I open it and I'm amazed to see documents - a passport, social security number, university acceptance. Theo's stuff.
I continue to look through them and I see a letter addressed to me.
Dear Adrian,
I'm sorry. I'm not sure you'll ever forgive me, but I'll have to take the risk.
I realize I've never valued my identity and my privilege. You were right. I was selfish.
Which is why I hope you will be able to make the best out of it. (Don't worry, no one will miss me!)
You don't have to be a criminal to fight criminals.
I hope you'll take this chance to fight bad with good.
P.S. Classes start in two months! I already picked your courses. Hope you like political science and law.
You can do it!
Your only friend,
Theo
I felt tears run down my cheeks. That idiot! He actually wants me to take his place. I crunch the paper in my fist. Idiot.
Two months later
"Hi, where can I register for freshman orientation?" I ask the lady at one of the stands.
"You're at the right place!" She says with a bright smile. "What's your name?"
"Theo... Theodore Hastings." I cringe at my own voice, but she doesn't seem to notice.
"Perfect. Let me get you your ID." She sifts through some papers before handing me a university ID that has a picture Theo uploaded for me as well as a bunch of freebies and stationaries.
"Welcome to Harvard!" She waves as I go.
Two months ago, Adrian Burnett died in the pit. Theodore Hastings made it out alive.
You were right, Theo, I don't have to stoop to Jimenez's level to get him. I just have to get up high enough.
CHAPTER XXVI
I don't know how much time's passed. Vlad’s given me one of his guestrooms, a room bare except for basic necessities. He'd advised me how tough the next few days were going to be, and yet I didn't believe him.
As I lay in bed now, my skin drenched in sweat, my body heavy and lethargic, I almost want to beg him to either give me a line or put a bullet through my brain. It's been a while since my mind started playing tricks on me, a fogginess clouding my sight and making me lose track of everything around.
I'm in and out of consciousness.
I sleep and sleep and when I wake up I want to sleep again. At some point I have to admit to myself that it’s not just my body that yearns for that rest, but also my mind that doesn’t want to face reality.
Whenever I find myself awake, my mind immediately take me back to my last conversation with Theo. I keep hearing his words, again and again. They keep replaying in my head like an anthem.
"You disgust me! "
I'd never made excuses for my behavior before.
I always thought that I am what I am, why should I change? I kill because I enjoy it. I take coke because I enjoy it. I love Theo because I enjoy it.
Maybe that's the problem... It always goes back to what I'm enjoying. I don't think I've ever done anything that didn't result in my enjoyment, no matter how much I'd professed that I'd always put Theo's well-being above my own.
Alone in my continuous torment, I realize I never did.
I was overconfident. I assumed he'd never find out. I assumed he'd always be mine.
And now he's not.
Why? Why couldn't he overlook it? Why couldn't he accept me?
But I knew the truth deep down, just as I'd known when I'd changed my personality to suit him. I'd known he'd never go for me, the real me.
I'm bawling at this point. Big, fat tears streaming down my face. I can't do this. I can't ever do this.
I struggle out of bed, almost tripping on my way out.
"Vlad!" I yell, banging on the door. "Vlad!" I keep on hitting the door.
"Bianca?" I hear Vlad respond once the door opens.
I don't stop however, now hitting his chest instead.
"I can't do it Vlad. I can't! Please don't make me do it!" I cry out, sobs wrecking my body. When all my energy is spent from my tantrum, I collapse at Vlad's feet.
"B, come on, let's put you to bed." He gathers me in his arms and puts me to bed.
"Please..." I beg him. "One line. Just one. I need out of my head. I can't bear these thoughts, Vlad." My hands go to his blazer and I'm pleading with him at this point. I don't want to hear Theo's voice telling me how disgusting I am anymore. I don't want to see his face full of disappointment, of hate.
"I can't, B. You have to push through. It's only been two days. It's going to get better, I promise."
"Why would I? He hates me. He... He can't stand the sight of me."
"But you said you weren't going to give up on him. Remember?"
I shake my head. "It's pointless. He's never going to forgive me, is he?"
"Shh, B, come on, sleep." He tugs my head towards the pillow, holding me for a little longer.
I sleep more, waking up only to eat and drink some fluids. Sasha, Vlad's doctor, comes by a few times to check up on me, but he doesn't say much.
I'm still having bad dreams. And when I'm awake my mind immediately goes to Theo.
I've asked Vlad if he's tried to contact me so far, but he refrained from replying.
In my few moments of clarity, I can understand Vlad's thoughts. He doesn't think I can ever get Theo back.
It's a new day when I wake up, or so I think. From Vlad's told me, this is the third day of my detox. To say I'm craving a line is an understatement. From the moment I open my eyes, I become aware of the trembling in my body. The fact that my eyes can't focus well on things. But mostly, I become singularly focused on getting more dope.
It's pure instinct when a guy comes in later to bring me food. I wait for him to give me his back before I grab him by the throat, stealing his gun.
I'm still a sweaty mess, but I'm a sweaty mess with a purpose.
I yank open the door and I head for one of the warehouses. I know Vlad's house like I know my own. And I know he always keeps some product on hand for emergency deliveries. I just have to make my way to the edge of the property where the warehouses are located.
