by Natalie Ann
All it did was confuse her to know that she still had the hots for him. He was the same nice guy he was before bringing up their past as if he didn’t remember breaking her heart in a million pieces. Or maybe he didn’t think as much of what they had as she did.
If he did, maybe he would have brought that up. Anything. Or any comment.
But he didn’t. It was like it never happened, when to her, her world had crashed and burned when he’d said the words to her so long ago that he wasn’t ready to think like her and he needed to just breathe. That he had plans and dreams in life too and if she couldn’t accept them, then it was on her.
Looking back, she could see she was in the wrong. She scared him off and she knew it.
She wanted something that not many were thinking of at that age.
She was trying to have him be someone he wasn’t.
The question was, did she want to see if he was willing to try again?
Did she have it in her to even consider it?
She left shortly after and climbed back in her SUV. Not the one she owned when she was married even though she’d said she’d keep it for years. Nope, she got rid of anything she had that Kevin had a part in when she kicked his butt out.
No more expensive frivolous vehicles in her life. She was a simple woman who just wanted the basic things in life.
One of those things was love and she wondered if she’d ever find it again.
Trey watched Whitney walk out to the parking lot and get in her SUV from the windows. She still had the nice slim body on her as always and when she mentioned her teenage bedroom he knew his face flushed with a memory of the two of them naked and rolling around fast, hoping not to be caught.
“That was nice of her family to bring over pizza.”
He turned to see Steve standing there again. The dude was worse than a woman when it came to gossip. “I’m sure it was her and not her family, but the same thing.”
“Still nice. You two were talking long enough. You’re from this area too, did you know each other?”
“Don’t you have work to do?” he asked. “I can find you something. The trucks could be vacuumed out again.”
“I’m still eating,” Steven complained. “I even brought you another slice.”
He reached for the plate and took it. There was enough pizza there for everyone to have multiple slices. There’d be some leftover for the night shift at this point. “Thanks. That isn’t going to stop you from having to finish up your duties though.”
“Yeah,” Steve said. “I didn’t think so. Everything okay with Ben?”
And as annoyed as he’d always gotten with Steve and his mouth, the guy did care. He was always asking about Ben. Giving fatherly advice or offering old toys or clothes his own kids outgrew. Steve had a boy and a girl in elementary school and his wife never wanted to get rid of anything and he used Trey as an excuse to clean house.
He didn’t need any handouts, but the truth was, he was given things he didn’t even know he’d need. There was so much he was flying blind on when he took his son home at two days old and had to do it on his own.
Taking those eight weeks off had helped him get a better handle on things, but he was still getting scraped hands and knees from tripping and falling all the time in his attempt to parent a baby.
“He’s fine. Gillian gave him a jar of prunes yesterday. I thought for sure he got it all out of him last night, but I guess he’s keeping Barb busy. She was afraid he might be sick and wanted to talk to me.”
Steve laughed. “Oh God. I remember when my wife did that a few times with the kids. Gross. I was happy to push it off on her.”
“I don’t have that luxury all the time, but I did make sure Gillian got the first load since she started it.”
Steve flushed when he said that. “Sorry. You know what I meant.”
“I do. No worries. Glad you’ve got Casey to help you out. Hope you thank her all the time for the hard work too.”
Steve snorted and laughed. “She thanks me monthly when I see the credit card bill.”
Trey laughed. “The plus side to being single.”
“Ah, but you’re too young for that. Maybe you’ve got your sights on a pretty woman who just brought some pizza in?”
It was the last thing he needed or wanted to be started. “Just making conversation, Steve. Thanking her for the pizza.”
When the alarms went off he was grateful for the distraction and the reprieve from this topic because his mind had been thinking of Whitney and wondering about her after Gillian said she was divorced.
From their short talk, he got the vibe she might be interested in more but then reminded himself he barely had time to do a load of laundry. How the hell was he going to date anyone? Especially the woman who broke down in tears and wanted to know what she did wrong when he broke up with her.
5
Bright and Big
Trey was pushing the grocery cart through the aisles and trying to remember what he needed. He should have made a list like he’d told himself to do weekly. Yet he never did.
Ben was holding onto the handle by Trey’s hands. Even if he turned to get an item, he never took his hand off the cart.
He was in the baby aisle now, reaching for diapers that he went through too fast. His eyes gazed past the formula that he no longer needed. Thanks to Gillian, Ben ate and drank well and the pediatrician said there was no reason to not transition to whole milk a few weeks ago. One less expense to have.
He was tossing jars of baby food and cereal in the cart. Though Ben ate table food, it wasn’t enough. When Trey’s eyes landed on the prunes, he shivered and passed over them.
“I’d do that too based on our last conversation.”
He turned to see Whitney standing there. “Excuse me?”
“You looked like you shivered over the prunes.”
He laughed. “I did. He’s all cleaned out and no issues. I don’t want them in my house again.”
