by Robert York
He laughed again. No humor contained in the act, only contempt.
“If I were you I’d get as far away from these two as I could. They’ll only hold you back, then when you least expect it… They’ll betray you.”
Rahm looked at each of us in turn. A smile reserved only for a condemned man heading to the electric chair plastered on his face.
“I’m enjoying the looks of surprise on your moronic faces… They remind me so much of the look Bialek gave me right before I killed him... I’d imagine that there’s a dull witted look still etched on his dead face.” Rahm said thoughtfully.
Barnabas shook his head regretfully.
“I should’ve turned you over to the Black Guard when I discovered what you were up too,”
Rahm chuckled again.
“You’d never have done that Barnabas… We both know you’re far too sentimental to turn me over to the council’s war dogs. You were more worried about what other Wizards would say if they found out that one of Barnabas Blackmane’s apprentices went bad... The scandal and all that whispering behind your back would’ve been too much for you to handle,” Rahm said mockingly.
Barnabas’s expression hardened though one could see pain in his eyes.
“I won’t be making the same mistake twice Rahm,”
Rahm laughed derisively.
“That won’t happen today old fool...”
Black flames rose up from the floor engulfing the albino. Deep hues of bright yellows and oranges lapped chaotically at the air from the outermost edges of the flames. There was no light to speak of, however the heat was so intense that it scorched the hardwood floor underneath where the albino was immobilized. The flames undulated roiling inward. A loud cackling laugh strong and harsh could be heard coming from within the flames.
Then... Poof.
The flames along with the albino were gone. Leaving scorch marks on the floor along with an intense smell of sulfur. I looked about the shop spying my twin attackers right where I’d seen them before. Immobilized by Barnabas and Oswald. Rahm escaped leaving his Vampire backup. Why would he do that? Were they an expendable part of his plan? I didn’t have the answers to those questions, but perhaps the twins did. The Cob Elf was still here as well. What in Gods name was going on?
All I knew for certain was that the albino wanted something from the Elf and was willing to kill him or whoever stood in his way to get it. The albino, according to Barnabas and Oswald should’ve died a long time ago by his own blind thirst for power. Then he shows up here startling the hell out of Barnabas and Oswald. The bigger mystery for me was Rahm was once Barnabas’s apprentice. Barnabas has never said anything about having an apprentice before me. I knew Barnabas was old, so it was conceivable that he had another pupil during his lifetime only this one wanted revenge.
I sighed.
This was way too much for me to be thinking about on only a few hours sleep and an empty stomach. I hadn’t noticed while I was musing about the happenings of a few moments ago that Glum had disarmed the twins, binding them securely using steel shackles made by the Dwarf Lords. I watched numbly as he hung them side-by-side on hooks behind the counter. They protested in language that would’ve made a retired truck driving sailor blush. Glum being the polite troll that he is and being a fan of silence produced a table size cloth handkerchief from his back pocket. Which he preceded to tear into mouth sized pieces stuffing them in the twin’s mouths, all the while being mindful of their sharp Vampire teeth. I hoped the handkerchief he was using was a clean one, but then again... I really didn’t care.
Sister Marianna… I mean Mari, took the bags of food and soft drinks placing them down on the counter. She proceeded to open the grease stained bags removing neatly wrapped hot dogs. My mouth watered. I lurched mindlessly forward like a Zombie craving brains, however a noise to my left caught my attention.
I turned to see Barnabas and Oswald helping the Elf to the floor. They laid him down gently on his back. Oswald removed his black velvet coat, folding it and placing it under the Elf’s head. Barnabas spoke in hushed tones. I moved closer to hear better.
“Where’s your Master Tilly? Where’s Hans?”
“Dead…” Tilly said with difficulty. “That white man killed him. He somehow got through the Master’s defensive spells undetected. He fought bravely, then one of those Vampires distracted my Master and the white man stabbed him through the heart.”
“Do you know how they got into the fortress Tilly?” Oswald asked urgently.
