by Unknown
She straightened her cup in its saucer. ‘Whatever happened to the rest of the family?’
‘Their lives have probably been pretty much like ours,’ I said, trying to picture Dee as she was now.
‘I doubt Dee’s husband was killed in a plane crash like Marcus. I can’t imagine she’s had to cope with the things that have happened to you.’
The reference to Marcus stung, as it usually did when I wasn’t expecting to hear his name. I’d struggled over the past three years since his plane had crashed into a hillside on the way to a meeting. ‘Maybe not, but apart from that difficult time our lives have been ordinary, wouldn’t you say?’
Mum sighed heavily. ‘Not really, no.’ It dawned on me that her boyfriend Paul wasn’t with her. ‘Where’s Paul?’
She took a sip of her tea. ‘I ended our relationship.’ She stood up, collected the crockery and carried them over to the sink. Pulling on the rubber gloves she always wore to do any housework, she turned on the taps to fill the sink. ‘We’re not as well matched as I’d hoped.’
I had experienced this before and unlike the occasions when she met someone I thought did suit her, I wasn’t sorry to hear Paul wouldn’t be coming to stay a third time.
She glanced over her shoulder at me. ‘It’s getting late. Shouldn’t you have left to collect Katie by now?’
I was still unsure why Leo had come to the house, when he seemed reluctant to say anything much about his family. Was what happened to them more sinister than I had imagined? I had no idea. I did know that people could be surprising – and a part of me couldn’t help wondering what secrets Leo had that he wasn’t willing to share?
Chapter Seven
2018 – Oakwold, New Forest
Sera
A few weeks passed by and I’d almost given up ever hearing from Leo again. I still found it strange to picture him as the broad-shouldered man he had become. He was such a timid little boy, so skinny and shy. I couldn’t help wondering why he had returned after all this time. Why meet with someone at the main bank in Southampton? Unless he was planning on buying a home or setting up a business here?
Soothed by this thought, I decided it made perfect sense. Maybe enough time had passed for him and Dee to return to where they had grown up? Perhaps he didn’t want to confide in me until they had set themselves up. I hoped so.
I left Katie with Mum while I popped out to the village shop for a few bits. I was studying the dates on packets of ham when I heard a couple of the locals chatting.
‘I’ve never seen him in the village,’ a woman said as she stood at the counter. ‘Does he darken your doorstep, Val?’
I was aware of an uncomfortable silence, followed by whispers. I couldn’t help but sense she was looking at me for some reason. I was tempted to turn and see what was so interesting, but never wishing to involve myself with local gossip, I placed a packet of ham in my shopping basket and focused on which cheese to choose for a salad.
‘He comes in here once in a while,’ Val said. ‘They say he only ventures into the village when he needs something. It’s not often, though, I’m told he’s mostly self-sufficient.’
‘I heard he killed a man,’ the customer said. ‘Or that he was in the Foreign Legion.’
‘I heard it was a woman he’d murdered,’ someone else said.
Wishing I had the nerve to leave my basket and go, I walked up to the counter, trying to act as if I hadn’t heard their conversation.
‘You know him, don’t you, love?’ Val asked, obviously having no intention of letting me go until she’d gleaned as much as she could about our mysterious neighbour.
‘I’m sorry?’ I placed my shopping onto the counter.
‘You and that bloke your mum’s been seeing, you helped that French bloke at the farm when he set fire to his barn.’ She waited for an answer. ‘What do you make of him?’
‘He didn’t set fire to his barn,’ I corrected her, determined that they weren’t going to get away with accusing him of arson, as well as everything else. ‘He seems perfectly pleasant to me.’
‘Yes, well, I’d expect you to say something like that.’
Unable to help myself, I retaliated. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
Another customer who was queuing to pay for the newspapers tucked under her arm, said, ‘You can tell there’s something sinister about him. And that farm of his, you know better than most, Sera, strange things have happened there.’
‘Anyway,’ the woman next to me said. ‘He should try and get to know us, if he wants to fit in.’
