All kinds of people gambled, and I didn’t want to tell her, but computer people were some of the most compulsive. They always thought they could beat the odds, outsmart the rules. Because I couldn’t forget, even if I wanted to, I pulled up the image of a middle-aged man, frantic and begging as he gave me the last of his life savings and retirement plan in order to get in on a private game at Spanky’s a week ago. He was into me for over three hundred thousand and the Lexus wouldn’t even touch his debt. I had no idea he was Brysen’s dad, and frankly it didn’t matter. My job was to take money, not save families or fathers from themselves.
“Everyone gambles on something. Football, horses, cars, with their lives, with cheap sex and dangerous drugs, with love.” I looked at her hard. “I didn’t know he was your dad. I don’t usually ask names and personal details. I just take the cash and make the wager or let them have at a table.”
She blew out a breath and her eyes flicked from me back to the open bay.
“Give the car back, Race.” Her voice was low, shaky. I knew she was more in shock about the revelation about her dad than the fact that I had taken the car from him. That didn’t mean she understood, or that she would forgive me, but at least I knew the real reason she looked like she wanted to throw up on me.
I shook my head slowly and let her see the real regret in my gaze as I watched her. “I can’t do that.”
She hissed out a breath between her teeth and stomped away from me to her car.
I looked at her and frowned and told her flatly, “This business isn’t exactly one where you make friends, Brysen. I don’t ask for full names and stats. I just take the money, and when they don’t have the money to pay me back, I take something else.” Maybe she didn’t need to know the rest, but we were this far into it, so I let her know: “The Lexus doesn’t even start to cover the amount your dad is in for, Bry.”
Something crossed her pretty face and her eyes gleamed at me with something sad and furious. “If you had known he was my dad, would it have made any difference?”
If she didn’t matter to me I would’ve just lied to her.
“No. I still would’ve let him sit at the table, still would’ve taken the Lexus for the debt. It’s what I do.”
She shook her head and told me in a frigid tone, “Fuck you.”
I lifted an eyebrow. “Anytime, anyplace you want, pretty girl.”
She opened her mouth like she was going to say something else, I saw her struggle with words that wouldn’t come, and then she just shook her head and muttered so low I almost couldn’t hear it:
“Your job sucks, Race. What you do is not something I think I can be part of. You ruin lives.”
Now she was getting the picture. I didn’t say anything as she got into her car and drove away. When the gates closed behind her, it was like watching her get locked out of my world forever. I really never should have let her into the fortress in the first place. This world was bleak and gray. There was no place here for the summer sky.
I felt Bax walk up behind me and smelled the acrid waft of smoke that always clung to him.
“Problem?”
I looked over my shoulder at him and shrugged. “Her dad is in deep and she didn’t even know he liked to play cards. Unfortunately, he’s shit at it and is in for three hundred K at the very least.”
“Fuck that.”
“Yeah. She’s pissed probably more at him than at me, but I can’t give the Lexus back, and that hurt her.”
“If you give it back you would look like a pussy.”
I frowned at him. “I would look like paying up what you owe doesn’t matter, and that can’t happen.”
“What happened to you anyway? Nassir throw you in the Pit?”
The Pit was the bloodstained circle on the concrete floor where men tried to kill each other with bare hands and college kids danced to bad house music.
“Marcus Whaler didn’t want to pay what he owed. Instead of figuring his shit out, he paid some thug half of what his debt was to try and persuade me to let him off the hook.” I grunted. “It didn’t work, and now Marcus has two broken kneecaps.”
“What about the hired muscle?”
“If Marcus had more cash I would be dead. The guy didn’t have a weapon, wasn’t anything more than a gym rat looking for a thrill and a quick buck. After I put him on the ground, I told him to get in touch with Nassir. He’s perfect for the Pit on fight night, and when I started talking money, all he cared about was green, not finishing me off for Marcus.”
“You need to start taking a goddamn gun with you, Race. This shit is getting more and more dangerous.”
I couldn’t argue with him and it was starting to get old. I needed to put on some shoes and a shirt. Standing around half naked in the barren garage was doing nothing to help my injured body.
“Yeah, and I’m going to talk to Nassir about hiring some bagmen. The big-dollar stuff I still want to handle, but the little stuff—anything under ten K—we can have errand boys handle. I’m sick of getting used as a punching bag.”
We walked back into the garage. I rubbed my hands through my hair and winced as the motion pulled at my sore sides.
“You gonna be able to deal if that chick doesn’t come around?”
I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. I had never really been serious about a girl, but I liked Brysen, would keep her if I could, but my life wasn’t for everyone, and she had to want to be here in the trenches if things between us were ever going to be more than fun and sexual games.
“I don’t know. Maybe?” It was a question I didn’t have an answer for at the moment. “I can’t worry about her right now. The feds raided the Hartman castle today and took Dad away in cuffs. They froze all the accounts and Mom called freaking out.”