“No sir, one moment I was serving the Master his tea and the next moment the white man and the Vampires were rushing through the doorway of the Master’s study...” He trailed off, emotion choking off his words.
“Tilly, Did Bialek give you something? Something you were supposed to give to me?”
“Yes.” Tilly groaned touching his head. “A crystal, during the fighting my Master opened a portal and pushed me through... I watched them kill him as the portal closed.”
He patted searchingly over his coat pockets, tears in his eyes. He produced the crystal I’d originally seen when Tilly was laid out in the back of the store. Barnabas took the crystal from the Elf holding it in his right hand. It appeared as though he was waiting for something to happen. But it didn’t. He opened his hand looking curiously at the crystal.
“Tilly.” Barnabas began. “Did anyone else besides you handle this crystal? I know the albino wouldn’t have waited around had he gotten it,”
Tilly thought for a moment his brows knitting together.
“No sir, I’m positive. I came through the portal my Master created… When I arrived here, I found myself in one of the isles looking at him napping with his head down.”
Tilly pointed a shaky finger in my direction.
“When the portal closed. I bumped into a shelf knocking a jar down on top of my head. That was the last thing I remembered before I heard the white man threatening your apprentice.”
Barnabas and Oswald turned their questioning glances in my direction. Barnabas stood moving over to me holding the crystal in plain sight. I started to say something, but Barnabas raised a silencing finger. He lifted his free hand, palm out and open, slowly moving it over my head and chest. The corners of his mouth quirked up into a relieved grin, he exhaled closing his eyes.
“It’s OK, It’s safe for now.”
Barnabas turned away moving back over to Oswald and Tilly. Oswald moved in close to Barnabas speaking in a hushed whisper.
“Who do you think is behind this Barney?” Oswald asked concern in his voice.
“I haven’t a clue...” He broke off pausing in thought. “But we need to move quickly.”
“Excuse me?” I said interrupting. “What are you talking about? What is “it” and who is this little guy?” I pointed to Tilly. “Don’t hold back on me Barnabas. Tell me what’s going on?”
“In due time. There are things that must be done quickly as well as questions that must be answered for us to understand what is happening. You must trust me Solomon and do as I ask.”
“Yes there are things that must be done. But first you are going to eat before all this food gets cold.”
I turned to see Mari standing at the front counter smiling her reproving nun smile with two wrapped hot dogs held out for each of us. I noticed the grease from the fries blotting through the paper wrapping, a sign of a good hot dog. My mouth watered at the sight. If you’ve never had a hot dog from Deli Dogs, I definitely recommend that you do if you have the chance the next time you find yourself in the Motor City. Our question and answer session could wait until we all had something in our stomachs. Barnabas smiled a smile of surrender. Mari had a way with him. She could get Barnabas to stop and listen to reason like no other person could.
Chapter 5
We finished our lunch in silence, which was never the norm. There was always something to discuss or mindless banter to be heard over any meal, however this particular one was decidedly different. I felt better neverth
eless even though I was still exhausted. The grumbling in my gut retreated for the moment but would be back. Wizards in general eat a lot. We have the forces of the universe at our command that takes quite a bit of exertion both mentally and physically. Which is why I think you rarely see an overweight Wizard, we just burn through calories too quickly. Glum sat on the floor leaning up against the front door finishing off the last of eight hot dogs he was given to eat. He even unwrapped them first, a surprise even to me. Mari sat next to him talking all the while affectionately patting his large baldhead. I think Mari genuinely liked Glum. Trolls aren’t known for being cuddly or for having a soft side. They’re not unlike bulldozers that can think. It takes a special kind of person to look past their nature to see what lies beneath. Mari is just that sort of person. She’d often bake huge chocolate chip cookies to give to Glum as treats. Seriously, these cookies were enormous. They were the size of old twelve inch LP music records, It was a good thing her oven was on the small side or she’d probably try baking manhole cover sized cookies. Oswald however strongly disapproved of Mari and her treats. His main reason always being that he didn’t want Glum to get fat. Funny thing is I’ve yet to see an overweight Troll and I’ve dealt with a few off and on over the years. They’re like garbage disposals and can eat their weight in food each day. Truth be told I think the real reason Oswald frowned upon Mari’s cookies was that Glum would never share them with him.
