by Jenny Hale
Nana’s dusting rag came to a stop and she turned around, facing Holly.
“What is it?” Nana asked. “Does it have anything to do with your new determination to stay outside in that barn?”
She nodded. “I feel a…” She looked over at the door to make sure it was secure and then, in a whisper, finished. “… connection with Joe. I really like him,” she finally admitted. Just saying it out loud made her heart ache, and guilt washed over her.
She expected a frown, a stomp across the room, but instead, Nana had sympathy in her eyes. Papa was right; Nana was listening.
“He hasn’t done anything, Nana. It’s just how I feel.” She swallowed, shame filling her with every word. “I’m worried that he’s going to break my heart. In fact, I know he is.” Her chest felt like it could explode from the stress of her predicament. “It’s early enough that I can take a step away, but I’m falling fast for him.” She closed her eyes and sent up a silent prayer that Nana would be okay before she finished. Then, with a deep breath, she said, “I’m going to do the right thing. I’ll plan this wedding and then I need to leave for a little while so I can clear my head.”
She heard Papa’s voice in the words of that letter: Get out there and live!
She’d already thought through a few options about getting different people to check in on Nana if she refused to go with Holly and, hopefully, stayed on at the cabin—especially as at the moment they had no rentals for the foreseeable future. Otis certainly would, and Buddy. Holly could ask Tammy to bring by some meals. Kay would unquestionably drive Nana anywhere she needed to go. They’d made plenty of money on the rentals and could easily afford to have Nana stay at the cabin indefinitely.
But Holly knew she didn’t need to explain any further. With Rhett back in town and now her feelings for Joe, it was clear that Nana understood that leaving would be the best thing to do, and Holly had thought it through. This was the best thing for everyone.
“I called work. I told them I’m quitting.”
Nana was clearly waiting to show any emotion until she’d heard the rest of what Holly had to say.
“I’m planning a pretty big trip…”
Holly had enough inheritance to handle a sizeable excursion, and she’d make sure Nana would be taken care of.
Nana nodded. “I already knew how you felt about Joe, but I didn’t want to put any thoughts in your head.” It seemed as if she had more to say, but instead, she asked, “How long will you be gone?”
“I don’t know. Maybe a year? No idea. I need to be somewhere else, change my perspective. Take my mind off everything. Then, when I have a clear head, I’ll come back home.” A long vacation like this was a lot to put on Nana without any warning, but it was the best way Holly knew to handle it. “You could come with me,” she offered, knowing how Nana felt about traveling.
To Holly’s complete surprise, Nana smiled. “I think this is something you need to do, not me. I’m so glad you figured it out without me having to shout at you,” she teased. “That’s what I’ve wanted for you for ages. There’s so much out there, and I fear you’re missing it on my account.” She took Holly’s hand. “I think you’re doing the right thing,” she said. “You deserve someone who will sweep you off your feet. And you won’t feel confident about anyone else until you find yourself. So go.”
“Thank you, Nana.” Her emotion on the surface, Holly wrapped her arms around Nana and held her tightly. “The minute you need me back home, I’m coming. Just say the word.”
“I’ll be fine. But promise me you’ll come home for the holidays.”
“I promise,” she said, the thrill of doing something new rising up inside her.
* * *
“Holly,” that soft voice meandered over her shoulder.
Joe’s door was shut the whole morning. Holly had felt the urge to knock on it to let him know he could sit in the living room with her, but she figured he might be working. Since Nana was taking a nap, Holly was reading on the sofa, unbothered. Now that she’d decided to leave, Holly felt a new sense of restraint around Joe, and she’d convinced herself that she could easily make it through the holiday.
Joe sat down beside her, his face concerned. “I’ve been thinking a lot since we… got the wood out of the shed.”
She’d made a mistake crying in the barn and allowing him to comfort her, and she wouldn’t do it again. Holly squared her shoulders and braced herself for what he was about to say.
“Seeing your connection with your papa made me want to find my dad more than ever. I think the what-ifs are getting to me.”
Holly let out an exhale in relief.
“Did anyone respond to your messages?” he asked.
“No, I’m sorry.”
He nodded and then extended his hand, offering her an aged photo of a young boy, his hair combed to the side, a few runaway strands poking out at the back. He had a narrow jaw and happy eyes.
Holly took the photo and peered down at it more closely, attempting to wipe a small water spot from the surface that had put a speck on the child’s face.
“Maybe we could use this.”
“What is this?” she asked.
“When she told him she was pregnant, my mother asked my father for pictures of him as a child. She’d wanted to see if I looked like him as I grew up. He left without a trace, but one day, she came home to find this photo wedged into the doorframe of our house. She knew it was him immediately. I wasn’t told any of this until she was sick with cancer. That was when she shared the photo with me.”
“Did the investigators have this?”
He shook his head. “She gave it to me a few years after I’d hired them and their search hadn’t yielded anything. But, to be honest, it wouldn’t come down to some old grade-school photo, would it?”
“I don’t know,” she said honestly. “They didn’t find anything?” She looked back down at the boy in the picture.
“His parents are both deceased. He has no family that we know of. My mother said he’s an only child like me.”
