“Jamie and I aren’t getting back together, and CT looks like he’s about to throw that girl against the wall and fuck her until she can’t walk. I’m alone, you’re alone, let’s go be alone together.” He gave her ass another squeeze to emphasize his point. “C,” Ryder yelled across the room. The drummer looked up from the girl’s tits and over to where they stood. Ry’s gaze shifted from his friend, to Tiff, then back again, silently asking permission. CT nodded his head towards the back of the bar, the gesture saying, ‘Go for it,’ before he returned his attention back to the girl with the braids. “See, it’s settled,” he said, lifting Tiff up and wrapping her legs around his waist.
Her mouth found his as he carried her through the empty bar and to the back room. Ryder walked the familiar path by memory. His tongue licking lazily inside of her mouth. It felt wrong, kissing someone other than Jamie, but he kept going. Eventually he wouldn’t feel anything.
The old couch wasn’t as comfortable as it usually was, but none of that stopped Ryder from lying down and crawling his way up Tiff’s body. His hand slipped down the front of her shorts. Pushing aside the thin swath of fabric, Ry sunk two fingers inside her damp pussy, and swirled them around and around. The squishing noises the wetness made woke the sleeping giant in his pants. It was the first time he’d gotten it up for anything other than his right hand.
“God,” she moaned into his mouth. Her back arched into him as he bit down on her collarbone. The sounds she made spurred him on. Her moans drowned out the agonized sobs screaming in his head. Tiff was familiar. Ryder was comfortable with her. She didn’t have any expectation other than sex and that was just fine with him. He had lived the last three months of his life in a drunken stupor. To have a beautiful woman writhing under him, to feel soft skin against his lips, made him feel like himself, like Sex God.
Sitting back on his haunches, Ryder pulled the gray tank over his head. Tiff’s eyes glazed over with lust. Her chest heaved up and down and her lipstick was smeared from his kiss. Any reservations she had were gone. She sat up, pulling her shirt off too. Her large breasts spilled out from under the racerback. Her tits were creamy and soft. Ryder’s teeth grazed her nipple. She had perfect tits.
Jamie used to stare at them for hours.
Jamie.
Jamie.
Jamie.
He had a beautiful woman underneath him and all he could think about was her. She was like a fucking ghost, haunting his every waking moment. Hell, Ryder even saw her in his dreams. “Fuck,” he hissed, shaking his head, desperately trying to focus but her scent was all wrong. She was warm and spicy, not light and fruity like his Kitty Cat.
His dick was softening by the second.
“What’s wrong?” Tiff panted, grabbing both sides of his face. She tried to pull him back in for another kiss but he turned his head.
“I’m sorry. I can’t,” he choked. “Fuck, I’m a little bitch.” His eyes were awash with unshed tears. God, he fucking missed that girl.
“No. No, it’s okay,” Tiff cooed, brushing a stray tear away with her thumb. “We can just talk if you want. Tell me what happened? I’ve never heard why you two broke up. No one talks about her, even when you’re not around.”
“It’s hard for them, too,” he whispered. His friends loved Jamie like a sister. Her absence affected everyone in his life.
“Look, I know I’m just a girl you guys fuck every once in a while—”
“It’s not like that,” he said, suddenly feeling like the world’s biggest asshole. Tiff was a nice girl—too desperate for attention—but then again, weren’t they all?
“It’s fine,” she said with a wave of her hand. “I like sex and I like you guys. I know what I signed up for. This isn’t about that.”
“Okay?”
“What you and Kitty Cat had was real, and when it’s real, it’s worth fighting for.”
Ryder groaned, sitting back on the cushion. “I’ve fought for us our entire relationship. I love her more than life itself, but I can’t be the only one fighting. I’m tired of doing it alone. If she wants me, she knows where to find me, but obviously, her money and her last name mean more to her than I did.”
“That’s not true.”
“Then where is she?” he asked. It sounded like he had a mouth full of marbles. It was pathetic. He was crying to the girl he was supposed to be rebounding with, about the girl who broke his heart.
