth it,” Justin said in serious tone.
Jill and Yuan sighed in unison.
“You know the rumor that Tara Lambert is interested in you, what do you have to say to that?” Jill asked boldly.
Justin chuckled uneasily. Then he said, “I’m sorry. Who is Tara Lambert?”
“You know her. She’s the girl bold enough to show her twin C’s on the Fifth,” Jill said in a low voice.
Justin laughed. “You’re not going to print that, are you?”
Jill giggled. “Of course not.” She winked at him. “Okay, back to Tara Lambert, now that you know who she is. What do you have to say?”
Adrienne rolled her eyes.
Justin shrugged. “Well, rumors are rumors. I’m not sure if it’s true, though. But I’m not really looking for anything right now.”
Gees! That’s embarrassing!
“Really?” Jill asked. “Does that mean you have a relationship with someone now? Is she the one behind your car plate number? Ienne?” Jill was relentless.
Justin sighed. He bit his lip and thought for a while. Then he said, “I was deeply involved with someone. It’s a little… messed up now, but I still feel deeply involved.”
Jill was silent for a while. “What happened?”
He paused thoughtfully and then said, “On paper, you can write, ‘miscommunication,’” Justin said.
“Okay…but off the record?”
Justin stared at her for a moment. “Okay, promise not to print this, okay?”
Jill smiled wildly. “Sure, you can trust me on this. No one will ever see this video too.”
Liar! Adrienne thought about Jill.
“Okay, between you and me… my reputation preceded me… yet again. She thought I was cheating on her when she found a girl in my apartment.”
Jill giggled. “But Justin…if you have a girl in your apartment, then that would constitute cheating, right?”
“Depends on who the girl is,” Justin replied.
“Okay, so who was the girl?”
“Her name’s Ian. Short for Julianne. She’s my cousin, who visited me from a short college break,” Justin said soberly.
Ian? Gian’s twin. His cousin?!
Now, she remembered Gian and the girl she found in Justin’s apartment. Somehow, she realized how much they look alike.
Adrienne stared at Justin’s handsome face on the screen. She didn’t listen to any of his voicemails nor did she read any of his text messages.
Justin was smart and private enough not to confide to a stranger. And yet, here on camera, he freely told Jill what happened. Because he knew… she would see this. If she didn’t, then Jill would tell her.
Just as if it wasn’t enough that her heart remained broken, she could feel her world crashing all over her.
“Lucky girl, that one,” Jill said.
“Tell me about it. He really seemed into her. I mean, that’s a first. Justin Adams admitting to the world that he’s not really the cold and unattached playboy the world believed him to be. He can fall in love. That is just romantic,” Yuan said.
“I was too shy to ask him her name. Figured that would be too private. But if I knew, I’d hunt her down and tell her, thanks for making him single again, stooooppidd!!!”
“I kinda feel bad for him,” Yuan said. “A good guy with a bad reputation.”
Adrienne found herself lost in her own thoughts. She didn’t listen to him. She just immediately assumed that he slept with somebody else. Defense mechanism. She wanted to protect herself from getting hurt by him by immediately assuming that he would.
She felt like throwing up
. She felt like crying. And she knew she would. Right then and there. In front of her friends.
“Honey, are you okay?” Jill asked.
She nodded. “Excuse me,” she said to them and locked herself in Yuan’s bathroom. Luckily, her friends blamed her actions on her hangover.
She silently poured all the tears she’s been bottling up inside once she was alone in Yuan’s bathroom.
Now, she remembered everything Justin did for her. He was wonderful. He treated her far better than Troy ever did. But she didn’t give him a chance. She gave him a deaf ear and a blind eye. She had so convinced herself that he was the cheating type. That nothing good could ever come out of what they had anyway. That it was bound to end someday. And when they encountered a bump, she immediately gave up, and didn’t even fight for him, or gave him a fighting chance.
Oh, God! What have I done?