‘Really? Why bother when you’ve all obviously made your own minds up about him?’
Too furious to be able to stay in the shop a moment later, I turned on my heels and marched out. ‘Keep the bloody food, I’ll shop elsewhere from now on.’
She was right about strange things having happened at the farm, but they had happened fifteen years ago. Doubting any of them would have bothered checking on Henri after the fire, I drove over to his farm with Katie after collecting her from school. We turned the last bend of his dusty driveway and I spotted him leaning on a rake, one hand up to his eyes to shade them from the glare of the sun. He peered towards us trying to see who was coming, uninvited, to his home.
I pulled up by the lilac and apple trees and stepped out of the car. Opening the rear door, I unstrapped Katie’s car seat and lifted her down. Then I let her run around in the yard. ‘I hope you don’t mind us coming to see you?’ I said, sensing he did, very much.
He stared at Katie as she crouched down to study a couple of chickens and shook his head. Resting the rake against the house wall, he said, ‘Not at all.’
Feeling a little awkward, I turned my attention to the charred remains of his barn. ‘Any idea when you’ll be allowed to clear this away and start rebuilding?’
‘No.’
He must have been nervous living here alone if the culprits were still out there somewhere. ‘I hope they catch whoever did this soon.’
He gave a slow shrug of his right shoulder. ‘I can defend myself if I must.’
I believed him. Despite his limp and scarred face, he was muscular, and I didn’t doubt that somewhere along the line he’d learnt to look out for himself. There was nothing delicate about Henri. ‘Good, I’m glad.’
He looked confused by my visit. ‘You want to see the damage to the barn?’
I studied the stakes of blackened wood standing like rotten teeth where the ancient, slightly warped walls had once been. I remembered the stores of apples collected in the autumn months, next to Hazel’s willow boxes containing her lavender harvests, the brown bags filled with sunflower seeds from previous years and the more recent drying heads of flowers hung up along two of the walls.
This barn had been majestic and filled with laughter, especially when Dee and I had been sent by Hazel to hang fresh bunting for one of her evening parties. I recalled the calming scent and flickering glow of the lavender candles resting in the elaborate candleholders Hazel favoured. Seeing it crushed by the fire was devastating. It wasn’t just a building, it was part of my past that I hadn’t ever expected to vanish.
‘Yes, okay.’
I followed him, trying to summon Hazel’s lyrical voice singing those long-ago songs and wished I could travel back to that time, so reminiscent of the sixties and seventies, if only for a few hours. I longed to revisit those magical days with Hazel and her friends dancing around in their flowing, brightly coloured dresses, the flowers woven into their long tresses, the men with their faded jeans and unfashionably faded T-shirts. Now I could only smell charred wood, but back then the aromas of lavender, mixed with the heady scent of patchouli and sandalwood, filled this space.
I thought back to my younger self with Dee, liking the latest nineties fashions and teasing me that I should have been Hazel’s daughter as I fitted in so much better with her carefree world. I imagined how heartbroken I’d be if Katie went through the same mysterious loss of her closest confidant
e like I had and hoped her teenage years would be more settled.
It hurt that Leo hadn’t been in touch. I couldn’t help thinking that maybe it would have been better not to have seen him again because doing so brought back too many memories I’d spent years learning to suppress. Had Dee missed me in the same way after they’d left? Had she managed to find a way to make sense of our odd lives?
I realised at that second why my mother had been so odd with Leo. She’d watched me grieve for the loss of my best friend and a family I wanted as my own. It couldn’t have been easy coping with your only child withdrawing instead of turning to you for comfort. Poor Mum, I thought, guiltily. I’d put her through so much back then.
I glanced at Henri and realised he was speaking. ‘Pardon?’
He smiled crookedly, one side of his face not working as well as the other. It gave him an air of danger somehow. ‘I was asking how you are?’ he said, kicking a charred piece of wood out of his way.
