“I never asked for this,” he said.
“Okay, but here’s the thing. Sometimes in life we get blindsided by bad stuff—like your parents getting a divorce—and we’re furious about it. There will always be something you didn’t choose. But then there are times in life when we trip over amazing things that we never expected, either. And we have to be able to enjoy that when it comes.”
Drew was silent.
“I love you, son,” she said, and her voice shook. “To the moon and back.”
“I love you, too, Mom,” he said.
Jen sucked in a breath. “Will you stay with me here in Mountain Springs for the rest of the school year?”
Drew’s lips wobbled. “I guess I have to.”
“You don’t have to,” she said, the words catching in her throat.
Jen wrapped her arms around her son and gave him a hug and a kiss on his forehead. He was almost as tall as she was now, and before she knew it, she’d be making him bend down if she wanted to kiss him on his forehead.
“I’ll stay,” he whispered.
“We’ll be okay. I promise,” she said.
Drew blinked back tears and looked around the room again. He wasn’t seeing what Jen saw in this old house. He was seeing loneliness, a sort of prison that kept him from the life he’d known in Denver.
What would she do if her son changed his mind and asked to live with his dad? Would she stay in Mountain Springs? Her heart sped up at the very thought—not a chance! She’d sell this place to Angelina and head back to Denver. She’d build a life that let her be close to her son. Her ambitions were nothing without Drew in them with her. She was a mom first.
Had she made a mistake chasing after her own belated dreams all the way in Mountain Springs? The marriage might not have lasted, but having a child together changed everything. They had an obligation to their son, even if Sam wasn’t manning up quite yet.
“We’ll talk about it more,” Jen said. “You know I’m always here to talk, right?”
“Yeah...” Drew swallowed. “But if I really hate it, can we move back?”
There was something in her son’s voice, a level of pleading she’d never heard from him before. Plus, he was asking her to move back with him. He didn’t want to leave her behind. This wasn’t a complaint; it was a desperate hope. He was asking if his happiness mattered, if it factored into her plans. Because his Christmas hadn’t mattered when Sam’s plans changed...
Sam might not be the father he should be right now, but he was Drew’s dad, and Drew needed him. Desperately. He needed both of them. Jen could blame Sam for not doing well enough in his role, or she could step up and do what her son needed and give him two parents in the same city.
“If you’re miserable, I won’t be happy, either,” Jen said. “You can count on that, son.”
But oh, how she hoped he could be happy.
“Okay.” Drew nodded.
Jen sighed. “Look, you were really rude before. Nick is a nice man who made sure that you had a hot, functioning shower up here and redid the kitchen so we’d be comfortable while we started fixing this place up. He’s been working really hard, and he didn’t deserve that attitude.”
“Sorry,” Drew muttered. “I didn’t mean to.”
“You owe him an apology,” she said. “I raised you better than that.”
“Okay. I’ll apologize,” Drew said.
He was a good kid, and she couldn’t blame him for not knowing how to navigate all of this, or for feeling out of control. But she also had a life to put together for the two of them. Would it be here in Mountain Springs, or would it be in Denver? She’d been so certain that this was the second chance she wanted, but if it came at the expense of Drew’s emotional needs, it wouldn’t be worth it.
But she’d been softening to the idea of getting to know know Nick on a more romantic level. He was a nice guy, and genuinely nice guys didn’t come around that often.
Still, her son had to come first.
When they got back downstairs, Jen nudged her son in the direction of the kitchen toward the sound of that electric sander. Drew headed into the room and when Nick looked up and turned off the sander, Drew glanced back at her.
“Drew wanted to say something,” Jen prompted him.
“I’m sorry I was rude before,” Drew said.
“That’s okay,” Nick said. “You’ve got a lot going on, huh?”
“I guess so,” Drew agreed.
“I get it,” Nick said, and he gave him a sympathetic smile. “Hang in there.”
“You can go explore a bit if you want, Drew,” Jen said. “There’s a lot of rooms, and some old stuff was left behind.”
“Okay...” Drew sighed. “I’ll go look around. Can I set up my Xbox?”
“Sure,” she said. “If you can figure it out.”
“I know how to do it,” Drew replied.
Drew disappeared out of the kitchen again, and Jen met Nick’s questioning gaze.
“You okay?” Nick asked softly.
“Not really,” she admitted. “But a mom can’t show weakness.”
Except with an Xbox, maybe. What was she supposed to do, take away every last thing her son loved?
Nick pulled off his gloves and dropped them onto the counter, then came over to where she stood.
“Come here,” he murmured, and he caught her hand, tugging her toward him. She hesitated for a second, and then allowed herself to be pulled into his strong arms. He felt so solid and strong, and she leaned her cheek against his shoulder. He smelled good—like wood dust and something slightly musky—and she let out a long breath as his arms tightened around her. What was it about this man’s arms that managed to drain all her inhibitions away? It wasn’t just attraction, because this was something different—just the comfort of feeling him against her, his heartbeat thudding reassuringly against her chest—that made tears prickle in her eyes.
“Drew’s so upset...” Jen whispered.