***
Next day, Adrienne saw Justin in Blush. He didn’t even look her way. She tried so hard not to cry. All she wanted to do is run to him and throw herself in his arms, but maybe it was too late for that now. She made her bed, she has to go lie in it!
She hurt him deeply. And she knew no matter what she did, she couldn’t get him back. At least, not yet. She had to fix herself first and remove all her excess baggage. Someday, when she’s free, when things no longer seemed complicated with her life, she just might give it a try again…she can try to win him back. Because she knew that Justin deserved to be more than just the guy on the sidelines.
However, it seemed that Justin’s recovery was coming at blinding speed. Every night, he was seen in bars, partying with his friends.
“You know what? A friend of mine saw Justin Adams in Oxygen last night. Clubbing with guess who? Tara Lambert,” Yuan said to her Friday night when Adrienne went out with them for dinner.
And he said he didn’t know her? Bet he does now!
“Well, girls like Tara Lambert have a certain advantage,” Jill said.
“Yes. They’re called C-cups!” Adrienne muttered under her breath.
“I wondered what happened to the girl he said he was ‘deeply’ involved in,” Yuan said, thoughtfully.
Jill shrugged. “She probably decided to stand by her stupidity. What do you say? One girl’s loss is another girl’s gain. In this case, it looks like Tara Lambert is on the winning end. It looks like he will be replacing his Porsche’s plate to spell T-A-R-A.”
“Yes. Until now, it still says the same name. He must have been really into her, huh,” Yuan said.
That made things even worse. Adrienne tried to endure thirty minutes of another Justin Adams conversation. Most of it, much to her pain, included how compatible he was with Tara Lambert.
“They would look good together, don’t you think?” Yuan asked.
Jill sighed. “Yeah, with her legs that go forever. Perfect curves. I don’t think she’s really pretty though. Her facial features are too strong, if you ask me. Justin’s face is aristocratic. If you ask me, features-wise, he would look great with someone who looks like a cold and yet angelic princess.”
“Sometimes, I think Tara Lambert’s face looked too boyish,” Yuan began. “But she’s got that appeal. Maybe that’s why she’s hot these days.”
Adrienne hated the feeling of not being able to tell her friends to shut the fuck up! Because it affected her. Because she’s in pain for ending things with Justin Adams for stupid reasons… for all the wrong reasons!
She received a call from Troy. Even though she knew she faced another problem, she was thankful with the distraction. She didn’t know where she was getting all the courage to endure the Justin-Tara loveteam talk.
“Hi Yen,” he greeted. “The convention is done. My parents are booking a weekend getaway for all of us.”
“Troy… can we talk first?” she asked. “I don’t think I should go to this thing with your parents.”
She heard a sound and then she was talking to Kim now. “Yenny! Mom and Dad will be onboard a flight tomorrow. They’ll meet us at the Seasons Holiday Resorts at noon. It’s in New York so you really don’t have an alibi.”
Adrienne closed her eyes for a moment. Damn! How could she not be given any peace with Troy so she can finally break things up with him?
Troy got the phone back from Kim. “We’ll pick you up at your apartment early in the morning.”
“Troy, we really have to talk,” she insisted.
“Then we’ll talk there. I have something to tell you too. We’ll pick you up at seven.”
Adrienne closed her eyes again and then she sighed. “Okay. I’ll see you.”
When she hung up the phone, she told her friends what she was going to do over the weekend.
“Let’s go!” Yuan said. “We’re coming with you!”
Adrienne figured this could be a good way to end things with Troy. She could talk to him during the weekend. At least, he won’t have too much pressure and he’s got his Sensei Kim to tell him what to do. Knowing Kim, she would support her in this decision. She was never happy with her relationship with Troy. Kim was Troy’s mother’s first pick anyway.
God! Kim was our own mother’s first choice for my boyfriend!
“They’re picking me up at seven.”
“Great!” Yuan responded. “I will call my agent. I’m sure they can book us. But we might go there later. Probably noontime. Which hotel are you staying at?”
“Seasons Holiday.” Adrienne sighed. “This will not be good.”