“Aren’t you such a cutie,” Whitney said to his son who was smiling bright and big like he always did.
“I’d introduce you, but he wouldn’t know what I was saying.”
“I think he understands well enough,” she said, running a fingertip across Ben’s hand on the cart. Ben let go and grabbed Whitney’s finger and went to bring it to his mouth. “Oh no. That’s probably dirty and not good for you.”
“He wants to put everything in his mouth lately,” he said, pulling out the pacifier that was in the bag and clipping it to Ben’s shirt so it didn’t end up on the floor.
“Maybe he’s teething,” she said.
“Could be. That’s what Gillian thinks too. I’m expecting some teeth soon. He’s gumming everything to death so we are mashing food up. Mashing chicken isn’t easy, but Gillian manages.”
“Sounds like your sister has it covered.”
“She does.” He looked at her cart and saw there wasn’t much in it other than some produce. Of course they were only in the third aisle. She’d said she had no kids so no use asking what she was doing walking this way.
There was an awkward silence between them now. “I guess I should get a move on. I saw you turn this way with the baby and wanted to get a better look at the cutie than the picture.”
He could see her eyes never leaving Ben’s face. He knew a woman that wanted to get her hands on a baby a mile away. “Do you want to hold him?”
She grinned. “I’d love to. Though I think we might be blocking traffic soon.”
He looked around and saw someone coming down the aisle. There weren’t many in the store this time of day. He tried to get groceries on the weekends when he wasn’t working because he didn’t want to take advantage of Gillian always having Ben. He had to figure it out on his own.
“Most likely,” he said.
“But if you don’t mind me stalking you through the store, maybe I can hold him in the parking lot after checking out?”
“Sure,” he said.
T
he two of them started to move. They weren’t walking side by side or even in the same aisle, but they did make it to the checkout the same time, different lanes but leaving the store together.
“Look at that,” she said when they stopped at his truck. “My car is only three down from yours.”
“Why don’t you put your groceries away and I’ll do the same. Normally I put him in the car seat while I do this, but it’s fine.”
“Thanks,” she said, moving fast and all but tossing her bags in the trunk and coming back with her empty cart.
He finished with his bags in the back of the four-door truck, then took Ben out of the cart and handed him over. “I’ll bring the carts to the bin if you’re okay?”
“More than okay,” Whitney said, not looking at him and bouncing Ben on her hip.
When he came back Ben was all smiles and drooling. “Let me get his burp cloth. You’re going to be wearing that spit soon.”
If he was self-conscious about being Mr. Mom, he’d learned to push it aside. If men or women judged him they could go screw themselves. This was the life he chose and it was the one he was going to make for his son.
It’s not like he was going to sing a lullaby in the parking lot. But if he had to, he would. Sure, he’d be embarrassed, but you did what you had to to calm a screaming kid down.
Ben wasn’t doing any screaming but lots of wiggling when Trey brought the burp cloth out and wiped his son’s face.
“Let me try,” Whitney said when Ben turned his head to avoid the cloth.
He handed it over and watched as Whitney tried to play peekaboo with the cloth and managed to catch the drool before it drenched Ben’s shirt any further.
“Just another trick I should learn,” he said.
“I’m sure you’ve got plenty of them,” she said.
“More than I thought I would.”
More silence between them but not awkward this time. Ben was loving the attention and Whitney was all but ignoring Trey. “I should give him back to you. Your ice cream is going to melt if we stand out here any longer.”
“My ice cream,” he said. “I saw a few different kinds in your cart.”
“Well, a girl has needs,” she said.
There was a double meaning there if he’d ever heard one. He was torn between making a sexist comment like he would have with her years ago, or realizing he’d matured and asking her for her number.
He went with the number. “If you want to play with Ben another time, you can. Maybe when it’s not in the parking lot?”
“I’d love to,” she said. “If you trust me, I can be a backup sitter for you if you’re working. It’s not like I’ve got much going on other than work.”
Again. Hinting toward her being single. It seemed they were both beating around the bush. “Why don’t you give me your number,” he said. He pulled his phone out and added her number to his cell, then put it back in his pocket as he reached for Ben.
His son decided he didn’t want to leave Whitney’s arms and he couldn’t blame him. He remembered those hands on him too and was shocked at the memories flooding his brain.
“Sorry. I hope he doesn’t cry too long,” she said when he buckled Ben in to the sound of a mild temper tantrum.
“He’ll be fine. I’ll give him one of his toys or something. We aren’t far and it’s almost naptime anyway. It was good to see you again.”
“Same here,” she said, then moved away to her car.
When Whitney was home putting her ice cream away she burst into laughter. She didn’t think he’d notice the five different pints of Ben and Jerry’s she put in there thinking of the fact she was going to go home alone and wish for the family she never got.
The minute the last item from her bags was put away, she pulled out one of the pints and a spoon. Might as well start now and forget about dinner.
