“It’s something, all right,” I told him.
How many times in how many lives had I crossed the Mississippi? How many times had I swum through it, or passed under it, in my travels through the world?
And yet, this latest crossing felt like the first to me. The river dazzled me as if I’d never seen it before, as if I’d never experienced its beauty and grandeur in any of my lives.
It was as if I were a child, and the simple wonder of the moment overtook me. It was as if, for that brief time, wonder and joy were all that mattered.
“I can compliment you, can’t I?” asked Ebon. “Like, ‘nice job with the water feature,’ right?”
I heard him, but I didn’t answer. The smell of the river overwhelmed me, the smell of dirty water tinged with metal and fish. Something about it stirred distant memories, made me want to submerge.
“Let’s just hope you-know-who doesn’t catch us on the radar,” said Ebon. “My blocking techniques don’t always work so well around water. There’s something about the reflectivity that cuts through my blurring ability.”
I knew I should be worried, but I just kept looking out the window, admiring the river. Far below, boats drifted in both directions, crossing paths mid-river. Canada geese swooped up from the water, even as a brown-winged hawk shot down to scoop up its fishy prey among the waves.
“Maybe you should try again to see if you can sense her,” said Ebon. “Sense if the Earth’s about to attack. Maybe you still have an echo of your connection.”
I waited a moment, then shook my head. “Nothing.” But the truth was, I hadn’t even tried. On the off chance that I could have somehow restored my past link to the Earth, why would I want to?
“I never knew this river could be so beautiful.” I said it to myself, for my own benefit, just as three gleaming fish leaped out of the water and splashed back down again.
Why would I want to spoil a perfectly good childhood like this?
Chapter 12
We drove deep into Iowa that day, cutting across the state from Davenport to Des Moines and as far west as the state would take us. By the time we pulled in at the rundown old Star Brite Mo-Tel outside of Sioux City, it was long past sundown—half past eleven o’clock.
At which point I was totally dead on my feet. I hadn’t slept much in the car; I’d been too captivated by the scenery of the wide-open Midwestern plains.
“It’s just a bunch of cornfields,” Ebon had said.
“I know.” The novelty of seeing the world without being plugged into it still hadn’t worn off for me. “Cool, huh?”
But as soon as Mid got the key to our shared room, I wanted only to pass out on my bed. It had been one of the longest days of my life, to say the least.
Unfortunately, she kept running her mouth to Ebon and me in the parking lot. “I’m not picking up anything to suggest an attack is imminent.” She raised her hands in front of her, closed her eyes, and turned in a slow circle. “But as we know, I’m not as sensitive as I once was.”
“Seems like a safe location to me,” said Ebon. “As safe as they come, anyway. There’s an old Superfund hazardous waste cleanup site within a half-mile of this place. That’ll put out plenty of static, and I’m adding to the interference.”
Mid nodded. “First sign of trouble, raise the alarm, and we run.”
“Fight and run, you mean,” said Ebon.
“Sure, why the hell not?” Mid shrugged. “Then we get an early start and hit the road again. We’ve got a few more hours to get where we’re going.”
“Which is?” I asked through a yawn…the latest of many.
“South Dakota.” Mid pointed away from the motel, into the darkness. “Thataway.”
“Could you be more specific?” I said.
Ebon nodded. “Have you ever been to Mount Rushmore?”
“Kind of,” I told him. “My energy form passed through it along a ley line conduit once or twice.”
“Doesn’t count,” said Mid.
“And you won’t get there this time, either, sorry to say.” Ebon smirked and socked my upper arm. “Because that is not where we’re going.”
“Then where? Just tell me.”
“Figure it out,” said Ebon. “There aren’t that many notable sites in South Dakota, after all.”
With a chuckle, he marched past me and headed for his room, which was right next-door to ours. He spun the motel key ring on an index finger as he walked, then jammed the key into the front door lock and gave it a twist. On his way inside, he gave us a jaunty wave.
