by Nana Malone
“Hi.”
His gaze swept in on my frame, those ice blue eyes growing darker. “Jesus, you look amazing.”
I grinned. “Thank you. You brought me flowers?”
“Yeah. I remembered these were your favorite.”
I frowned at that. Had I told him that? Then I remembered as we’d walked to the restaurant on one of our dates, I’d mentioned my mother always had lilacs when I was growing up.
The sting behind my eyes surprised me, and I said, “Oh wow, that’s so sweet of you.”
“One of these days, you’re going to stop calling me sweet.”
My brain remembered that he wasn’t sweet at all. The way he’d kissed me a few days earlier was like a man who knew how to possess me heart and soul. “You know that’s not a bad thing, right?”
“I thought women like men with a little more edge.”
She shook her head. “No. Not all women.” Lies. You like his edge.
“Right.”
“Let me get these in a vase and then we can go.”
Before walking outside, Marcus took my hand, pulling me to him. “I’m going to go crazy if I don’t do this first.”
The kiss was quick, hot, and made my knees buckle inside of three seconds. When he pulled back, all I could do was attempt to bring my sanity back online.
Outside of the flat, Marcus led me toward a sleek black sportscar and opened the door for me. I frowned. “Is this you?”
He laughed. “Yes, it is. Normally when we have a date, we walk or we meet somewhere. But I wanted this to be a real date, so I’m trying to make a good impression.”
The leather interior still had that new-car smell. “You must rarely drive this thing.”
“You’re right. I work primarily from home, so I don’t get to use it often. But I do love it.”
“I never would have figured you for a gearhead.”
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Lyra Wilkinson.”
“Maybe I’ll find out more.”
“Here’s hoping you do.”
The drive downtown wasn’t a particularly long one, but I was glad I had my jacket to keep me from freezing in the T-shirt I’d worn. His gaze slid over me as I put on my seat belt. “You think you’ll be warm enough? I can put the top up.”
“No, I think I’ll be fine.” The air whipped around us as we started to drive, and I knew my curls would probably be tangled beyond measure, but I loved the freedom of the wind blowing and I didn’t want it to stop. His gaze swept over me one more time, and I laughed as I pulled my hair back. “This is perfect.”
“Good. I want you to have fun.”
And I was. With him looking at me like this and the wind blowing, I could almost believe this was real. That this was a feeling I could keep.
* * *
Lyra
The Bacchanal was eighteen and over because some of the images in the special exhibit contained nudity. But mostly, it was wholesome and fun. We came upon a particular image that was really stunning. He was holding my hand when we saw it, and all I could do was stand and stare. Marcus stopped as well and grinned.
I couldn’t help the wistful sigh that came out. “Oh my God, that’s a beautiful photo.”
“Yes, yes, it is.”
His hand was firm and warm, and we laughed and chuckled as he talked to me about the photos and paintings that particularly caught our attention. He also talked about his workday coding games and told me stories about his family and his nephew, and I couldn’t help but see bits and pieces of him falling into place.
The more I saw, the more I wanted him. He had no idea that his voice, his mere presence even, were like a tease to me. Like a caress that I never wanted to stop.
Oh, you’ve got it bad.
The Bacchanal was a feast for the eyes. They decorated the desert to the east to look just like Venice. I’d heard from the planning committees that they’d even created canals. It was like we’d suddenly been transported into the 16th century. There were people in masquerade costumes and others who were dressed like us. Everywhere we looked there was light and color and couples and groups laughing and talking and dancing.
My favorite part was that there were also fair games. So many of them. They’d also set up a Ferris wheel and what looked like maybe a tilt-a-whirl. And then there were the exhibits. Interesting sculptures all around, depicting people in wild positions. There were also many pop-up galleries featuring up-and-coming painters and photographers. What I loved was that the work was priced anywhere from five dollars to fifty thousand dollars. It was the true spirit of art.
Marcus held my hand easily. And even though I kept my eyes peeled, I could relax until ten o’clock, as that was the time of the meeting between Stannis and the arms broker. But for the next hour and a half, I could be free.
We people-watched as we walked and talked. At one point, as he watched a couple in front of us start making out, Marcus chuckled and said. “They have the right idea.”
The couple in front of us could barely keep their hands off each other. At one point the guy dragged his girlfriend into the darkness, and they started making out like a couple of teenagers.
But instead of Marcus following their lead, he just looped an arm around my shoulder and held me tight as we walked, sharing our cotton candy. “So, are you going to tell me about that guy?”
I frowned. “What guy?”
“Your ex. The one I met when I walked you to work. How long were you guys a thing?”
When in doubt, it is better to let your lie mirror the truth. “Only about four months. It was one of those things that was supposed to be temporary, but I didn’t know.”
“What does that mean?”
“Just that I was young and impressionable and didn’t know any better. Didn’t recognize all the signs of someone who was only using me for sex. One day he decided that he’d had enough and kicked me to the curb. I did not take it well.”
“Shit, Lyra. I’m sorry. He’s a dick.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh, I know.”
“And what, you haven’t been with anyone else since?”
