“Carly, this is Mrs. Botha. Say hi.” “Say hi,” Carly parrots.
I’m about to lose my cool and give her a lecture about proper manners, but Dorothy lays her hand on my arm.
“You can call me Dorothy.” She takes the chair opposite Carly and looks up at me expectantly.
I get it. She wants me to leave. “Coffee, tea?” “No, thank you.” She’s pleasant, but firm.
“All right, then.” I close the door, hoping to God Dorothy will accomplish what neither me nor Sylvia is able to do––get Carly to open up.
While the women are talking, or hopefully talking, I clear the table from our late breakfast, and feed Oscar. He’s got a new brand of food, the same as Bruno. With the price on the tag, they must put gold flakes in the kibbles. The brand’s worth its weight in gold, though, because Bruno’s allergies have disappeared, and Oscar’s coat is thick and glossy. Bruno’s food is delivered to our door from our local vet. I pay the bill. No cat food is included. The specialty food isn’t available at supermarkets. If Valentina doesn’t order it with our daily groceries, where does it come from?
Magda walks into the kitchen, dressed up in her black and white Chanel suit. “Where’s
Carly? I want to invite her for lunch.”
I cross my arms, and lean on the counter. “Where?”
“The McKenzies.”
My back immediately turns rigid. “Not interested.”
“Come on, Gabriel.” She props her clutch bag on her hip. “Carly’s never going to take your place. She hasn’t got it in her. Our only chance is finding her the right husband.”
“I said no.”
She advances two steps, stopping short of me. “Do you have a cleverer idea? What if something happens to you? Or me? Who’s going to take over our business? Not that golddigging, ex-wife of yours. Word’s going around she’s got her sights set on Francois. If she marries him and we can’t provide a successor, that slimy rat will take over as Carly’s stepdad. Is that what you want?”
Acid burns my mouth. Francois is a pretty boy five years Sylvia’s junior, but that’s not what’s bothering me. It’s the idea of him playing stepdad to Carly that I can’t digest.
“Answer me. Is that what you want?”
“Is that all you care about, finding a successor for the business? What about Carly’s happiness?”
“Happiness?” She laughs. “Carly is my granddaughter, but by God, she’s a spoiled child. You got her used to this.” She waves her arms around the room. “You give her everything her heart desires. You think she’s going to ever settle for less? I don’t think so.”
“Don’t project your sentiments on Carly.”
“Oh, money is as important to her as it is to me. Let’s face it, even if she’s not a leader, she’s a Louw. She’ll do her duty for our name.”
“Don’t you dare treat her like a pawn in your business. Carly’s not going to lead the life I live.”
“The life you live? You want to live the life of one of our debtors? Want to see what it’s like on the poor side of the fence? Do you know what happens to you and your daughter at night when you don’t have enough money for an alarm system that criminals can’t break through?”
“I know what happens. I’ve seen it.”
“You haven’t felt it. Believe me, you don’t want to live any other life than this life.” She scrutinizes me. “You’re getting soft, Gabriel. It’s that girl, isn’t it?”
My hackles rise. “She’s got nothing to do with this. Valentina or no Valentina, I’ll never marry Carly off to Benjamin McKenzie.”
“I hope for your sake you’re growing tired of fucking your toy.”
Every muscle in my body tenses. My injured leg protests against the strain. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“A cat only plays with a mouse for so long before he goes for the kill. Why isn’t she dead, yet?”
My heart drops like an ax splitting wood. “I’m not ready.”
“I’ve been patient with you. I gave you the toy you so badly wanted. We made a deal. Now
I’m giving you a direct order. Kill her, or I’ll do it for you.”
I almost jump on her. I’m a hairbreadth away from her face before I stop myself. “You’ll do nothing for me, do you hear me?”
“You have one last chance. Make it sooner than later.” She smiles sweetly. “You’re not twelve any more. Don’t make me shoot you in the foot.”
My vision goes blurry. I’m about to strangle my own mother in our kitchen. The only thing that stops me from reaching for her scrawny, white, wrinkled neck, is Carly’s figure that appears in the doorframe.