“Yeah, I know.” His voice was a soft growl next to her ear. “But he seems like a good kid.”
“I know. But am I doing it right? Or am I making this harder on him?”
“You bought him a mansion. My heart bleeds,” he said, humor tingeing his voice.
Nick had a way of making all of this sound so reasonable, and she missed having someone who could do this for her—help her worries settle and put stuff back into perspective. Jen wrapped her arms around Nick’s waist, and she felt his hand smooth over her hair, then his cheek rest on top of her head.
“Why do I feel like I’m messing up, then?” she asked quietly.
“I don’t think you’re messing up anything,” he said. “For what it’s worth.”
She appreciated that, but he hadn’t heard the misery in Drew’s voice earlier. Nick didn’t know that it was within her power to fix this for her son...if that was what Drew really needed. She could move back to Denver, even though it would be a personal disappointment. The thing that was holding her here was her own desire to make good in the town where she’d grown up poor. And her hopes to connect with her sister again... Was this what was best for Drew?
Nick pulled back just a little and touched her chin with his finger, bringing her lips up to his. His kiss was soft and tender, and she let her eyes flutter shut, enjoying his touch. Then she straightened and took a step back, and he let his hand slide down her arm until he caught her fingers. His warm, rough grip felt so comforting, and she didn’t want to let go.
“How far past professional have we gone?” Jen asked with a rueful smile.
“Miles,” he replied, and his eyes twinkled. “Sorry.”
“I like it this way,” she said. “I think we might be complicating things, though.”
“There’s nothing complicated,” he said. “I work on your kitchen and we...”
&nbs
p; “Share a few kisses?” she asked.
“Maybe,” he replied. “And we talk. We open up. We...get to know each other better.”
“You could make a nuclear bomb sound reasonable,” she said.
A grin spread over his face. “This isn’t a nuclear bomb. It’s just two people who are feeling something.”
“What are you feeling?” she whispered.
She met his gaze, but then she heard Drew’s footsteps on the stairs, and she tugged her hand free. He quickly released her and when she looked back at him, he was watching her with a tender look in his dark eyes. What was he feeling? And did she really want it confirmed?
“Mom?” Drew’s voice met her before he came around the corner. “Can you help with the Xbox?”
She glanced back at Nick, and he’d picked up his sander again. His gaze lingered on her for a moment, and then he turned the power tool on. He was right. They’d sailed right past professional, and they were miles past neighborly. But whatever it was that was stewing between them couldn’t keep going like this. It was moving quickly, and she had a feeling this could careen right out of control without much more encouragement.
Jen was too impetuous in romance—a mistake she couldn’t be repeating now that she had a son to protect. Besides, she might not be staying in Mountain Springs, after all... It wasn’t only her heart on the line anymore.
“Come on,” Jen said. “Show me the instructions. It should be like your old one, right?”
And she followed her son out of the kitchen and toward the stairs. Her ideas about what might be best for Drew had started to change...
* * *
NICK SHOULDN’T HAVE kissed her again. He knew that! But there had been something about having her there in his arms—so warm and soft, and she’d felt almost defeated in the way she’d leaned against him.
He’d never been a woman’s comfort in parenting—not like this. Shari had always been so certain she knew what was right for their daughter. She’d never come to him for comfort when it came to Amelia, and she’d certainly not been there for him. So to have Jen in his arms, her whole body pulsing with the beat of her heart, it had felt good in a way he’d not anticipated.
And yet, he knew what he was dealing with here...and he knew how this ended. He wanted to be Jen’s answer, but he wouldn’t be, any more than he’d been Shari’s. What he had to offer—strong arms and broad shoulders—were great in painful times, but they weren’t enough for the long-term. Not for a woman like Jen.
By the time he got home again that night, he was in a bad mood. Jen had been busy with Drew and she’d avoided him that day. He was frustrated with himself for not being strong enough to hold himself back. Jen was the one in an emotionally vulnerable situation, and she probably thought he’d taken advantage of that by now. He could see how it looked.
“What’s with you?” Amelia asked when he came inside.
He bent down and gave Goldie a pet, then looked up to find his daughter eyeing him over the top of her phone.
“Nothing,” he said. “Although, I was hoping to have a talk with you.”
“So I’m the reason you’ve got a face like a fist right now?” she said.
“What? No.” He sighed, trying to let his frustration go. “I’m ticked off about something else. But I do need to talk to you.”
“I’m heading out for dinner,” she replied. “Terrance is picking me up in a few minutes.”
So she’d head out again, and he’d lose track of what he wanted to say to her, and by the time she returned, the moment would be past. She was playing his game now—he’d always turned to work when he and Shari fought. No, they needed to talk now.
“This won’t take that long,” Nick said. “Have a seat.”
Amelia sighed and headed for the couch. He peeled off his coat and hung it up before he followed her over. He sank into the seat kitty-corner to her.
“You don’t respect me,” he said.
“Dad, I’m an adult,” she replied. “I’m not a little girl anymore. So our relationship isn’t going to be the same. You can’t use me for free labor, or give me a life lesson about hard work. Those days are past.”
