“Good,” she nodded.
“Anything else?”
She nodded urgently now. “I need to get to know you again, too. I meant what I said last night.” Her cheeks flushed. “I loved you so much, and when you left, it was like I’d been pulled in two.” She swallowed, not meeting his eyes, not wanting him to see the ready pain she carried there. “I need to understand why.”
He nodded slowly, and the ease with which he conceded to her suggestions should have been a warning sign. An indication as to what he really wanted for Sarah Smith.
“I think there are mysteries we both need to understand better,” he murmured. “Lexi, for example. Her father. Your life in the last five years…”
Her cheeks dusted with a pale rose colour. She wanted to tell him to mind his own business, but that seemed faintly absurd when she was contemplating marrying him. Could she really do this?
“And it would be a real marriage?” She whispered throatily, her mind finding it difficult to comprehend such an idea.
“You mean, would we sleep together?”
Her whole face glowed red. “No, that’s not what I meant.” She snapped angrily. “Given the fact you propositioned me within five minutes of arriving the other night, I don’t for a second imagine us in a celibate relationship.”
His lips twisted in a smile but shame was curdling in his gut. “What do you mean then, najin?”
She ignored the nickname. “We’d live together? Eat together? We’d be like …a family?”
His brow furrowed. “I don’t understand.”
“Well, you’re very busy and I guess important. Presumably you have lots of places to be, and I just wondered if I’d be … lonely.”
Something strange swirled through his heart, filling it with an emotion he didn’t recognise. “I’ll make sure you’re not.”
Uncertainty swarmed through her.
“That’s not an answer.”
“Do you want us to be a family?”
She bit down on her lip and looked away. It was such a foolish notion, but Sarah had never had a family before. The possibility of being able to provide one for Lexi was even more tempting than the trust fund he was going to establish.
When she spoke, her voice was measured if slightly uneven. “I don’t want you to tie me up in a marriage just to stop me from being with someone else.” Her eyes met his and he was impressed by the obvious strength in her gaze. “You’re possessive but I’m not a possession. After five years, you’ve come back into my life and you seem to think you have a right to think of me as your personal plaything. I’m not. And it’s not fair to expect me to marry you if it’s just so I won’t marry anyone else.”
His cheeks were dark slashes in his handsome face. “Is there someone else you plan on marrying?”
“No! Not now. I mean, but… you never know. And if it’s just that you want me to be under your thumb … surely you can see how impossible that is?”
The very idea of her walking down the aisle, dressed in white, smile glued to her beautiful face, all for another man… his gut rolled. Damn straight he didn’t want her marrying anyone else. “Impossible is not being with you for a day longer. Surely you feel that too?”
Sadness was her shadow, because he was right. It was crazy and it was wrong and she suspected she’d regret it, but she found herself nodding, being swept into the tide of idiocy that dogged their relationship as much now as it had then.
“Fine. I’ll marry you.”
And with that, she sealed the million-dollar deal.
She would become his bride. His wife.
His princess.
9
“I t’s so big, mommy!” Lexi’s little face was illuminated with wonderment as she stared around the apartment.
And it was big. So much bigger than she’d even appreciated at first. She hadn’t really had a full tour though; her visit had been contained to the lounge area, the bedroom, and the bathroom. She bit down on her lip, wishing away the flush of tell-tale colour that blushed her cheeks as she followed behind Lexi and Syed.
“This,” he said dramatically, wigging his thick, dark brows at Lexi as though he had all the experience in the world dealing with little children, “is your room.” He crouched down and smiled at her, his denim jeans straining across his groin.
Sarah had to look away from the distracting sight of his impressive bulge, but it wasn’t quick enough. She’d seen it; him, and needs she wished she could control soared through her.
“In here?” Lexi’s voice was soft.
“Yes. Why don’t you look inside?”
She nodded, but there was a gravity to her movements now and she curled her little hand up behind her, reaching for Sarah’s reassurance. Sarah squeezed it, carefully concealing the fact she was every bit as nervous.
