Except, she’d liked it. She’d imagined being kissed over the years, looking at her little silver ball of mistletoe. Nick’s kiss had felt...perfect. Remembering the feeling of his hands moving over her back, the brush of his beard over her face and the softness of his lips gave her a shiver. By itself, it could be a rather sweet memory—a mistletoe kiss at long last. But kisses had a way of getting out of hand—she knew that much.
“It’s okay. I think...we’ve been trying to avoid that,” she admitted.
“You, too?” he asked softly.
“Me, too.” She glanced up at him.
“Listen, I should probably be clear,” he said. “I’m not looking for a relationship, and I don’t know if that seemed like I was trying to start something up... And I know I sound like a jerk. Trust me, I’m hearing it come out of my own mouth.” He pressed his lips together, irritated. “I’m just trying to say that I’m not the kind of guy who fools around. I just... I’ve been thinking about doing that for a few days now.”
“It’s because we got to be friends,” she said.
“That might be it.” He didn’t look convinced, though. “But I haven’t kissed any friends recently, either, so...”
She smiled at his dry wit. “Good to know. I feel special.”
“You should.” He smiled back, and his dark gaze met hers. “But I’ll keep it under control.”
She couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed—even though she wasn’t looking for a man.
“I don’t want a relationship, either,” she said. “My divorce is really fresh, and you’re my sister’s friend, and...”
“You think I’ll kiss and tell?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” she said. “Maybe I just want to have this time be about me alone—building something for my son and me. I’m not looking to complicate it. I want to look back on this and not feel...”
He dropped his gaze. “Right. I get it.”
“I don’t want to feel like I found some man to fix it for me again, okay?” she said, the words coming out in a rush. “I have enough regrets about that in my first marriage.”
He nodded. “So...let’s chalk that one up to mistletoe and let ourselves off the hook.”
“A very handy excuse,” she replied, and a smile toyed at her lips.
Her phone rang, and Jen was glad for the distraction. She looked around for the handset and found it in her purse by the door. She fished it out and picked up the call halfway through the fourth ring. The number was Sam’s. She sighed and instinctively tried to straighten her hair before she picked up.
“Hello?” she said, doing her best to sound normal.
“Hi, Jen. How are you doing?” Sam said.
She shut her eyes, pushing back all those conflicting feelings that seemed to surround her ex these days. “I’m great,” she lied. “Merry Christmas.”
“Yeah, yeah, Merry Christmas to you, too,” Sam said. “That’s actually why I called.”
“Oh?” She let her gaze flicker toward Nick. He was fiddling with the lights again on the tree. “What’s going on?”
“Something’s come up, and I can’t have Drew here for Christmas, after all.”
Jen froze, her mind skipping ahead. He was canceling Christmas with Drew? This was going to crush their son.
“What’s come up?” she asked, turning away from Nick and the Christmas tree, her heart speeding up.
“What...you have other plans?” Sam asked.
“Sam, I’m thrilled to have my son with me for Christmas—that’s not the point. Drew is going to be so upset. What happened?” she pressed.
“Tiffany’s grandmother issued a last-minute invitation for the holidays, and Tiffany thinks it’s really important that she be there. Apparently, her grandmother has some announcement she wants to make about her will.”
“So let Tiffany go,” Jen said flatly. “Why do you need to be there?”
“Moral support,” he replied, his tone cooling. “She and I are in a relationship, Jen. I know that might be hard for you to come to terms with, but this is real.”
Jen clenched her teeth, attempting to get her rising anger under control. “I fully accept the validity of your new relationship with a twenty-two-year-old. I do. I support it and wish you only happiness in your future with her. I hope she’s very, very patient.” She sucked in a steadying breath. “But you’re dumping your son for a girlfriend’s grandmother’s last-minute snap of her fingers.”
“You sound upset,” Sam said archly.
“Never mind.” There was no winning with Sam. He’d only cast her as a petulant child, no matter how close she was to forty—it was his superpower. “How are we going to do this?”
“I’m putting Drew on a bus to Mountain Springs day after tomorrow just before Tiffany and I drive out,” Sam said. “I’m going to make the most of my last couple of days with him.”
“Good. I’m glad you’re doing that,” Jen said.
“He’ll arrive—” there was a pause “—hold on, I’m just checking the email... He’ll arrive at ten in the morning on Thursday. The ride is only a couple of hours.”
“I’ll be there to pick him up,” she replied.
“Thanks, Jen. And I’m sorry if I’m messing up any plans you have...” The warmth in his tone was back.
“Drew trumps any other plans I might have,” Jen said tersely. “He always has and he always will. Can I talk to him?”
“Sure...hold on.”
Jen looked over to find Nick watching her, his expression concerned.
“Drew will be here for Christmas,” she said, by explanation.
“Mom?”
Jen turned away again. “Hi, sweetie. So I hear I get you for Christmas, after all.”
“Yeah... I guess.”
“I’m thrilled, son. It’ll be fun,” Jen said. “I got the tree—it’s massive. You’ll approve. I’m just decorating it now.”
“Okay...”
