by Fiona Murphy
“If that’s how many you want then that’s how many we’ll have. For now though, are you on birth control?”
I shake my head. “No, Rich—I was promised everything I said I wanted. I’m guessing to keep me happy and stupid.”
A nod. “Bethany has talked about an implant in the arm as the best, safest birth control. I would prefer you use it over the pill.”
“Who is Bethany and what’s wrong with the pill?”
“Too many chances of forgetting. She is Dante’s wife, one of those three cousins. Bethany is also a physician’s assistant, or she was. For now she’s doing the stay-at-home thing, she just had their first baby last year. She said with the implant there is basically no chance over all the rest. Those IUDs aren’t as effective as they say, and if you get pregnant with one it could cause problems.”
Since it doesn’t matter, I agree, the better to make him think I’ve given up. “Okay, if you think it’s the best thing. I do have a hard time remembering to take pills and vitamins. Will you let me work? Can I keep translating?”
“You can do it from home on your own schedule, right?”
“Yes.”
“Then that’s fine. If you want to make a friend of Pop then share the books you translate, there’s nothing he likes more than getting books before everyone else.”
“Ah, that’s right, they call him the librarian. And you’re Dom the bomb, be careful or he’ll explode.”
He shakes his head. “Stupid nicknames. I got it when I was a teenager. I never really exploded. It’s stupid.”
“I don’t know, the other men seemed to say it with respect. A lot of them seemed to respect and fear you, which Johnny said was what made you so good. Why didn’t you ever come to the condo, to New York?”
“I’m not the only one, there were a few others. I didn’t want it to start up talk of me becoming underboss then Don again.”
“You don’t want to be Don?” I thought that was the brass ring all made men wanted.
“No.” The word comes hard and fast. “I don’t want to deal with all the bullshit that comes with it. I have my business, it’s enough for me.”
“Huh.”
“What?”
“I guess, I thought it was one of the reasons you were willing to marry me. Because you wanted to become Don at some point.”
“No. I’ve told you, Johnny ordered it. I’m honor bound to do it.”
Shaking my head, I stare blindly out of the window. “One more time, I’m something no one wants, but is stuck with. Why couldn’t he just let me go back to Italy? The nuns at the school wanted me, maybe not wanted me exactly, but they needed me. I would settle for needed.”
It happens so fast the only warning is the car horn sounding before Dominic comes to a hard stop on the side of the now pretty damn busy highway. A rough hand goes around my braid. Yanking my head back.
“You think I don’t want you? Are you not paying attention to what you do to me? My cock doesn’t get hard at the sight of any woman in her panties and bra, I’m not a kid. You on the floor of that hotel room nearly undid every ounce of my control. I know what I did was fucked up. There were a dozen better ways it should have gone, the first time my cock was in your mouth. All of them went up in flames the minute I got close to you, princess.”
I’m barely able to take it in before his mouth is on mine. A wildfire burning out of control consumes me. I cling to Dominic, desperate for his strength—mine has gone up in flames. Lungs aching, skin painfully tight. It’s all too much, yet I need more. When Dominic ends the kiss I’m lost, dazed, greedy for more. Sapphire bright, his eyes roam over me.
“Johnny might have ordered me to marry you, but you are the one who makes my cock hard. You are the one who threatens to break all my control, Regina. This marriage is between you and me, no one else. It was a wife I didn’t want. Have no doubt I wanted you the moment I laid eyes on you. The same way you wanted me.”
10
Dominic
Her lips are still parted, it takes everything in me to pull away when what I really want is to sate the desperate hunger burning through me. If we weren’t on the side of the highway with the sound of cars and trucks passing us by, I don’t know how I could stop myself. The taste of her clings to my tongue. The scent of her pussy hot and wet is all around me. How does she do this to me? Turn me inside out, make every skin cell ache for her, desperate to inhale every breath she takes to keep a part of her inside me. Pulling away from her, inside I’m as dazed by this need for her as she is. I don’t like it. I don’t like anything that threatens my complete control.
A car honks loud close by, yanking me out of my fucked-up thoughts, reminding me now is not the time for this. Those honey eyes of hers are glowing up at me. Even as there is a lingering question of whether or not she can trust what I’m saying.
I’ll never tell her how easy she is to read, how every thought flutters across her beautiful face. The better to keep her from figuring out I know she’s trying to play me. Even if I hadn’t sat down at poker tables nearly every week for over twenty years, I could read her lies in those eyes of hers, in the way her long, elegant fingers moved in agitation as she spoke, the way that sexy fucking mouth twitched.
It’s cute to watch her think she can play me. Any other person in this world and it would piss me off. I have no idea why it amuses me with Regina. Maybe it was the way she sucked my cock as if she were starving for it, or the way her pussy was drenched from sucking my cock. It could be either one of those things, except I’m almost positive it’s because of how well I slept with her in my arms.
She had turned over in her sleep. At first I thought she was faking it, but no, she was asleep. Then she nestled closer, her arm tight over my chest, humming low in her throat as I tightened my arms around her out of instinct. Even now my cock jumps at the memory of how good and right it felt. I fell back asleep within seconds and slept so deep it spooked me.
