Memories of Healing

by Melissa Storm

  “By the way,” he said casually, “I’m glad you agreed to spend Christmas with us, but I was wondering. How did it go when you told your mom and sister?” He lifted his bright eyes to study her between cracking eggs. Apparently, he planned to make a ten-egg omelet. Lord help them both.

  Brenna shrugged and tried not to obsess over the bit of eggshell resting on top of a yolk in Matt’s bowl. “I haven’t told them yet, but I will… eventually. I don’t see why they’re making it this huge thing this year. Christmas was never a big deal for us growing up. I don’t see why that’s suddenly different now that I’m up here.”

  Matt’s mouth opened and his eyebrows pulled together. “Not a big deal? Man, growing up in my house, if you didn’t treat Christmas like a huge deal you’d have been disowned. You know my mom would do it, too. She’d toss me right out on the streets in the middle of winter without a second thought.”

  A sudden lump formed in her throat as she thought back to a Christmas that she’d spent in the hospital so many years ago. It was actually one of her best memories because at least she was out of the house. Last year, she’d locked herself in her room and refused to talk to anybody, still unwilling to admit that her father was really dead. That it had been…

  “Is everything okay?” Matt said, sliding his hand across the counter to grace her hand with his thumb.

  “You know, I think decorating with you and your family might be one of my first happy Christmas memories ever.”

  Matt balked. “Ever?”

  “Christmas meant more things for my dad to throw and kick around. It meant more drinking and even more pretending to be a happy family than usual.” Her eyes glassed over as she recalled a particularly upsetting Christmas three years ago. “One year, he got so mad at us, he grabbed the tree and threw it out the window. It was the last time we had a tree.”

  She lifted her gaze and smiled sadly. “Christmas just wasn’t much fun for us.”

  His eyes hardened as he watched her. “That’s awful, Brenna. I’m so sorry.”

  She laughed bitterly. “Yeah, but it is what it is. I can’t change the past.”

  Matt squeezed her hand and pulled her to his chest for a hug. “But today is a gift. That’s why they call it the present. So Merry Christmas.” His fingers moved up to trace along her cheek.

  She shivered but didn’t back away.

  “I hate what he’s done to you. And I wish I knew how to erase everything he did.”

  Brenna blinked hard to dry the wetness that blurred her vision. This was an important moment, and she wanted to see him. “You’ve already done more than you know, Matt. So much.”

  As she looked up into the eyes that held so much concern and compassion, she desperately hoped he would kiss her. It had been more than three months since she’d first met him in the tattoo shop. They hadn’t kissed since the day they’d made the snowman together—the day she ran away. He was waiting for her to tell him she was ready.

  And, in that moment, she thought maybe she was.

  No— she knew.

  “Can you kiss me now?” she squeaked.

  “I thought you’d never ask,” came his throaty reply. His lips moved over hers in a featherlight touch, and this time she didn’t run away.

  “Doing okay?” he murmured against her cheek, which she took as an invitation to kiss him again.

  And again. As her lips found Matt’s, something inside her also clicked into place. Could she finally be healing? Had she finally learned to trust? To love?

  Someone cleared her throat in the entryway, and Brenna reluctantly pulled away from Matt. His skin looked raw from their kiss, and she wondered if hers did, too.

  “Hi, Elizabeth Jane,” she said, covering her mouth with both hands and trying not to blush any more than she already was.

  “Hi, Brenna Barry,” Liz said without any of her usual bluster or zeal. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but there’s someone here. And he’s demanding to talk to you. Do you want me to send him away?”

  Brenna flinched as if the words had physically slammed into her. She knew exactly who had come to see her even though she’d so desperately prayed this day would never come. And as much as she didn’t want to, she knew she had to talk to him—otherwise he’d keep hunting her down until she finally opened up. No sense running from the inevitable.

  Not anymore.

  “You look worried. Do you know who it is?” Matt asked, dropping his voice to a whisper.

  Her world started to spin, and she knew everything she’d been trying to run away from had finally cornered her. There was no escape now. How could she ever have believed she could get away?

  All she could do was nod, knowing as soon as she voiced the truth, everything would change. Matt wouldn’t look at her with love in his eyes anymore. Liz would probably fire her, and this man just might put her in jail.

  Still, she needed to tell them before that man outside could do it for her.

  She took a deep breath, clenched her eyes shut, and said, “He’s here because he knows I’m the one who killed my father.”

  Chapter 18

  Brenna kept her eyes sealed tight. She couldn’t bear to see Matt and Liz’s horrified expression, nor could she stand to witness the exact moment they both decided to be done with her. Finally her past had caught up with her, and it was exactly what she deserved—what she’d always deserved.

  When she opened her eyes again, she saw both of her former friends staring at her with open mouths. Apparently, they’d been trying to say more for a while now, but Brenna had become an expert at blocking out voices she didn’t want to hear.

  She wished she could cry, but she didn’t feel guilty about what she had done. She only felt bad that she had let down the people who had trusted her, who had wanted to help her.

  “Brenna, what happened? What are you talking about?” Matt’s voice was low, his eyes cold. All this time, Brenna had been trying to find a way to trust him, and now he knew that she was the one who could never be trusted. There was an evil that lived somewhere inside of her.

