by J. Nichole
“It’s too bad we can’t, ‘cause on days when I want to see you, hear your voice, get a reply to a text”—he nudged my arm—“I feel it’s disturbing you.” I closed my eyes briefly ‘cause although we hadn’t made anything official-official, this speech felt like a breakup. “I’ve been there, I know what it’s like to work and need to study, but man, I think you beat me in every aspect of the word studious ‘cause I never spent as much time in the books.”
I kept my comment to myself. Being in medicine, there wasn’t any room for error. I had to give it my all or someone’s life could suffer as a result. Being in business there could be a life altering mistake due to lack of knowledge, the chances were much slimmer, but I didn’t remind him of that. “You have a primary care doctor, right.” Nick nodded his head. “Last time you were there for a visit, what if he accidentally read your blood tests wrong and prescribed an unnecessary medicine that could kill you?”
Yeah my example was extreme, but it made my point. Nick rubbed his hand across his chin. “I get it. I really do. I just wish things could be different.” We finished eating our food but the mood had been dampened. As much as I wanted to lay with him more I felt the shift in his attitude; he was consumed by his thoughts.
If we had just kept it to fucking we wouldn’t have had this issue. We had to go catching feelings. After a couple of hours of trying to get our swing back, he called it a night and said, “I should get going.” I walked him to the door and our goodbye felt final. His hug was a little tighter, but neither of us made plans for a future date. I watched him walk down the hall, and envisioned him walking out of my life.
Chapter 10
However brief my situationship with Nick was, the finale sucked. Like I would have liked a season two to wrap up all the loose ends, to see where this thing was going, but it was over. It’d been a couple of weeks since we last saw each other and the same time since I stopped checking my phone for my regularly scheduled texts.
I could be naive and hold out till the text came, but the last literally told me everything I needed to know.
Nick: I never thought I’d be the one to say, I hate being a booty call.
Nick: Guess I’m growing up and shit, but I don’t see this working for us.
Did I reply? Nope. What was there to say? He’d made up his mind. I did think back to our last conversation though, and whether I told him how much I liked him. Maybe, just maybe had I voiced that he would have just stuck the course till I finished med school.
Hell, I might as well be carving out time for him, ‘cause sitting in front of these books was pointless when all I could think about was him. Tomorrow I’d be in his home state and we couldn’t even talk about it. He couldn’t reminisce with me about where he grew up, suggest places for me to visit.
Not like I hadn’t been to Georgia before, but still, it would have been nice to hear him tell me his favorite spots. I highlighted a passage in my text and closed it up for the night.
My carry-on was packed for the trip. I wasn’t bringing much ‘cause the new airline policies damn near wanted us to pay extra for everything. Need a seat? Fifty bucks. Need your luggage? Fifty bucks. Want a drink to quench your thirst? Ten bucks. After paying six hundred for the ticket I was tempted to stand in the aisle in three layers of clothes to avoid any extra cost.
After my shower I laid in the bed and sniffed my pillow. Nick’s scent was still lingering since that perfect Monday. Okay, it would probably be gone had I washed the sheets, but I didn’t want to lose the smell.
My Uber driver arrived promptly and didn’t even question me when I asked he take a certain route to the airport. The street he would navigate would bring me past the bar where Nick worked. I, myself, couldn’t bring myself to drive down this street let alone visit my favorite Thai spot. But in this car I’d be unnoticeable, and I just wanted to be stalkerish, maybe I’d catch a glimpse of him walking into work.
I was being shameful, my flight was an eight a.m. flight. The damn bar wasn’t even open. Instead of the live action view I hoped for, I settled for a still image. I scrolled through my phone and stared at the one and only picture Nick and I had taken, in front of Tower Bridge after that bike ride. The sky had turned a peach hue, serving as a beautiful backdrop to my helmet hair.
I was lost in the moment, not even trying to fix my hair, and the smile spread across my face was evidence of that. And the smile on his face, was sexy enough to give me butterflies.