I told him about my childhood friend reappearing and then not hearing from him again for several weeks. ‘I miss not having many friends,’ I said, thinking of the life I’d left behind in North Yorkshire. I had joined the local book club soon after Marcus and I had moved there and enjoyed getting to know the women. I had considered them friends, but after Marcus’ sudden death they kept away. Their withdrawal from my life was painful and Mum suggested it was because they were unsure what to say to me.
‘Some of them will feel threatened that you’re now a beautiful young widow,’ she had added. ‘They’ll be concerned you’ll look to one of their husbands for comfort.’ I had been angered by her comment, but looking back it made sense of their abandonment.
‘Friends, what are they really?’ he said matter-of-factly. ‘Only people who talk to you but usually want something you’re not willing to give.’
I wasn’t sure what he meant exactly and didn’t ask, but his comment saddened me. ‘You must have some people you consider friends?’
He looked up at me for the first time since we’d entered the barn. ‘You are my only friend in England, Sera.’
‘Really?’ I couldn’t miss the intensity of his gaze. We barely knew each other. It occurred to me that if anyone else had said that to me I probably would have felt a little claustrophobic. For some reason I didn’t mind it from Henri. Maybe it was because I felt defensive of the way he’d been treated. Perhaps rather than not liking people, he simply didn’t need the company of others to feel secure.
‘You don’t think me strange saying this to you?’ he asked, narrowing his eyes.
‘No,’ I said honestly. ‘It’s a compliment.’ Again, that intensity as he stared at me. Why didn’t it make me uncomfortable?
‘Good.’ He walked over to the other side of the barn, careful where he placed each step.
I glanced over to the yard to check where Katie had got to and spotted her sitting on the ground playing with Henri’s scruffy Collie. She was so sweet. My heart constricted to think that Marcus, so full of hope and ambition when he died, would never get to see her growing up. I reflected on the stories I had shared with him about my time here with Hazel and her family. Marcus had wanted to visit the farm the next time we travelled to Oakwold, but we never managed to before he died. I swallowed the lump in my throat. Now wasn’t the time to immerse myself in self-pity.
‘Sera?’
Henri’s voice snapped me out of my reverie. I hurried to the other side of the damaged building wondering what could be so interesting about lumps of burnt wood and earth.
‘Here,’ he said pointing down at the floor. ‘They think there is a cellar below.’
‘Seriously?’
He nodded. ‘You knew this place when you were a child? Do you remember anything being stored down there?’
I didn’t recall ever seeing a cellar and told him. ‘I’m not sure Leo and Dee’s family ever knew a cellar existed, I certainly didn’t.’
‘The fire burnt away some of the wooden floor covering it. Maybe it had been covered over for many years.’ He frowned and bent down to study the area further. ‘It will be interesting to have a look, no?’
I agreed. ‘You could find out how large the area is,’ I suggested, intrigued that I thought I knew every inch of this place and here was somewhere I’d never come across before now.
‘Storage is useful. A cellar keeps stock cold,’ he said. ‘When I rebuild the barn, I will make much use of it.’
‘Especially in the summer time,’ I suggested.
Just then, he walked off. I went to follow him, but my ankle gave way as I stepped over a piece of wood, causing me to slam my hip against part of a brick step.
‘Shit.’ I winced as I fell, trying not to let on how much it hurt.
‘Sera.’ Henri hurried back to me. I held my hand up to stop him, concerned that he’d end up tripping in his haste and damaging his bad leg further. ‘You are hurt,’ he said reaching me and bending down to place his hand on my thigh. ‘You should check it,’ he said, pointing to my skirt and turning his gaze away.
I gritted my teeth, nervous to discover how badly I’d hurt myself. Then, gently lifting the cotton material until it exposed my skin, I grimaced.
‘The skin isn’t broken.’ I could see a dark bruise already becoming visible. ‘But I’m going to be pretty sore for the next few days,’ I said, embarrassed.
‘Give me your hand, so you can stand.’ He took my arm and draped it around his shoulders, slipping his hand around my waist to slowly lift me.