There’s a chill in her voice. “We’re done.”
“I’m going out for lunch, Carly dear. Why don’t you join me?”
“Magda is having lunch at the McKenzies,” I say, knowing how much Carly hates Benjamin.
“No thanks, Gran. I’ve got homework.” She trots down the hallway, pretending I don’t exist.
When Carly is out of earshot, I narrow my eyes. “Let me handle my own affairs and leave Carly out of the business.” Giving my mother my back, I walk from the room, feeling the tension in my leg.
“Softness will get you killed, Gabriel,” she calls after me.
Dorothy waits in the reading room.
I close the door and take a seat. “How did it go?”
She wipes her fingers over her brow. “She’s tough to talk to. Of course, I need to win her trust first.” She looks at me from under her lashes. “I pick up a need for approval and acceptance.
Are you spending enough time with her?”
“Not as much as I’d like.”
“Busy job?”
“It’s not that. Carly would rather spend time with her friends than her father.”
“It’s normal. Try to strengthen her self-esteem by complimenting her for homework well done or good deeds, anything positive, but be authentic. Make sure she knows you’re noticing her and taking an interest in her life.”
“I assure you, I am.”
“I don’t doubt that, or I wouldn’t be here. Just make sure you show her as well as tell her. It will help, of course, if I can have a joint session with you and your ex-wife to agree on a consistent strategy that will reinforce your daughter’s self-image.”
“I’m afraid you won’t find much cooperation from my ex-wife.”
“Ah, well.” She wipes her hands on her thighs and straightens. “Let’s see how it goes after a couple of sessions. Try to maintain the status quo at home. Don’t introduce any new or stressful situations if you can avoid it, at least not for a while.”
“Such as?”
“A stepmom.”
“Carly’s worried about that?”
“She mentioned it. I know this is a personal question, but are you seeing anyone, maybe a lady friend your daughter doesn’t get on with?” “No.” Not that Carly knows of, at least.
“Then Carly’s fear is unfounded. It’s not uncommon for children to feel lost after a divorce. Carly’s frightened of losing you or her mother to someone else. Reassure her of your affection whenever you can.”
“Of course.”
“I’ll see you next week, same time.”
“I’ll walk you to the door.”
Even as I speak, my mind is drifting to a reoccurring thought. How will Carly react if she ever finds out about Valentina?
* * *
Valentina
Regret is not a conducive sentiment. Still, I can’t help from feeling it when I read the letter addressed to me that Gabriel brings to the kitchen on Monday morning. Reading it with my back to him, I curl my fingers in a fist until my nails cut into my skin. I want to cry, but he’s hovering at the coffee machine.
“Good news?”
I glance at him from over my shoulder. He’s dressed in a dark suit with a blue shirt and yellow tie. He makes the ensemble look perfect. The tailored pants stretch over his narrow hips, which emphasizes the broadness of his
chest. His unique fragrance beckons me, but I need to be alone to deal with the news.
I shrug.
“All right.” He says it like a threat, making me understand he’ll let me get away with my disobedience of not giving him a reply for now, but maybe not later.
I hold my breath until he has left the room. Only when I’m alone do I allow the emotions to explode inside of me. I grab the edges of the counter so hard my arms shake from the strain. The letter crumples in my fist. I scrunch it up until it’s a tiny ball. Of all the sick jokes in the world, this one must have the best timing. I bang my fists on the counter, setting the bowls and knives and spoons clanging. For all of three seconds, I allow myself every single destructive emotion that lances into my heart, and then I lift the lid of the trashcan and dump the letter informing me of my all-inclusive scholarship inside. When the lid falls back with a clang, something inside of me ceases to exist. What’s left is the hollow echo of a dream and nothing more than the will to survive.
* * *
Gabriel
The letter that arrived from the university this morning should’ve made Valentina ecstatic. There’s a change in her I don’t understand. After doing my morning rounds at our franchises in town, I head to her friend’s place where Charlie lives. The woman waiting in reception with a Miniature Doberman shrinks back when she looks up at my face. Walking past her with practiced ignorance, I venture to the food section and lift my sunglasses to read the labels. I pull a bag of the urinary diet brand Valentina bought for Oscar from the shelf and carry it to the till. A few minutes pass before a peroxide blonde in a white overcoat exits. Hard lines mar her weathered face, and her fingernails are broken. Her eyes give away nothing as she assesses me.