“So he has no one.”
“If he’s still alive himself.”
“And you have no one.”
“Yes.”
She looked up at Joe. “Wouldn’t it be great to find him?”
He shrugged. “I’m not sure. But I’d like to try.”
“You should probably start by telling Katharine you may have a father.”
Joe took in a chest full of air. “Yes, you’re right. I’ll tell her soon.” He placed the photo on the side table next to Holly.
“In the meantime,” she said. “We could post the photo on Facebook and see if anyone recognizes it.”
“Okay.”
Holly snapped a picture with her phone and handed the photo back to Joe.
“Maybe, by some miracle, we’ll have a mutual friend,” he said.
“You’re talking miracles. Does this mean you do believe in Christmas magic?”
He grinned, shaking his head. “I’ll only believe in Christmas magic if you actually manage to locate him.”
“Hey,” she said as he turned to go back to his room. There was no need for him to spend the whole day in that tiny space. “When Nana wakes up, I’d like to put on Bing Crosby and cook a big supper. You’re welcome to join us. And it would be nice to have a few extra hands in the kitchen.”
“I’d be happy to,” he said, and it was as if he understood their unspoken arrangement to keep it friendly, nothing too personal.
Perhaps that had been what he was trying to do when he’d cooked Nana breakfast. Could he sense the need to step back from her as well? If so, he’d faltered in the barn. But now Holly had made the decision not to get close to him again and she’d be strong enough for the both of them.
He walked back over to her. “While your grandmother is sleeping, would you like to go through the box?” he asked quietly. “It might be a good time to wrap the gifts.”
“Yes,” she said. “Let me grab the gi
ft-wrapping supplies.”
She grabbed the roll of wrapping paper, a pair of scissors, and the tape from the hall closet where she’d stored them when they’d arrived and then went to Joe’s room and knocked. Joe let her in. He pulled the box into the middle of the floor and opened it. Holly set down the supplies and retrieved the first item, noticing now that they were all numbered. She unwound the wadded newspaper on gift number one until she got a glimpse of it. It was an antique tin, shined to a bright silver, with little hand-painted flowers on the top. Holly popped the latch and opened it up. To her surprise, it was musical, the tinkling tune of “You Are My Sunshine” playing as Papa’s handwriting on a slip of paper inside gave her pause. She calmed herself and read his message: For your knitting needles, it said. Go to the linen closet.
“She’s always talking about needing somewhere to put them,” Holly said as she cut a square of paper and gently set the box in the center, pulling each side up and securing it with a piece of tape. She unrolled a stretch of ribbon and snipped it from the spool, tying a simple bow on top, then added the message to the bottom with another piece of tape.
Joe reached in this time, handing her the second present. Holly removed the newspaper to reveal a CD. She turned it over in her hand. “Oh! It has an early version of ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town’!” She flipped it around to show Joe, her excitement making her forget about everything but the holiday. “It’s a vintage Christmas music compilation from the twenties and thirties. I grew up listening to this.” The memory of it made her nostalgic. “Nana couldn’t find the record some Christmases ago, and she was huffing and puffing, turning every closet inside out to find it.” She grinned down at the shiny cover.
Resisting the urge to play it, she wrapped it instead. Papa’s next note was nestled in the wad of newspaper. It read: I’ll bet you never did find that record, did you? Holly could hear him laughing. Check under the sofa for my next gift. If your back hurts, make Holly do it. Biting back her amusement, Holly lovingly set it aside with the musical tin.
“I can’t wait to see what else is in here,” she said, the atmosphere of Christmas now settling around her, making her feel like Papa was with them.
Joe had a glimmer in his eye, and it was clear that he enjoyed finding these gifts too. “We should wrap quickly before your nana wakes up,” he warned.
“Yes, you’re right.”
She took the third gift from the box. It was heavier than the other two.
“War and Peace?” Joe looked up from the gift, obviously confused.
A loud laugh escaped from Holly’s lips and she slapped her hand over her mouth to quiet it, still giggling at the sight of Papa’s old, battered novel. She read the note: At the very least, it makes a good paperweight. I swear, though, you should read it. Head over to the kitchen window.
“Papa used to read this book over and over,” she explained, “and Nana said it was just to annoy her, because the premise bored her to tears. He’d chase after her, reading lines from it, and Nana would ignore him, as he followed her around, until she couldn’t stand it anymore. Then she’d put her hands on his face and kiss him to shut him up. Papa said that that was the real reason he always did it.”
Joe held her gaze, introspective, but whatever he was thinking wasn’t showing. Then he handed her present number four. It was small and fit in the palm of her hand. She unwrapped the newspaper and a thrill shot through her when she saw a jewelry box. Carefully, she lifted the lid and gasped. “Wowzers,” she said in a whisper, disbelief that this had sat in the barn for all this time. Cushioned down in a bubble of white satin was an enormous sapphire and silver ring, with little diamonds around the center stone. Holly took it out and slipped it on her finger to examine it. “It’s Nana’s birthstone,” she said. It shimmered in the light.
