Our Cracked Pieces
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Copyright 2020 Monica Clayton
Published by M.E. Clayton
All Rights Reserved
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
This book is a work of fiction. The entire content is a product of the author’s imagination and all names, places, businesses, and incidences are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons (living or dead), places or occurrences, is entirely coincidental.
No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any manner, whatsoever, without the express written consent from the author, except in the case of brief quotation embodied in critical articles or reviews.
Formatting: Smashwords
Cover: Adobe Stock
Warning: This book contains sexual situations and other adult themes. Recommended for 18 years of age and over.
Table of Contents
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Author's Note
Acknowledgements
Dedication
Prologue
1. Rowan
2. Lorcan
3. Rowan
4. Lorcan
5. Rowan
6. Lorcan
7. Rowan
8. Lorcan
9. Rowan
10. Lorcan
11. Rowan
12. Lorcan
13. Rowan
14. Lorcan
15. Rowan
16. Lorcan
17. Rowan
18. Lorcan
19. Rowan
20. Lorcan
21. Rowan
22. Lorcan
23. Rowan
24. Lorcan
25. Rowan
26. Lorcan
27. Rowan
28. Lorcan
29. Rowan
30. Lorcan
31. Rowan
32. Lorcan
33. Rowan
34. Lorcan
35. Rowan
36. Lorcan
37. Rowan
38. Lorcan
39. Rowan
40. Lorcan
Epilogue
About the Author
Other Books
Contact Me
Author’s Note
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Just a couple of things before I let you go and get your read on. While I am doing my best to work with better editing and proofreading software, all my books are solo, independent works. I write my books, proofread my books, edit my books, create the covers, etc. I have one beta who gives me feedback on my stories, but other than that, all my books are independent projects.
That being said, I apologize, in advance, for the typos, grammar inconsistencies, or any other mistakes I may make. Since writing is strictly a hobby for me, I haven’t looked into commitments in regard to publishers, editors, etc. My hope is that my stories are enjoyable enough that a few mistakes, here and there, can be overlooked. However, if you’re a stickler for grammar, my books are probably not for you.
Also, I am an avid reader-I mean an AVID reader. I love to read above any other hobby. However, the only downside to my reading obsession is when I fall in love with a series, but I have to wait for the additional books to come out. And because I feel that disappointment down to my soul, when I started publishing my works, I vowed to publish all books in my series all at once. No waiting here…LOL. Now, the exception to that will be if enough readers request additional stories based off the standalone, such as in Facing the Enemy. At that point, if I decide to move forward with a requested series, I will make sure all additional books are available all at once. As much as this is a hobby for me, I am writing these books for all of you, as well as myself.
Thank you, for everything!
Acknowledgements
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I always thank my husband, because he constantly needs to be thanked, in my opinion. It’s not an exaggeration to say my husband is probably one of the best people in the world. A great husband, father, G-pop, and all-around human being, I never forget just how lucky I am.
Of course, it goes without saying, my children are my biggest cheerleaders and, despite of all the mistakes I’ve made as a parent, they continue to love me unconditionally. And it’s the sweetest thing to see how overboard they go with making sure I stay healthy and safe.
My sister is another person in my life I am thankful to still have. We’ve been through a lot this past year, but we got through it together. I am very grateful to have a sibling relationship that is strong and full of love, and she really is a great sister.
As always, there’s my beta, Kam. Not only is she my beta, but she’s also one of my best friends. Once you get her as a friend, her support and loyalty are unwavering. I cannot imagine being on this journey of creating stories and writing without her.
Then there are the people who support me with so much enthusiasm, it’s contagious: Joe, Kim, Heather, Esela, Myron, Desiree, and every Tuesday.
I cannot thank you enough for the encouragement and help you readers have given me along the way! Love, love, love you!!
Dedication
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For my husband-
My Gage, Lorcan, Grayson,
Dash,
Archer,
Ramsey Jr.,
and Cassius
all rolled into one.
I love you.
vic·tim
/ˈviktəm/
noun
a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action.
sur·vi·vor
/sərˈvīvər/
noun
a person who copes well with difficulties in their life.
Survivors are born.
Victims are made.
Part
I
Prologue
The shame is like it always is. Crippling.
The revulsion is like it always is. Overwhelming.
The regret is like it always is. Painful.
The sensation is like it always is. Horrifying.
And the nightmare of it all is like it always is. Unyielding.
But what was there to do about it now? I’d made my choices, and though wrong, did I really deserve this? Did I really deserve this as my penance? Was this really the appropriate restitution?
I didn’t think so.