The two Vampire twins hung on the wall where Glum placed them for safekeeping. They glared down at us, eyes unblinking while we ate. If looks could kill, I do believe we’d have all been burned to ash right where we sat. It’s entirely possible they were in need of an intensive round of anger management therapy. But who am I to judge, I have anger issues of my own dealing with all the stupid people in this city. Tilly sat leaning against the counter next to my legs, finishing the rest of his meal. He wasn’t eating much, which was understandable after what he’d been through. The curious thing though was that he’d become rather attached to me over the last half hour, never leaving my side. He’d jump to his feet every time I moved, almost as though he were waiting for me to give him an order or something.
Weird.
Barnabas and Oswald sat as far away from me as possible. Sort of made me wonder what the hell was going on and why they were giving me the silent treatment. They’d never kept me in the dark like this before. I took note however that they found Tilly’s newfound attachment to me amusing. Mari got off her stool next to Glum and began clearing the front counter of the remains of our fast food repast. I finished the last of my soda as I looked on. It was then that something caught my eye. I turned back to Glum; my eyes were drawn to the top of the door. I watched curiously as the transom above the door opened completely on its own. Three larger than average crows flew into the store through the open transom landing on the counter a foot or so away from Barnabas and Oswald. On the backs of the crows rode three tiny human like figures.
The first little person was about six inches in height and male. Blessed with a strong stocky frame he exuded leadership. He was dressed in a full-length chain mail shirt, worn under a black front and back metal chest plate. Thick leather gauntlets and boots made of the same sturdy material adorned his hands and feet. A wide black leather belt studded with tarnished metal studs encircled his middle. Tucked into that belt was his long graying brown beard. On his left, hanging from the belt was a well-used scabbard that contained a crusader style sword. On his head rode a metal Viking style bowl helmet minus the horns.
The second person was a woman. She possessed a warrior’s build, however it was softened by well-defined feminine curves. She may have been a half-inch shorter than her counterpart, but she was in every way his equal. Her long brown hair braided into a tail fell to the middle of her back. Her features were very lovely and striking. She could both captivate and decapitate and neither would seem out of place. She was similarly armored as the first person I described except in lieu of a helmet adorning her head she instead wore a thick band of silver about her forehead. She also opted for a pair of metal shoulder pads, which matched her breastplate in style and color.
The third person towered over the other two by a full two inches. His frame was ample to the point of being fat, though I suspected a strong, formidable warrior lurked beneath that double chin and gelatinous belly. The crow, which he rode upon, looked a bit shaky and winded, I’m guessing from the weight of its passenger. This person was dressed similarly as the other two though his weapons of choice were markedly different. He carried a heavy looking spiked mace strapped to his back along with two tiny daggers shoved into his belt with nothing adorning his head. He lacked the long beard as the first person I described, but his thick walrus mustache and matching eyebrows complimented his chubby cheeks. Held in his hands like an ear of corn was what looked like a hot wing, which he savored with every mouthful as if it were ambrosia prepared by the Gods.
It was Bobum, Tish and Earl our Guarding Gnomes. Yes, that’s right. I said Guarding Gnomes, not Garden Gnomes. Gnomes contrary to popular belief are fierce warriors that up until recently lived mainly in forests. However today - due to deforestation and urban crawl - they can be more commonly found in neighborhood flowerbeds or gardens, if you know where to look. When a group of Gnomes takes up residence in someone’s garden it is in their nature to protect not only the garden, but the home as well. Over the years mainly through miscommunication, cartoonish lawn statues and badly written folk tales has the true name for Gnomes - “Guarding Gnomes” - been lost.
