Falling for the Forbidden: 10 Full-Length Novels

by Jessica Hawkins

  The minute he walks out of my room, the air changes. A cold emptiness expands in my chest. Needing some warmth, I cradle the cup between my hands. I allow his act of kindness to warm my heart and fill my empty spaces. He’s a contradiction of sensations, a very bad kind of good.

  * * *

  Gabriel

  When I walk into my study after lunch, Helga sits in my chair. How the hell did she get past security?

  I click the door shut. “How did you get in?”

  “Hi to you, too.” She leans back in my chair and crosses her ankles on my desk. Her dress rides up to her thighs, exposing black garter stockings. “Chill. Your mother let me in.”

  I’ll have to have a word with Magda. For Carly’s sake, I don’t invite my bed partners home. Seeing her reminds me that I haven’t fucked a woman in a very long time, not since I took Valentina.

  “Why did you come?” I approach the desk, irritated with her presence. “You know the rules.”

  She pouts. “I miss you.”

  “Carly’s home, for fuck’s sake.”

  “You haven’t called. It’s not like you.”

  I cross my arms and stare at her. I don’t owe her explanations. We fuck when we’re both in the mood, and that’s that.

  “I need you, lover boy.”

  “I’ve told you before, don’t call me that.”

  She uncrosses her legs and plants a heel on each side of my desk. No panties. Her fanny is bare, shaved like I prefer. The wide posture gives me a prime view of the goods on offer.

  “Tell me what to call you, ugly boy.”

  Normally, Helga would have my balls in a knot with the act. By now, I would’ve had her bent over my desk. I would’ve spanked her pink before fucking her smart mouth, but not today.

  My cock doesn’t stir. Not even a twitch.

  “I’m busy.”

  “It’ll only take five minutes.”

  I smirk. “You know me better than that.”

  “Okay,” she gives me a sly grin, “thirty if you make it a quickie.”

  “You have to leave.”

  “Throwing me out?”

  “Don’t make me. It won’t be pleasant for either of us.”

  She narrows her eyes. “Who are you fucking?”

  “No one.”

  “Come on. I know you. You can’t go a day without sex, let alone weeks.”

  I don’t have time for this shit. I round the desk and stop next to the chair, intimidating her with my size and height. “I’ll ask you nicely one last time.”

  She grabs my tie and pulls me down to her level. “You don’t scare me. Whatever you want to give, I can take it.”

  A knock on the door interrupts us, but she doesn’t let go or break the stare. I’m going to be a first-class jerk. I give her a calculated smile.

  “You won’t.”

  “Watch me,” I whisper.

  “It can be your daughter.”

  Carly never knocks. It’s probably Quincy or Rhett. “Come in,” I call in a loud voice.

  Helga’s eyes grow large. By now, she should know I never bluff. She brings her knees together and pulls down her dress, but not before the visitor who opens the door gets a full glimpse of her pussy.

  Triumphantly, I turn my head to see who the lucky spectator is and freeze. Valentina stands in the doorframe, a stack of white envelopes in her hand and shock in her eyes.

  Chapter Nine

  Gabriel

  “I’m sorry,” Valentina says. “I didn’t know you were busy.”

  I free my tie from Helga’s grip and straighten, not missing Helga’s curious expression. I have to be careful. Helga is perceptive. Raising a brow at Valentina, I encourage her to continue.

  She swallows and holds up the envelopes. “Your mother sent me to bring you these.”

  “Leave it on my desk.”

  She approaches with averted eyes and puts the stack on the corner. With a small nod, she hurries out of the room.

  “New staff?” Helga asks. “You never told me you have a maid. I thought you used a cleaning service.”

  I grip her arm and drag her to her feet.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Tell me why you’re really here.”

  She licks her lips. The facade finally drops. “I need money.”

  I always leave money after fucking Helga, and she’d feel two weeks without a bonus. Letting go of her arm, I take out my wallet and press a couple of thousand in her hand. She bats her eyelashes when I take her wrist and pull her around the desk.

  “Does this mean we’re fucking?”