“Whatever.” I reached out toward Mid, feeling ready to pass out. “Give me the key. I’m exhausted.”
“Hold on,” said Mid. “There’s something we need to talk about first.”
“Tell me in the morning.” I couldn’t remember ever being so tired in my life. Maybe being an avatar had given me a tolerance to lack of sleep that normal folks didn’t have. Now that the avatar aspect was gone, I craved rest like a natural-born human.
I turned to shuffle toward the room…and the parking lot surface pushed up in front of me, thrusting a ridge of jagged asphalt in my path.
Looking back, I saw Mid with both hands outstretched, shaking. A pulsing golden light surrounded her, flashing with sparks like little moths off a bug zapper.
I almost laughed, almost asked if the low ridge of asphalt was the best she could do…but I didn’t. At least she had some power left, which was more than I could say.
“Gaia.” She walked over to me. “How easy do you think it is to lie to Mother Earth or her avatar?”
I shrugged. “Pretty damn easy, apparently. I’ve been lied to all my life.”
Mid shook her head. “Imagine keeping secrets from an entire planet. From the very world you live on. It would take vast power, wouldn’t it?”
“Maybe.” I frowned, wondering what she was getting at.
“It would take a conspiracy,” said Mid. “And such a thing would not be easily exposed, would it? Especially when the actual planet has disengaged from her avatar and is on a serious warpath against anyone who disagrees with her mission.”
“Sounds about right,” I said. “Now, why are you telling me this?”
“Tomorrow, we are going to see someone and ask for their help,” explained Mid. “From her point of view, we might represent great danger. I expect her to react as if she’s under attack. I expect her to fight as if her life depends on it.”
“I still don’t…”
“And none of us is necessarily ready for that fight,” said Mid. “You need to know that going in. You need to prepare for the worst.”
“How can I prepare if I don’t even know what we’re trying to accomplish?”
“By reaching deep inside and finding the part of you that is capable,” said Mid. “Capable of anything, if that’s what it takes.”
I shook my head. “That part doesn’t exist. I’m not who you think I am.”
She stepped forward and jabbed me in the chest with one bony finger. “It’s exactly who you are. If you look hard enough, you’ll see it.”
I couldn’t stop the next yawn from coming. “May I please just go to bed? I can barely…”
Without warning, she grabbed the front of my shirt and yanked me down to face her. “Your twin was not the only war-self to walk the Earth.”
Then, she gave me one last shake, let go of my shirt, and stomped off toward the room. I followed, my mind starting to churn in spite of my utter physical exhaustion.
I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, but it was still a restless night for me. I slipped in and out of awareness, fully formed thoughts jumping into my head, then popping like soap bubbles as I slipped under again.
Sometimes, I drifted into dreams in which I was very present, interacting with my friends back home in Confluence. I dreamt of Duke and Luna and Nephelae and Ashanti, all living together in my office. I dreamt of making love to Sheriff Briar, sometimes on a beach by the ocean, though we had neve
r been there together before.
Then, there were the strange and distant dreams I barely remember, the ones full of faces and things I couldn’t identify. They must have come from past lives, I thought, handed down from one avatar to the next, devoid now of any recognizable form or context. In some of them, there weren’t even people or anything I’d think of as life or its common interactions; they left me with weird feelings that lingered long after I rose from the arcane, abstract depths.
Once, those unknown depths even left me with no memory of who I was. Floating up out of them, I opened my eyes, staring at the ceiling—and completely forgot everything about myself. I lay there, blank as a fresh diary, unable even to come up with my name…utterly terrified at the emptiness.
It was as if I’d been somehow reset or restored to factory settings, wiping out everything I knew. All my joys were gone, all the moments that had made up the short life I’d lived…and all the worries, too.
What if it were permanent? What if I never regained my memory and had to go through life like that, a complete cypher, starting over?