  Even Liz had taken a step back when Brenna made her big revelation.

  “You heard me. I killed my dad, and I’m not sorry,” she said, clenching her teeth, willing herself to feel some kind of pain instead of this maddening blankness.

  “Brenna, no.” Liz brought a hand to her chest. Was she surprised or only pretending? Shouldn’t the therapist have told her everything by now?

  But, oh, she didn’t know, either. Brenna had locked that part of herself away and figured if she hid it long enough that part of her past might just disappear altogether. How wrong she’d been.

  “It’s true he had an accident, but I’m the one who made it happen,” she said, trying to detach herself as she revisited the events of that night. “It had been a couple years since I graduated and moved out. And I never came back to visit, either. The only time I went anywhere near that house was when I knew for a fact he would be at work. The rest of the time, I made my mom and sister come to me.”

  Brenna turned and walked over to the window that looked out to the stables. She could see Buddy standing there and, as she watched, he lifted his head and stared directly into her eyes. He was saying goodbye to her, too.

  “That night was different, though. My sister kept texting SOS and when I tried to call her, she told me that dad was going to kill mom and maybe her, too, if I didn’t get there fast.” She wrapped her arms around herself and leaned her forehead onto the cold window frame. The memories of that night flooded her mind, and she knew it was time to face it. No matter how far she ran, it was always going to be there.

  “And so even though I was scared out of my mind, I went. But when I got there, the door was locked and the house was dark. I tried to call the police, but as soon as I hung up with the dispatcher, I heard a gunshot go off inside. That’s when I stopped thinking altogether. I was going to do whatever it took to save my mom and sister. So, I ran to the back and broke the window in the ba
throom that I’d always used to escape when I lived at home.”

  Matt came over and placed a hand on her shoulder. He didn’t say anything, just waited for her to finish.

  “I landed on my sister, who was hiding in the bathtub, crying hysterically. But I didn’t have time to ask her for more details. I just ran toward the sound like I had a death wish. Maybe I did.

  “My mom was lying in a fetal position on the ground, but thank God, she was still breathing and there wasn't much blood. Yet. But he was sitting on top of her, hitting her over and over again with the butt of that gun…”

  Brenna’s voice caught as a sob tore from her throat. Every emotion from that night was replaying in her body now. She’d never told the full story before. Even her mother and sister never talked about what happened that night after it was all over—never asked her to explain how it had happened.

  It felt like a relief to get all the ugly words out of her. Now that she’d started to recount the events of that night, she couldn’t bring herself to stop. Faster and faster they came, tumbling one over the other, racing toward the horrifying ending.

  She clenched her eyes shut again as she remembered. This was the most important part, and she had to get it right. “I’ll never forget the growl that tore from his throat as I ran over and kicked him again and again as hard as I could. He sounded more like an animal than a man. Even over all the years when he’d beaten me and I was sure he was going to kill me, I had never heard any sound like that.”

  She swallowed again, trying to calm her racing heart. “Then he grabbed my leg and yanked me down to the ground with him. My mom was unconscious, and my sister was still hiding. I didn’t know how long it would be until the police came. It was all up to me now.”

  Brenna paused for a moment and got her breathing under control. Now it was time to say the hardest words of all—the reason she even had to make her confession, the important fact that transformed this episode from any other day of her life into the worst and best one combined.

  “He stopped hitting me long enough to grope for his gun on the carpet. It made a clicking sound, and for a moment I thought I was already dead. But then I realized I wasn’t, not yet, and that I had to save my family from this monster. All the anger at what we had suffered took over my body and, suddenly, I found myself leaping at him with more strength than I ever knew I had. It was like I wasn’t even in control anymore, and that was okay.

  “I grabbed his hands, knowing full well he was too drunk to put up much of a fight. He shot and the bullet zipped past us both. That’s when I knew he wasn’t going to back down, and that I had to make a choice. Fast. When the gun clicked again, I pulled it from his hands and fired it straight into his chest.”

  Her entire body shook as the memories flooded her mind. When she turned to face Matt and Liz, she squared her shoulders, ready for them to condemn her.

  Instead, Matt pulled her into his arms, holding her against his strong chest as she finally let the years of fear and pain flow out of her.

  Liz came over and wrapped her arms around them both. “Brenna, if you would have done anything differently, then someone else would have died. You’re not a criminal. You’re a hero.”

  Brenna shook her head and finally began to cry. “I don’t know why that man is here, but I assume it’s to punish me for what I did. The police didn’t ask too many questions before ruling it self-defense. Maybe I should have been in jail this whole time. Whatever it is, I’m ready to face what I deserve.”

  Matt pulled her to his chest and forced her to look directly into his eyes as he swore, “Well, whoever this guy is, he’s going to have to get through me first.”

  Chapter 19

  Brenna marched outside with Liz on one side and Matt on the other. Her friends hadn’t backed away when they learned her ugly truth. If they understood, maybe the man waiting in the stables for her could, too. It would be easier now that she had her friends at her side.

  “Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Matt asked as he squeezed her side tight.