Awake, I studied her as she slept, wondering what it was about her. Why did I want her so badly? What was it that made my cock hard and hungry for her? Was it because Johnny had given her to me? Told me she was mine, that she belonged to me. I’ve fucked a lot of women and while I did, I didn’t fuck around with anyone else. It wasn’t about ownership, it was about loyalty. When it was over I had no problem fucking someone new, often within hours. Yet no one woman has been all mine; I never cared or wanted them to be. Regina will be different. She might have had a few kisses, even allowed that fucker to cop a feel, but she’s never had a cock inside her.
I will have every one of her firsts. All those firsts, I want to make them perfect. Shame had flared at the way I handled her first sexual encounter—none if it happened the way it should. Yet I cannot completely regret it. Regina wants me, her body wants every bit of me—it’s her mind I have to get on board. I wanted to protect her against all the bad firsts. So I did what I needed to do, I called Valdez and made sure he would make everything else in her world but me disappear.
My cell rings. It’s Pop. I send it to voice mail, I’m not in the mood to talk to him yet. Carefully, I edge back into traffic.
“Are you going to ignore your father?”
“For now.”
“You’re close to your father?”
“Usually, yeah.” I don’t really want to talk about me and Pop, but I don’t want to shut her down.
“You’re lucky to have a father who cares about you. And all those cousins.” It’s there again, that wistful tone when she talks about family.
My jaw clenches at the thought of having to tell her one day I won’t give her the family she wants so badly. All I do is nod. “Family can also be a pain in the ass. They have their moments.”
“I’ve only seen the pain in the ass part. So why do they call your father the librarian?”
“His mom was a reader, she had asthma from a young age so she spent a lot of time indoors reading. She instilled the same love of books in him. He opened a bookstore as h
is front for his bookie business. It’s actually a profitable front. He’s into older books, buying from estate sales then selling them online and in his store.”
“All day in a bookstore, I’m jealous.” She sighs.
“You spend all day reading and translating books. It’s not all that different. I’m sure you two will get along.”
“When you forgive him enough to introduce us. Do you read?”
I shrug. “Yeah, eventually. I read pretty much every day, usually when I’m ready for bed. I prefer mystery, thrillers, spy novels, some literature. There are some fantasy authors I like but they are few and far between.”
Her excitement as she starts talking about her favorite books makes it hard for me to keep my eyes on the road, she becomes so fucking beautiful. For the next few hours it’s a normal conversation. The kind I have with my cousins’ wives, because I didn’t talk much with the women I fucked. She sighs as she talks about how much she loves Austen, then frowns as she complains about how Hollywood has ruined the movies. When she talks of her life in Italy, there can be no question she loved it there, even if it sounds sad as hell.
Anger hits me all over again at Johnny for the way he treated her. No wonder she hated him, didn’t think of him as her father. Then she tried again only for him to be a bastard and hurt her all over again. I wince as I remember calling her desperate for affection. Maybe she had been, but it’s understandable considering she was likely starved for it.
No wonder she was willing, wanting to believe in Taylor’s declarations of love. His promise of her longed-for family. It was Johnny’s fault she was a target. If he had given her the attention she needed she would have seen through Taylor. All it took was a single look at the first few pages of the file in the cold light of day and she saw the truth she hadn’t before. She might be young and naïve, but she isn’t stupid.
“Dominic, I need to use the restroom and I’m hungry again. Can we stop please?”
I nod as I read the sign she points to. A check of the gauge confirms I need gas as well. We’re making good time, as I consider where to stop in Toledo.
“Can we please eat in a restaurant? I promise I’ll be good. I don’t want fried anything.”
She won’t try and get away this time. No, she’s going to allow me to get her to Chicago, give it a day or so, then run. It’s what I would do. Chicago is a hub, there is almost nowhere she couldn’t get to within a few hours, using any number of modes of transportation. Two airports, a train station, and three different interstate highways would get her where she wants to go. If she ran here in Toledo, she’d be lost herself. Regina knows she’s only going to get one chance; she isn’t going to waste it.
Over the next hour, she does everything right. She plays her part perfectly, sadly resigned to her fate, with a flash of annoyance at me and herself for giving up. It won’t be such a bad life, though, and she’ll be content. Those are the words she says, but her eyes spark with defiance, her teeth tug on that bottom lip as she fights to keep the truth in.
I nod, relieved, thankful. Insistent I’m grateful for her resignation. While promising I’ll make it up to her. Then when I’m gassing up I call Vincent and make sure Marco and Dario are up for their hostile babysitting gig.
“They’re ready, Boss. She got a place to go?”
“No, which makes her that much more of a pain. If she manages to get out the whole damn world is open to her. I hit up Valdez already, he’s working to shut her money down. He has her card turned off, which was simple, but there are branches of her bank in Chicago.”
“What’s her bank?”
I give him the name.
“Damn, they are all over the city. There are two within a half mile of your place. Any thought to moving her outside of the city? Maybe to the lake house?”
“No, I need her with me and I need to be in the city.”
“Okay, I’ll make sure all the employees in the club are also on their toes with her.”