“Drew, I know you’re disappointed,” Jen said, lowering her voice. “But it’s going to be a wonderful Christmas, I promise. Besides, I’m thrilled I get to have you with me. It was going to be pretty lonely for me.”
“Okay...” Drew sighed. “Dad needs his phone back.”
“Call me later on video and I’ll show you the tree,” she said, trying to sound cheery. “You’re going to love it.”
How many times did she have to reassure him that he’d love this Christmas in order for her to convince herself?
“I’ll call you later,” Drew said. “Bye, Mom.”
He hung up first, and Jen looked over at Nick again. He was watching her with a sympathetic look.
“Your ex has other plans?” he asked.
“His twenty-two-year-old girlfriend felt the need to schmooze with her grandmother before the old lady makes an announcement about her will,” Jen replied, then she sighed. “I sound bitter, don’t I?”
“I don’t even know these people, and I’m disgusted,” he replied. “Drew’s upset?”
“Definitely,” she said with a sigh. “But it’s okay. I get my son for Christmas—I’m not going to complain about that.”
“And there’s the tree,” Nick said with a faint smile.
“It’s a great tree,” she said, and she felt some of the tension slip away. “I’m glad I got the big one now. Drew really is going to love it.”
“When does he arrive?” Nick asked.
“Thursday morning,” she replied. “Sam says he wants to spend some quality time with him before he leaves...for what that’s worth.”
Nick nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“At least I’ll have Drew, right?” she said.
They fell silent, and Jen’s gaze moved toward the box of ornaments, her emotions jostling inside her. A phone call from her ex had a way of changing th
e mood fast. She wanted Drew at home with her, but she also knew how much this would hurt her son.
“Do you want to do this alone, after all?” Nick asked quietly.
Jen looked up, and she met his inquiring gaze, then nodded, feeling tears prick her eyes. “Actually, I do. If you don’t mind. I can take it from here, if I can use the ladder.”
This was her tree—and it was time to own this. She couldn’t lean on Nick for emotional support. Wasn’t that what she’d done with Sam? She’d looked to him to give her a home, to give her a purpose. Not this time.
“No problem,” he replied. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she said. “I’m just trying to figure it all out.”
“I’m in there if you want to talk,” he said, hooking his thumb toward the kitchen.
“Thanks,” she said. He was a sweet guy, but she had to stop this.
Nick closed the distance between them and pressed his lips against her forehead in a brief kiss. She wished it didn’t feel as nice as it did. Then he turned toward the dining room, his boots echoing through the room. A moment later she heard the whir of a sander starting up. Nick was handsome, sweet, and strangely sensitive. He seemed to know she’d want her space. He was just the kind of man who could sweep her right off her feet and turn off her brain. A long time ago, when she was young and dreaming of mistletoe kisses, he was the kind of guy who would have filled her fantasies. But this wasn’t about romance or moving on...this was about standing tall and building her own life for once, apart from a man. This next step post-divorce had to be by herself.
Jen sighed and looked up at the tree. She didn’t have enough decorations to fill it up, but if she spread them out, it might be okay. She reached into the box of ornaments and pulled out Drew’s first Christmas ornament in the shape of a teddy bear.
Jen hung the ornament and reached for another—this one was a felt candy cane that Drew had made in elementary school. Maybe this oversize tree in this oversize house would be just what Drew needed, too, while they all pretended they were doing better than they were.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THAT EVENING THE streets had all been freshly plowed, so Jen’s drive to Mountain Springs Lodge was a peaceful one. Through open curtains, TVs flickered and Christmas trees twinkled. She saw people as they wandered past the windows or sat on couches... These were families doing what families did, and it made her even more lonely for the family she used to have.
Not that she wanted to get back together with Sam. That relationship was over, but Lisa was right about her dive into a marriage in hopes that it would give her something she’d been longing for. She’d wanted a family of her own—a husband, some kids, a pet or two. She’d wanted that secure feeling of being at the center of a loving home that could give her a sense of identity.
Except, Sam and his goals had stayed the center of her identity...and the money she used to buy this place had come from Sam’s pockets. But making it a success—that would be hers alone, and she wouldn’t relinquish that sense of accomplishment to anyone. This restart had to be her own.
But a fresh start didn’t have to be solitary, did it? She might be overly cautious right now...it was possible, at least. Would it be so terrible to see how things went with Nick? He was sweet, handsome, sensitive, and he seemed to be feeling something for her, too. It was something to think about.
When she arrived at Mountain Springs Lodge, Jen found parking near the door. She wore a black pantsuit tonight—it was cold, after all—and a long woolen coat on top. When she got inside, she took off her coat and checked it, then looked around the now-familiar Christmas decorations—the Christmas tree in the fireside room, the wreaths on the wooden walls...
“Jen, you made it!”
She turned to see Belle come into the lodge. Belle took off a faux fur-lined wrap and held it over one arm as she made her way to Jen. She was dressed in a draped, woolen gray dress that looked like it was made for her slim figure. But then, with her model good looks, most dresses were made for her size and build. She gave Jen a quick squeeze.
“You look great,” Jen said.
“So do you,” Belle replied. “I’m glad you could make it.”