“Life is beautiful, Ry. You can’t change the past, but you can learn from it and grow. That way you don’t have to spend the present steeped in anger or resentment. And the future, that’s the beautiful part, the future is yours to mold into whatever you want it to be. You just gotta let go of the grudges and stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
“That sounds like some of Kitty Cat’s Buddhist shit.”
Tiff shrugged, “She rubbed off on me, too.”
“I bet.” Ryder chuckled sadly. He took one last peek at her rack before tossing her, her tee. They really were great boobs, they were just on the wrong girl.
The next morning Ryder woke up feeling lighter. He got out of bed, showered off the remains of last night’s party and made the familiar drive down to Seventh Street. The most humanizing realization was that the world didn’t stop spinning just because Ryder did.
Humanity was humbling.
Ryder spent the last six months on a self-righteous pedestal, judging everyone around him for being too human. His parents, Jamie, they all made mistakes. He could live his life in a cloud of anger and hate, or he could stop holding grudges and learn to forgive. Forgiveness wasn’t weak. There was freedom in it, a freedom Ryder never knew.
The silver bell above the door chimed and Ryder pushed his way inside his sanctuary. The breakfast crowd was thinning. A table of construction workers gulped the dregs of their coffee, enjoying their last few moments before their work day began.
It was strange. For months Ryder avoided the diner, but now it was like he had never left. Hazel eyes scanned the room. He knew she was there, her schedule hadn’t changed in the last ten years. Ryder checked every blonde with the red uniform he could see, to no avail.
Maybe she was running late?
Ryder made his way to the counter. His plan was to ask Terry, one of the line cooks, where his mother was, and grab a bite to eat while he waited. He missed the food almost as much as he missed his mom. Sliding onto the stool, Ryder surveyed the dining room once more. In the back, sitting at his favorite booth was a blonde head he’d know anywhere.
His legs ate the distance. He didn’t know Jamie kept in touch with his mom, but then again, how would he? He hadn’t seen either of them in months. “Kitty Cat?” The woman turned around and his heart sank. “Are you lost?” he growled at the older, stuck-up version of Jamie.
Was she there too?
He did another quick scan of the crowd, his heart beating wildly in his chest. Please. Please. Please.
As if reading his mind, Caroline sighed. “She isn’t here.”
“Then, why are you?” He couldn’t help himself. This was a direct connection to Jamie, and though he was pissed at her, he couldn’t deny he missed her.
“I had breakfast with your mother. Well, she ate. I had more of a liquid meal,” she grinned, unscrewing the top of a small, rose-gold flask and tipped its contents into the glass of ice in front of her.
“How do you even know my mother?” Ryder asked, taking a seat. The Manning’s had caused him enough harm, but fucking with his mother was crossing the line.
“We met the last time I was here. I had lunch with James. Your mother’s quite protective of her,” she said bitterly.
“Someone needs to be.”
Caroline narrowed her eyes at Ryder. “I may never win parent of the year, but James is my daughter, and everything I’ve ever done, right or wrong, has been to protect her. It’s just taken me longer than I’d like to admit to realize who she needed protecting from.” Lifting the glass, she took a sip of what he assumed was v
odka. Her face remained passive but her voice gave her away. She was worried, and that made him worry.
“What changed?” he asked. Why now, after months of being ‘Team Jared’, was she here talking to his mother?
“You changed everything,” Caroline said with a scowl.
Ryder stared at her in confusion. “I haven’t spoken to your daughter in months.”
“I know.”
“Then why are you here?”
“Because she’s unhappy.”
“She’s been unhappy her entire life.” Ryder was done with this conversation. If Jamie wasn’t there, they had nothing to talk about. The shiny, red plastic seat squeaked as he stood. This was going nowhere and he needed to find his mom.
“That’s where you’re wrong, Napoleon.” Caroline wrapped a manicured finger around his wrist and gestured for him to have a seat. Ryder wasn’t sure why he did it; morbid curiosity maybe, but he sat his ass down.