The driver slowed near the curb and it was time for me to face reality. I stepped out of the car and with my small carry-on went into the security line of the airport.
After four hours of studying on the plane, I was excited when the pilot announced our descent. I was ready for time with my girls, to kick it, drink, and laugh. They would all be picking me up from the airport since I was the last to arrive and I looked for them outside of the terminal.
Nicole pulled up in a drop-top Benz and I shouted, “Damn, bitch.” They all hopped out and ran over to embrace me. “You didn’t tell me you were pushing a drop-top.” I looked at Nicole who was bent over laughing.
“Don’t get too excited, it’s just for the weekend. Thought we could all afford to let our hair down a bit.” She poked me in the side. “Especially you.” After my revelation to the girls about falling for Nick, it crushed me to have to tell them it was over. They didn’t hound me too much for not trying to work it out, but I was sure I’d hear a mouthful while I was in their face.
We took off down 285, and Nicole picked up speed as soon as the traffic lightened up. The wind was whipping in my face, but the air was refreshing, it also reminded me of being on the back of the bike. I watched the Atlanta skyline pass as we made our way to downtown. The girls were singing along with Beyoncé, loudly, ‘cause they had to outperform the wind, or each other.
Between songs, Laila asked, “Are you okay?” I nodded my head then shrugged my shoulders.
My eyebrows bunched and I poked her chest. “What are these?” I asked in my best Shuri voice. When I saw the girls at the airport I hadn’t noticed Laila’s enlarged breasts. “Is this what breastfeeding has done for you?” Laila was petite through college, not flat chested but nothing noteworthy. But now? She could work a titty bar with the best of them.
She laughed and nodded her head. “Nice try though doc, what’s going on?” I was saved by the bell, we reached our destination and Nicole was parking. “Whatever it is we are drinking that shit away. I have a few days of milk stored in the freezer at home, so I can indulge this weekend.” She shook her titties and I laughed.
We had arrived at the beloved Old Lady Gang restaurant. “So tell me again what happened to Gladys?” Jennifer asked Nicole as we walked into the restaurant that smelled like heaven on earth and was just as packed as Gladys’ would have been.
“Her son was mismanaging the money, and that led to all sorts of drama, till finally they had to shut the shit down.” Nicole looked at us with a frown. “And chicken and waffles will never be the same, anywhere else.” As we sat down looking over the menu, we laughed about our trip many years ago to Atlanta and our visit to Gladys Knight’s.
“And didn’t you sneak out and sex that old man?” Laila looked at me with her eyebrows raised. After all these years I had forgotten about that little tryst. Funny she’d remember all that about me, that weekend was a crazy one for her with Chris popping up unannounced.
I finished my bite of catfish and wiped my mouth. “That weekend was a wild one.” I thought back to the stalkerish old guy I met. “I remember almost needing to block dude from calling. Once he had a taste he couldn’t resist.”
Nicole’s eyebrows danced and she added, “So we can say you’ve been reeling them in and shaking them off for years?” I rolled my eyes and the girls laughed. That’s not entirely true, I dated a couple of guys in undergrad. “Girl, stop. You and I were in the same boat. It’s cool. We weren’t like Jennifer and Laila, settling down didn’t exactly suit us.” Jennifer and
Laila wagged their heads in agreement. “But eventually, you will.” We talked about Nicole’s wedding plans, and like Laila’s wedding events, I saw money flying out of my bank account.
“Make sure you get your tickets ASAP.” Laila glared at me. “Don’t wait till the last minute again.” None of them had to worry about money. They all were marrying into loads of it. It was me that would have to pinch pennies to arrange for flights and hotels, outfits.
But instead of reminding them of this I said, “Don’t worry, it’s on my to-do list.” We finished our meals and headed to the boutique for the dress fitting. I was glad when Nicole let us have unique dresses, because when we all tried to fit into the same dress type for Laila’s wedding, my ass, hips, and tits outshined them.