The truth was, though, that part of me welcomed it. Part of me was glad for the forgiveness that came with forgetting and for the shirking of whatever responsibilities had troubled me before everything went blank.
But then, it all came back in one huge, onrushing wave. Suddenly and without explanation, I knew who I was again, and where I’d come from, and what had happened. All the fearful possibilities of tomorrow crashed in upon me, and the weight of what I’d been told was my burden to bear.
The burden of saving humanity from being wiped out, though I had no idea how that was remotely possible without my powers and team of supporters back home.
So much for a good night’s sleep.
Chapter 13
The morning was scorching as we drove up into South Dakota. Though heat like that had never bothered me before, when my powers and planetary link were running fine, it kicked my ass now. It was especially bad any time we stopped, and the wind ceased to flow through the cruiser’s windows. Those were the times when I’d just sweat under the blazing sun, wishing for a cool body of water to jump into.
I also wished that Ebon would just switch on the damn air conditioning in the car. Unlike me, he had a high tolerance for heat and preferred it to lower temperatures. Not to mention, he claimed the A/C negatively impacted his car’s performance and fuel economy. He actually had it disabled, so just switching it on wasn’t even an option.
It was things like that that made me wish I could have my powers back, even if it was just for a moment…just long enough to knock some earthly sense into him.
“I finally figured out what you are,” I told him. “What your super-power is.”
“Tell me,” he said. “This oughtta be good.”
“You’re a colossal pain in the ass,” I told him. “In my ass.”
“I won’t deny it.” Ebon chuckled. “But that’s not the only thing that’s special about me.”
By the time we got to Badlands National Park, five and a half hours out from Sioux City, I didn’t care if I never saw that cruiser, or its driver, again. Looking back, I saw the Corolla behind us with the windows rolled up—presumably, because the A/C was running. Mid looked perfectly cool at the wheel, even giving me a little wave of acknowledgement. For the umpteenth time, I wished I’d ridden with her that morning.
But I’d liked Ebon so much at first. How could I have misjudged him so badly?
“This is it,” he said after paying the park fee to the ranger at the gate and rolling through to wait for Mid. “First stop, the Badlands.”
Looking around at the dry, dusty ground and low scrub, I tried to remember if I’d been there before. The place seemed familiar…but no, it didn’t ring any bells. It was still possible I’d passed through as an immaterial form on my way to somewhere else, but I couldn’t be sure and maybe never would.
“This is one of my favorite places in the world,” said Ebon as Mid caught up and we started rolling again. “You thought you saw some scenic sights yesterday? Today will totally blow your mind.”
“Cool.” I was too busy thinking about what Mid had said was in store for us in the Badlands to say more than that. Whoever awaited and whatever they’d do, my fear meter was cranked up to eleven. Mid had set out last night to get me worried…and she’d accomplished her mission with ease.
“So, where exactly are we going?” I asked. “Do you even know?”
Just then, Ebon pulled to one side, and Mid zipped past, taking the lead position in our convoy.
“There’s your answer,” he said. “The one with the best radar will get us where we need to go.”
As we continued in her wake, the park opened up before us…and I was awestruck. Whatever experience I might have had passing through there in a noncorporeal form before, it could not have prepared me for the experience of seeing the place in person.
Like the skyline of a city, an array of rugged peaks and spires spanned the horizon under sapphire skies. In the bright morning sunlight, distinct layers of different colored rock were visible, bands of gray, rust, and brown stretching through the magnificent sprawl.
On the way to that skyline, humps and ridges of banded rock straddled the green plain, islands of gray and red and yellow afloat as if upon a calm, flat sea. In either direction along the rough-cut shield wall ahead, those ridges, rises, and buttes marched off into the distance, a seemingly endless atoll cresting the world.
When we followed the road further, it carried us into the towering skyline, filtering us between foothills and outcroppings with the same layered structure. Domes and declivities appeared along the road—then kingdoms of fairy-tale steeples and minarets that looked as if they’d been dripped out of candle wax.
