by Amy Ruttan
She understood what he meant, but still it stung like a slap. He might not be ready to introduce her, but what about when the baby came? When he had an infant in tow when he dropped Lucy off to see them? His in-laws had a right to know.
So she watched from a distance, as she had before. His in-laws briefly glanced at her, but nothing more, and she felt as if she was an outsider again, when for one brief moment she’d felt as if she were a part of Kody’s little family.
It was a sharp reminder of why she had put walls up.
Why she didn’t get involved.
Rejection, even when unintentional, still hurt.
CHAPTER EIGHT
KODY WAS BUSY with work.
At least that was what he told her after their nice time in the park had been cut short when Jenny’s parents showed up. Not that Sandra blamed them in the slightest. They didn’t know, but since that chance encounter Kody had pulled back and kept his distance.
And Sandra had given him the space he needed.
It had been a couple of weeks and she was bored out of her gourd. Megan came by every once in a while to tell her the progress of what was going on with her trauma department or some other kind of gossip that Sandra really didn’t care about, but it was a distraction from the boredom.
At least today she was supposed to see Kody.
She was going to meet him at the hospital for her OB/GYN appointment. It had been a couple of weeks since Dr. Ohe first confirmed that she was pregnant, and Sandra was anxious about today. She was worried that when she went there today Dr. Ohe wouldn’t be able to find a heartbeat or that the pregnancy was gone.
You haven’t had cramps. You haven’t had spotting.
She would be ten weeks. Six weeks was the longest she’d ever carried a baby so twelve seemed too good to be true.
She parked her car in the employee lot and walked to the main entrance. She was early and she needed time to think, and a nice, casual stroll from the employee lot to the main entrance was exactly what she needed to clear her head and to think about everything.
Although she couldn’t really begin to wrap her mind around much. It was as if her brain had turned to mush or something.
All she knew was she was going stir-crazy and she had to do something. She wasn’t crafty, so taking up a crafty type of hobby wasn’t her thing.
There’s the DNA test.
She had told Kody that she was going to get her DNA tested and find out what hereditary diseases she might be at risk for, but she hadn’t done that yet. Nor had she applied to the courts to see about obtaining information about her biological parents. She’d always put it off—maybe it was time to pursue that.
Even if she was terrified about the prospect.
If she didn’t apply to have her adoption records opened, she was at least going to get her DNA tested and she was positive that Jocelyn could help her with that by administering the blood test.
When she got up to the maternity floor, she didn’t see Kody anywhere.
“Did Mr. Davis come by?” Sandra asked the receptionist.
“No. I’m sorry, Dr. Fraser.”
“Thanks.” Sandra tried to hide her disappointment, but really it wasn’t a surprise to her. After they’d run into Jenny’s parents in the park, something had changed with Kody and she’d been worried that this was going to happen.
This is why you have walls. This is why you have boundaries.
“Dr. Fraser? Dr. Ohe will see you now.”
Sandra nodded and followed the nurse into the exam rooms. The nurse took her BP, did a finger stick to test for her glucose levels and gave her a cup with an orange lid so that she could give them a urine specimen.
After Sandra did all of that and left the specimen in the washroom, she headed back to her exam room and waited for Jocelyn to come in.
“Well, Sandra, I have good news,” Jocelyn said as she entered the room. “You’re still showing consistent HCG levels in your urine. This is a good sign.”
“Good,” Sandra whispered.
“Do you want to wait for Mr. Davis?” Jocelyn asked.
Sandra glanced at the clock on the wall. He knew what time her appointment was, and it was obvious that he wasn’t coming.
“No, he’s probably held up at an emergency or something.”
Jocelyn nodded. “Have you thought about getting a DNA test done? I know you’ve mentioned that to me before.”
“I would like one done. I’m hoping you can do the blood work?”
“Of course.” Jocelyn set down her tablet, which contained Sandra’s file, and prepared stuff to draw some blood. “I’ll also take a couple of vials for my normal tests.”
“Good. Let’s get it over and done with,” Sandra said, rolling up her sleeve.
Jocelyn wiped her arm with an alcohol swab. “Little prick. There. I like doing some tests on doctors because I don’t have to explain much.”
Sandra smiled.
Jocelyn finished her blood draw, added labels to the vials and called for a nurse, who came and took the blood work away and then off to Pathology.
“So what now?” Sandra asked.
“We’ll check for a heartbeat on the Doppler. If I don’t pick one up, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t one there. It just means it’s too early for the Doppler to pick it up, but we’ll do an ultrasound anyway, to check that everything is where it should be.”
Sandra nodded. “That would be great. I’m having a hard time believing that it’s still there and viable.”
“You feeling better?”
“Sort of. Kody made me this tea that seems to be helping. He gave me the recipe and I’ve been drinking it faithfully.” Sandra pulled up the recipe on her phone and Jocelyn examined it.
“Ah, yes, that’s similar to one my halmoni would make for us when we were sick. Usually after the long flight back to Seoul from Boston. I got the worst motion sickness when I was a kid.”