She’d seen Trey walking in the store when she parked and knew she’d have to get a look at him again.
He was definitely flirting with her at the fire station. Kind of what she hoped for when she dropped off the pizza and then wondered how they could see each other again.
Finding out he was a single father of a baby had been like a punch in the gut to the dreams she’d had with him, but knowing he didn’t have a woman in his life helped soothe that ache.
Then she had to ask herself what she wanted. Him or the child?
It was him. Totally him. She didn’t even know about the baby until after she brought the pizza over, but she did wonder if Trey would think she was more interested in his son.
She couldn’t worry about that though because chances were he might not even reach out to her.
She took her ice cream out to her sunroom and sat down to start eating when her phone went off. She picked it up off the counter, but there was no name, just a number with the text.
When she opened it up it read, Just Trey checking to see if I got your number right.
Wow. Guess she was wrong. She set the spoon down with the forgotten ice cream and typed back, You always were pretty smart. Did Ben stop crying?
The bubbles were flashing and she felt the grin on her face. Sound asleep by the time I got home. He wore himself out.
She cringed. That doesn’t sound good.
A picture of Ben in a playpen on his back with his arms out to his sides and a pacifier in his mouth popped up on the screen next with a comment that read, Does that look bad?
She laughed and typed back, Wish I could sleep that relaxed or deeply.
Me too.
Crap. Now what should she say? She wasn’t used to texting with men. She hadn’t dated in almost a year and never felt comfortable in these situations.
She didn’t want to call him because maybe talking would wake Ben up. Besides, she didn’t even know what to say.
In the end she settled on sending a smiley face and knowing that she probably looked like a fool in his eyes.
But he liked her text so maybe that was good enough, making her feel like that teen again.
6
Get Another Look
“What’s this I hear you dropped off a bunch of pizzas to the local fire station?”
She looked up to see her mother standing in the doorway of her office.
“You’ve got good hearing. How did you find out about it?”
“You know how people talk. Many saw the firetrucks and then wondered what was going on.”
“So they all know my stupidity. That my detector was going off and I changed the battery?”
Her mother walked in and sat down. “It would have gone off again like it did and you would have realized it. But it was scary and you need to be careful. We’ve always worried about you living alone, but it’s better than having Kevin there.”
She laughed. Her mother never made a lot of comments about her ex. Or the fact that Whitney had developed a love of wine for a good year after the divorce. Oh, the times she and Ryan had gotten drunk together. She suspected Ryan was keeping an eye on her, but then wondered if they were watching over each other. She didn’t need her brother beating the crap out of her ex again.
“Very true. And I’ll refrain from making some snarky comment about wanting Kevin in the house when the alarms went off.”
“I’d be arrested for what I wanted to say,” her mother said.
“Probably the same as my thoughts. Anyway, what brought you here today? Couldn’t just be the fact I dropped pizza off.”
“No. Trey is the captain there. He showed up that day,” her mother said.
She wasn’t shocked her mother knew that and didn’t bother to ask her how she found out. “That was his shift,” she said. “He looks good. He always said he was going to be a fireman. I guess I never followed through to see if he did it.”
Part of her was afraid to know. Or afraid to look and see how his life might have turned out with some other woman.
“He always looked hot.”
“Mom!”
“It’s the truth. Yo
u were so in love with him back in the day. We liked him and were sorry you guys split, but understood that you were both young and were going your own ways after graduation.”
“Yeah,” she said, looking down at the computer and pretending she was reading an email.
“You were very hurt over that breakup.”
“I was. But as you said, we were young and both moved on.”
“And we won’t talk about how well that worked out for you,” her mom said.
“Maybe not for him either.”
“How so? What did you hear?”
Her mother was getting comfortable. “He’s a single father. Has a ten-month-old little boy named Ben. Spitting image of him. What a doll.”
“I haven’t seen you smile that big in a long time. First of all, how do you know that? And where did you see the baby?”
She’d put her foot in her mouth, but maybe it was nice to talk about this. “When I was there last week with the pizza his sitter called. One of the guys said Trey was a single father. Trey came out and we talked for a few minutes.”
“So that is why you brought the pizza over? So you could get another look at your ex?”
“Maybe.”
“It’s about damn time.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself. We talked and then I left.”
“That’s it? Then how did you see his son?”
“I saw him a few days ago at the grocery store. Ben was with him.”
“Ah,” her mother said. “And you got talking. Bet you held the baby, didn’t you?”
Nothing got by her mother. “I did. We exchanged numbers.”
“Whitney, that’s great. So are you going on a date with him again?”
“I doubt it. I said I could be a backup sitter for him. He texted me when I was home that night, but we haven’t talked since.”
Three long days ago. Not that she was counting.
“If you have his number then you should reach out to him. Don’t make him take all the steps. That has always been your problem. You never went after what you wanted. Or are you not sure you want to because of his career and Ben?”