‘Thank you,’ I said wincing. ‘How stupid of me.’ I touched the painful area lightly with the palm of my hand and rubbed carefully. ‘Damn, that’s sore.’ I could hear Katie giggling and singing to the dog, grateful she hadn’t witnessed my antics.
He stepped carefully over the debris in our path and led me out of the barn area. ‘I have arnica in my house; it will help where you have bruising.’
We slowly made our way to his front steps and both limped up to the front door. Not wishing to leave Katie outside alone, I called out for her to come with me.
‘Mummy, are you hurt?’ she asked, her little face crumbling with fear.
‘No, I’m fine. I just twisted my ankle, it’s nothing. Come inside with me and Henri.’
‘You want some water to drink?’ he asked, as she ran up to him. He looked a little more at ease with her and I couldn’t help wondering if he’d had his own family at some point.
We reached his kitchen and he motioned for me to sit on an old fabric chair by the fireplace as he went to pull open drawers looking for the cream. Finding it, he handed the tube to me and then crossed the room to pour Katie a glass of water.
‘I have old books in another room,’ he said to her. ‘Would you like me to find them for you?’
‘I’ll come with you,’ she said in a loud whisper. ‘I can take them to the porch to read them to your dog.’
He glanced at me and shook his head. ‘You talk with Patti,’ he said, as he left the room. I heard her chattering away to the Collie telling her how she couldn’t read yet, but liked making up stories when she looked at the pictures in books. Henri soon returned laden with a pile of books which he placed just outside the open door. Katie beamed at him and sat down, immediately immersed in the pages of the first volume.
Henri returned to sit in the chair at the other side of the cold fireplace. I watched him for a while, not sure why his mood seemed to have changed. ‘Henri, is there something troubling you?’
He rubbed the palm of his left hand with his right thumb absentmindedly. ‘I do not wish to offend you.’
‘You won’t,’ I assured him, nerves building in my stomach. ‘What is it?’
I waited for him to gather his thoughts and squinted at the instructions on the metal tube in my hand to distract myself.
‘You said you grew up here and returned three years ago. What made you come back?’
Deciding that if I was hoping for him to open up a little to me then I needed
to do the same, I replied, ‘My husband, Marcus and I were living in Hambleton, in North Yorkshire, when he died in a plane crash. Mum suggested I moved in with her and so I came back to the New Forest.’ I could see the pity on his face. ‘It meant that Katie and I could start rebuilding our lives somewhere familiar. I could also look after Mum’s house whenever she was away working.’
‘I should not have asked.’ He shook his head and looked down at the grate.
I hadn’t meant to shock him. ‘It’s fine, I’m almost used to not having him around now,’ I said. It was a half-truth as sometimes the pain of Marcus’ absence shot through me. ‘I still miss him, of course. Marcus was a good husband and a wonderful father to Katie, for the short time he had that pleasure.’
‘A plane crash?’
I nodded. ‘He was flying. Marcus always wanted his own plane. He and his business partner shared it. They both died.’
‘Do you mind me asking what was his business?’
It made a nice change to speak about my past with someone who didn’t have any pre-conceived ideas about it. I thought back to the smart functions Marcus and I used to attend, the plans we’d made and our dreams of the perfect future for us and our beautiful daughter. It took me a moment to collect my emotions enough to be able to reply.
‘Initially I hadn’t realised Marcus and his partner had overreached themselves, financially,’ I admitted. Why was I telling him this much detail? ‘The meeting they were flying to was with prospective buyers for the firm. Naturally, the sale fell through after their deaths and almost everything went to creditors.’
‘That is terrible.’
‘It was devastating at the time. I was left with very little. I sold our home, paid off our mortgage, and came back to Oakwold.’
‘You have a new life now. You are happy again?’
He looked so guilty asking me such a personal question that I smiled to put him at his ease. ‘Yes, most of the time. Mum and I have our moments, but that’s bound to happen, I suppose.’