I only make it to the back garden before Vlad catches up with me.
"Please don't stop me, Vlad." I plead with him. I must look a fright, and I can feel my fingers trembling on the trigger of the pistol in my hand.
"Put the gun down, malyshka, you can't shoot shit right now and you know it." He smiles at me and cocks his head. I raise my hand and try to point it at Vlad and the guys behind him.
"You don't want to do this." He continues and removes his cell phone from his pocket dangling it in front of me.
"Please Vlad. You don't get it. I can't do this!" I don't recognize my own voice when I'm speaking.
Vlad just shrugs at me and dials a number, showing me he's putting it on speaker.
"Hastings here." The voice says on the other end and my eyes widen in surprise.
"No..."
"Mr. Hastings, just the man I wanted to talk to." Vlad smiles and I take a step towards him whispering no again.
"What is it Vlad?" My husband asks in a clipped manner.
"I have something of yours." He looks at me. "Although, she's a little damaged."
"No..." I keep shaking my head.
"What are you on about, Vlad?" Theo asks, and Vlad winks at me.
"Bianca, do you want to say something to your husband?"
"Theo..." I say his name, the hand holding the gun coming down on its own.
I take a step towards the phone, my focus suddenly changing from dope to Theo. I don't make it though. At some point, while in motion, I feel a figure sneak behind my back and a needle poking my skin.
I almost fall to the ground before someone catches me, but I manage to yell one more time at the top of my lungs.
"Theoooo!"
CHAPTER XXVII
It's been three days. Three days since Bianca's left the apartment and hasn't picked up any of her things. Three days in whic
h Bianca hasn't as much as called or left a message.
I should be glad – cutting the ties so efficiently.
But I can't.
I miss her.
I can't sleep. I can barely eat. And when I'm at home all I do is look at photos of us.
Pathetic, I know.
She never loved you. I try to tell myself. She's not capable of it.
No matter how much I try to come to terms with it, I can't.
I'm in my car, heading to a meeting when my cell rings.
"Hastings here." I activate my Bluetooth headpiece and answer.
"No... " I can hear a vague sound in the background.
"Mr. Hastings, just the man I wanted to talk to." It's when the voice comes through that I realize who it is. I frown, trying to think why he'd reach out to me. My relationship with Vlad is casual at best.
"What is it, Vlad?" I ask, a bit tersely.
"I have something of yours." He says and pauses. "Although she's a little damaged." Something of mine? Now that's unusual. But I'm curious so I ask.
"What are you on about, Vlad?"
"Bianca, do you want to say something to your husband?" Vlad says and my hands clench on the steering wheel. Why would Bianca be with Vlad? Then I hear a small “Theo..." followed by a loud wailing “Theoooo!"
My foot hits the brake without even realizing. I look left and right and decide to pull over to compose myself.
"Vlad? What's the meaning of this?" I can barely breathe, thinking of all possible scenarios. Her voice... Lord, her voice.
"I told you, your wife is a little damaged."
"What do you mean by that? Tell me?"
"Do you care?" He asks casually and I curse under my breath. "Vlad, just tell me!" I demand and he chuckles.
"If you want to know you can come by. I'll text you the address. It's up to you." He hangs up the phone.
I'm stunned for a moment before I hit the wheel in frustration.
Please be ok Bianca is all my mind can process at the moment.
I don't even think, I copy the address and input it in my GPS, changing direction and heading straight to Vlad's house.
So much for a clean break
The entire way to the address Vlad provided I'm wrecked with worry. What could have happened to her? Is she ill? Did she get herself into trouble? Is she in trouble with Vlad? How exactly do they know each other?
When I finally arrive at the destination, I'm greeted by armed guards who perform a rudimentary search on me.
Of course.
I am then escorted by one of them into a very normal looking mansion.
"Where is she?" I bark when I spot Vlad at the entrance. He gives me an amused smile and looks at his watch.
"It only took you half an hour. Any traffic violations Mr. Law and Order?" I grit my teeth at his sarcasm. "I mean, never let it be known that I am heartless." He cocks his head to the side as if thinking about something. "Come, she's sleeping now."
He leads me towards a room on the other side of the house. I'm so keen on finding out what happened to Bianca that I'm not even taking any precautions, like assessing my environment or keeping my eyes on potential dangers.
Vlad opens the door to a small room, and on the bed, I see the figure of my wife, sound asleep.
"What's wrong with her?" I ask as I near the bed and take in her ragged appearance. Her hair is knotted and messy, her clothes damp and clinging to her form. Her face is pale, her lips chapped and dry. I immediately run my hand on her forehead noting she is feverish.
"She's detoxing." Vlad answers, leaning on the door frame. "We had to sedate her because she stole a gun and attacked me."
"What?" I whip my head around to regard him.
"Come, let her rest. She'll be as good as new by the end of the week. You must have a lot of questions and as it happens, I'm feeling mighty generous." He stands and motions me out, leading me to what looks to be a study. He shuts the door behind us and takes a seat at his desk, telling me to do the same.