But what did I know? How did someone weigh one person’s opinion over another person’s? Whose opinion matter most? Who decided, in their infinite wisdom, whose word meant more than the other? How was a person’s value determined when we were all so different from each other?
A guy could grope a woman on the bus, and after a slap and a ‘fuck you’, she might just go about her day, as if nothing happened. She might even turn it into a ridiculous story she tells her friends or coworkers over drinks.
But take the same scenario, only the woman in this story isn’t as feisty as our first heroine, and after she’s groped, she’s so sickened that a stranger had his hands on her, she runs off the bus, feeling disgusted and violated, and it is days before she can finally wash away all the disgrace.
Who decides the severity of the man’s actions? The woman? The law? Society?
If a husband is guilting his wife into g
iving him a blowjob when she doesn’t really want to, is that coercion? And if she does it to keep the peace or not get slapped around, is it really sexual assault if she still made the choice to do it?
And what do you do when the perpetrator doesn’t believe he’s doing anything wrong?
What then?
Snapping me out of my thoughts, the fingers stretching me open were bringing on another burning sensation because this didn’t feel good. My body wasn’t enjoying any of this.
It never did.
But he never noticed, or simply didn’t care. As long as this ended how he wanted it to, it didn’t matter what I was feeling. If my feelings mattered, this wouldn’t be happening in the first place. And he was actually convinced that, as long as it wasn’t intercourse, there was nothing wrong with what he was doing to me. I was eighteen already, so it was all good.
No harm, no foul.
Only it was harmful. Even if only to me, it was still harmful.
However, in a moment of panic, I had made a decision that was my own. I hadn’t been able to see past my fear and alarm to realize there’d been other choices besides the one I had made.
Another finger joined the two that were already paining me, and I knew we’d be moving on to the finale soon. The fingers penetrating my body, the dirty words panted in my ear, none of it was for me. They were his work up, his way of getting ready. It was his way of warning me of what was coming next.
Two months.
Two months, and graduation will give me a freedom I so desperately needed. A freedom that was probably an illusion, but I didn’t care.
I didn’t care as long as I never saw him again.
Chapter 1
Rowan~
“Can you believe it? Only two more months, and we’re going to be on our way to college,” Mandy cheered. “We’ll be adults, calling our own shots.”
The very idea of being able to finally control my own life sent unexpected tingles down my back. I was already eighteen, but still living at home, still attending high school, and still at the mercy of adults made me feel like I was still sixteen.
They say age was a state of mind, and right now, I felt like I was forty. I wasn’t like Mandy, Carly, or Tammy. I wasn’t carefree or flighty. Even though Mandy, Carly and Tammy were my closest friends, I’d left clothes, shoes, boys, and social media obsessions behind a while back.
Six weeks, to be exact.
And in those six weeks, I’ve grown so much. More than I wish I would ever have had to.
“I can’t wait to get to Michigan,” Carly chimed in. She’d gotten into the University of Michigan, and she was super excited about it. “While I’m going to miss you hookers terribly, I can’t wait to meet new people.” Carly was the social butterfly of our little foursome.
“I can’t wait to drown myself in all those college guys,” Tammy said, fanning herself dramatically. “No more boys, ladies. We’ll finally be in the company of men.” I tried my best not to cringe at that. “I can’t wait.”
“Well, since I’m following Darnell to Ohio State, college guys aren’t a factor for me,” Mandy said. “Not that they ever were.” Mandy and Darnell have been dating since the eighth grade, and they were crazy for each other. I wasn’t a big believer in the whole high-school-sweethearts thing, but if anyone could make it through the pitfalls of adulthood, it was Mandy and Darnell.
Tammy rolled her eyes. “Well, not all of us can have a boyfriend who worships the ground we walk on.”
“Green looks wicked on you, Tam,” Carly teased.
Tammy laughed. “Hell yeah, I’m jealous,” she replied. “And don’t act like you aren’t either.”
Carly grinned. “Have been since sophomore year when Darnell carried her out of Hendrix Gray’s party in that fireman hold after one of their fights.”
Mandy laughed at that. “One of the best nights of my life,” she said, winking at all of us.
Tammy nudged my knee with hers. “What about you, Row?” We were all sitting at our usual lunch bench, me and Tammy on one side, Carly and Mandy on the other. “Aren’t you excited? You’re going to freakin’ Georgetown.”
My strength was numbers. I’ve always been good with them, and I liked how there was no room for error with math. I liked the order of it, and I wanted to go into accounting. I liked the idea of being an auditor and fishing out things that didn’t make sense. While I had no desire to go into police work, I liked the detective vibe of auditing.