“Kody said it worked well for him as a kid too, and, though I was skeptical, I have to admit it is working.”
“Well, it’s perfectly safe, so if it’s working, then keep using it.” Jocelyn pulled off her gloves and disposed of them. “Now, lie back and we’ll see if we can find a heartbeat. I also want to chat with you about setting up a glucose fasting test at sixteen weeks and an amniocentesis.”
“You’re getting too far ahead for me, Jocelyn.”
“You’re a trauma surgeon—I thought you liked to think ahead?” Jocelyn teased as she lifted Sandra’s shirt.
“Well, this is all overwhelming and I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself.”
“Understandable.” Jocelyn flicked on the Doppler. It made a static sound as Jocelyn ran the wand over her belly.
Sandra closed her eyes and tried not to let her emotions get the best of her as they waited, listening for a sound.
She’s not going to find any sound. There’s no heartbeat. Why did you think this was going to work?
And just as those self-destructive thoughts were running through her mind she heard it. A sound...a fast noise that was so different that it had her heart pounding and her blood rushing through her body.
It was the sound of something alive inside her.
Her baby.
“There’s the heartbeat. Nice and strong.” Jocelyn smiled at her, her dark eyes warm. “Congratulations.”
Sandra was fighting back the tears, but she couldn’t stop them from slipping down her cheeks, down the sides of her face and into her ears because she was lying on her back. The baby was there. There was a baby, alive, inside of her.
It was strong and it was still there. Her baby.
“We’ll do an ultrasound so I can check to make sure that everything is okay.”
Sandra nodded her head in agreement, because she couldn’t find the words to say. She w
as so moved with emotion, but she was sad that Kody was missing this. That Kody wasn’t here to hear their baby’s heartbeat.
Even if it had been awkward after Jenny’s parents saw them in the park, this wasn’t like him. He wanted this baby.
He’d told her that.
It’s his loss.
And then another part of her worried that this might be the only time that she would get to hear the heartbeat, because, at ten weeks, she was not out of the danger zone yet. Sandra knew that she wouldn’t feel completely safe about this pregnancy until she was past the point for when a baby could survive out of utero.
She had to get to twenty-five weeks minimum. She just had to.
“Are you okay?” Jocelyn asked.
“Just worrying.”
“It’s understandable.” She turned on the monitor and it didn’t take her long to find the baby. “See, everything looks good. The baby has a strong heartbeat and there’s a little arm. The baby is quite active. That’s a good sign. Your placenta is in a good spot. So far, so good, Sandra. I still want you to take it easy. I still don’t want you working.”
“It’s driving me crazy not working. I hope that you know that.”
“Did you have any research you wanted to get done?” Jocelyn asked.
“What do you mean?”
Jocelyn shrugged. “Some kind of new innovation that you’ve always wanted to research, but just couldn’t because you were a trauma surgeon and always on the go?”
“Yes. I suppose I had a couple of ideas tucked away for when I had time to pursue it.”
“Now’s the time,” Jocelyn said, wiping up her belly. “You may be on light duty, but I know that the chief wouldn’t mind if you used your sabbatical to actually pursue something good for the hospital. Rolling Creek has an extensive library and a research lab. All you have to do is make a proposal to the board of directors.”
“When is the next board meeting?” Sandra asked, intrigued.
“In a month. That’s plenty of time to get a project up and running.”
Sandra felt excited. It was perfect. It was exactly the thing she needed to stop her from going stir-crazy and worrying about whether or not Kody was all in.
This was something she could finally devote time to, and maybe even get a grant from the hospital board of directors to help fund it.
“Here’s a picture to show Kody and it’s a keepsake for you.” Jocelyn slipped the ultrasound image into an envelope. “I want to see you in a month.”
“A month?” Sandra asked, shocked and nervous.
“Yep, unless there’s spotting or cramping or anything that freaks you out. Right now, you’re doing well. Rest, study and get that proposal ready.”
“Thanks, Jocelyn.”
Jocelyn smiled at her and left the exam room. Sandra slipped the envelope into her purse. She was so excited to go home, fire up her computer and go through her old files. She had a purpose again. She may not be in the operating room like she wanted to be or out on the trauma floor saving lives, but this would at least keep her sane.
Keep her connected to the job she loved.
And keep her mind off Kody.
* * *
Sandra was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t hear her name being called across the lobby. Finally she clued into the fact that Dr. Fraser was her and that she was being paged.
She turned around to see Kody’s sister, Sally Davis, running toward her. She was in her paramedic uniform and she looked frightened.
Sandra’s stomach did a flip and her heart sank.
Oh, God.
“Sally?” Sandra rushed over to her. “What’s happened?”
“Kody’s rig was in an accident. Robbie is pretty hurt and is in surgery. Kody has a concussion and a couple of broken ribs. He was on his way to the appointment. Please know he didn’t ditch you.”
Sandra was shocked. “So you know.”
Sally blushed. “I do. He told me. He really wanted to be there.”
“I believe you.”
Sally sighed, relieved. “Good.”
“What about Lucy?” Sandra asked.
