Evie released a very unladylike snort. “You have no idea what you’re asking.”
“He’ll smother you. He will take everything bright and defiant and unique and lock it away in a box until it withers and dies and you become like all of the rest. But you’re a light, Evie. You deserve to shine.”
Evie was not a woman who cried easily. While others females employed tears as a weapon, she preferred to use her words. Which was why she as shocked when she felt her eyes dampen and fill. “Don’t you think I wish it was different?” she whispered, her voice raw and vulnerable and aching. “But it’s not. And getting a taste of what true passion should be like has only made it worse.” Two diamond shaped tears slid down her cheeks and onto his hands. “I do not know why we ran into one another that day. I do not know whether it was fate or happenstance or divine intervention. But I do know I cannot leave my fiancé for a stranger.”
“Then leave him for yourself, Evie.” He spoke harshly, his face intent as he stared down at her. For an instant she thought he was going to kiss her again, but with a low growl of frustration his hands abruptly fell away. “Go, if that is what you want to do. I have no right to keep you. You do not belong to me anymore than you belong to him.”
What she wanted to do? No. It was what she had to do. Wordlessly Evie gathered her skirts and brushed past him, their shoulders bumping as she stepped onto the path that would take her out of the gardens and back to her house. Back to her miserable father. Back to her over-controlling mother. Back to her fiancé who was marrying her out of obligation, not love.
His voice caught up to her just as she reached the gate.
“Aiden,” he called out. “My name is Aiden Donovan.”
Turn around, part of her cried. Turn around and run to him. You know you want to! He’s not perfect, but neither are you. At least together you form a whole. He’s right. You deserve more than a life spent shuttered away in the background. You deserve happiness and love and a passion so bright it burns like the sun. Turn around. Turn around and go back.
Clenching her jaw, she kept walking.
CHAPTER TEN
“You look positively wretched.” Setting down the latest addition of Ackermann’s Repository, Lady Theresa Longacre regarded her daughter with a lifted brow and pinched lips as Evie shuffled into the drawing room and sank into the nearest chair. “You best not be going anywhere looking like that.”
Weak sunlight flowed in through the windows, revealing dark purple smudges beneath Evie’s lashes. Her skin was pale, her hair snarled and unkempt. She looked exactly like she felt: exhausted and confused. After returning home last night she had crept upstairs to her room but sleep had proved elusive and she had spent what remained of the night restlessly tossing and turning. When morning came she ate breakfast in bed and had only just come downstairs even though the hour was quickly approaching noon.
Pulling together the edges of the silk wrapper she had put on over her nightgown, she tucked her legs up underneath her as a chill of cold air brushed against her skin, leaving goose pimples in its wake. “I think I will stay in today. I do not feel well.”
“You cannot,” Theresa said sharply. “We are having tea with Lady Edgecomb and her daughter at half past two and then I have scheduled a dress fitting for you at.”
Evie frowned. “I had a dress fitting just last month. Why would I need another?”
“For your wedding, of course.” Theresa rolled her eyes as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Honestly, after all this time I expected you to be a bit more excited. Granted, Lord Reinhold is not exactly a thrilling catch, but now that you are getting up in years I suppose he will have to do.”
And here Evie had been desperately hoping for a day – just one single day – without any mention of Lord Reinhold or their upcoming nuptials. She should have known her mother had already begun planning. When Theresa Longacre wanted something done she waited for no one, not even her own daughter. “You know,” she began slowly, “if you had taken my other suitors seriously I could be married right now.”
Theresa waved her hand dismissively. “They were not right for you.”
And Lord Reinhold is? Evie wanted to ask, but she bit her tongue. She did not have the energy to fight. Not now. Not when her mind was still consumed with everything that had happened from the night before.
Aiden Donovan. At she finally had a name, but she was no closer to forgetting him and moving on than she had been before they kissed. If anything she was even more intrigued by him and try as she might she couldn’t get what he had said out of her head.
He’ll smother you. He will take everything bright and defiant and unique and lock it away in a box until it withers and dies and you become like all of the rest. But you’re a light, Evie. You deserve to shine.
What those words had done to her! They’d wrenched her heart wide open and left her so vulnerable she had actually cried. She, Genevieve Longacre, had shed tears. It was absurd.
But not quite as absurd as falling half in love with a man she hardly knew.
“Bollocks,” she said as the realization hit her over the head with all the subtlety of a slop bucket being thrown out the window. Had she really gone and fallen in love with Aiden? At least part of her had. As for the rest...well, who knew?
Before they ran into one another she thought she had her entire future planned. And now...now it felt as though everything was topsy-turvy. Up was down, down was up. Left was right and right was left. Aiden had stirred her to life and in doing so had forced her to look at what was most important. Maybe she wasn’t ready to break her engagement for him. But what if she was ready to break it for herself? Aiden was right. She deserved to be loved and Reinhold deserved the same. By forcing them both to settle for less, she was only inviting misery.
“What did you say?” Theresa demanded.