“Good. We have another five hours or so of highway. I’ll need to stop at least once more, so six hours or so. I need you to get with Pop and get the money for the payouts today. I won’t make it back in time. Check on Riley’s kid too for me. He had that surgery and should be released today.” Brian Riley is a sergeant who walks my beat, he’s been a good asset over the last five years.
“I did already. There was a problem. Something with the anesthesia, kid is dead. I’m sitting outside their house right now. I just made our condolences, told him that you would cover the funeral and the gravestone.”
Fuck, even with all the death I deal in, a kid dying is never right. “Good, yeah.” I try to think of anything else. “Shit.”
“I know, Boss,” Vincent mutters. “His wife is all torn up. Riley is still in shock. I gave him his payout of three thousand and an extra five thousand as...you know.”
“I’ll get it back to you.”
“It’s all good, Boss.”
“All right, I need to get going. Text me if there’s an issue, no calls. I’ll get you back when we stop.”
***
Regina
I watch Dominic through the back window, wondering who he’s talking to. He’s been on the phone for a while. The wind ruffles his hair, and a sigh escapes me at how damn beautiful he is. It’s not fair. Those dimples, his blue eyes; why did I think his nose was too big when really it’s perfect on his face?
Closing my eyes, I wonder once again what the hell is the matter with me to want him so desperately. Is it the whole daddy issues thing? He’s older than me, as he keeps reminding me, by seventeen freaking years. Weird, the idea of seventeen years is...daunting. Except, I like that he isn’t like the guys my age.
Guys my age annoyed the hell out of me. They talked about video games, and getting wasted, and scoring with chicks. Richard was nine years older than me and it was one of the most appealing things about him. I’ve always felt more comfortable with people who were older than me.
With Dominic on several occasions as we talked about books, or favorite films, and a myriad of other things, it didn’t seem like there was a huge gap between us. I’ve been told more times than I care to count that I was older than my years, and it usually felt like an insult. Even when the nuns said it. Except it’s the truth.
Johnny blamed it on being raised by nuns; however, I think it was that I was raised by books. My mom was a reader who lived through books because she wasn’t allowed out of the house. Johnny also discouraged her from having friends who might interfere with his time with her.
Mom read everything she could get her hands on to become more American, less of an outsider as a woman with dark skin and a Spanish accent. She thought it was cute when I tried to read her books, she never kept them from me. When I packed my suitcase I didn’t fill it with clothes, I filled it with her perfume, her pictures, and her favorite books.
Unpacking my suitcase, Mother Superior was astonished by all the books. She didn’t have the heart to take the too grown-up books away from me. I reread them until they began to fall apart. Those books shaped the way I thought of the world and myself. They also prompted the questions and distrust of the religion I grew up with. So even though Dominic was old enough to be my father, it didn’t feel like it in the slightest.
Stop it, stop thinking of him like that. We get to Chicago tonight and by tomorrow, or the day after at the most, I’ll be gone. I have to be.
I jump when Dominic closes the car door. The change in him is clear. “What’s wrong?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing, seat belt.”
“Is it Johnny?”
A heavy sigh. “One of the cops on my beat, his kid died during a surgery. It’s nothing to do with you. Drop it.”
“Did you know the kid?” I can’t drop it, not when Dominic looks so sad.
“No. It’s just fucked up. He was an only child. They had a couple of failed pregnancies. They had to go the in-vitro route to have him. Just had his third birthday a few days ago.
” He shakes his head. “It’s an inconvenience, okay? He has to take leave and I get saddled with a newbie who might give me problems. That’s all it is.”
Liar. Dominic Sabatini is mourning the loss of a child he had never met simply because he knew the father. He’d likely seen the father’s joy and happiness at the birth of his son. Now he’s empathizing with the father going through the death of his child.
I sigh as I close my eyes; why couldn’t Dominic just stay the monster I need him to be?
11
Regina
“Can we please stop with the rock music and listen to something else? I’m begging you. I’ll even listen to Eminem bitch about getting everything he ever wanted.” It’s almost a half hour since we left the gas station. I was trying to hold in my complaint, only I’m getting a headache.
“AC/DC is classic. Your education is sorely lacking. Let me guess, you’re a Taylor Swift fan?” His expression isn’t mean, as I feared it would be. He’s lost the air of sadness. I fight not to smile at his pained expression. And just like that we’re arguing, without any heat whatsoever, about the best and worst music and musicians.
Almost three hours later and my voice is getting scratchy from all the talking we’ve done. I’ve never talked so long or so easily with someone in...ever. Not my lone best friend, Elisabetta, who left school a year before me and I haven’t heard from since, Richard, or Mother Superior. With Dominic it comes easily, my questions, his answers, and back around again. It doesn’t feel like an interrogation even though I’m pretty sure I’ve shared every single important thought and fear and maybe even secret I’ve ever had.
“I have to pee.” I blurt it out. I need room, distance and I need it now, right now.
He looks at me in surprise. “Okay, the last sign said a stop in about fifty miles. Can you wait that long?”
Blushing, I nod.
“Are you okay? Did you start your period or something?”