“Jenny’s parents took Lucy to Disneyland for a small holiday. They left yesterday.” Sally worried her bottom lip. “The accident the rig was in was part of a huge chain on the highway—a transport truck flipped and there are more injured. I have to get back out there, but they won’t discharge him unless he has somewhere to go.”
“I can take him back to my place and watch him. You go.”
Sally nodded. “Thank you, Sandra. I know this is awkward for you...”
“Go,” Sandra insisted. “I’ll watch him for the next twenty-four hours and make sure he doesn’t exacerbate his concussion.”
Sally nodded again and ran back toward the ambulance bay. There would be more injured coming in and if Kody was stable enough to be discharged, he had to make room for the other injured that would be brought in soon.
Sandra made her way down to the trauma department and found out where Kody was being kept. She pulled back the curtain and he was lying there, his head stitched and his chest bandaged, to hold the ribs in place.
He looked bruised and broken. And it made her so upset to see him like that. And the realization hit her that she could’ve lost him. Her baby would’ve lost its father, and she tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to come.
“So, I guess I know why you missed the appointment.”
He smiled weakly at her; he was obviously drugged up. “How’s Robbie?”
“I don’t know. I know he’s in surgery.”
“He was thrown, you see. We were stopped helping a patient and a transport truck rammed into the back of the rig. I wasn’t in the rig, but Robbie was.”
Sandra’s stomach did a flip-flop. “Oh, my God. You could’ve been killed.”
“Where’s Sally? She’s supposed to take me home, but I told her I’m not leaving until I know that Robbie is okay.”
“Sally had to go back to work. There’re more injured. As soon as I find a doctor, I’m going to take you back to my place. You have to be watched for the next couple of days to make sure you don’t have a concussion and you don’t injure yourself further. You have broken ribs, my friend.”
Kody chuckled and closed his eyes.
“He’s pretty high,” Dr. Murdoch said, coming in. “Dr. Fraser, it’s good to see you. How are things?”
“Good. Kody’s sister, Sally, is still on duty, so I’m going to take Kody home and I can keep an eye on him.”
Burt nodded. “Good. So I don’t have to explain concussion protocols to you?”
“No. Could you have a couple of orderlies get him up and in a wheelchair? I’ll drive my car around to the emergency entrance.”
“I can certainly do that for you, Dr. Fraser.”
“Thanks, Burt. Oh, and how is Kody’s partner, Robbie?”
Burt frowned. “It’s not looking good. He has severe internal injuries. His Glasgow coma scale on arrival was three.”
Sandra’s heart sank. That was not a good prognosis. “Can you keep me informed? Kody’s worried about him.”
“I can. Take him home and make sure he gets rest and I’ll let the fire station know that he’s off work until those ribs heal, at least. If he has a concussion, he’ll be off longer.”
“Thanks, Burt.”
Dr. Murdoch handed her the discharge papers and Kody roused again.
“Sandra! What’re you doing here?”
“Oh. Boy. You’re high, all right. I’m going to take you home. A couple of orderlies are going to help you up and I’m going to meet you out front with my car.”
“Cool.”
Sandra tried not to laugh and left the emergency room. She waved to a few people who waved to her, but everyone was busy tending to those
who had been brought in from the accident and getting ready for those who were still incoming.
It took Sandra twenty minutes to drive from the employee parking lot to the emergency department because of a traffic jam and a minor fender bender on the thoroughfare. When she got down to the emergency department doors, an orderly was sitting with Kody, who was laughing to himself in a wheelchair.
Sandra parked her SUV and got out, opening the passenger-side door.
“It hurst when I laugh,” Kody said brightly.
“It ‘hurst’? You mean it hurts, don’t you?”
Kody grinned and winked. “Right, I think my ribs are broken, baby.”
Sandra rolled her eyes. “Come on, Captain Obvious, into the car.”
Once Sandra had Kody secure, the orderly left and Sandra climbed back into the driver side. She had Kody’s prescription for pain meds that she’d call in and have delivered, but first she had to stop at his house and get him a change of clothes and make sure everything was locked up there.
Kody didn’t really say much. He just leaned against the seat and dozed on and off. She found his key in his jacket pocket and ran inside his house to pack him an overnight bag. His room was surprisingly neat, so she found everything no problem.
When she opened his shirt drawer, she found a picture, in a frame. It was Jenny. A picture of a young woman, but it was Jenny nonetheless.
She was pretty, but it wasn’t the first time she’d seen a picture of Lucy’s mother. They were all over the house, but Sandra couldn’t help but wonder why this picture was hidden away in Kody’s shirt drawer. And as she looked around the room, there was no other sign of Jenny anywhere else.
Which made her feel guilty. As if she was intruding.
Focus. You don’t want him to wake up and get out of the SUV, do you?
Sandra finished her packing and then locked up his house, making sure everything was secure. When she came back to the SUV, Kody was still snoozing away.
Great. He’s drooling on his shirt.
And that made her laugh to herself.
By the time they got to her house he was waking up again and appeared to be more lucid.