Evie’s gaze jerked to her mother. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”
If there was one person she would not be able to discuss her conflicting emotions with, it was Theresa. But she needed to speak with someone, and soon. If she really wanted to change the course of her life it would be best to do it before her engagement with Reinhold became common knowledge. She bit her lip. It was still swollen from Aiden’s kiss and she imagined she could taste him, just a little, as she ran her tongue across it. “I am sorry Mother, but I cannot have tea with the Edgecomb’s or attend a dress fitting. I forgot I have plans today.”
“Plans?” Theresa’s eyes narrowed with displeasure. “What sort of plans? You are not even dressed! Now do as I say and get ready for tea.”
Evie’s wrapper floated down to her ankles as she stood up and fixed her mother with a stare so fierce Theresa actually flinched. “You have been telling me what to do for as long as I can remember. I used to believe it was for my own benefit, but now I know it is for your own. You married the wrong person, Mother, and it has turned you into an unhappy, vindictive person. I do not intend to make the same mistake.”
Theresa sprang to her feet and followed Evie out of the drawing room and up the stairs. “What do you mean, you do not intend to make the same mistake? Does this have anything to do with Lord Reinhold? He may not be a duke like your grandfather, but he is very well to do!”
“Which is it, Mother?” Evie stopped abruptly in front of her bedroom and whirled around. “Because a moment ago you implied I was settling. Lord Reinhold is a good man, but he is not the right man for me. He never was. I only wanted to marry him so I could get away from you.”
“Why, you ungrateful brat!” Theresa’s cheeks filled with color. “How dare you say such a thing to me after all I have done for you!”
“And what is it exactly that you’ve done? Manipulated me? Starved me? Made me think so little of myself that I honestly believed I did not deserve true love?”
“Is that what this is about? True love?” Her lips pulled back in a sneer. “True love does not exist, you foolish girl. Not for women like us. We marry for wealt
h and we marry for privilege but we never marry for love.”
For the first time in her life, Evie actually felt pity for her mother. And she saw, clear as day, what would happen to her if she went down a similar path. Aiden, cocky bastard that he was, had been right. Not that she would ever actually tell him that. “Then maybe I will not marry,” she said evenly. “For when I do, it will only be for love.”
Theresa clasped her temple. “What has gotten into you? Be sensible, Genevieve! This is your future we are talking about.”
“I know that.”
“I do not think you do, or else you would not be dismissing your engagement so lightly.”
“I realize you do not understand.” Evie’s mouth lifted in a humorless smile. “I must admit, I don’t fully understand it myself. All I know is that if I marry Lord Reinhold I will come to regret it. He may seem like the only answer to problems, but there is another way. A better way.”
“And what way is that?” Theresa demanded.
“Love,” Evie said before she stepped into her bedroom and closed the door behind her.
Evie wanted to see her friends, but before she could seek out their council there was someone else she needed to visit first.
“Is he expecting you?” asked the butler when Evie arrived at Lord Reinhold’s townhouse an hour later, presentably attired in a green muslin dress embroidered with tan lace and a navy blue spencer jacket.
“No, he is not. But if you tell him Lady Genevieve is calling I believe he would like to see me.”
“Please wait in the parlor,” the butler instructed before he went off in search of Reinhold.
Left to twiddle her thumbs – both literally and figuratively – Evie walked in a slow circle around the room. The rain that had been falling since early in the morning had finally stopped by the sky was still drab and overcast. Yet despite the dreary weather she finally had a cheery bounce in her step. A bounce that was tempered only by the thought of what she was about to do.
Thankfully, she did not have long to wait. After only a few minutes the door the parlor swung open and Lord Reinhold, looking rather bewildered, stepped through.
“Lady Genevieve, it is a pleasure to see you.” His brow creased. “Did we have plans today?”
“No, no,” Evie assured him. “We had nothing planned. I – I simply needed to see you.” Behind her back her hands twisted into an anxious knot. It wasn’t often she was forced to admit she had done something wrong and she wasn’t looking forward to doing so now, but it needed to be done. Reinhold deserved honesty, if nothing else. “Would you care to take a seat?” Gesturing to an empty chair she sat across from it and tucked her ankles to the side.
His eyebrows knitted in bemusement, Reinhold did as she requested. “Is something wrong?”
“I suppose you could say that.” Evie took a deep, settling breath. This was one instance her sarcastic wit would not save her and she desperately wanted to say the right words instead of the easy ones. “I came here to discuss out engagement. I know it has only been a few days–”
“Five to be exact.”
“-but something has happened. To me. Something has happened to me and I am afraid I have not been entirely honest with you.”
“Go on,” Reinhold urged quietly when she fell silent. “I would like to hear what you have to say.”
Very well. It would be now, or it would be never. Lifting her head she forced herself to meet his gaze. “The reason I wanted to marry you was not because of any strong feelings I have for you, but because doing so would ensure my independence from my mother. I picked you because you were titled and you had wealth and a good family name. I thought those things were enough to make a marriage, but I have come to realize you need so much more if you want to be genuinely happy and I want that, Thomas.” It was the first time she had ever used his Christian name. “I want genuine happiness for both of us which is why I have come with the intent of ending our engagement.”