They flitter from me to the bag of food standing on the counter.
“Can I help you?”
“Is this the best brand you’ve got?”
“By far.”
I lean an elbow on the counter and check out the board with the rates for neutering and vaccinations. “My housekeeper buys it for my cat. I don’t know the brand, but I thought I’d get the same.”
Her eyes flare for the briefest of seconds before she narrows them. “Your housekeeper is a clever girl.”
“She sure is, but she should’ve told me she’s paying for the food out of her own pocket.”
“Maybe she couldn’t, because she knows you don’t care much for your cat.”
The lady with the Doberman is watching us, her head bobbing between the vet and me.
“It’s true. I don’t care for the hair that he sheds in my house or the fact that he tears my curtains to pieces, but my housekeeper seems to like him, so here’s the deal. I’ll open an account and send a driver once a month to collect the food.” I point at the large breed dog food of the same brand. “You can throw in a couple of bags of that, as well.”
It almost looks as if she’s going to refuse me, but the state of her waiting room tells me she needs the business. After a moment of measuring me, she says, “I’ll take down your details.”
She writes my address and phone number down in a book. In this day and age, nobody uses a book, not even my most unsophisticated loan sharks. She has a patient waiting, and me taking a chunk of her consultation time. What she needs is a computer and an assistant. No wonder she’s operating in a run-down building, charging fees lower than the going rate.
I tap my fingers on the countertop as she scribbles down my order. “You should go electronic.”
She lifts her head to give me a cutting look. “I’ll upgrade when I can afford it.”
I don’t blame her for hating me. What makes her different than the rest of the world? In any event, I’m not out to win anyone’s love. I can forget about getting information on Valentina’s emotional state of late from this woman. She won’t give me a glass of water if I’m dying.
She slams the book closed. “Are we done?”
I let the sunglasses fall back over my eyes. “For now.”
Saluting her, I take the food and walk to the door. The Doberman whines as I pass her owner who leans as far away from me as she can without falling out of her chair.
* * *
Valentina
This lasagna can’t flop. I’m so engrossed in letting the white sauce thicken without forming lumps that I don’t notice Rhett until he’s right next to me. Startled, I drop the whisk. It bounces on the stovetop, rolls off the edge, and hits the ground. It’s the first time he’s set foot in the kitchen since I arrived. He bends down to retrieve the whisk and rinses it under the tap before handing it back to me.
“Thank you.” I use my left hand to stir the sauce.
He motions at the bandage on my thumb. “How’s the hand?”
“Good, thank you.”
He gives a wry smile. “I didn’t get a chance to apologize for driving you to the Joburg
Gen. If I had any idea the place was that bad, I would’ve gone directly to the clinic.”
“You did what I asked.”
“I wasn’t thinking straight. I saw the blood and kind of blanked out.”
I can’t help but smile. “You? Seriously?”
He lifts his palms in a gesture of surrender. “It wasn’t the blood as much as it was you. I thought Gabriel was going to kill me.”
“For what?”
“It happened on my shift.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“Wouldn’t have mattered. I was the messenger.”
I stop stirring to look at him. “I’m sorry if I got you into trouble.”
He grins. “Not as much trouble as you got yourself into. No more kitchen accidents, okay?”
“I’ll do my best.” I return my attention to the sauce.
He leans on the counter and crosses his ankles. “I was thinking of getting you a puppy.”
“A puppy?”
“I already cleared it with Gabriel.” He shifts his weight around. “I can get you one of those fluffy dogs women like. A Maltese Poodle or something.”
“I don’t want a dog.”
He looks disappointed. “Why not?”
“I’ve lost enough. I don’t want to care about another dog.”
He uncrosses his ankles and crosses his arms, not meeting my eyes.
When he doesn’t speak, but doesn’t leave either, I remove the sauce from the heat, and turn to face him squarely. “Why did you shoot Puff, Rhett?”