Lexi pushed the door inwards at the same moment Syed stood, placing a hand at Sarah’s back. It momentarily distracted her; his touch had the ability to spark flames through her soul. She tilted her head to him, her eyes clashing with his in a charged moment of sensual heat.
“Oh, wow.” Lexi’s voice was a perfect imitation of Sarah’s tone, when she was particularly impressed or awed.
Like in that moment, as Syed’s hand gently stroked her back, spreading warmth and need through her.
“Oh, wow, wow, wow.”
Sarah turned to look into the room, and felt a burst of something strange in her chest. Disbelief, certainly. Frustration. Impatience. Gratitude. And a sense of failure, for surely this is how Lexi should always have been living. Well, perhaps not quite so grandiose as this, but in a room more suitable than the tiny shoe-box she’d slept in back in Iron Oaks.
A classic four-poster princess bed was in the corner of the room, set at an angle which might have been space-inefficient if it weren’t for the fact Lexi’s room was enormous. There were two arm chairs, angled towards a flat screen television, and one wall was lined with shelves, all of them filled with boxes of toys. New toys. The very latest in kid-obsession.
“Syed,” Sarah murmured, her eyes lifting to his face with all the emotions bubbling through her. “This is …”
“I love it!” Lexi squealed, running to the bed and throwing herself against the mattress in a genuinely hysterical fit of exuberance. “Is it really mine?”
“Yes,” Syed spoke over anything Sarah might say. “Do you know what else, Lexi?”
“What?” She grabbed one of the teddy bears and hugged it tight, in a betrayal of the bear she’d always loved and hugged. Would he be forgotten now?
“This is a room fit for a princess.”
Lexi’s eyes were wide. Wider still when he walked to the shelf and pulled a black velvet box down.
“And when your mom and I are married, that’s what you’ll be.”
Sarah sucked in a breath. She had planned to break the news to Lexi slowly, gently, giving her a chance to adapt.
“You mean it?”
He nodded gravely, going down on bended knee and popping the top of the box. Lexi, all four years of her, had seen enough Disney films-on-repeat to understand the significance of the moment.
Sarah was behind Syed, still hovering at the door, and so she didn’t see at first what he was pulling from the box. But as he lifted the tiara and placed it on Lexi’s blonde head, she gasped.
“Tell me that’s not real,” Sarah whispered, almost blinded by the sparkling diamonds that formed several triangular peaks at the front.
“It’s heavy,” Lexi whispered earnestly, lifting a hand to her head and touching the side of the tiara. “Not like the one Caitlyn lent me.”
Sarah closed her eyes on a wash of embarrassment. Until that moment, Lexi had never even owned her own toy tiara, unlike just about every other little girl the world over.
“It’s real, and for very special occasions,” he said with a dazzling smile. Sarah could see Lexi’s four year old heart falling as much in love with Syed as her own had, five years earlier.
“
Like now?” Lexi grinned winningly.
The love thing appeared mutual at least. Syed’s smile was pure indulgence. “Yes. Like now.”
Sarah shook her head, bewildered completely. That sense only increased when Lexi lifted her hand and placed it slowly into Syed’s her face lifted to his in obvious admiration. “Will mommy get one too?”
“Oh, yes,” he answered, without looking in Sarah’s direction. “She’ll get at least ten.”
“Ten crowns!” Lexi shouted. “No way!”
His laugh was a deep rumble. “Absolutely.”
“Why so many?”
“Because she is going to be a Queen,” he said seriously, and as he walked towards Sarah, his eyes pierced hers. “And because she deserves them.”
Sarah’s breath seemed to puff out of her in one big exhalation. She was deflated, and unable to find any words.
It didn’t matter though, because Lexi and Syed were forming their own little coalition, wandering through the penthouse – or should that be sky-mansion? – as though Sarah wasn’t even there.