How was I supposed to explain to him that when you worked for a secret government organization there wasn’t really a lot of time for dating? “Nothing serious. What about you?”
He hesitated and pulled off a piece of cotton candy before plopping it in his mouth and leading me over to the fountains. Then he took a seat and pulled me into his lap on top of him. “I was engaged once.”
I held myself perfectly still, waiting for the pain of the words to sink in. “Oh. For how long?”
“Three years. She died.”
Damn it. The jealousy had been burrowing under my skin and trying to take root. But how could you be jealous of a woman who was gone? One that he clearly missed. “I’m so sorry, Marcus. How did it happen?”
“It was an accident. But I kind of see that I’ve been holding myself back ever since. Living a partial existence. But then I met you, and everything seemed normal. Something about you makes me want to open up. Be different.”
I studied him. “You haven’t been in love with anyone else since she died?”
He shook his head slowly. “No. Apparently, it took someone running after a mugger and attacking him with her shoes to get my attention. I know it sounds ridiculous, but watching you that night, it was the first time I’d felt alive in a while.”
“Are you sure that’s not just the adrenaline talking?”
“I’m sure. The point is that you’re so different than what I thought I needed or wanted. But I like you. And you are 100% under my skin.”
I flushed with warmth. I wanted him. I was also terrified. What if I got this wrong? “I lied, Marcus.”
He gave me his fake shocked face, mouth hanging open and hand on his chest. “You don’t say. What about, pray tell?”
I narrowed my gaze at him. He was going to make me use the words and say it out loud.
Maybe it’s importan
t that we hear them.
“I don’t want to be your friend. I want to be more than your friend, and it scares the shit out of me.”
That was probably the most honest thing I’d ever said to him, and as a result, I couldn’t look him in the eyes for fear of what I would see in those icy blue depths.
But then he put a finger under my chin and lifted so I would have to meet his gaze. “You don’t have to be scared. I’m not going to let anything hurt you.”
I knew where this was going, into those feelings that I didn’t want to examine too closely, so I cleared my throat and said, “Do you want to go on one of the rides?”
He grinned at me. “It depends on what you mean by ride.”
I couldn’t help it. All I could do was blink. And then I heard this low rumbling laugh that I realized was his. And as he laughed, dimples peeked out. Holy hell, he had dimples. Why had I never noticed before?
He said, “Oh my God, you should see your face.”
“Don’t tease me.”
“Sweetheart, I haven’t even started yet. Besides, what the hell do you think you’re doing to me with that outfit?”
“I am merely enticing.”
“If you say so. Come on. To the Ferris wheel?”
“Yes, please.”
To our left, revelers were climbing on a makeshift gondola designed to take them on a little canal around the party area. I tried not to think about the amount of water that was being wasted, but I remembered that the event planners insisted the water would be put to good use, post revelry.
As Marcus’s thumb stroked my hand, he asked, “After this, do you want to check out the main gallery? The artist… What’s her name?”
“Nicola Wessex. I don’t know a lot of her work, but I know she tries to push the boundaries of sexual conventions. Should be interesting at least.”
* * *
Lyra
We climbed into the swinging car that had come to a stop in front of us.
I didn’t realize at first that there were little monitors banked in the front of the Ferris wheel right below the bars where they locked us in.
I slid in first, then Marcus followed. Once we were locked in and started moving, the screen turned on. What we saw had my eyes growing wide and my palms going damp. A couple appeared on screen. The setting was the rooftop of some fabulous place somewhere. Fancy, with an infinity pool and a gorgeous city in the distance. You could also see the ocean in the distance with the clear azure water that could have been the Mediterranean or the Caribbean.
And then the couple on screen started kissing, and it wasn’t long before their clothes started to come off.
My mouth fell open, and Marcus chuckled. “Well, I see they’re taking the theme quite far.”
I kept glancing down at Marcus’s hand on my thigh, then my gaze would flick to the screen and back to his hand and back again. If this ride was twenty minutes long like the video display indicated, I was doomed. There was no way I would be able to survive. As it was, one little kiss from him and I was ready to jump out of my skin. Twenty minutes in this kind of close proximity with porn playing in front of us, and I knew spontaneous combustion could be a real thing. On the screen, I noticed the guy was surprisingly handsome for a porn guy. Not that I’d seen lots of porn guys.
Who are you kidding? Of course you have.
I squirmed in my seat. Marcus started to shift next to me as well. I wanted to look anywhere but at the screen or at him.
When he spoke, his voice was all gravel and cement. “Some fair warning would have been nice.”
I shifted in place. “We don’t have to watch. I wish we could turn it off or talk or something.”
He chuckled. “Somehow, I can’t think of anything to say. Except, bloody hell, is he flexible or what?”
A giggle burst out of my lips. “Oh my God. Yes, that’s unnatural, right?”
It felt good to laugh. To both acknowledge the discomfort and the sheer corniness and continue to make jokes.
“I didn’t know this was the porn Ferris wheel.”
“Honestly, they undersold this event. I would have come for the porn Ferris wheel alone.”
I snorted.
“Was that a snort?”