We finally pulled off in the shelter of a stone canopy, its pale gray shell shaped by the wind in a smooth bowl. It was open at both ends for the passage of vehicles, and three windows were cut in the stone at scattered points—only one of them near the ground, and that fifteen feet up along the bell of the canopy.
I was breathless as I got out of the cruiser and looked around, taking in the natural wonder that sheltered us. Once again, cut off from my link with the Earth, I felt more overwhelmed than ever by the staggering beauty around me—more like a child enraptured by what to her is fathomless, magical grandeur, not just the product of natural elements and physical forces.
“Stay close,” said Ebon as he got out of the car. “We don’t know for sure how this will go.”
“Sure we do.” Mid approached us from the Corolla. “My money’s on it being a total cluster…”
A loud rumbling under the canopy cut her off. The three of us stood together, looking around, as the ground shook under our feet.
The quake intensified fast, nearly knocking me over…but Ebon caught my arm and kept me upright. His gaze met mine briefly, and I thought I glimpsed genuine concern in those warm, dark eyes.
As for Mid, she seemed the steadiest of us all, completely unfazed. She closed her eyes and spread her arms wide, speaking loud enough to be heard over the rumbling. “Lady of the Badlands, hear us. We come only in peace to discuss matters of great import.”
As if in reply, the ground shook harder. A spike of gray-and-rust banded stone thrust out of the sand not three yards away from where Mid was standing.
Still, she seemed unbothered. “White Buffalo Calf Woman, we humbly ask your forgiveness for disrupting the wilderness of your domain with our concerns. If there were any other way, we would not have interrupted your blessed slumber.”
Another spike punched up from the ground nearby, then another. I heard a cracking sound overhead and looked up in time to see a spike extrude and snap off from the canopy, plunging downward. It missed us all by a few yards, but the message was clear.
The Lady of the Badlands could kill us at any moment.
Heart pounding, I was seized by the impulse to jump in the car or just run as far as I co
uld. It’s funny how, when you don’t have powers, you soon start to think like an average human being.
But I fought back the urge and stood my ground alongside Ebon and Mid. It wasn’t like the Lady’s reaction was a surprise, after all; Mid had warned me the night before that things could go like this.
Maybe Ebon saw the stirrings of panic in my eyes, because he dropped a hand on my shoulder. “We’ll be fine.” His voice didn’t sound as reassuring as perhaps he’d intended. “And it could be worse. At least Big Mama Earth isn’t the one bringing down the hammer.”
As he said it, more rocky spikes shot out of the ground, surrounding us. Their points were aimed right at us; I could imagine what kind of damage they’d do if they shot up close enough to catch our soft parts.
Meanwhile, Mid’s voice grew louder. “Please, Lady! We ask for an audience, not a fight! The matter we want to discuss is of grave importance to us all…and all of humanity, as well!”
Cracks opened in the ground, widening as they ripped toward us. Dust and fragments rained down from the canopy, followed by showers of dartlike spikes. Holes blew open, ejecting hunks of rock like cannonballs that blasted the Corolla, smashing the windows and pummeling the car’s metal body as if it were tinfoil.
The skeletal bison came next, wrenching up from the ground one after another. There were three, then five, then seven, all enormous, at least twice the size of any bison or buffalo I’d ever seen. They tossed their great horned heads with restless vehemence and pawed the earth with their hooves, backs arched.
More rose up with each passing minute, clambering out of ancient, dusty tombs. When they got around to charging, I couldn’t see how we could possibly survive that monstrous rank.
Another volley of cannonball rocks pounded the Corolla, obliterating every glass surface and leaving the doors, roof, and hoods a crumpled wreck. Again, spikes surged out of the ground, and debris showered down from above.
Two bison launched themselves across the ruined ground, horns forward, aiming right at the little old lady calling out to their mistress.
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