Yuan shrugged. “Come on. Now, that you are sure that you have to spread your wings and explore greener pastures, you have to find the courage to stand by your decisions, sweetie. No one said it is easy. But eventually, this should make you happier.”
“Yes. And we will go with you! Don’t worry. You have all the support you will need.”
“Look at you!” Yuan stated. “Since you got that apartment of yours, you have changed so much.”
“You’ve stopped wearing glasses. You’ve started re-evaluating your wardrobe. You let your hair down often. You’ve become Assistant Editor-in-Chief.”
“Made some money on stocks as well,” Adrienne added.
“You invested in stocks?” Yuan asked.
Adrienne realized that even her playing the odds on Wall Street was unknown to her friends.
“I gave it a try. And I had beginner’s luck. But it was fun and liberating, thinking I can earn so much more in some other way. I thought I was going downhill when I signed the mortgage papers. But I was luckier than I thought. Except for my mother, Kim and Troy, I can’t say that I have any right to complain about my life.”
If Justin was still with me, then things would have been perfect!
“And you’ve got an opportunity of meeting someone perfect for you.”
“You need not die a virgin!” Jill asserted with a mischievous smile. “And you can have your first time with someone who will wake up every single nerve in your body.”
I already have and I just lost him!
“All right. Jill and I are going to meet you there by noontime. I need to go to the office to sort out some things.”
“Yeah, me, too. I need to submit something to Jada first thing tomorrow.”
Adrienne’s hands felt cold and her heart was pounding in her chest. She knew that she had to go through with it. She might not have enough courage, but she believed she’d know when the time came. And she would be braver than she needed to be.
16. Verraten
German. Meaning Betrayed in English
“Come on, come on. Get ready, we’re leaving in thirty minutes,” Kim announced when she and Troy appeared at her doorstep.
“I’m ready,” Adrienne said but she still felt a bit sleepy.
She wasn’t able to get enough sleep the night before. She thought of ways of telling Troy that it’s the end of the line for their ‘pretend’ relationship. If he’s in the same boat with her, he wouldn’t mind. But if he really still loved her like he said, then it’s
going to be a nightmare. That’s not even mentioning that her heart still suffered every time she thought about Justin.
She wondered, will she by chance see Tara Lambert on the elevator? Is she the one warming his bed now? Would he take care of Tara the way he took care of her? Would he make her fall hopelessly in love with him?
She just hoped Tara or any other girl that Justin would be with would see him better than she did. Would believe in him more, and would trust him better. Justin deserved that.
They rode a taxi to the resort. Troy checked them in. His parents still hadn’t arrived.
“They’re coming with your parents late afternoon,” Troy said. Then he turned to Kim. “Kim, you’ll be in Room 204,” he said when he returned. “Adrienne, we’ll be in room 313.”
What?!?
Adrienne felt the first pangs of panic.
This cannot be happening.
“No, Troy,” she managed to say. “I will stay with Kim.”
“Why?” he asked sharply.
“Why not?” she asked back.
He raised a brow. He whispered to her angrily, “I’m your boyfriend, Adrienne. Your job is to stay by my side whenever you can.”
She raised her chin. “No, Troy. I’m not your bodyguard!”
He threw his hands up in the air.
“All right. Do whatever you like! You are so good at that anyway!”
She rolled her eyes and looked over at Kim.
Kim’s room was a bit small. It had a double bed though and a big couch.
“I can sleep on the couch, don’t bother,” she told Kim. “I guess Troy didn’t anticipate that I won’t be rooming with him.”
“What’s the fuss anyway, Yenny? It’s not like you’re still a virgin. We actually sleep with our boyfriends, you know. While you’re still single, you should have all the fun you like! You used to sleep around when you were young. Then you changed and became boring!”
She couldn’t believe she was hearing this from Kim. The prim, the proper, Kim. And yes, she knew that. A girl can sleep with her boyfriend. God! She can even sleep with someone else. And fall in love and get heartbroken. Kimberly didn’t need to lecture her on the world’s favorite secrets!