My older brother, Grayson, was a sophomore at Boston College, where he was attending to get his teaching degree. Grayson wanted to teach high school and coach football, and I had no doubt he’d accomplish both. Grayson was driven and determined, and pretty awesome, really.
“I am excited,” I answered. “It’s just…well, I’m going to miss you guys.” That wasn’t a lie. Our foursome has been a foursome since the seventh grade, and I was going to miss these girls terribly. “I guess it’s hard to be excited about something that’s going to be sad, also.” I wasn’t completely lying, so I knew I sounded believable.
Mandy reached over and plucked a fry off my lunch plate. “That explains your depressing mood lately,” she said. “I was about to stage an intervention to find out what the hell has crawled up your ass these past few weeks.”
Guilt and paranoia slithered down my back. I’d been doing my best to hide my dark moods, but I guess I haven’t been doing a very good job. “I haven’t been that bad,” I denied.
Tammy snorted. “Rowan, you’ve been in your own little world these past few weeks, that you missed Joseph Redman asking you out last week after the spirit rally.”
I almost laughed at that. Even if we weren’t going to graduate in a couple of months, there’s no way I could bring myself to start dating someone right now.
The thought made my skin crawl.
“Can you blame me?” I asked, trying to play it off. “This is a big deal, guys. We’re heading off to different parts of the country. We’re…yeah, I’m excited, but a part of me is feeling super intimidated, too.”
Carly’s brows jumped high. “You? Intimidated? Since when?”
I’ve always been a confident girl. My parents, Stanley and Lillian Lewis, had raised me and my brother to stand up for ourselves, and always fight the good fight. My father was a lawyer, and my mother was a middle school teacher. They were a good team, and I liked to think that me and my brother were one, as well.
And it wasn’t that I was no longer confident, but the foundation of who I was had been shaken, and I didn’t know how to fix it.
“Okay, maybe not intimidated,” I amended. “But…I don’t know. So much is changing.”
“But that’s the whole point,” Tammy said. “And with social media taking over the world, it’s not like we’re going to lose touch with each other. There’s no way we’re going to drift apart.”
“I agree,” Mandy added. “We might not be together, but we’ll still be there for each other.”
“You guys are right,” I agreed. And while I couldn’t tell them the truth of these past few weeks, I couldn’t let them go on thinking that I was upset or preoccupied because of them. “I guess I was just letting myself become overwhelmed.”
“Well, relax, chick,” Jillian said. “Besides, you have a hot brother who is in his second year of college. Grayson can walk you through anything you need to know.”
I eyed her. “That pep talk could have been done without mentioning the words ‘hot’ and ‘brother’ in the same sentence.”
Tammy laughed. “You need to get over that denial, Row,” she cackled. “Your brother is hot as sin.”
“Always has been,” Mandy added.
This time, I threw a fry at her. “Hey! You’re in love, remember?”
“I’m not blind,” she snorted.
When they all started laughing, a part of me wanted to blurt out my truth. It was on the tip of my tongue to confess the mess I’ve made of things. I wanted to unburden myself, but then, th
at wasn’t fair, was it? Glancing around at my closest friends in the world, who were excited to start their new lives, how selfish would it be to dump what I’ve done on their laps?
This was my problem.
Not theirs. Not my parents. Not my brothers. But mine.
I just hoped I could keep it together for two more months.
Chapter 2
Lorcan~
Spring break started this weekend, and as far as I was concerned, it couldn’t come fast enough. Mr. Hostettler was coming down hard on me lately-for no reason, might I add-and it was starting to bring out my temper.
One I worked very hard to control.
I was set to go to West Texas A&M and getting expelled for kicking a teacher’s ass was not the best thing for me at this point. Or ever, really. And I had no doubt I could kick Mr. Hostettler’s ass. The guy might only be in his mid-twenties and considered in shape, but I’ve always been a fighter, and I had the temper to go with it. A temper I’ve done my best to overcome throughout my adolescent years.
“Oooheee, two more months, and it’ll be hot college pussy as far as the eye can see,” Thad said, getting immediate agreements from the rest of the table.
It was lunchtime, and our usual group was sitting where we’ve always sat all through high school. It was me, Thad, Blake, and Joshua. While we were a tight group, Josh was who I would consider my best friend. We met in the fifth grade and have been friends ever since. While I didn’t mind popularity, I subscribed to the belief that one true friend was worth a thousand acquaintances.
“You can finally lose your virginity,” Blake joked.
“Your mom didn’t tell you? I lost it to her two years ago,” Thad fired back, not missing a beat.
Our Cracked Pieces (The Pieces Series Book 2) Page 1