They both smiled, then made their way into the dining room where they spotted Angelina and Renata at a window-side table. Soft Christmas music played through the dining room, mingling with the murmur of people visiting while they dined. Jen could feel her nerves relaxing already. Renata was right—with all the pressure of Christmas, it was a good idea to spend an evening with women who understood what she was going through.
When they slid into their seats, everyone said hello and there were a few minutes of idle chitchat while they perused the menu. Jen ordered the red wine beef ragout with a side salad with goat cheese, and her mouth watered at the very thought of the meal to come.
“So what’s new with you all?” Angelina asked as the waiter left the table.
Jen looked over at Renata and shot her a smile. Renata blushed.
“What’s up with Renata?” Belle asked with a laugh. “Come on, girl. This is all I’ve got.”
“Are you seriously telling me that you have no romantic options out here?” Renata asked with a rueful smile. “Look at you, Belle! You don’t have the challenges the rest of us have.”
“I have different ones,” Belle replied. “I want a regular guy, but regular guys take one look at me and...run.”
“I don’t believe that,” Jen interjected.
“They do!” Belle shook her head. “There was this guy I really liked—he’s divorced, lives down the road from me. I can’t get him to talk to me! He seems to think I’m attractive—I can tell by the way he looks at me, but he won’t make a move, no matter how many times I throw myself in his path.”
“Then you make a move,” Angelina said.
Belle shrugged weakly. “Maybe I’m tired of being the one to chase. I just want a nice guy who’s not scared of me. Is that too much to ask?”
It might be, Jen thought, but she didn’t want to say that out loud. There was a certain amount of intimidation that came with a woman who had an advanced degree, too.
“I’ve...um...agreed to a date,” Renata said.
All eyes turned to her, and she looked around uncomfortably.
“With who?” Belle asked, leaning forward. “Is this with that guy whose mother is in your old folks’ home?”
“Seb. Yeah...” Renata’s cheeks pinked. “I saw him again when I got my Christmas tree—in fact, Jen was there.”
“He did seem pretty smitten,” Jen confirmed with a grin. “I saw him give her his number.”
“I guess he didn’t trust I’d call him, so he asked for mine while we were getting the tree tied to the roof of the truck, and he called me later on and suggested we get a coffee,” Renata said.
“This is great!” Angelina said with a grin. “I’m glad you finally agreed. I mean, how many times has he asked you out?”
“I don’t know...” Renata shrugged.
“At least twice after he visited his mother,” Belle said. “And then there was that time that we all agreed he’d asked you out but you thought he was just making conversation about your weekend plans—”
“And what about the time she saw him at the gas station and he bought her a chocolate bar because it was cold out?” Angelina added.
“That wasn’t asking me out!” Renata said with a laugh.
“No, it was just so sweet,” Belle replied with a grin. “He’s a nice guy, Renata! I’m glad you finally said yes.”
Renata winced. “I’m thinking of canceling.”
“No!” Jen hadn’t meant to chime in, but Seb did seem like a nice guy. And more important still, Jen had seen the way Renata had looked at him, too.
“I don’t know...” Renata shrugged faintly. “I’m gun-shy. Things went so, so badly wi
th Ivan.”
They fell silent, then one by one they nodded. Jen could understand Renata’s fear all too well. And having heard about her ex’s horrible treatment of her, who could blame her for being scared? Was a safe, single life such a terrible thing? Except when they were young, how many of them had dreamed of being safe and single? Jen hadn’t. She’d dreamed of love and a family, and the beauty and excitement that only came with a bit of risk.
But there were good guys out there, too, and Jen thought she’d met one of them in Nick.
“I get it, Renata,” Belle said softly. “But how is it fair that Ivan moved on, and you don’t get a chance to have a good guy once in your life?”
“Isn’t that the way it is, though?” Angelina asked. “For the most part, at least. The one who ruins the marriage waltzes off and has no problem starting over. I agree. It’s hardly fair.”
“I see the way Seb looks at me,” Renata said. “And I think...he’s not going to stay like this. Look at me! I’ve had four children. Things sag that never used to. I’ve gray and fine lines forming... I’m not exactly some prize anymore.”
“Oh, shut your mouth!” Belle exclaimed. “You’re gorgeous! You’re curvy. You’re smart, compassionate, funny. You’ve got life experience, Renata. Do you know how many gorgeous, spoiled idiots there are out there? Do you want to face life with some shallow kid who has no idea what it’s all about yet? If Ivan does, let him. He has no depth or character anyway. But you have everything a man could want, and everything that could keep him enthralled with you forever. Don’t question your worth because one moron thought he was worthy of a mistress on the side. He’s the one with the problem, not you.”
“But Seb’s a man,” Renata countered. “Ultimately, they all want women like you, Belle.”
“Seb seems to have eyes only for you,” Belle said. “If your gut tells you not to date him, then don’t. I think we’d all agree with that. Seb isn’t going to complete you, and you don’t need a man to be happy. Right? But if this is just you feeling like you aren’t enough to keep a man’s attention...”
Mountain Mistletoe Christmas Page 15
