He would have perceived it as interest in her and disloyalty to him—and, if I were honest, I had always found her absolutely stunning. He must have seen it in my gaze, even if I’d never acted upon it. I had respected him and kept a distance from her, even though I’d always found myself drawn to her inexplicably.
But today, when I had seen the depth of her fear of the others, it brought instant remorse. It had been so much more than harmless cat fights.
No one deserved to feel like they had to constantly watch their back at home—in the very place they should feel safest. At that moment, I had decided I would protect her, even if she wanted nothing to do with me.
I was done being a guilty bystander because of my silence.
Jameson carried a deep hatred of her but had never explained why exactly. Obviously, I’d always assumed it was because of Maya's death, but I could never fathom why he thought it Kira's fault. She was a defenseless, young human. What could she have done to stop the Daimona?
My breath fell from my mouth in ragged pants as my hands continuously clenched, my nails digging into the soft flesh of my palms. Inside, my wolf was furious but also hurt. He considered Jameson pack. Family.
Kira was our mate though, and she would always come first now.
I made the walk to the alpha's cabin in no time, partially because it was central to everything, but also because my wolf insisted I handle this problem quickly so we could go back to Kira.
The elders said that mate bonds weren't solidified until they were consummated. Until that happened, the wolves would feel restless and agitated.
Not bothering with niceties, I flung the door open, spit flying from my mouth as I bellowed, “Where the fuck are you? Jameson, you piece of shit!”
Furiously glancing around, my breathing was now rapid and shallow as my blood boiled, and my wolf demanded blood in retribution for his actions. Even in this haze of rage, I questioned how my wolf could think about going against the wolf that should have been our alpha.
Maybe Kira was the real alpha. I hadn't forgotten about the mysterious glow to her fur, nor the crescent mark on her head. There was something unique about her, beyond the fact that everyone had thought she was a human this whole time, which still baffled me.
When I received no response from Jameson, I stormed past his foyer and living room, both littered with bottles of empty alcohol and dirty dishes. It was repulsive and really showed me the extent of how poor his mental health had been recently. He was normally extremely tidy—annoyingly so when he unconsciously organized my home.
Kicking bottles out of my path, they skittered across the floor and down the hallway that led towards his bedroom. Maya’s old paintings, normally proudly displayed on his walls, were all slashed through and either hung by one nail on the wall or lay on the ground.
What the fuck?
Some of my anger bled out of me at the sight, replaced by an alarm that worked like an electric shock to my system, stalling me in my tracks to survey the damage.
"Dammit," I muttered beneath my breath as I bent over to collect the fallen art, gathering the pieces in my arms before bringing the tattered remains to his dining room table. It would destroy him all over again when he saw what he had done to one of his few remaining ties to his mom.
Taking a moment to breathe deeply, I dragged my hands over my face, rubbing the skin roughly, before releasing my pent up anger. I wouldn't beat the shit out of Jameson, but I would make it known that his behavior wasn't acceptable and that I wouldn't hang around to pick up the pieces for him when he dug his head out of his ass and realized the mess he had made out of his mate bond.
He was on his own to repair that damage.
Making the trek down the long hallway once more, I pushed open the door to his bedroom and found him lying on his back with his arms out to the side. He seemed calm, with his eyes closed and breathing steady, adding to my confusion at his actions.
"Jameson," I called from the doorway and received no response despite my proximity. The fucker could definitely hear me.
His room was spotless, making me wonder if he had even used his bedroom in the past few days. The stark difference from the rest of the home was quite the conundrum. His dark wood floors shone like they had been polished recently, his open closet showed all of his clothes neatly hung, while his king size bed remained perfectly made beneath his body.
I'd venture to guess that he had purposefully lain near the bottom of his bed as to not fuck up the stupid assortment of decorative pillows he used.
With a few steps I neared the edge of the bed and kicked his foot, "Dude. What the fuck is wrong with you?"
My question was a complex one, as it could be applied to many facets of his life right now. The dude was a wreck.
He grunted in response, to which I snarked back, "That's extremely enlightening, please, tell me more."
"Fuck off, Seth," He managed to croak out while holding up his middle finger.
I retreated to the nearest wall and leaned against it to settle in for this conversation.
"What you did to Kira was—" Before I finished my sentence, he sprung off the bed and came at me in a fury. He raised his fist, poised to hit me, but he was extremely predictable when anger clouded his head, and I saw it coming. Dropping down, I rammed my shoulder into his stomach and kept pushing until his back slammed into his dresser on the far side of the room.
His fists repeatedly punched my back, but I barely felt them from his poor angle. They held no real strength behind them. It annoyed me though, like a gnat flying around my face, and I didn't want to deal with this for long. Sending a few swift punches to Jameson’s ribs, I heard him growl at me before kicking his knee up into my stomach.
Backing off, we stood panting and staring each other down. Barely a sliver of the man I grew up with gazed back at me, and I realized that I might not be able to pull him out of this hole he had chosen to bury himself in.