For a second there's only silence, and I see him staring very intently at a pendulum on his desk. Then, as if he remembers I'm still in the room with him, he turns to me and gives me a jolly smile.
"Now, where were we."
"Maybe on the why Bianca is here." I answer dryly. It's clear to me that no one means her harm here. If they had, she wouldn't be sleeping peacefully after pointing a gun at Vlad. On that point, I am relieved. But I still want to know what Vlad is willing to impart.
"I've known your wife for more than ten years." He pulls a drawer, taking a pack of gum and popping one in his mouth. Chewing on it, he continues. "She's what you'd call my friend."
I frown at this. More than ten years, friend? Hell no. Even as a dude, I have to admit that Vlad is an attractive guy. There's no way... My suspicion must be written on my face because Vlad scowls and stops my train of thought.
"Easy boy. It's probably not what you're thinking of. I mean... ew. No offence, but I'm not one to exchange bodily fluids... with anyone." He makes another disgusted face at the thought before continuing. "I don't know how much Bianca's told you but... we used to be partners." I release a breath I didn't know I was holding at his confirmation that they were strictly platonic, although I mentally chastise myself for even caring.
"In...?" I ask and he shakes a finger at me.
"You know exactly in what." No incriminating evidence. I chuckle but let him have his way.
"Then I guess you also know she's a sociopath." I carefully add, watching closely his body language.
"Of course." He readily agrees, popping another piece of gum into his mouth. "That's why we were partnered in the first place. You see, we share a similar affliction, Bianca and I. But my case... is a little more volatile." He casually says. "Our temperaments were opposite, but complementary. And we worked perfectly together."
"What was she, fifteen, sixteen? How can someone that young do that?"
He drums his fingers on the surface of the desk. One glaring thing about Vlad is that he can't seem to stay still.
"Did she tell you about her nanny?" He asks and I nod.
"Then you realize it's not too young. By that time she'd already had years of training. I'll be honest, I've never seen anyone with a better aim than B, only when she's not coked up though." His use of her nickname grates me, but I have to admit that he knows things about her I don't. I can't deny that they have a special bond.
"How long has she been using?" I ask what has been on my mind for days now.
"Honestly... I don't know. it's not her first rodeo with coke though. She's had on and off periods with it, but she’s never truly been off it, I think."
"Why though? What would prompt her to do this... any of this?" I ask, almost exasperated.
"She's not normal, Hastings. She's not and never will be. You have to come to terms with this if you want to be with her." I want to correct him and tell him we're already over, but I let him continue. "For people like us, it's hard to conform to normality. To social norms. We just need a trigger and off we go. Hers was the nanny. Drugs... let's just say they help us be less apathetic. When all you know is a sea of nothingness, you'd do anything to cause a little wave."
"So that's how you're justifying her being an addict?" I ask, shaking my head at his logic. "By that logic, you should be one too."
His eyes are on that pendulum again.
"We all have different drugs. Mine just doesn't happen to be an illicit substance." He doesn't elaborate on that.
I sit still for a moment, digesting what Vlad's saying. But I still can't help myself. I want to understand. Hell...
"How can I even contemplate being with a person that manipulated and lied to me? She isn't capable of empathy, of love."
"Is she not?" He asks, his eyebrow raised. "Don't get me wrong. I'm not sure she's capable of those things either. But I've known her long enough to see how irregular her behavior is towards you. For someone who kills in cold blood, the instinct to pro
tect is entirely antithetic. And yet, all she's ever done has been to protect you."
"What about you then? If you say you don't feel either, why are you helping her?"
Vlad chuckles, shoving yet another piece of gum in his mouth.
"I am governed by a very simple rule of retribution, or an eye for an eye. The only difference is that I pay back those who help me in kind too. Bianca... she may not be normal, but she is the most loyal person you could ever find. Don't let other inconsequential things detract from that."
"You call murder inconsequential?" I add sarcastically.
"In the grand scheme of things? Yes. And if you knew who those she dispatched were, you would see that the world is a better place without them. One thing I can promise you, though, is that she's never, ever, hurt an innocent person."
I think on that and reply. "I think we can agree to disagree."
"I'm disappointed, Hastings. I wouldn't have taken you for a narrow-minded type of fellow."
"Again, I wouldn't call disapproving of murder narrow minded."
"And yet your past says otherwise." I freeze. What does he know?
"What do you mean?"
"You know exactly what I mean." Slowly his mouth curls upwards. "But alas, I cannot make your decisions for you." He stands up and I can see I am being dismissed. "You should know though; she's doing the detox for you."
"She should do it for herself not for me." I stand up as well, ready to go.
"It's up to you." Vlad shrugs and says with finality. "I thought you could use a different perspective. My job here is done."
"Just... take care of her."
"Always." He gives me another charming smile before seeing me off.
CHAPTER XXVIII
"You're finally awake." I open my eyes to see Vlad staring down at me, his face expressionless.
"How do you feel?" He asks, going to the bathroom and bringing me a wet towel. I take it and start wiping my face, feeling the sweat cling to my skin.
"Much better. How long was I out?" He looks at his watch.
Morally Corrupt: A Dark Romance (Morally Questionable Book 1) Page 16