His chest expands, as if he’s taking a breath, and when he lifts his gaze again, he regards me with a level stare. “I didn’t want to leave the dog to fend for himself on the streets.” “What?”
“I’ve seen enough of dogs to know that mongrel wasn’t going to make it on his own.
Leaving him would’ve meant a drawn-out, cruel death of starvation.”
“Leaving him?”
His voice takes on a quiet tone. “When we broke into your flat that morning, it was with explicit orders.”
The blood drains from my head, leaving me with a fuzzy feeling. Rhett was certain we weren’t going to get out alive, neither Charlie nor me. Oh, my God. Gabriel wasn’t there just for Charlie. He was going to kill us both. I put the information away in the back of my mind to deal with later. Alone.
“I don’t know why Gabriel changed his mind, but I can assure you, it’s never happened before.”
My laugh is forced. “My mother used to say I have a guardian angel. Maybe she was right.”
“If it’ll make you feel better, Gabriel fucked me up good for killing your dog.”
“That day you came out of the gym with a broken nose.”
“Yep. Look, I’ll sleep a whole lot better if you’ll let me get you that dog.”
The look he gives me is so remorseful that my compassion wins over my vengeance over Puff. Logically, I understand why he did it. It doesn’t make it right or better, but I’m not in a position to deny anyone redemption. I’m still chasing after absolution for what happened to Charlie. Wiping my hands on my apr
on, I consider his proposal. Another living being will only make me more vulnerable than what I already am, because that’s what caring for someone or something does.
“I don’t want a dog. I want you to train me.”
He looks at me like I lost my mind. “What?”
“Teach me self-defense. We can practice in the gym.”
“Gabriel will kill me.”
“Not if he doesn’t know. We can do it when he’s out.”
“It’s a crazy idea, Valentina.”
“Is it? Have you ever stood helpless while men took the money you busted your ass for?
Have you ever been held down and violated, unable to do a goddamn thing about it?” He averts his eyes, unable to hold mine.
“Please, Rhett. I’m not going to use it against anyone in this house. I’m not stupid. I just don’t want to feel helpless any longer.”
He swallows. “Ask me anything else. If Gabriel finds out––”
“He won’t, not unless you tell him.”
He looks at me again, a war waging in his eyes. Finally, it’s his guilt that wins out. “Fine, but not a word to anyone, not even Quincy.”
“All right.”
He straightens from the counter, but his shoulders sag. “I’ll let you know when the coast is clear.”
“Thank you.”
“Consider us even.” There’s a hint of apprehension and even fear in his expression as he walks from the room.
* * *
Gabriel
The report from Anton only confirms what I already know. No one knows anything about Valentina’s rape. I drop the pen on my desk and rub my tired eyes. I’m not surprised Marvin didn’t go to the police. His family was shamed. The way he would’ve dealt with the crime was to avenge his daughter’s stolen innocence by killing the man responsible. Since he died in the same year she was assaulted, I’m not sure he got around to it. Is that why Lambert abandoned his promised fiancée? Because she was spoiled goods? Find the bastard who raped her I will, but for now I have a bigger priority––Magda’s threat.
Never underestimate Magda. I know what she’s capable of better than anyone. If I don’t kill Valentina, she will do it, and as punishment for my disobedience she’ll do it in a way that will hurt me. I’m not shy about my habits. My mother knows I fuck like some people take up a hobby. She knows I’m territorial and the most possessive bastard on the face of the earth. She knows me well enough to understand that the thought of another man’s hands on Valentina will drive me to my knees, especially after what I did to Diogo. Valentina’s death is a place I can’t even go. If Magda has to finish the job for me, Valentina will most likely suffer gang rape followed by a horrendous and slow death of torture. I have to find a way to keep her, but there’s nowhere I can hide her where Magda’s network of business associates won’t find her. And then there’s Charlie. What do I do with him? Where do I keep him safe? I made a deal with Valentina and, knowing how much Charlie means to her, this is one I intend to honor. Every problem has a solution. I just have to look hard enough.
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