She returned it to the box and read the final note:
* * *
On our wedding day, you had something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. I wanted to repeat that one more time to remind you of our vows and the life we created because of them. Our time together was nothing short of amazing. How wonderful to think, that when we see each other next, we’ll get to start it all over again. Until then, Merry Christmas.
All my love,
Art
* * *
“I’ve only just learned his name,” Joe said, taking the note from her to reread it.
“He went by Art most of the time; it was short for Arthur. When Nana was being stern with him, she called him Arthur, but otherwise, he was Art.”
“I can tell he loved her,” Joe said, handing Holly the paper, a frown of consideration on his lips.
“He always told me, ‘Love will get you through anything.’”
Twenty-One
Holly helped Joe make a public Facebook post about his dad, which included the photograph. They stated that Joe would like to find an old friend named Harvey and any information about him would be greatly appreciated. Holly asked Joe if Katharine might share it for him, but he said she didn’t use social media—she was way too busy, he’d told her. So Holly shared it onto her own wall with her email address just to show him how much she wanted to help.
After, Joe went off to finish some work, and Holly made her way out to the barn to tidy up and to make sure there weren’t any other surprises left by Papa. With nothing else out of the ordinary there, she made an organized grouping of furniture and a path to the extra wood in case they needed any more. Then she came in to help with dinner.
“We have three notifications on Harvey’s post,” Joe said to her with no introductions, the phone in his grip. “Want to take a look?” He left a bowl full of potato peels and a kitchen towel on the counter and met her in the middle of the room. From the looks of it, he was helping Nana prepare supper. It looked like her famous winter squash and chicken casserole.
Holly leaned over his phone, the scent of him all around her. It was becoming recognizable. Just like the smell of Nana’s casserole: when she was around it, cooking, she hardly noticed, but when she’d come in from outside she smelled it immediately and she breathed in the familiar aroma with purpose.
Joe opened the notifications.
Only three post likes.
He closed the app and shrugged it off. “Oh well,” he said.
“Don’t get discouraged. It’s early still. It only takes one person to see it and everything can change.”
He smiled at her and put his phone back into his pocket, their eyes locked in solidarity. Holly was the first to look away.
“Is that a plow I see out the window?” she asked. A salt truck grumbled as it moved down the main road behind the plow.
Nana peered around her, visibly relieved, and Holly had to wonder if she would be glad to get Joe on the road the minute the flights were running again.
“The streets will still be a sheet of ice until the sun beats down on them tomorrow,” Nana said, holding a dish with two oven mitts on. “But that’s fine, because tomorrow’s Christmas Eve, and everything will be shut down anyway.” Nana slid the casserole into the oven. “I’ve invited Kay and Rhett over tonight for supper,” she said casually, as if it were no big deal.
Holly was aghast. She knew that this was Nana’s way of putting more space between Holly and Joe while simultaneously giving Holly something else to think about, but did she realize the drama she’d cause by having Rhett over? Holly hadn’t spoken to him since their kiss, and she still didn’t really know what to say about it. She was scrambling for a response, but Joe interjected.
“That will be nice,” he said, but she noticed those shoulders going up again. He spent an extra few seconds folding the towel, as if he needed something to occupy his hands while he gathered his thoughts.
“It’s good to have people around,” Nana said. “Holly and I have been by ourselves too much lately.” Nana didn’t look at Holly as she spoke, probably because she didn’t want to see Holly’s reaction to her inviting Rhett. “We need
to have Katharine visit as soon as possible, Joseph,” she said. “I’m sure she’ll want to meet Holly and see the location for the wedding first hand.” Nana’s suggestion was strongly given and direct as if to say, “You’d better get your fiancée out here so you two can act like an actual couple.”
“Yes, you’re right,” he agreed, and the atmosphere was reminiscent of the two of them acting kind and overly friendly when Joe had cooked breakfast for Nana, but it was clear they were having to work to put it on. “I’ll call her soon.”
“Perfect,” Nana said. “Perhaps we’ll make her dinner. But right now, we’d better get going on tonight’s. We’ve got company coming.”
Holly was certainly surprised by Nana’s invite, but she wouldn’t let it rattle her. She could handle this, no problem. Right?
* * *
The air was saturated with the smells of a winter supper and the Christmas tree glimmered in the corner of the living room. Holly had redone her makeup, brushed her hair, and chosen a red sweater to wear with her jeans. She was jittery, sitting on the sofa but unable to stay still, so she rearranged the knickknacks on the coffee table a few times.
Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. They’d be spending Christmas with Joe. As Holly looked at the presents under the tree, she thought about how Joe didn’t have any. She wished she could put something down there for him, but the streets were barely clear enough yet to get back into Nashville. Even if she could get out, she didn’t know what she’d find for him.
There was a knock at the front door, and Holly jumped out of her skin. She knew it was Rhett and Kay, and she couldn’t bear the anxiety it caused her. Holly got up to answer it and met Joe head on. He was wearing a blue and red button down and jeans, his face clean-shaven, his hair combed in that way he always did it, and the spicy scent of him cut through the air, making her more nervous. All she could do was offer him an uncomfortable look as she opened the door.