“She was happy for a spell. There was a spark in her eyes, one I never noticed before. And you can imagine my horror when I discovered you were responsible for it. I swear James lives to test me, but that’s not the point.”
“Oh, so there is one?” he asked. No wonder Jamie was so fucked up. Ryder was going crazy after only five minutes in her presence. He couldn’t imagine a lifetime.
“It’s gone now—no, not the point,” she added sardonically, taking another sip of her lunch. “The spark. It’s like that thing your mind does when you see something for the first time, like a book or a certain kind of car. Once you know a thing exists, you begin to seek it out. But the problem is the spark is gone. I check for it every time I see my daughter, but it hasn’t returned. I don’t like it. It makes me sad, and frowning causes wrinkles. Do you see my dilemma?”
Ryder nodded. Caroline was like some sort of vapid Yoda. She made no sense, but perfect sense. It was trippy.
“On the one hand, you’re poor, and while Archer has finally released her trust, I don’t love the idea of my daughter being someone’s sugar mama.”
“I’ve never asked Jamie for a cent.”
“On the other hand, Jared, who is perfect on paper, looks at her like she’s a piece of meat. The way he handles her…” She bristled in disgust. “I don’t care about love. It’s useless, but I will not hand my daughter over to a predator either.” She took another drink. The bell over the door chimed and Ryder craned his neck, hoping to spot his mother. For all he knew, one breakfast with Caroline was enough to make her run for the fucking border.
“Jamie broke up with me. I don’t think I have as much influence over her decision-making as you think.”
“My God, you’re an idiot,” Caroline groaned. “For the life of me, I can’t understand what she sees in you. I mean, you’re handsome, in a tattooed, ex-felon who will ruin your credit kind of way, but a complete imbecile.”
Vapid Yoda strikes again.
“You’re not nice,” Ryder said. It wasn’t a question but a statement of fact. Caroline Manning was a fucking bitch, and she didn’t make any apologies for it.
“Nice. What’s nice? I’m honest, and it’s gotten me a lot further than nice ever will. Now, would you like to know the reason for my lunch with your mother?”
Ryder inhaled, taking a page from Jamie’s book. “I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”
“You need to win James back.”
“She doesn’t want me.” Three months. Jamie had three-fucking-months to apologize, to figure her shit out, but instead of making amends, she’d been traipsing around town on Jared-fucking-Foster’s arm. It sucked, but she’d made her choice.
“If you think that, then you really are an idiot. Why do you think she broke up with you?”
Ryder narrowed his eyes at Jamie’s mother. She wore a white button down blouse and dress pants. Business casual, though Ryder knew she wouldn’t be punching anyone’s clock, ever. “She said it was because she was afraid of me, but deep down I think she changed her mind about giving up all that money.”
“James doesn’t care about money. She has never cared about pleasing me or her father. In fact, there are very few things in this world she cares about. Her brother, Kensington, and now you.”
“Me?” he snorted. “She ripped my heart out.”
“You think she did that because she stopped…” she paused, wrinkling her nose like her next words were unfathomable, “loving you? No. Archer forced her hand.”
“What could be worse than taking away her trust fund?”
“My daughter cares about three things.” Caroline repeated, emphasizing her earlier point. “Christopher is the heir. Kensington is American royalty. You are nothing. Who do you think Archer could use to scare James into submission?”
“I’m not afraid of Archer and I can take care of myself.”
“Like you did the day at the hospital? You assaulted my husband, in front of a security camera. Did you know James had to beg Archer not to press charges? Do you have any idea what the penalty is for aggravated assault? No? Let me clue you in; a year, minimum.”
Ryder was quiet as he took in her words. A fucking year. That rat bastard would have had him locked up for a fucking year. It would have ruined everything with the band. You don’t get second chances in music. Most don’t get a chance at all. Suddenly, everything made sense.
“He gets it! Hallelujah.”
“That’s enough, Barbie.” Ryder turned to see his mother approach. “Hey, baby boy,” she smiled.