  “It means I’m walking you out.” I all but drag her to the front door where Rhett stands guard. “See to it that she leaves the grounds.”

  “Gabriel!”

  The last thing I see before shutting the door in her face is her disgruntled expression. It’s over. I never want to see her again.

  * * *

  Valentina

  Gabriel Louw has a reputation. He’s dangerous, and the women who have first-hand experience say he fucks like a horse. Why seeing it with my own eyes hurt so much I can’t fathom. It’s not like I found out today. What did I expect? Exclusivity? Last night was sweet. The dull ache between my legs reminds me of how Gabriel fucked me with his finger. It’s the kind of hurt that feels good, until a few moments ago, before I walked in on a pretty blonde with her naked parts splayed on his desk. It’s a game to him. I’m his toy. When he tires of me, he’ll cast me aside. The only thing he values is the debt I owe. When I walk free, I don’t want to leave a piece of my heart here. That will be too ironic. It’s a good thing I walked in on them. No, it’s a good thing he allowed me to walk in on them. I guess he wanted me to see that, to remind me I’m not special. I’m one of many, and for the moment, I’m convenient.

  I get through the day by working myself to a standstill. Even my brain is too tired to think. That night, for the first time, he doesn’t come to me. I’m a heap of shivering and aching need when morning comes, cursing him and my body. Visions of him in the blonde woman’s bed drive me to maddened tears. He’s ruined me for other men. He’s ruined me for even myself.

  I’m busy with the vacuuming the following morning when he stumbles through the door, Rhett and Quincy in tow. His hair is disheveled, and there’s blood on his shirt. His knuckles are bleeding. My heart squeezes, and my pulse quickens. He glances at me, but limps down the hallway without a greeting. I contemplate the reason for his state the whole day, refusing to acknowledge the worry that gnaws on my gut. Worrying means caring, and I don’t care.

  At five, I have a shower and change into my shorts and T-shirt. I throw my tank top into my bag together with the food for the homeless dogs. I’m not in the mood to face Gabriel, but I’m not so stupid as to ignore his order to say goodbye before I leave.

  Like yesterday, he calls me in when I knock on his study door. I don’t enter, but only pop my head around the frame.

  “Have a good weekend. I’m off.” I retract my head, hoping to get away with a quick greeting, but I’m not that lucky.

  “Valentina.”

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath before facing him again.

  He gets up from behind his desk. He’s wearing a blue shirt with navy pants and a striped tie, looking as hot as ever. “I’ll take you.”

  All I can do is stare at him in confusion. “What?”

  “I’ll drop you off.”

  Gabriel is offering me a lift? I’m not sure how I feel about that. I don’t want him to be kind to me. “That’s not necessary. I can find my own way.”

  “Like you did last week?”

  “Um, yes.”

  “In a minivan?”

  “Yes.”

  He crosses the floor with menacing steps. “If you ever get into a minivan again, I’ll tan your ass so hard, you won’t sit for a week.” I blink up at him.

  “Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?” he asks.

  For a white girl, he means.
Other people have cars. Nobody dares walking in the street alone. The chances are too good of getting raped, tortured, and murdered. Life carries no value in this city, but in my world, if you don’t have a choice, you just have to take your chances.

  “You’re worth a lot to me, Valentina. I own you, and I protect what’s mine.”

  He returns to the chair and lifts his jacket off the back. Picking up his keys from the desk, he takes my hand and leads me to the garage.

  I feel small next to him in the luxurious interior of his car. He says nothing as he steers the sleek Jaguar down the driveway and into the traffic. Instead of heading east, he goes north. He doesn’t ask where I’m going, so I keep my mouth shut until he pulls up in front of an exclusive store in Sandton. I get out when he comes around to open the door for me, clutching my bag to my chest as he guides me inside the luxurious shop. It’s not like any department store I know. There are no items on display. There’s only a leather sofa and a glass desk stacked with clothes, purses, and shoes. A pretty, young lady greets us by the door and waves an arm to the desk.

  “Everything’s ready for you, Mr. Louw.”

  He acknowledges her with a curt nod and ushers me forward. “Go ahead. Choose whatever you like.”