“Bullshit. You are not helping that asshole out.” His voice had dropped an octave and I could feel the anger and hate pouring off his big body. My dad had tried to have Dovie killed. It wasn’t something Bax was ever going to forget. If he ever got a chance, I knew, just knew he would put my father in the ground and not think twice about it because he loved my sister and that was the only thing that made sense to him.
“No. I hope he turns on Benny and the rest of the crew and they have their people shank him while he’s locked up. He’ll never make it to a trial date, he’s too soft.”
“What if the feds try and put him in witness protection like they did to that bitch who sold Dovie out?”
If they put him in witness protection—WITSEC—then I would track him down and let Bax have at him and there would be no guilt when I did it; at least that’s what I tried to convince myself I would do.
“If that happens I’ll find him and you can do what you need to do.”
His dark eyes took measure to see if what I was saying was true. I hated that it was there, the distrust he couldn’t shake. I didn’t regret the choices I had made that had sent him to prison, it had saved his life after all, gotten him free of Novak the only way possible. I did, however, hate that it had broken the ironclad bond we had always had.
“What I need to do won’t be pretty.”
“I know that. Speaking of doing things that aren’t pretty, you think you can take a few hours one day next week and swing by the university with me?”
One of his jet-black eyebrows winged up.
“For?”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “I think it’s time someone had a chat with the TA giving Brysen a hard time.”
He chuckled a little and walked to the Hemi. “She gonna appreciate you getting involved?”
“Probably not. But I’m going to do it anyway.”
He put a hand on the polished fender of the car and looked at me steadily.
“Do you think the reason you are so hooked into this girl is because she reminds you of what you lost? She’s all glossy and shiny, kind of like you used to be before I dragged you down into the gutter.”
I prodded at the cut in the center of my lip with a fin
ger and thought about what he asked. She was glossy and shiny, but inside she was tough and kind of gritty.
“She had to move home to take care of her kid sister. She has some lunatic stalking her. She’s works a shit job with shit hours, but she’s committed to it. She’s getting screwed over at school because she won’t put out for some loser. She just found out her dad owes the guy she’s screwing a ton of money, and that I took the family ride for collateral. On the outside she might look like my old life, but on the inside I think she is completely full of my new life.”
He dipped his head in a slight nod and I reached out to shove him on the shoulder. It was like pushing against a brick wall.
“Besides, there was no dragging into the gutter involved. I chased you into the streets, Bax. I guess at the time, I always thought there would be a way out if I needed one.”
He grunted. “Is that what you’re doing? This business with Nassir, the money and the risk? You still looking for a way out?”
Was that what I was doing? Sometimes I didn’t even know anymore, but I did know two things that were crystal clear in my mind.
“You’re here. Dovie is here. That means if I have any kind of say in the matter, I’m going to make this a survivable place to be.”
“You think you’re going to single-handedly pull the Point out of the fire, Race?”
I turned away and started back toward the stairs.
“No. But I do think I can control the burn, Bax, and that’s all I really want to do.”
I didn’t wait to see what his response was. I hurt and needed to find some kind of painkiller. I needed to call Titus and see if he could find out what the deal with my father was, and more importantly, I needed to figure out what I was going to do about Brysen.
I had always thought I could take care of myself, that I was smarter than this awful place that I called home. Now I wasn’t so sure. The Point had been around for a long time, had seen all variations of evil come and go. The only thing that ever seemed to change here was the seasons.
Chapter 11
Brysen
I WAS SO ANGRY when I got home, I had to take a minute before I went inside. I was furious at Race, furious at my dad, furious at myself for not realizing sooner that something else was going on besides my father turning a blind eye to what was happening at home. More than all of that, though, I was livid at the fact that both of my parents had watched me walk away from my life to come home and try and piece everything back together when it was now crystal clear neither one of them had any intention of trying to stop the downward spiral. My mom had no interest in rehab or in seeking counseling, and evidently, my dad had addiction issues of his own that were just as bad and just as devastating to this family. The unjustness of it all made my blood boil and had fury so bright and sharp on the tip of my tongue, it was all I could taste.
I slammed the door to my car way harder than was needed and marched into the house without a plan. I was fueled by new revelations, and all the things I had been swallowing down for the last year or so were breaking free of the stranglehold I normally kept on them. I shoved open the front door and didn’t even bother to close it as I marched with purpose and ferocity to my dad’s closed office door. I didn’t bother to knock and didn’t bother to announce myself or make any kind of pleasantries. I just stormed in and attacked.
His head snapped up from the computer screen and his eyes got wide. “Brysen?”
I put my hands on the edge of the desk and leaned over so that he had no choice but to look at me and not at the computer monitor.
“I know you lost the Lexus because of a gambling debt, Dad. I also know it doesn’t even begin to cover what you owe.”
His eyes got even bigger, if that was possible, and all the color fled from his face.
“What are you talking about?”
I narrowed my eyes at him and pushed off the desk so I could cross my arms over my chest in a defensive stance.
“I know, Dad.”