“What’s this room?” Lexi asked as they moved past another bedroom, this one with a double bed, a sofa, and a television.
“This is where a special friend of yours is going to stay.”
“Caitlyn?” Lexi murmured thoughtfully.
He looked to Sarah, momentarily confused.
Sarah, though, was still not feeling up to speaking.
“No.” Syed didn’t miss a beat. “Her name is Sasha. She’s going to spend time with you, when your mom and I are out.”
“Sasha,” Lexi nodded thoughtfully, apparently warming to the idea of her royal privilege. “That’s a nice name.”
“Yes,” he grinned.
Sarah cleared her throat, her eyes huge. “Are you talking about a nanny?”
His eyes held a warning as he looked to Sarah. “Lexi will have several nannies.”
Sarah compressed her lips and bit back on a wave of resentment. “That’s something I would like to be consulted on,” she said, trying to keep the anger from reaching Lexi’s little ears.
He smiled reassuringly. “And you will be. Sasha is the only nanny I have engaged and if you do not like her,” and now he squeezed Lexi’s hand, “Or Lexi finds her dull, then she does not have to stay.”
Lexi seemed completely accepting of this strange turn of events. “I think I will like her,” she said, lifting her free hand to toy with her tiara.
“And this,” he pushed another door inwards. Sarah’s temperature was spiking; they were close to his bedroom now and that knowledge was weakening her ability to think, let alone think objectively and clearly. “Is your mother’s dressing room.”
“Her what?” Lexi frowned. And was it little wonder? The idea of a dressing room was as foreign to Lexi as it was Sarah.
He pushed the doors – they slid into the wall, creating an opening that revealed what would be better described as an incredibly classy boutique. “Oh, wow.” Lexi stepped into the carpeted space. There were racks on either side, hanging an enormous selection of dresses and clothes. Gowns, too, frothy and bright. In the middle there was a white arm chair and behind it, shelves set into a long, skinny bench. She walked towards it on autopilot, pressing on one of the drawers to open it.
It slid out automatically, and inside, there were diamonds galore. Necklaces, earrings, brooches. The next one showed four tiaras.
She kept walking, inspecting each drawer, becoming less and less cognisant as she went. At the back of the wardrobe, she realised there was yet another door. She walked through it, almost squeezing her eyes shut for fear of what she might find.
Like an old-fashioned starlet’s dressing room, there was a mirror surrounded by lights, and the bench beneath it was full of professional-looking make up and hair kits.
She walked towards it in wonder and then turned back to stare at Syed. There were the shoes. Dozens and dozens and dozens filled into each and every cube of the wall. Flat shoes, high shoes, everyday shoes.
It was far, far too much.
“Syed,” she groaned, dropping her head forward.
He lifted Lexi up and propped her on his hip, as though he had been carrying children around for years. “Do you like it?”
The words were gravelled.
Lexi shook her head, her bewilderment apparent.
“Oh, it’s so pretty,” Lexi sighed, catching her reflection in the mirror and marvelling at the crown.
And it was so absurd, so utterly surreal, that Sarah burst into laughter.
“Yes, darling. It’s all very, very pretty.”
“YOU ARE ANGRY WITH ME?” He asked quietly.
Sasha was an excellent imaginary tea-party companion. She knew all the tricks and was delighting in a large piece of cake, going by the exaggerated forking of invisible food and patting of her stomach. Lexi was being a fabulous host, pouring phantom cups of tea for the seven assembled toys (Sarah was thrilled to see Bear had taken Guest of Honour seating, to her left). The tiara hadn’t left her head all afternoon.
“Yes. And no.” She bit down on her lip. “I thought we said we’d take it slowly? And hiring nannies for my daughter is something I should have been consulted on.”
“I did not intend to sideline you, but she will need someone with her tonight, and Sasha comes with the highest recommendations. Until today, she worked for our ambassador, based in Manhattan. I trust her implicitly.”