Since I chose a dress that had a curve fitting bodice with a flared waist my back needed to be on point, and I needed more time in the gym. My back fat wasn’t invited to the wedding and she better not show up. I modeled my dress in front of the girls and they all clapped. The coral managed to look good on all of us, even though we were each different shades of cocoa.
I twirled in my dress once before removing it, and the thought of spinning on the dance floor without a date saddened me. Nick would have been a perfect date, I thought, and I’m sure he would have loved to be in his home state for those days. I took a deep breath and unzipped my dress, no point in dwelling on what could’ve been.
Each of us set in the mirrored room waiting for Nicole to make her final appearance in her dress. We were adorned with a glass of champagne each and laughing about our days back at L.U. until Nicole walked out and we gasped. “Nicole, oh my goodness, turn around,” Laila said as we watched Nicole slowly turn exposing each angle of her body fitting, off white, lace wedding dress.
“I still can’t believe Bryan designed this,” Jennifer added. Bryan was an artist, and asked Nicole if he could sketch out a few designs for her to have a custom wedding dress. He had yet to see the dress she selected, but when he did I believe he’d have a stronger appreciation for it.
“It’s gorgeous,” I gushed. “Not like he needs a side gig”—I snapped my fingers—“but if he did, this is definitely it.” Nicole told us about her designer who made Nick’s sketches a reality, a black fashion school student she found from Atlanta. “Look at y’all supporting the arts and shit.” We all laughed and after the seamstress pinned a couple of spots on the dress, we were walking out of the boutique.
Nicole’s extra ass didn’t just stop at the drop-top, she didn’t want us crowded into her apartment, so she rented a suite at the Loews. We climbed into the elevator talking about our plans for the night, and the next day, and I had to stop and acknowledge the truth. “Look, y’all asses rubbed off on all the luck with the dudes.” I looked at each of them. “Just don’t forget about me when y’all are jet-setting the world on your exotic vacations.” I guess the champagne had a different effect on me than the Moscow Mule I had earlier.
Laila placed a hand on my shoulder and said, “And here goes emo Monica.” She smiled. “You are family. You’ll be everywhere we are”—she looked up to the ceiling—“your schedule permitting.”
The truth serum seeped a little further and I admitted my true concern as we walked into the suite. “And I wouldn’t be the seventh wheel?”
“Seventh wheel?” Nicole rolled her eyes. “Really?” I nodded my head as I sat down my carry-on bag. Nicole looked at all the girls and they gathered around me as they sat me at the end of the bed. It felt like some Iyanla type shit, and they were about to fix my life.
“We were saving this for the last day.” I looked at each of them with my eyes scrunched and my lips tight. I waited for Nicole to continue. “We’ve been hoping you’d come to this conclusion on your own, but since you haven’t we felt as your closest friends we should be the ones to tell you.” I felt my heart beat quicken and I rubbed my hands together. They were really staging an intervention.
“You need to find a way to fix this situation with Nick,” Laila said calmly. “You haven’t been this happy in a long time, and you deserve to be happy and have someone who makes you happy.”
“Listen, if nobody else knows it I do,” Jennifer interrupted. “I settled for the safety of Derek for years, but it didn’t make my heart happy. When I met Aiden I knew things were different when my whole outlook on life changed.” She sat beside me and grabbed my hand. “That morning you called all of us to tell us about Nick, I knew you found something in him.” She cocked her head. “Is it so bad that all he’s asking is for more of your time?”
She was right, they were all right. “That’s just it though, I can’t create more time.”
Nicole put her hand on her hip and said, “Says the girl who found time to fly across the country and kick it with her girls.” I pinched her hip. “Ouch, I’m serious. You think it’s going to get any easier when you finish your residency? Studying will be replaced with something else.”
When Nicole became the sensible one, I had no idea. “This all sounds grand.” I waved my hands in the air. “I can’t just fall back into step with him. He may have met someone else, not be interested in trying again, any other number of things.”
Laila smacked her lips. “Won’t know till you try.”
Chapter 11
Actions speak louder than words. That’s what I kept repeating to myself as I waltzed into the bar. It was thirty minutes before closing time on a Tuesday night, and the place was empty. The brunette saw me from the other end of the bar and smiled widely.
