Written Into Love

by Joe Lechene

  Eventually, I heard Tristan come into the room, sitting down on the futon behind me. This time though, he had his knees pulled up to his bare chest with his arms wrapped around them. I could tell just by looking at him that something was weighing on his mind. I stopped typing mid-sentence and got up from my desk. As I was walking over to him, I suddenly remembered what I was wearing. Changing my mind rather quickly, I went back to my room and threw on a pair of sweatpants before returning to my office. I sat down on the futon beside him and wrapped my arm around his slender back.

  “Tristan, what’s bothering you?”

  He sighed before he responded, “I was trying to talk to you before your call yesterday and I couldn’t bring myself to do it last night.”

  “I’m sorry, you know that you can talk to me about anything.”

  “I know, it was just… last night we had a good dinner. Then, I felt so content laying on the couch with you… I didn’t want to ruin it.”

  As I tried to pull him tight against me, his body stiffened under my grip. Now, I knew for sure that something was definitely wrong with him. He had never acted like this with me before. The concern that I had was making my stomach feel like it was full of rocks. The sudden dread that I felt about the possibility of losing him was making me sick.

  “Tristan, did you meet someone else? Are you moving out? Is that what you wanted to tell me?”

  I watched his face as the tears escaped his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. I wiped them away with my thumb and tightened my grip on his shoulder.

  Still not looking at me, he replied, “I did meet someone, actually.”

  A wave of nausea washed over me as I took in what he said. I couldn’t lose him, not after everything that we’ve been through. Not after finally admitting to myself that I was starting to fall for him. Losing him now would be like losing my right hand. I needed him in my life and couldn’t imagine going on without him living here. I could feel the tears starting to form, but I was trying desperately to hold them back from falling.

  “Really?”

  I could feel his chest heave under my arm, “Yeah, I did.”

  Trying to sound happy for him I said, “That’s awesome Tristan. Do I know him? Is it someone from work?”

  “Um, maybe. He’s a really great guy. And, he cares for me more than anyone else that I know.”

  “Well, that’s good.”

  Still not looking at me, he continued, “I’ve only ever really loved two men in my life. The first one was Erik. The other was a guy that took us into his home and gave us a chance to be happy together.”

  I suddenly lost any control over the tears waiting to escape. “Tristan…”

  “No Ian, please let me finish. This guy showed me more love than my own parents ever did for me. He would give me the shirt off his back to keep me warm. And, I don’t want to live my life without him by my side.”

  I turned him to face me and his legs dropped down, sliding over the top of mine. He still had his head facing down, preventing me from looking into those beautiful blue eyes. I took both of my hands and lifted his chin up. His eyes were red from crying, but the perfect light blue centers were looking right into my eyes. I took my thumbs and brushed the tears off his cheeks once again.

  “You asshole.”

  He raised an eyebrow questioningly as I moved my face closer to his. My lips gently connected with his, first just touching each other. Tristan closed his eyes with mine closing right after. He opened his lips and slowly started to kiss mine. It was a very soft kiss, I could tell that both us were extremely nervous.

  Then he wrapped his arms around me, with one on my back and the other on the back of my head. He pulled me in deeper, opening his mouth to me. I accepted the invitation and let my tongue graze across the front of his teeth. Being with him like this felt so right and so wrong at the same time. I broke the kiss off and pulled my head back from him.

  “Tristan, are you sure that this is what you really want?”

  He nodded back at me before replying, “Yes, and believe me, I’ve been putting a lot of thought into it. If the situation was reversed, I’m pretty sure that Erik would have done the same thing. He loved you a lot, even though he never showed it. He would have wanted me to be happy and I’m the happiest when I’m with you.”

  “Does this mean…?”

  “Ian, can I be yours and yours alone?”

  I didn’t even stop to think before I responded, “Yes!”

  The tears started flowing again and this time I didn’t even care. I pulled Tristan back into me and kissed him with everything that I had. As he kissed me back, I let my hands roam down his backside until they were at the top of his shorts. In the meantime, one of his hands wandered down my chest. Eventually stopping at the light hairs beneath my belly button, running his fingers through them. I was getting nervous, but Tristan touching me was easing the tension. Holding him and kissing his lips made this feel almost second nature. Right as his fingers started to work under the tight waistband on my pants, my phone started to ring.

  “Fuck,” he said, “not again.”

  I sighed before inching back, “I have to take this call, we’ll continue this, I promise.”

  When I looked at the caller ID, it was, of course, my publisher. I accepted the call and put my phone to my ear. After listening to her rant for a few minutes, she finally inquired if I would be able to do a photo shoot for my cover picture. It had been a year since my last one and she was not accepting any excuses. Apparently, she scheduled it for this morning and completely forgot to tell me about it. Not wanting to bite the hand that fed me, I told her that I would be there for it.