  Dumbfounded, I gape at him.

  “What’s your color, darling?” the woman asks. “Red will look good with your complexion. White, too. Silver for the evening.” She starts pulling dresses from the heap and drapes them over the sofa.

  “Um, excuse me.” I clear my throat. “May I please have a moment with…” What do I call him in front of her? “…Mr. Louw.” “Gabriel,” he corrects.

  The woman looks from me to Gabriel. There’s judgment in her eyes, even if she tries to hide it. “I’ll fetch refreshments. Take your time.”

  When she disappears into a backroom, I turn to Gabriel. “What are you doing?” “I’m getting you clothes.”

  “Why?”

  “I threw your blue dress in the trash.” “I don’t expect you to replace it.”

  “I told you I like to take care of you.”

  Wringing my hands together, I close the distance between us. “I can’t take your money.”

  His eyes darken, the chipped blue turning stormy. “It’s legal money.”

  “It’s not that. It just doesn’t feel right.”

  “Feels pretty damn good to me. Are you saying making me feel good isn’t right?”

  “Don’t twist my words.”

  He grabs me to him so suddenly my breath catches. Holding me around the waist with one arm, he cups my breast and gives my nipple a soft pinch. “Don’t test my patience.”

  Immediately, heat floods my body. It bubbles in my veins and sends blood to my clit. My nipples are as hard as pebbles. I want to hate the feelings coursing through me, but I can’t. As my body puts my arousal on display, the same heat I feel reflects in his eyes.

  The shopkeeper returns with a pitcher of ice tea and glasses, but Gabriel doesn’t let go of me.

  She measures our stance. Depositing the tray on the table, she says in a professional tone,

  “Have you chosen anything yet?”

  An hour later, I walk out with a new dress, designer jeans, two T-shirts, a casual trench coat, a pair of ballerina flats, five sets of pretty underwear, and a cute off-shoulder sweater.

  Gabriel pushed me to take more, but this is already more than I need.

  He loads my parcels in the back of his car, and when we’re seated, he turns to me. “Where to, beautiful?”

  I’m sure he already knows, but I give him Kris’ address. On the way there, I try to figure out what just happened. By the time we pull up in front of the practice, I’m still nowhere near understanding Gabriel.

  He switches off the engine. “Your flat has been sold.”

  “Wow, that quickly?”

  “I arranged for the money to be paid into your bank account. I hope that’s in order.”

  “Gabriel...” I’m at a loss for words. “Thank you.” The words don’t express my gratitude, but they’re all I can muster.

  “No need to thank me. I said I’d handle it.”

  He reaches over me and opens my door, his arm brushing against my breasts. Before I can object, he gets my parcels and carries them to Kris’ house. Charlie meets us by the door, taking me into a bear hug.

  “Va–Val!”

  “Hey, big brother.”

  Gabriel holds out his hand for Charlie to shake. “Hi, remember me?”

  “You’re the ba–bad ma–man.”

  Gabriel chuckles. “I guess you can say that, but I prefer Gabriel.” Charlie takes a step back and looks at me with big eyes.

  “It’s okay, Charlie. Gabriel isn’t going to hurt us. I work for him, remember?”

  After contemplating my response, Charlie’s good manners finally win. “Want a jui–juice?” “Sure.” Gabriel flashes me a smile and makes himself right at home in Kris’ kitchen.

  I’m wary of having him around my brother. I watch him like a hawk while he makes small talk with Charlie, but Charlie quickly warms up to Gabriel. When he leaves an hour later, you’d swear they’re best buddies. What game is Gabriel playing? He can toy with me if that’s the price I have to pay for Charlie’s freedom, but I won’t let him disrupt my brother’s life.