She sauntered over to me, her smile still wide, and placed a glass of Violetta on the bar in front of me. “Welcome back,” she said. “He’s in the kitchen.” She nodded over her shoulder. “But before I go get him”—she leaned over the bar— “he’s just gotten back to a good place. Don’t ruin him again.” It was at that point that I realized she wasn’t just a sweet, smiling face, she was a friend. One he deserved.
“I promise.” I held my hand to my heart as she turned away. She didn’t make it far because Nick had already returned from the kitchen carrying containers for the lone man sitting at the bar. When our eyes connected I didn’t feel the same welcome I received from the brunette, but I didn’t let that scare me, I mouthed, “Hey.”
He nodded his head and finished with the man. Even after he was finished he left me hanging, starting his nightly routine while I watched and sipped my wine. My wine was finished before he had finished his routine, and I contemplated leaving. I watched as the brunette walked out, and when it was just the two of us I was happy the background music was still playing, although quietly.
“Need anything else?” Nick stood in front of me, his face lacking a smile. My eyes bulged. I had never seen anything but kindness from him, and the ice treatment threw me off.
“Do you have time to talk?” I asked, building my courage to tell him what I should have said weeks ago.
He chuckled. “I”—he put his hand to his chest—“have plenty of time.” The irony didn’t fall short, and his biting sarcasm almost made me reconsider what I wanted to say.
“Alright I get it.” I looked at my hands quivering in my lap. “I should have told you before, I like you, I like you a lot.” His mouth opened to interrupt, but I continued. “I didn’t show it by not making time for you. The last thing I would ever want to do is make you feel like a booty call.” Talk about role reversals.
He leaned against the bar, his arms crossed and his eyebrows arched. “If you are willing to give it another shot, I’d like to prove to you how much I like you,” I said watching as his lips curved into his sexy smile.
“I appreciate what you’ve said, and I wouldn’t mind trying again.” He reached across the bar for my hand. “And just know I won’t do anything to cause you to jeopardize med school.”
“And Monica,” he said, “I’m glad you told me how you feel.” He laughed to himself. “’Cause before I was like damn, she didn’t tell me she liked me back, didn’t respond to my tex
t messages. I was thinking you were a cold-hearted chick. Then I thought it was Karma, back to avenge all the women I had told I didn’t want to be in a relationship.” He shook his head. “You had me all sorts of messed up.”
With my shoulders shrugged, I said, “I have that effect on men.” I winked before leaning over the bar and taking his lips, sucking in the bottom one as I grabbed the back of his head. The kiss had to end because I could only balance myself over the bar for so long.
Nick rubbed his fingers across the remnants of my kiss on his lips and asked, “What’s next?”
I looked at my watch and replied, “I have work in the morning,” I paused to watch his eyes spread wide, “but I’d love for you to sleepover.” And by sleepover I meant I’d love for him to spread my legs wide, suck on that lollipop, bang my back out, and rock me to sleep. But I kept those thoughts to myself ‘cause I didn’t want him to feel I just wanted him for his dick. “It’s been a while since I’ve had a lunch date, I usually study during my lunch hour, but if you want to meet me near the clinic, then—” And he stopped me.
“Let me meet you at your place. I need to grab clothes.” He walked to the kitchen and returned with his backpack. We linked hands and walked out together. “Monica,” my name from his mouth always made me shudder. “Don’t fall asleep.” I told him I wouldn’t fall asleep, but he better not keep me waiting too long.
The knock came at the door soon after my shower. I pulled a tee over my head to answer the door. It barely covered my ass and caught all Nick’s attention as he walked into my apartment behind me. “I missed all of that,” he mumbled. He followed me to my room and caught up with me before I laid in the bed. With an arm wrapped around me from behind he kissed my neck. “We have some catching up to do.” I felt his dick rising between my ass and I released a soft moan. “Let me hop in the shower.” He released me and headed for the bathroom.