“You don’t know anything, little girl.” His tone got sharp, and where he had been pale a minute ago, now a hot red flooded into his cheeks. “Everything I have done I have done to keep this family afloat since your mother’s accident. Do you think those doctor bills were cheap? Do you think the settlement we had to pay to that other family was pulled out of thin air? I did what I had to do.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t stop, did you?”
He just glared at me and I glared at him even harder.
“How much do you owe, Dad?”
He huffed and puffed and pushed back in his chair. “That’s none of your concern. I have everything under control.”
I wanted to chuck something heavy at his head. He most definitely didn’t have anything under control. It was glaringly obvious.
“What about Mom? Does she know about this, or is that why you have no problem keeping her in a steady supply of booze? She’s already depressed and all messed up, so maybe you think enabling her to self-medicate will keep her off your back while you lose whatever this family has left.”
He flinched and I saw the horrible truth of my words reflected in his gaze. What in the hell was wrong with my family?
He heaved a heavy sigh and flopped back in his swivel chair. He covered his face with his hands, and right before my eyes suddenly looked a hundred years old.
“There isn’t anything left to lose, Brysen. My 401(k), all our savings, the credit cards, and my car—all of it is gone.” His eyes got glassy and he looked really scared when he told me, “The mortgage on the house hasn’t been paid for months and months. We went into foreclosure a month after you moved in. Luckily, the banks are still trying to dig out of the rut the recession put them in and are backed up. It’s going to happen eventually. We’re going to have to leave when the bank takes possession.”
I felt my lungs seize, felt everything inside of me go ice cold. I exhaled slowly and saw the room start to fade around the edges of my vision.
“So you are telling me you knew this entire time that you were going to lose the house, that no matter what happened, Karsen was going to have to change schools and end up tossed around and uprooted?”
He didn’t answer me, but he didn’t need to. The truth was evident in everything that had happened inside these walls over the last year.
I shook my head. “You’re disgusting.”
I turned and went to go find my mom. I was over it. I was telling her it was well past time that she checked into an in-patient treatment program and I didn’t care if I had to get two more jobs to pay for it. The chaos that was the Carter household ended today.
“Brysen.” My dad’s tone was sharp, so I stopped and looked at him over my shoulder with one foot already out of his office. “How did you find out?”
Well, that was a tricky question, wasn’t it? I gave a bitter little laugh. “Race Hartman is Dovie’s older brother. We’ve been spending a lot of time together the last few weeks.”
He bolted up in his chair and slammed his hands down on the desk.
“No. I forbid that. He’s not a young man you can have in your life. He’s dangerous.”
I knew that, but so far, all that danger was directed at other people and all he had done for me was try and protect me and take care of me. Right about now, out of the two of them, Race and my dad, Race was by far the lesser of two evils, even if I was seriously pissed at him.
“No, Dad, he’s not. People like you, people who don’t know when to stop even when it’s obvious they are putting their family, their lives, at risk, are the dangerous ones. Race just gives men like you enough rope to hang yourself with.”
My dad swore and then the anger in his gaze got speculative. “How close are you to Hartman, exactly?”
Oh my God, he did not just seriously ask me that.
“No. He won’t forgive the debt or give the Lexus back on account of me, Dad.”
Now it was his turn to bark out a harsh laugh that grated.
“Oh, don’t be
naive, Brysen. I’m wondering if your boyfriend is invested enough in you that I might make it out of this hole I dug alive. Race has a business partner that doesn’t take too kindly to being stiffed. If I don’t come up with at least half of what I owe, there is a good chance you’ll be getting a phone call to come and identify my body in the morgue.”
I didn’t even have the words to respond to that, so I just finished making my escape from the office and trucked my way to my parents’ room, where I knew my mom was bound to still be in bed. I was surprised, though, that when I came around the corner, she was in the hallway leaning against the wall. She was crying. The crying wasn’t anything new, the fact that she was sober, and that her gaze was sharp and clear, was.
“He gambled the house away?”
“That’s what it looks like.”
She bit her bottom lip and started to wring her hands. “This is all my fault. If I hadn’t been drinking, hadn’t caused that accident, none of this would be happening now.”
I didn’t disagree with her, so I didn’t offer up platitudes and useless reassurances.
“Well, now you have the opportunity to try and make some better choices, Mom. You need help, physical and mental. You need to be in a treatment program, and you need to see a professional for your depression. All the vodka in the world isn’t going to help you get a handle on it.”
She started to cry harder. “I can’t believe this is happening. How could he do this to us?”
I wanted to shake her. They both had a firm hand in the disaster that was currently unfolding, but it was past the time to start handing out blame.
“Mom—”
She interrupted me with a wail. “What’s going to happen to you and Karsen?”
In my opinion, it was way too late to worry about that, so I simply told her the truth. “I’ll take care of Karsen, just like I’ve been doing for the last year.”
She sniffled a little and put a hand to her chest. After a moment of silence, she dipped her chin at me.
“Your aunt Eleanor in Texas would probably be willing to take you girls in for a while.”
Better When He's Bold Page 15