  * * *

  Gabriel

  Since Carly is at her mother’s this weekend, I have the evening and tomorrow to myself. Magda is out with friends. I ensured that no business meetings were scheduled and gave Rhett and Quincy the weekend off. I pour a whiskey and settle into an armchair in the reading room with Valentina’s file in my lap. There’s not much in her history I don’t already know. Her father, Marvin, was involved in a car cloning syndicate. Her mother, Julietta, was a housewife. Valentina grew up in Rosettenville, in the south. When she was thirteen, their Chevrolet went off a bridge. Marvin was killed on impact. Valentina survived, and Charlie incurred serious injuries resulting in brain damage. One year later, her mother was killed during an armed bank robbery. An aunt took care of Valentina and Charles, moving into the flat her parents owned in Berea when their house was auctioned to cover the outstanding accounts and funeral costs. The aunt died after Valentina’s nineteenth birthday, leaving her to take care of Charlie alone.

  My earlier question remains. Why did no one take care of Julietta and her kids? In our business, family is everything. We take care of our own. Marvin wasn’t at the top of the hierarchy, but he wasn’t a petty thief, either. He had enough influence and support to guarantee his widow and children protection, a roof over their heads, and food. Instead, they lived from hand to mouth after his death.

  I put the file aside and wipe a hand over my face. The second folder contains Valentina’s bank activity of the day. Half of the money I paid her for her flat was transferred to Kris’ account. The other half, she paid into an account registered to UNISA. Following up the lead on the University of South Africa, I confirm my assumption. Valentina is enrolled in a correspondence degree in veterinary science. Using my contacts, I have a number for Valentina’s mentor at the university within minutes. Even if it’s late, I dial the number. It doesn’t take me long to convince Mrs. Cavendish to have breakfast with me tomorrow.

  * * *

  I sit at a table tucked away in a private corner on the Rosebank Hotel rooftop when Aletta Cavendish arrives. She’s not the old prude her voice made me imagine. The only reason I know it’s her is because she walks onto the rooftop at the exact time we agreed. The tall platinum blonde is in her late thirties. Wedding ring. Big diamond. The husband must have a cozy job, because university professors don’t earn that much. Her hair is loose around her shoulders, and there’s not a trace of makeup on her face. Even without the help of cosmetics, she’s attractive. She wears a white T-shirt and flowing, Indian-print skirt with leather sandals. There must be twenty bangles on her arm. The flower-child type. From her straight back and square shoulders, I gather she has confidence. Her walk is
easy and light. Clearly the type who sleeps well at night.

  She gives her name to the waiter, and when he motions in my direction, she meets my eyes with a level and friendly stare. For a moment, there’s shock on her face when she takes in my features, but her smile doesn’t unravel. Her earrings dangle as she approaches my corner. I’m on my feet before she reaches the table.

  She greets me with a firm handshake. “Mr. Louw.”

  “Gabriel, please.” I pull out her chair and seat her. “Thank you for meeting me.”

  Dropping an oversized bag next to her chair, she gives me a scrutinizing look. “I have to admit, if the student concerned wasn’t Valentina, I wouldn’t be here.”

  “I appreciate your time.” I nod at the waiter. “Shall we order?”

  As she studies the menu, I observe her. Aletta is intelligent and doesn’t beat around the bush. I like her. She’s passionate and dedicated. Must make a good teacher.

  We both order coffee and eggs benedict. When the waiter’s gone, she says, “You said on the phone you’re Valentina’s new employer. I didn’t know she’d changed jobs.”

  “It’s very recent.”

  “What does she do for you, exactly?”

  “House management.”

  She tilts her head. “Like a maid?”

  I smile, keeping my expression even.

  “I’m surprised,” Aletta continues. “She loved the job at the vet practice, and it was good experience.”

  “I made her an offer she couldn’t refuse.” No lies there.

  The waiter returns to serve our coffee. Aletta stirs in one sugar and milk. “In that case, it must be for better money. God knows, she can do with every extra cent.”

  “I’m concerned about her financial welfare, which is why I wanted to meet. Valentina doesn’t know about it, of course. She’s proud. I’d appreciate it if we can keep this discussion between us.”

  She blows on the coffee, watching me from over the rim. “What are you asking me?”

  “How much does she owe?”

  “Isn’t that a question you should ask her?”

  “All right. I’ll rephrase that. How much does a veterinary degree cost these days?”

  “You’re looking at roughly fifty thousand a year, excluding books and material.”