There. For better or for worse, it was out in the open. No more tricks. No more conniving. No more manipulation. She was finally letting Reinhold see her for who she was. She only hoped he would one day find it in his heart to forgive her.
An odd expression flickered across Reinhold’s face. “Are you certain this is what you want to do?”
“Yes.” A vague tightness in her chest reminded Evie there was one more thing she needed to say. “And there is something else you should know. I have met someone. A male someone. I don’t know what will come of it, if anything, but last night...last night we kissed.”
“You kissed someone else?”
Evie winced. “Yes. I am afraid so. I know it was terribly selfish of me, Thomas, and I am so very sorry. I know I have no right to ask this of you, but please do not hate me. You are a very kind and honorable man and it pains me to think I have hurt you.”
Reinhold sat back with a rueful twist of his lips. “Perhaps not so honorable. It seems, Lady Genevieve, that you are not the only one sneaking off to kiss another.”
Evie’s eyes widened in shock. “Do you mean to say–”
“Yes, I have met someone as well. To be more accurate, we met several weeks ago. She – she makes me feel things.” Reinhold lifted his hands in a helpless shrug. “Things I am ashamed to admit I never felt with you.”
“Oh thank heavens.” Evie exhaled in relief as a great weight lifted from her shoulders. “I am so glad!”
“You’re glad I have fallen in love with someone else?” Reinhold said doubtfully.
“Yes!” Too excited to remain sitting, she jumped to her feet and clapped her hands together. “Don’t you see? Deep down we both knew we were not right for one another and this proves it. Can we officially call off our engagement?”
Although slightly more reserved than Evie’s, Reinhold’s grin was no less bright. “With pleasure.”
“Who is she?” Evie knew she had no right to ask, but she couldn’t help herself. She was a creature of impulse. Speak first, think later. While parts of her may have changed, that part never would. “Do I know her?”
Reinhold shook his head. “I would be very surprised if you had. She...she is not a lady of the ton. She sells flowers, you see, and we met when I was purchasing a bouquet of tulips for you.” He grimaced. “Mother is going to kill me.”
“Do you love her?” Evie asked.
He hesitated for only a moment. “I do.”
“Then hang what your mother thinks. And hang what mine thinks as well. The man I have met is as equally unsuitable, but I believe that is one of the reasons I find him so attractive. No offense meant,” she said quickly.
“None taken.” Reinhold stood up. “I was happy to have been your fiancé, Lady Genevieve, if only for a little while. You truly are a beautiful – and unique – woman.”
“And you, Lord Reinhold, are a very special man.”
“Friends?” he asked, extending his right hand.
Taking his hand, Evie shook it with enthusiasm. “Friends.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“What do you mean, you and Lord Reinhold are no longer engaged?” Rosalind looked at Evie with dismay as they passed underneath a busy walking bridge. It was a bright, sunny day and Hyde Park was filled to the brim with pedestrians, carts, and carriages of all shapes and sizes.
“No, nothing like that.” Lifting her skirts to avoid dragging the hem through a puddle, Evie smiled. She knew she shouldn’t have been so happy. At least not while they were discussing such a serious subject. But she could not help herself! Over the past three days she had been grinning like a fool from sunup to sundown. The only damper on her good mood was her mother, but thankfully Theresa was so disgusted with her daughter she had retreated to the country for an ‘indeterminable length of time’, leaving Evie and her father in blessed peace and quiet.
With every passing day Evie felt better and better about her decision to end her engagement. She had no idea what ramifications it would have or what the future would bring, but for
once she did not care. Let fate decide where her sails would take her. She was done trying to manipulate her way into a happy ending.
“Lord Reinhold and I came to a mutual understanding, that’s all. We both decided we did not suit one another quite as well as we thought we did.”
Rosalind snapped her parasol back open the instant they stepped out on the other side of the bridge. Evie did the same. Their skin was so fair it would burn in a matter of minutes, particularly when there were no clouds to shield them from the sun. “I just do not understand,” she said. “I thought he was what you wanted.”
“As did I,” Evie admitted. “Until I met someone who made me realize that what I wanted wasn’t what I needed. If I married Reinhold, it wouldn’t be for love.”
“But I thought – never mind,” she said, cutting herself off.
“You thought I did not care about love? It is all right,” Evie said with a quiet laugh when Rosalind bit her lip and glanced to the side. “I did not think I did either. But that was only because I didn’t know what love could feel like.”
Rosalind’s startled gaze met Evie’s. “And now you do?”
“And now I do,” Evie confirmed.
“Who is he? Have I met him? How long have you known him? Is he – the man in the park! I knew there was something going on between the two of you!” she cried triumphantly when Evie nodded. “I could feel it. Like a wave of pulsating energy.”
A wave of pulsating energy. Honestly. Where did Rosalind come up with such things?
“We kissed,” she confessed.
“In the park? But I was watching you both very closely and I did not see you do anything of the sort.”
“No, not in the park.” Evie rolled her eyes. Ahead of them the path diverged into two separate walking trails and they took the less crowded one. Waiting until they had passed a bustle of gossipy women in large plumed hats she lowered her voice and said, “The next night, in the Rose Gardens.”
A Most Inconvenient Love Page 6