“Well, that’s good,” Sarah muttered. “But I would still have liked to interview her myself. Just because someone is good with kids doesn’t mean they’re going to be good with my kid.”
“It looks like she is doing well, though?”
“Yes, but that’s just good luck. And what do you mean, ‘until today’? Did you make her leave the ambassador’s family?”
His laugh was abrupt. “It is an honour for her, believe me, and the ambassador likewise.
Sarah ground her teeth together. “You are really arrogant, you know that?”
He shrugged. “I have been told so before.”
“Why tonight?” She honed back in on his original statement. “What’s happening?”
His eyes sparkled. “We are getting married.”
“What?”
She froze, her body as still as a statue’s.
“You know our deal,” he said quietly.
At the look of consternation that spread over her features, he reached down and laced his fingers through hers, drawing her away from Lexi’s playroom and towards his bedroom. Her heart raced against her ribcage as he pushed the door inwards.
It was just as she remembered it.
“Our deal was that we’d wait; wait until Lexi had settled in. To make sure she was happy.”
He shrugged. “She seems very happy to me.”
“But she’s just moved in here. This isn’t real. You can’t give her expensive gifts every day to win her over.”
His smile was distracted. “Why not?”
At her look of raw disbelief he lifted his hands apologetically. “That was a joke. Lexi will be happy here, and you know that. She will be happy with me, just as you will be.”
Sarah stared at him, and the sense of his confident proclamation spread over her. The view dazzled behind him, as the sun began to cower in the distance, fading away to make way for night. “You know I’m right. And so we’ll get married, like I want, and like you want. You know it’s why you’re here.”
“I’m here because you made it impossible for me not to be.”
He nodded, his expression a picture of calm patience. But there was something in the set of his jaw and the darkness of his eyes that made her wonder if he was grappling with stronger feelings than he was showing. “Look around you, Sarah. This life is what you deserve, and this life is one Lexi deserves. Why are you fighting it?”
Tears cloyed at her throat but she refused to give in to them. “Because I don’t know what we’re doing.” She dug her fingernails into her palm, so h
ard that the sharp pain almost distracted her from the stress she was feeling. “I don’t understand why you’re back, five years after leaving with only a … a stupid note.”
She was nervous. It was obvious, even to someone who didn’t know Sarah Smith so intimately.
“Because I could not forget you.”
“You had to go away for five years to work that out?” She demanded wearily.
“Well, Sarah? Shall we talk about how you forgot me?”
She drifted her eyes shut, hiding the vortex of pain his words stirred up. “Forgot you? You have haunted me every day since you left.”
It was beneath him to be glad for that; and yet he was. “That is mutual.” He reached for her hand and lifted it to his lips, pressing a kiss against the sensitive flesh of her inner-wrist.
She jerked it away. “Stop. Don’t. This isn’t… I don’t know. I’m so confused.”
He shook his head slowly. “I don’t think you are.” He pressed his palm over her heart, across the curve of her breast. “I think you are as sure of this as I am.”
Her eyes flinched away from his, terrified he might see truth there. “First you just wanted sex. And now you want to marry me. I don’t understand; what’s changed?”
He lifted her chin with his forefinger. “You have a child. To another man. For this reason alone, I hesitated.”
“Because your country won’t accept me? Or Lexi?” The idea chilled her to the core.
“Because it is an enormous move for her to make.”
Was it possible that he’d been speaking from a place of concern for the little girl? Something about the answer didn’t seem right; as though he was hiding the truth from her. “Would you like to see your wedding dress?”
Her jaw dropped. “You chose my dress?”
He lifted a hand to her hair, running his fingers over it thoughtfully. “Yes.”
“When?”
The smile he gave her was a twist of his lips. “The day you left New York.”
“After we slept together? You went bridal shopping after I’d stormed out of here and told you I never wanted to see you again?”
“Of course.”
The Sheikh's Million Dollar Bride & The Billionaire's Ruthless Revenge (Clare Connelly Pairs Book 6) Page 10