  “Yeah, I can still tell him to get out of here,” Liz reminded her.

  “He’ll just come back,” Brenna answered as she set her features into a blank, determined mask. “I need to do this eventually, so I might as well do it now.”

  “We’ll be right there for you the whole time,” Matt said, but Brenna was already rehearsing her words in her head, already telling herself that she could do this, that things would be all right soon.

  “I was beginning to think you wouldn’t come,” a tall man wearing an inexpensive looking suit said from where he was standing near Buddy. Brenna instantly disliked him.

  “Well, you were wrong. Now tell me, what do you want?”

  He clucked his tongue and kicked off from the wall to draw closer. Motioning to Brenna’s friends, he said, “Nuh uh, we do this alone, or we don’t do it all.”

  “She’s good with not doing it at all,” Liz interjected, putting a hand on each of her hips and storming toward the intruder. “You’re the one pushing this issue.”

  “So then you prefer not to make a statement in regards to my investigation?” He pulled his phone out of a coat pocket and tapped at the screen. “Interesting.”

  “What’s this about?” Matt demanded, but the investigator ignored him.

  He focused his gaze solely on Brenna. “Committed so many crimes you can’t even keep them all straight. And here I thought murder was bad enough on its own.” He laughed to himself, then pointed to Liz and Matt each in turn. “I’m serious. They need to go.”

  “No way!” Matt shouted.

  Brenna placed a calming hand on his arm, noticing how he shook with rage in that moment. “It’s okay. I can handle this.”

  “But you don’t need to handle it by yourself,” Matt insisted as Liz shot a searing glance at Brenna’s interrogator.

  “You’re the one who told me I’m strong,” Brenna reminded him. “I think you even used the word ‘unbreakable.’ Now give me a chance to prove it.”

  Matt looked like he was going to argue further, but Liz nodded and pushed him back toward the house. “We’ll just be inside if you need us at all. Promise you’ll call if you need us.”

  “I will. Thank you.” Brenna watched her two friends retreat into the warmth of the main ranch house, of her kitchen. She turned back to the stranger. “Okay, we’re alone. Now what can I do for you?”

  The man grinned, obviously finding it amusing that she wasn’t backing away from him. Could his large, probing eyes see right through her? If so, had he seen how desperate she was that night? How much she’d suffered in silence before finally taking action?

  “Good. Let’s cut right to the chase.” He groped about in his pants pocket and extracted a small case. “Name’s Willy Hardy, Private Investigator. Your father’s life insurance company hired me to do some digging into the unusual circumstances of his death. Here’s my card.”

  He handed her a thin bit of cardstock with his name and details printed on the surface. She felt like tearing it up in front of him, but instead jammed it in her pocket and waited for what he planned to say next.

  “Where were you living when your father died?”

  “In an apartment a few miles away from my parents’ home.”

  “How often did you visit your family after you moved out?”

  “Not often. I didn’t much care for my father.”

  “So you’re just going to offer me motive without any digging on my part, I see. You’re making this too easy on me, Ms. Barry.”

  “I have nothing to hide from you. The police investigated everything that happened that night, and I don’t understand why you’ve been hired to look into it. What can it possibly prove?”

  He shook his head at her as if she were a petulant child gearing up for a tantrum. “Nope, I’m the one asking questions here. Now tell me why you didn’t—in your own words—much care for your father.”

  “You know nothing about what we went
through that night, what we went through many nights.” With her entire body shaking, she turned to walk away from the man, opening Buddy’s stall door to let him out. This man had sent her friends away because he must have known it would be easier to get under her skin. But she still had one friend nearby, and she was going to make sure she had him at her side.

  Unfortunately, the interrogator followed her without hesitation, even reaching up to stroke Buddy’s side. “Nice looking horse.”

  Brenna glared at him over Buddy’s back as she hoisted the saddle up. The ranch staff tended to keep conversations focused on the patients rather than themselves, but she knew enough to know that Liz’s husband Dorian had been a P.I. in a past life. She hoped he wasn’t as obnoxious as this guy. He certainly wasn’t now, but…

  She focused her attention back on the man before her, Will Hardy. She wanted to take the pitchfork beside her and chase him out of the ranch for good, but she held back. He already suspected the worst of her.

  Obviously, though, Buddy could sense that Will wasn’t a good man, either, because her loyal friend snorted loudly and directly into the man’s face, forcing him to reach up and wipe at his face.

  Brenna chuckled to herself as she pulled the strap tight on Buddy’s saddle.

  “I’m glad you find that amusing,” he said, picking back up where he left off. “Now, you say I have no idea what you went through. Tell me. That’s why I’m here.”

  “Is it? You’re here to understand?” she demanded, steeling herself. “Because it seems like you already think I’m guilty.”

  “Then prove to me you’re not. Why were you at the house that night? Were you there against your father’s wishes?”

  “I came because my sister invited me.”

  “You answered one question, but not the other. Why is that?”

  She clenched her jaw tight. “I have no idea what my father wanted. He was often too drunk to know for himself.”

  “I see the disgust on your face. You don’t like people who drink, yet it’s okay to get cozy with a drug dealer?”