And he wanted all of Taylor Hunt, not just her body. He wanted her heart, her laughter, her smiles… As he watched her rummage through the bag he’d packed for her earlier that day, he finally realized that this wasn’t just some simple crush.
He had it bad for this strange new woman who refused to believe him when he told her she was beautiful, who wouldn’t stand back and let him take care of her but insisted on taking care of things right alongside of him.
Were his feelings for her enough to justify letting her fully into his life? Was she worth the risk to his schedule, to his heart, to his cat’s spot on the bed?
“Goodnight, Mr. Nature Guy,” she said, patting him on the shoulder before crawling through the opening of their tent and zipping it up behind her.
The answer was a trembling, terrified, emphatic yes. He didn’t know if things between them would come smoothly and naturally or if they’d be more like that clumsy moose who upset their campsite.
But he knew he needed the chance to find out.
Taylor awoke the next morning, surprised to find she had slept easily through the night. She’d suffered insomnia ever since high school, often waking up several times in the night to tend to whatever anxious thoughts were weighing on her mind.
This morning, though, she’d slept well and felt calm. Taylor never felt calm.
Noah still lay sleeping beside her in the cramped tent meant for one. Their bodies had shifted into each other during the night and rather than lying back to back as they’d started out, one of his arms lay draped over her waist. The other was snuggled under her neck, completing their embrace.
She sucked a slow breath in, trying not to disturb Noah as she attempted to make sense of what this all meant. They’d slept in cramped quarters in a popup tent on the ground, and yet she felt as if she’d spent the whole night wrapped in a cloud.
Was she just tired from the big day they’d had or…?
Even finishing that thought scared her.
And why? Why was it this man who had crept stealthily into her heart? She liked Noah a lot—she couldn’t deny that any longer—but what made him so danged special?
Why was he worth considering a change to her entire life? To abandoning her no dating, not ever, policy?
She didn’t have the answers and somehow doubted she ever would. Perhaps sometimes two people just worked together, just clicked into place like a big spoon and a little spoon nestled snugly in a drawer… or in a tent meant for one.
For a moment, she allowed herself to snuggle into the still sleeping Noah’s embrace. She breathed in the scent of him, which was both woodsy and clean. She wondered how different her life would be if she woke up every morning like this, refreshed from a perfect night of sleep, luxuriating in the arms of the man she lo—
Oh, shoot.
This was not part of the plan. And people made plans for a reason. You were supposed to follow through, not abandon them the moment it got hard. She needed some distance and fresh air to help her think.
Even though she tried her best not to wake Noah as she shifted toward the tent’s exit, he roused the moment she was out of his arms.
“Good morning, beautiful Taylor,” he said, a contented smile on his face, his eyes still closed shut.
No, no, no. This was way too domestic, way too unTaylor.
Then why did it feel so right?
And why was she so confused about it all? Taylor had often felt anxious but was rarely ever confused.
Noah was like a question mark and an exclamation point both rolled into one. What she needed was a period. Closure. A return to the plan. The farther she crept from his arms, the more she felt in control again.
“Is something wrong?” he asked, sitting up and placing a hand on her shoulder.
“I’m just not feeling very well,” she said, realizing it was only half a lie. “Can we go home?”
“Of course. We can pack up and leave as soon as we’ve had our breakfast.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, feeling like the worst person in the world for leading him on, letting him down—and letting herself down, too.
“You stay here and try to rest. I’ll get breakfast ready.” And before she could argue, Noah had left to prepare another campsite meal for the two of them to share.
As she lay in the tent alone, her brain made up for lost time. All the thoughts that had been missing from her nightly anxiety reel now sped through her head so fast they broke the sound barrier.
So many questions, and the only answer that made any sense was the wrong one.
No to Noah. No to love.
Yes to duty. Yes to the plan.
A short while later, he called her out and handed her a mug with hot cocoa and a plate with eggs and toast. “It should be easy on your stomach,” he explained. “Is that what hurts?”
She nodded glumly, attempting to hide her face behind the rim of her mug. Her stomach was filled with both butterflies and dread—definitely not a winning combination.
“I hope it wasn’t the fish,” he said with a frown, bringing his mug up to take a long, slow sip of the hot liquid inside. She needed to pull away now to avoid hurting him, yet it seemed she already had. Hurt him, that was—and she hated it. Maybe it would be best to just be upfront.
She swallowed hard before saying, “No, Noah. It was great. You’re great, but…”
“Oh, I see.”
She tried to smile, but couldn’t force it, given the circumstances. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize to me, but I do think you owe it to yourself.”
She didn’t know what to say to that, so she said nothing.
“What are you so afraid of?”
“I’m not afraid,” she answered flatly.
“You weren’t afraid of that crazy moose, but you’re afraid of this.” He turned to her and grabbed each of her shoulders, staring into her eyes as he spoke. “You were afraid of the plane, but you got on it anyway and let it take you where you needed to go. So, why are you afraid of us?”
She still didn’t say anything. What could she say? He was absolutely right.
“It’s like there are two Taylors, and you’ve shown me glimpses of the real one, but then you pull back and hide her again under this… this mask. It’s the real Taylor that I want to spend time with, and it’s the real Taylor who wants me, too.”
Noah kept one hand on her shoulder and lifted the other up to tug at her hair tie. As he pulled his hand away, her dark waves cascaded over her shoulders, loose and free. So unlike her normal high and tight ponytail. So unlike her normal composure and control.