“Yeah, I know,” he said. “And I’m sorry about that. I’m a bit out of practice here, but this is about something deeper. You’ve never really respected me. I was cut from a different cloth than you and your mother, so to speak, and I feel like when your mother started losing respect for me, so did you.”
Amelia shook her head. “We’re all good at different things—”
“Don’t give me that, because I’ve been dealing with this for a decade, Amelia,” he said. “But that’s not your fault. It’s mine. I should have fought harder. I thought that being reasonable was better for you—for us. I don’t think that was right. You got this idea that your father was some simple guy and your mother was the brilliant one. And because it didn’t work between your mother and me on a romantic level anymore, I think you started to see me the way she did.”
“Dad...”
“Amelia, would you just have an honest conversation with me for once?” he demanded.
“I don’t think you want honesty,” she shot back. “You won’t like it.”
“I’m damn sure I won’t, but it’s better than this overly polite banter of ours that I’ve been putting up with.”
“Overly polite?” Amelia retorted. “Dad, at least we’re talking! Where have you been the last ten years? You’ve had your own life! While I grew up, started dating, got my license, started looking at colleges, where were you?”
Nick hadn’t been a part of her college search. Amelia’s grades had been high enough that she had her choice of schools, but Nick couldn’t pay for her Ivy League education, and he wasn’t about to trail behind them as Chris was the man of the situation. But that wasn’t her fault, either.
“You feel abandoned,” he said.
“I don’t just feel abandoned—I was abandoned!” she snapped. “You didn’t just divorce Mom, you divorced both of us!”
“I did no such thing!” he retorted. “Any time I came to visit you in the city, you had very little interest in a dinner with your dad, because you had a stepdad who could buy more for you. And when I tried to talk to you on the phone, you had friends you’d rather chat with. When you came to see me for a couple of weeks in the summer, you moped around the entire time and said how much you hated being out here. Now, you were a kid—and you were going through a lot. But I didn’t cut you off, Amelia. You cut me off!”
“I had no choice in your divorce!” she shot back. “And Mom moved me to Denver. Chris was there. What was I supposed to do? Yeah, he bought me stuff you couldn’t. But he also taught me how to drive, and he was the one who picked me up from a party that got out of hand. And then, when my ex dumped me and wouldn’t let me get my bookbag from his place, it was Chris who drove over and intimidated him into giving it back.”
Chris had been there for her, and Nick didn’t want to remove his daughter’s supporters from her life. That would be incredibly selfish of him. He was glad that Chris loved Amelia like his own daughter, but it didn’t change the fact that he was her father. And he’d never stopped trying.
“He was a dad to you,” Nick said, swallowing. “And I’m glad. I wanted you to have a good relationship with your stepfather. I just didn’t want to be swept to the side. The one thing I’ve noticed this visit—you’re an awful lot like me, too.”
“You think?” Amelia smiled faintly.
“Oh, definitely. You’ve got my stubborn streak,” he said.
Amelia was silent for a moment.
“It wasn’t easy for me, either,” Amelia said quietly. “Mom had a new husband, and she was caught up in him. They were all in love and planning trips and smiling at me a little too brightly.”
“You could have spent more time with me,” he said.<
br />
“During the school year?” She shook her head. “I wasn’t the only one with a stepdad, and at least mine had the money to try and buy my affection.”
“Did it work?” he asked quietly.
“It didn’t hurt.” She smiled faintly. “Chris was there for me, Dad, but he was still my stepfather. And Mom had to really put in effort to make him happy. She lost weight and started worrying about makeup more, and stuff.”
“I thought they were happy,” he said.
“They are. But it’s different,” Amelia replied. “I know I pushed you away a lot, and Mom didn’t make it easy on you, but there were times when I daydreamed about you just showing up and taking me away from there.”
“Really?” He felt his throat tighten with emotion.
“Of course, there are court-dictated rules to these things. You couldn’t do that. I guess I just missed you.” Amelia’s phone pinged twice and she looked down at it for a moment. “That’s Ben.”
“I missed you, too, Amelia,” Nick said. He missed her still. Then he added, “Go on and call him. I know you’ve got plans to make. I’m glad we got to talk.”
Time was whipping by, years evaporating, and before he knew it, he’d have a married daughter with kids of her own. Before he knew it, he’d have grown old.
“Hey, Dad?” Amelia said, standing up.
“Yeah?”
“I love you, too.” Tears misted her eyes, then she turned toward the front door and put her phone to her ear. Apparently, she’d talk on the phone while waiting for her friend. He watched her pull on her coat and step into her boots, and for the life of him, it was like watching her at ten, just a girl with honey-blond hair and a fierce heart.
The door clicked shut behind her and he smoothed his hand over his beard. He’d messed this up a very long time ago, and he wasn’t sure he’d ever get it right again. But he’d keep trying—if nothing else, even as a grown woman with a life of her own, she’d never be able to say that her father gave up on her.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
THE NEXT EVENING Lisa offered to take Drew out for some KFC, and then back to her place to watch a movie on Netflix. Lisa was looking forward to some time with her nephew, and Jen was grateful her sister wanted to make the effort.
Mountain Mistletoe Christmas Page 18