More heat crept up my neck. “No. I did not just snort, I swear.” But the more I laughed, the more snorts came out of me. “Oh my God, this is the strangest date I’ve ever been on.”
“And just so we’re clear, I think you’re smart and your snorts are cute. Also, I don’t need the porn. I was plenty turned on from the moment you opened the door. It’s just that the porn is making it impossible to think about anything else.”
On the screen, the man was kissing the woman’s neck. His hands covered her breasts, his thumbs rubbing her nipples.
I squeezed my thighs together.
Why was this happening to me?
Because you need to live a little. You can’t go anywhere for twenty minutes. Your team doesn’t arrive for thirty. Have some fun.
“I’ll say it again. This is the most bizarre date I’ve ever been on.”
“I know, but I’m just going to do what I’ve been thinking about doing all night anyway.” His hand slid up my thigh, and involuntarily, my thighs parted, granting him the access I desperately wanted him to have.
“I’m not sure this is the best idea.”
“You tell me to stop, and I will.”
I knew the right thing was to tell him to stop. To try and get some semblance of control back over this situation, this relationship, and my feelings for him, but I didn’t want control for once in my life. Control was safe, and I knew what to do with control. But with Marcus, I felt like I was hurtling through the sky with no parachute but somehow confident that he would catch me in the end, which was ridiculous.
There’s no one there to catch you.
I’d had enough shit in my life to know that. But I wanted to believe it could be true.
Here we were, with Marcus’s hand on my thigh and my core pulsing with need, and all I wanted him to do was slide his hand up higher and feel how wet I was. My gaze flickered to his lips.
His groan was so low it was almost a growl. “Lyra, you are killing me right now. Tell me what you want. Tell me and I’ll do it, anything you ask.”
“Kiss me.”
Because when he kissed me, I couldn’t think of anything else. I couldn’t think of all the reasons why I shouldn’t be with him, why it was safer to stay away from him. I couldn’t think of what the right thing to do was when I was with him and he had his tongue in my mouth and his hands on my hips, and he was grinding against me and making me feel like a real person.
Like I was allowed to live, allowed to breathe for once.
I loved everything about that feeling. It was addiction personified. I loved it that he saw me. Even if just in glimpses. I wanted him to see all of me.
I wanted to capture that feeling and bottle it. Never let it go.
We had twenty minutes on this Ferris wheel. Twenty minutes where I could just be Lyra and he could just be Marcus. I was going to enjoy every second of it.
I nodded to let him know this was what I wanted, his hands on me, his tongue licking into my mouth, teasing my tongue into playing. Marcus Black made me feel things. He brought to the surface all those emotions that I kept locked up so tightly. He had the key, and he knew how to use it. And for once, that didn’t terrify me.
His kiss was surprisingly soft. First a whisper, then a caress, then a slow seductive slide. His tongue licked into my mouth, caressing, teasing, cajoling. His hand slid into my hair, twisting into my curls, and I felt both possessed and cherished. And neither one of those feelings were what I was accustomed to. As we kissed, my hips lifted slightly.
“Tell me what you need, Lyra.”
“I need you to touch me.”
“Bloody brilliant.”
He went back to kissing me, but he didn’t move his hand, so I raised my hips to encourage him. Which only made
him chuckle as he whispered, “Stop being so impatient. I’ll get there.”
Oh, I had no doubt. But first, he was going to take his time and kiss me like we had all the time in the world.
He whispered against my lips. “That’s it, love, open your thighs wider for me.”
I dragged in a shuddering breath. All I could do was nod because words would have led to begging.
His hand slid up my thigh, and his knuckles gently brushed over my sex. When he made contact, he dragged his lips from mine and kissed along my jaw as he said, “I’ve been dying to know what you felt like. It’s like you’ve taken over my mind. There was a time when I was able to do other things, to focus on other things, but you’ve made that impossible.”
He was close. So close. Just a little higher.
His knuckles grazed over my sex again, and I could hear him swallow audibly. “Oh fuck, Lyra.”
“Marcus, please. Please, just touch me.”
“Oh my God, you are so wet.”
One of his long fingers hooked under the elastic of my panties, stroked over my clit, and sank deep. Both of us groaned. I clutched onto his shoulders and moaned, “Marcus, oh God.”
“I know. I know. I’m barely even touching you, and I’m so ready to bloody blow.”
Ever so gently, he made love to me with his hand. His finger sliding in and out as his thumb gave me butterfly kisses over my clit. When the pace picked up, he dragged his lips back to mine, his tongue mimicking the actions of his fingers, fucking my mouth and making me crazy. The tension coiling inside me was ready to blow.
His finger slid and retreated, slid and retreated, his thumb casting its own spell over me, drugging me slowly with his strokes and his words. Mostly hushed murmurs of need, want, God, Lyra.
As I gripped his shoulders, I could feel the quaking need snaking over my body. That tightly coiled tension I held inside me at all times breaking apart.
Marcus pulled back, touching his forehead to mine, his gaze locking, never letting me go. “Let me see it, Lyra. I want to watch you be free.”
And then I let him see. A massive shudder wracked my body. With a muffled scream into his neck, my body tightened and convulsed around his fingers as he buried them deep within me.