God, he had missed his mother. Fifteen minutes with Caroline and he quickly realized what a fucking asshole he’d been. “I’m sorry, Ma.”
“Well,” Caroline sighed, polished off the rest of her drink, and stood. “This has all been great fun, but I have a ball to shop for. Your mother will fill you in on the particulars.” Caroline shouldered her expensive looking bag, and sauntered out of the dinner.
“She. Is. Awful,” Ryder grunted once she was out of earshot.
“The worst,” Annette chuckled, dropping a Shirley Temple in front of her son. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here this morning.”
Ryder took his mother in, her hair a mix of blonde and gray, her eyes, tired. Years of serving coffee and working doubles had done a number on her, but she did it, all of it, alone. She never once complained. Never blamed him or treated him with an ounce of malice. Who was he to judge her for wanting closure?
“I’m a terrible son,” he whispered.
“You’re not so bad,” she said, tucking a strand of blond hair behind his ear. Ryder placed a kiss on each of her knuckles. He was wrong about his mother. She wasn’t weak, she had the type of silent strength that endured.
“I was wrong for judging you. I should have trusted you. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“I promise. I’ll never let that happen again.”
“I believe you, Ma.”
“Okay, good. Now, let me tell you how that witch plans to get your girl back.”
Even the most expensive chiffon was miserable. There was something about the way the fabric brushed up against the skin, something in the way it moved, it was all wrong. Jamie was never a fan of dresses, but the pink, pleated Gucci number she wore was her own personal torture chamber.
Tonight, was the night; the Christmas party at the Governor’s Mansion in Olympia. Jared planned to announce his candidacy in the upcoming election. He had his sights set on Representative Hudson seat in the House. Rep. Hudson was due to retire and per Jared, “People are sick of career politicians.” He believed with the changing political climate, his inexperience would be viewed as a good thing. A true man of the people. Jamie only cared about how his ambition would affect her. He’d be on the campaign trail most of next year, and had already dropped hints about them marrying before he left.
“Stop fidgeting,” Jared reprimanded as their car pulled to a stop. Thousands of tiny white bulbs twinkled and strings of white lights highlighted the beautiful mansion. A row of cars lined up out fr
ont as politicians, local businessmen, and dignitaries waited for their turn to be shuffled through security and escorted inside.
“I hate this dress,” Jamie sneered, looking out the tinted glass. In the middle of the sea of people, a tall blond man caught her eye and she forced herself to blink back the tears. Jamie saw Ryder everywhere and in everyone. Last week, while on location, she nearly tackled a man who wore a pair of Doc Martens. He didn’t even look like Ryder, but the shoes triggered something in her brain. Napoleon Ryder was seared onto Jamie’s soul and no matter how hard she scrubbed, she couldn’t wash him away.
The valet, a young woman in a bright red vest, opened the door and Jamie and Jared exited the limo. Camera’s flashed and reporters fired off questions in rapid succession.
“Mr. Foster, congratulations on the deal with Tokyo Gijutsu.”
“Mr. Foster, is it true you’re planning to run for Hudson’s seat, next year?”
“Jamie, Jared, pose for a picture?”
Jared paused, dropping his hand to the small of her back. “You are the most beautiful woman in attendance tonight,” he whispered in her ear. “I know that bitch mother of yours did a number on your self-esteem, but you’re perfect.” He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to her mouth, causing a flurry of flashbulbs and a new onslaught of questions.
“Are there wedding bells in your future?”
“Did your affair with his daughter affect your decision regarding the takeover of Manning Solutions?”
“Is this why Archer retained a spot on the board?”
Jamie was grateful to security for shuffling them forward. It wasn’t the first-time Jared had stolen a kiss, but the urge to vomit never went away. She only hoped her face didn’t reveal her true feelings. Since local media caught wind of their “romance”, the papers had been obsessed. The shrewd businessman falling for his opponent’s daughter was the stuff of fairytales. According to them, Jamie captured Jared’s heart, and saved her father’s business in the process. The society pages loved her. She’d done more for Jared’s reputation in a few months than all his accomplishments combined.
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