I couldn't bear the weight of leaving him alone right now on my conscience though. If I decided to walk away from this friendship for the time being, I would do so with the knowledge that I’d tried everything I could to help my brother climb out this darkness that had seeped into his mind.
"I don't want to fight you, Jameson." I pointed at the bed, "Sit the fuck down and listen to me. I'll leave you alone after that."
His eyes glared daggers at me, but he begrudgingly accepted my demand, walking a few feet to sit on the edge of the bed. As he did, his face took on a look of amusement before claiming, "If you think there is anything you can say that will make me change my mind about that human whore, you're on some good drugs."
Without hesitation, I took a step and landed a punch square on his jaw, snapping his head back.
He didn't bother fighting back this time, instead choosing to continue to rile me by laughing. "Wow, she must have a magical pussy for you to—". This time my fist chose his mouth, since he wanted to spew all that shit out of it.
Spitting blood out onto his floor, he smiled at me, his white teeth coated in crimson blood and his eyes gleaming with hostility. "You're making this too easy, Seth."
A stream of blood escaped the corner of his mouth when he spoke, but he didn't bother to wipe it away. Arching an eyebrow at me, he smirked, "Still want to have this talk, or have you realized that I truly don't give a shit about anything you want to say?"
Taking a few steps back, I put my hands into the pockets of my joggers and decided it was my turn to laugh. "You think you're too good for Kira? I find that amusing as you're the one living in a pigsty, tearing apart the remaining links you have to your dead mother, and wallowing in anger in your bed."
His jaw ticked as he clenched it, trying to not show how much my words affected him, but I decided to really test his feelings with my next statement. "Meanwhile, Kira is probably having the night of her life, coming all over one of her other mate's cock."
And that's when I knew he gave a shit about Kira.
He sprung
off the bed with a wild look to his eyes, seconds before shifting into his wolf. The large white animal lunged at me, but I refused to show any fear. He knocked me to the ground and placed a large paw with sharp claws against my chest, pressing down enough to draw a small amount of blood. His snarling mouth, dripping with saliva stopped a mere inch away from my own, but neither I nor my wolf would look away from him.
He wasn't above us anymore.
Speaking in a calm tone, I continued my conversation, knowing he would still hear and understand me. "You deny yourself a fated mate bond, for what? Misplaced anger? Guilt about finding happiness? Whatever your answer, it isn't good enough. What you did to Kira, and what you're doing to your wolf by rejecting her, is despicable."
His wolf whined for a moment and shook his head, backing away from me. The shift was seamless as Jameson appeared again next to me on the floor.
Not giving him a moment to interrupt, I continued, "I refuse to be around someone so destructive when I have something incredible waiting for me out there. You're my brother, but in this, I can't stand by your side."
His head hung, eyes fixated on the floor beneath him. Lumbering to my feet, I glanced at him once more before heading out the door. As I walked down the hallway I tossed back, "It isn't too late to grovel at her feet and pray to Selene that she'll take you back."
"That'll never fucking happen," was his response, spoken so low that I barely heard it as I made my way towards the front door. Shaking my head at his obstinance, I shrugged my shoulders as if to let all of this roll off my back, and I exited his home.
I wouldn't carry the weight of his choice, I promised myself. It was his cross to bear.
Chapter Eleven
Kira
An overwhelming heat radiating against my back stirred me from my sleep. Soft breaths from Milo's mouth blew against the top of my head, sending small pieces of my hair into my face, tickling my nose. Reaching up to knock the loose strands away, I took a minute to bask in this moment with him.
My mate. We were finally able to give into the magnetic pull I had denied us for years. But how long until we had to face everything that came along with this?
A dull ache between my legs reminded me of the incredible night we’d spent together before collapsing into bed, completely exhausted. I felt emboldened and confident, having explored my sexual nature with him for the first time.
There was nothing sexier than a man who made you feel like a goddess in bed, worshipping every curve of your body and ravishing you like a starved fiend. We had gone three rounds before I needed to tap out from the soreness creeping in. I found I enjoyed riding him the most, taking immense pride in watching the pleasure that I elicited from him cross his face.
I had never felt more powerful and in control. It was addicting after being made into a docile maid my entire life.
Beads of sweat ran down the curve of my back, and after a few moments of lying there wondering what to do, I decided a shower was in order. I lifted the arm draped over me and slipped out from underneath it, breathing a sigh of relief that I didn't wake him with my movement.
Crawling to the edge of the bed, my feet touched the cold floor, and I hopped around from foot to foot lightly, until settling on a discarded shirt.
I might have been hot just a moment earlier, but the breeze from his open window chilled me to the bone quickly.
Bending down, I pulled the fuzzy white blanket off the floor and around my body snugly.
Ahh, that was better. Stupid cold floors and open windows. What did my feet ever do to you to deserve such treatment?
The temperature here in Oregon was a fickle thing now that we were heading into winter. It was going to be cold, wet, and overcast quite often, plummeting us into the season that I dreaded. I wanted to live somewhere that I could feel the sun's rays on my skin constantly, soaking up the warmth until I was hot enough to dive into the cooling waters of the ocean.