  Upon hanging up the phone, I walked over to futon where Tristan was now stretched out on his back. He had his hands behind his head, exposing the dirty-blond tuffs of hair lining his armpits. This guy could definitely be a tease and he knew how to flaunt it. I hovered over him, placing my hands on his biceps. It was as if he knew exactly what turned me on the most. I lowered my head until our noses were touching, with our lips barely an inch apart.

  “Don’t hate me, but I have to run uptown for a photo shoot.”

  He lifted his pelvis off the futon, pushing himself into me. “Now?”

  I brushed my lips against his and briefly kissed his lips. “Yes, now. I promise that I’ll make this up to you. You can even come with me if you’d like.”

  I could hear a low growl escape his throat as his butt returned to the futon. His gaze never broke away from mine, although I could see the disappointment in his eyes. “Fine, let’s get going.”

  Pushing myself up from Tristan, I got off the futon and pulled him reluctantly up too. I led him out of my office and kissed him again before he went into his room to change. After going into my room, I looked through the closet for my good suit. I could have killed my publisher for doing this to me on such short notice, especially today of all days.

  After making myself look as presentable as I was going to get, I walked back down the hall to the living room. Tristan was already dressed and sitting on the couch waiting for me. He looked so adorable sitting there, with his black skinny jeans and a black hoodie on. I hated doing this to him, but at least he was trying to be supportive. Of course, it was my books that paid the bills. I walked over to him and he stood up.

  After a quick peck on the lips, he said, “Damn, you look fucking hot in that suit.”

  “Oh, really?”

  He rested his head on my shoulder and nodded into it while running his hands down the front of my suit jacket. I was starting to get the impression that controlling myself around him was going to be harder than I thought. Lifting my arm up behind his head, I glanced at my watch. As much as I would have liked to stay like this, we were already running late.

  “Tristan, we have to get going.”

  He lifted his head up from my shoulder and kissed me again before we headed out of the apartment.

  …

  Apparently, I wasn’t the only o
ne getting their picture taken today. There were several other authors from the New York City area at the office waiting. I talked to a couple of them that I knew while we waited. Tristan sat beside me the whole time, holding my hand in his. I think that his subtle need for affection was one of the things that I loved about him the most. It didn’t even seem to bother him being in a place where he knew absolutely nobody.

  When my time came, Tristan followed me into the room that they were using for the pictures. He leaned back against the wall with his arms crossed and stared at me the whole time. I had trouble taking direction from the photographer since my gaze kept returning to the little smile on Tristan’s face.

  After the photographer was finally done getting all the shots that he wanted, we left the room. I wrapped my arm around my boyfriend and looked at my watch. “Shit, it’s after one already. You have to be at work at two.”

  “Fuck,” Tristan replied, “we better get moving then.”

  I had wanted to introduce Tristan to my publisher, but that would have to wait now for another time. We ran down the stairs and I hailed a taxi out front. There wasn’t time for us to make it back taking the subway. As soon as we got back home, Tristan went to his room and changed into his work clothes. I really felt bad about losing the morning with him, especially after everything that happened. However, I was going to make it up to him when he got off work.

  When he came back out with his black dress shirt on and his hoodie in his hands, I gave him another kiss before walking out the door with him. I didn’t normally walk him to work, but today was different. I walked with him the few blocks to the restaurant with his hand in mine the whole time. At least in The Village, people didn’t look at us when they walked by. When we got to the restaurant, Tristan kissed me again before heading inside. This was something that I could definitely get used to.

  After getting him to work on time, I headed to the store to get some things for tonight. I wasn’t kidding when I told him that I would make this morning up to him. Considering the number of gay smut novels that I’ve written, I had somewhat of an idea of how to have a romantic evening. I just had never done it before, even with my previous boyfriends. This time though, I wasn’t going to make the same mistakes that I had in the past.

  …

  ‘A thin sheen of sweat was covering my lover’s torso as I slowly made love to him. He shivered and moaned as each one of my thrusts hit his sweet spot. As he begged for more while biting on the side of my neck, I honored his wishes pushing myself even deeper inside him. The event ended sooner than I was expecting when he exploded between us, covering both of our stomachs with his juices. At the same time, I growled into his ear and I felt myself spasm inside him.’

  XI

  When my boyfriend came out the back door of the restaurant, I wrapped my arm around his waist and walked beside him on the way home. My boyfriend, fuck, that was still a concept that I was trying to get used to. Yes, I loved him deeply and yes, I wanted to be intimate with him. But, it was still strange thinking about him as being mine. Either way, I was looking forward to spending the evening with him. I had everything set up before I left to get him from work. I could only hope that tonight would make up this morning.