A few years ago Bobum and his people were displaced from their home here in Detroit. The reason was due to the financial pressures placed upon the city through bad fiscal policies as well as residents leaving in droves for better places to live. The yard in which they made their home was eventually bulldozed over as part of a plan to make the actual footprint of the outlying city much smaller. So Barnabas invited the Gnomes to come live in his garden that he built on the roof of the thirty five hundred square foot garage, which is literally right next to the magic shop. It’s actually a very good arrangement. The Gnomes tend to the garden and keep out any unwanted creatures like brood worms or Fairies. Did I mention that Gnomes hate Fairies?
They’re mortal enemies.
I found that out purely by accident one night while watching a movie with them. Never, ever watch Peter Pan with a room full of armed Gnomes. They nearly destroyed my television that night.
Bobum dismounted his crow with the expert skill of a man being as comfortable in the saddle as he was with breathing. He removed his helmet as he approached Barnabas bowing respectfully. Then he spoke.
“My Lord,” he said in a tiny gruff voice, sounding an awful lot like the Mayor of Munchkin Land from the movie The Wizard of Oz. “We have scoured the area as you ordered us to do and have chased away three Vampire retainers observing your store.”
Retainers.
He was talking about Familiars. Familiars are essentially walking blood banks for Vampires. Many Vampires - especially the older ones - don’t want to drink cold-bagged blood supplied by the huge network of blood farms run by the various Vampire houses. They would instead seek out humans willing to enter into a servile relationship with the hopes of one day becoming Vampires themselves. Familiars in many ways are sort of like walking wine cellars. All Familiars have marks - usually in the form of a tattoo - indicating which individual Vampire or Vampire family they belonged to.
“How do you know they were Vampire retainers, Master Bobum?” Barnabas asked.
Bobum walked over to a discarded hot dog wrapper lying close to him. The wrapper still had a few fries left on it along with a smear of ketchup.
“One of them had this mark on the back of their neck behind the right ear my Lord,” Bobum said picking up a French fry.
He drew a symbol in the ketchup, at my vantage point I couldn’t make it out. He then picked up the wrapper showing it to Barnabas and the rest of us. The symbol that Bobu
m had drawn I wasn’t familiar with. Over the years Barnabas has taken the time to instruct me about the Vampire houses, their leadership and of course their family marks. This one didn’t resemble anything I’d seen before. The mark consisted of three capital “X’s” in a line, the middle “X” being slightly larger than the two on either side. Barnabas glanced over to the Vampire twins hanging on the wall. His look was unreadable, however I knew his mental gears were working. After a moment’s consideration he turned his attention back to Bobum.
“How were you able to see this on one of their necks if they were running away?” Oswald asked.
Bobum dropped the fry and the wrapper turning to address Oswald.
“It was Earl who found the mark,” Bobum hooked a thumb at his companion.
“He leapt from his mount giving our quarry a massive blow to the head, knocking him to the ground. Tish and I flew in to assist. Unfortunately our quarry escaped, but not before we gained the information.”
“You tackled him Earl?” I asked impressed.
The size ratio between him and the Familiar was astounding. Talk about David and Goliath.
“Way to go buddy!”
Earl paused in mid nibble turning his head toward me. He inclined it regally, acknowledging my compliment then returned to eating the chicken wing.
“Yes we would have returned sooner had Earl not decided to enter a fast food establishment and abscond with some of their fare,” Tish said disapprovingly.
“Honestly Earl can you not think of anything else but filling your belly?”
In reply Earl let out a loud throaty belch.
“Swine,” Tish muttered under her breath.
Bobum turned to the Vampire twins hanging on the wall. He placed the helmet back on his head, contempt in his manner and expression.
“I see you have captured two of the Vampire fiends my Lord, shall I send them to the dark abyss that awaits them and all their kind?” Bobum said truculently, placing his hand on the hilt of his sword.