Maybe we could escape to Florida one day and live on the beach. I had seen beautiful homes in a travel magazine that had somehow found its way to the pack, and instantly felt the longing to make it my home. That was probably odd for a wolf to feel, seeing as all the packs I had heard of lived in miles upon miles of forest around the world.
Closing the bedroom door behind me with a soft click, I decided to grab a glass of water before heading into the shower. My mouth felt dry, and my cheeks flamed at the thought of having slept with my mouth open, snoring and drooling this whole time.
Ugh, how the hell did people live together without constantly worry about being seen in an unflattering position or moment?
Digging through a few cupboards until I found a glass, I held it under the sink, filling it to the brim. A soft thumping came from the front door, and my nerves skyrocketed. Setting the cup on the counter, I tightened the blanket around me as I padded to the front.
Pulling the curtain back from the window nearest the door, I peeked through right as the knocking sounded again, startling me even though I had heard it already. I could only see the person's back from here, but my wolf scented the finest trace of them through the small crack blowing in air from the bottom of the door.
Seth.
My shoulders sagged in relief, and I rushed to the door to open it. Smiling up at his handsome face, I started to embrace him, but stopped when I recognized the emotions on his face.
Despair. Loneliness. Fear.
The night’s darkness kept his eyes shadowed, but the depth of his pain shone clear to me. I wore those emotions daily and was intimately aware of how suffocating they could be.
Pieces of his dark locks fell into his eyes, but he was so unattached from this moment that he didn't feel it. He wore the same black joggers from earlier but had added a black shirt as well now, completely blending in with the night. The light from the moon backlit him slightly, giving him a faint glow.
"Seth?" I questioned, not sure what he needed from me at this moment. I knew what I wanted to do, but we were practically strangers despite our bond, and I didn't want to fuck it up with presumptions.
Shocking me, he stepped forward and pulled me into his embrace. I barely had enough time to shift the edges of my blanket into one hand to the side before he crushed me to him. My free arm went around him, and I began stroking my fingers against his back in soothing circles.
Breathing in his crisp cedar scent, my wolf curled up in my mind, feeling at home in his arms. I pressed my face firmly against his chest and marveled over how he managed to make me feel so small even with my height of five foot nine inches.
He inhaled a deep breath and stepped back from me, running a hand haphazardly through his hair. Nibbling on his bottom lip for a few moments, he released it and explained, "It's you for me, Kira. I walked away from Jameson because I won't allow his destructive behavior to impact this gift that the fates gave us."
His voice caught for a moment, and he coughed to try to cover it before continuing, "But, he is my family, and knowing he’s going through some dark shit mentally tears me up inside. I know it isn't my job to fix him, but he has no one else."
Before I could soothe him, he rushed on. "Everything changed tonight, and my mind is a fucking disaster. All I knew was that I needed to be with you, to hold you. I tried to stay away to give you and Milo time together, but honestly, waiting around just locked me into my own head and I stewed over all of these worries with Jameson and the pack’s reaction to our bond.”
My heart fractured a bit at his admission, that he thought he wasn't allowed to come see me just because I was with Milo. I refused to let our dynamic start that way. I belonged to both of them, equally, and I'd be damned if either of them ever felt like they needed to wait their turn so to speak.
Lifting up onto my tiptoes, I reached for the back of his head and pulled it down, melding my lips to his in a gentle kiss. It was tender and loving, like two lovers in a tentative embrace, learning each other for the first time. Nothing like the Seth that I had seen in the previ
ous day.
This was a man baring his heart for me to see and hoping I didn't crush it in the palm of my hands. It spoke volumes of his character, and I found myself falling for him faster than I imagined possible.
We stood in each other's embrace and simply breathed in each other's essence. His hands moved to cup my face gently, before he pulled away to kiss the tip of my nose.
"Boop."
I scowled up at him from underneath my lashes, doing my best impersonation of an angry face.
Pretty sure I was crushing it. Mental pat on the back.
He simply smiled at me and pressed his lips to my forehead. Apparently he found my angry face cute or something. I was okay with that if it got me forehead kisses. Why did those feel so fucking good?
It made me feel all warm and gooey, like freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.
"Do you want to come in? I was just about to take a shower. I know Milo wouldn't care if you stayed," I offered, not wanting him to go back to his house alone.
He looked behind me into the cottage, and I reassured him, "Milo is asleep, but even if he wasn't he wouldn't care. He accepts that you are my mate just the same as him."
A small smile pulled at his lips, and I couldn't pass up the chance to tease him. My hand flew to my chest, and my mouth opened in mock surprise. "Did you just smile? Not a dickish grin, or a scowl, but an honest to Goddess smile?"
His lips pulled up more, and his beautiful smile revealed itself along with a light chuckle. "Get your ass in the cottage before you freeze to death," he demanded.
I obliged because I really was freezing. My nipples were so cold that I wouldn't be surprised if they’d turned purple. The door shut as I walked to the kitchen to grab my discarded glass of water and continued towards the bathroom in the hallway.
Outcast: A Paranormal Shifter Romance (The Pack Prophecy Book 1) Page 7