  As soon as we walked into the apartment, I sent him to get a shower and change. Tristan didn’t question me as he walked down the hall. While he was showering, I lit the candles on the table and got the dinner that I had prepared for us ready. When he came back into the living room, the look of shock on his face was worth every bit of effort that I went through. The dinner that I made wasn’t anything spectacular, but it was a nice change for us. All of the lights were off except for the table lamps. The candles combined with the lamps lit the dinner table enough to see what was on it.

  I sat Tristan down in his usual chair with my homemade spaghetti and meatballs in front of him. He looked at the meal in front of him before looking at me. The gleam in his eyes told me everything that I needed to know. He was completely overwhelmed by the setting before him. I had told him that I was going to make this morning up to him and I was not one to disappoint.

  Tristan said, “Thank you, Ian. I can’t believe that you did all of this for me. This is amazing.”

  I leaned across the table and kissed his cheek. “I told you that I’d make this morning up to you.”

  “Um, can we say grace first?”

  Never in the two and a half years had either of the guys wanted to pray before eating. In fact, I didn’t even think that Tristan was still into a religion. But if that is what he wanted, then I wasn’t going to object.

  “Of course.”

  He took my hand in his before starting. “Lord, bless this food and the person that made it. And please, be with Erik, I know that he’s up there somewhere. I miss you buddy and I hope that you don’t get upset about me being with Ian. Amen”

  “Amen.”

  Tristan started crying and gripped my hand tighter. Never in a million years would I have thought that he would do that. Of course, coming from a deeply religious family, I didn’t question his motives. I guess it was something that he needed to do, so he would feel better about moving on. Tristan got up from his chair and came over to me. I slid my chair back from the table and Tristan sat on my lap, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. Holding his head beside mine, he finished crying on my shoulder. When he was done, he sat back and looked at me.

  “I’m sorry Ian, I didn’t think that I’d break down like that.”

  “It’s alright Tristan, what you said was beautiful.”

  “I didn’t mean to ruin dinner. That was just something that I needed to do.”

  “I know it was. And you didn’t ruin anything, but we need to eat soon before it gets cold.”

  He smiled back at me while wiping the remnants of the tears off his face. Tristan got up from my lap and returned to his chair. He took the bottle of parmesan cheese off the table and sprinkled it all over his plate. After he sat the bottle back down, Tristan started to dig into his food. I think that I spent more time watching him eat than actually eating my own. It kind of caught me off guard when he finished his plate before I even ate half of mine. Tristan sat back in his chair, slowly drinking his glass of water while I finished the rest of my meal. When my plate was finally clean, I sat down my fork and looked at the guy sitting beside me.

  Tristan wiped his mouth and said, “That, was absolutely delicious.”

  “I could tell that you liked it from the way that you were inhaling it.”

  He replied, “Well, it’s not like I ate anything else today. I was hungry and it was really good.”

  I started to stand up and pick my empty plate up from the table when Tristan grabbed my wrist. “Please,” he softly said, “let me take care of the dishes. Why don’t you go pick out something for us to watch? Unless you were planning on spending the rest of the night working.”

  “Thank you, Tristan. I’ll go find us a movie. No work for me tonight, this time is for you.”

  Tristan smiled and started cleaning up the dishes while I went to the bookcase beside the tv. I couldn’t really decide what to watch and I had a feeling that neither of us would be paying much attention to it anyway. I ended up settling on ‘The Maze Runner’ and started the movie. By the time that it came up to the menu screen, Tristan had joined me in the living room. I started the movie and laid down on the couch, with Tristan laying on his side in front of me once again.

  After about half an hour into it, my hand moved under his tank and started rubbing his smooth stomach. It didn’t take long for him to push his backside into me, slowly grinding against me. My hand started to wander further upward, grazing over his defined chest. Bending down slightly, I started to kiss the side of his neck as he grabbed onto my arm. His little butt grinding into me was having the effect that he was after.

  I rolled us over, with me ending up on top of him. I pushed his arms up and held them in place by his biceps like I had this morning. Tristan was being com
pletely submissive to me and I can’t say that I wasn’t enjoying it. I leaned down and kissed my boyfriend. He responded back, pushing his mouth into mine. Reluctantly, I broke off the kiss and lifted my head up from his, still keeping my grasp on his arms.

  “Tristan, are you sure that you want to do this? I’m not sure if I’ll be able to stop myself if we go any further.”

  “Fuck Ian,” he replied. “I want it. I want you. I need you.”

  “Baby, I don’t want to move too fast.”

  “Ian, just shut up and make me yours before that fucking phone rings again.”

  I smiled and sat up on the couch, pulling Tristan up with me. After getting up, I held his hand as I led him down the hall to my room. Once I had Tristan against the bed, I pulled his black tank top over his head and threw it on the floor. My t-shirt was soon to follow as I pushed him back onto the bed.