“What are you doing?” she whispered, feeling both like she was under scrutiny and that she was finally able to relax and let herself go.
“I’m trying to show you how beautiful you are. The real you,” Noah murmured, drawing her eyes to his soft mouth.
She shook her head. “I’m not beautiful.”
His lips began to move again, but whatever words he had planned for her never made it out. Without thinking—because she’d already done too much of that already—Taylor pressed her mouth to his and at last, they shared their first kiss.
Chapter 8
Noah hadn’t expected Taylor to kiss him, but now that she had, he never wanted it to stop. Maybe they could build a little cabin out here by the river and live forever—just the two of them in a perfect, little life.
Taylor pulled back to take a deep, steadying breath, and he saw that his stubble had marked her skin with little red splotches. Her cheeks shone red, too, and her lips.
And he was kissing her again.
She tasted like cocoa and coming home.
“Noah,” she whispered against his mouth, leaning her forehead on his and keeping their lips close. Her breath warmed his skin in pleasant, intoxicating puffs.
If this was a game, then he’d definitely won… maybe they both had.
“Noah,” she said again.
“Taylor.” He leaned in t
o kiss her again, but she leaned to the side, causing his lips to land on her cheek instead.
“This can’t be anything serious,” she warned. Her voice was shaky as if trying to conceal a lie—or maybe tears.
“Why not?” he asked, trying in vain to kiss her again.
“I don’t date.”
“Looks like you do now.” He smiled, but her brow remained furrowed with tension.
“No. I’m married to the Army,” Taylor said.
“You’re getting a little ahead of yourself there. I haven’t asked you to marry me. I just want to see where we could go.” How could he get through to her, make her willing to accept the risk that always came hand in hand with the best things in life?
“That’s the beauty of life,” he continued, hoping his words would be enough. “You don’t have to know exactly how it will play out in the end. It’s getting there that’s the exciting part.” He reached for both of her hands and laced his fingers through hers. “This is the exciting part.”
She ducked her head and spoke to him from beneath a veil of lashes. “Noah, I like you. I do, but…”
“Hey, you’re the one who kissed me here.” He laughed nervously, but she remained serious.
“Maybe that was a mistake.”
“No, it wasn’t. We’re good together, Taylor, even you can’t deny that.”
She frowned but gave up on arguing any further.
Noah saw this as his chance. Maybe the only chance he would get. “Look, we don’t have to decide anything right now, okay? We enjoy each other’s company, so let’s spend time together. Let me take you out for a date.”
“Isn’t that kind of what this is right now?” She looked back at him. Her eyes said everything her lips refused to let pass.
“I want to take you for a real one with flowers and dinner, holding open doors and pulling out chairs.”
Taylor frowned again and sucked in a deep breath.
Noah hurried to fill the brief silence before she could officially reject his proposal. “Well, I didn’t say who would be pulling out chairs and opening doors. You’re welcome to treat me, if that’s what you want.”
He laughed softly and leaned in to kiss her again. This time, she didn’t resist. “Is that a yes?”
She looked away again. “That’s a yes to seeing where things can go, but I still don’t have a lot of hope here.”
“Well, then I’ll have enough hope for both of us. Agreed?”
Turning back, she asked, “Why do you like me so much?”
“Hey, if memory serves, I asked you that question already and you refused to answer it with anything more than ‘because.’”
She pouted her big, beautiful lips, and Noah had to fight the urge to kiss her again. “Does that mean you won’t tell me?”
“I’ve already told you dozens of times by now, but I will happily tell you again. Taylor, you’re beautiful, brave, smart, and funny. You challenge me, make me fight for you… and with you. Things haven’t been boring for even a single second. I never knew I could meet someone like you, but now that I have, I can’t let you get away without at least giving me a chance.”
She finally smiled. “It sounds like you had that prepared.” She was teasing him, but at least she was smiling. Taylor’s smile had become his very favorite thing in the whole world.
“There you go again,” he said with a laugh. “Never a dull moment. Never easy. But here’s the thing: everything else in my life is easy already. Well, except for my cat… I like that you make things difficult.”
She laid her head on his shoulder as they continued to talk. “If this is supposed to win me over, you’re doing kind of a bad job here.”
“The difficult things are the ones that mean the most.” He swept his fingers through her hair, luxuriating in the intimacy of the moment. “Taylor, you give my life this whole new layer of meaning that wasn’t there before. You keep me guessing. You—”
“You complete me?” She laughed so hard, both their bodies shook.
“Okay, so maybe I’m straying into sappy territory. I’m new at this, too, you know.”
“At dating?”
“Yeah, actually. I had a no relationships rule, same as you.”
“I never would have guessed that with how hard you seem to try every moment we’re together, even from that first day in the store.”
“Like I said, I enjoy a challenge.”
One by one, Taylor poked her fingers through the spaces between the buttons on his flannel shirt. “Am I still a challenge now that I’ve agreed to go on a date with you?” she asked.
“Probably even more so now.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, we’ve leveled up. The higher levels are always the hardest.”
She laughed and dropped both her hands into her laugh. “I don’t even know what you mean anymore.”
“You don’t like my tortured metaphor?” He laughed and picked up her hands, squeezing them in his. “Then let me give it to you straight. Taylor Hunt, I’m going to make you fall in love with me.”
Taylor tensed against him, and Noah felt happy he couldn’t see whatever tortured expression crossed her face. “And I’m not going to let you do that,” she warned.
“Taylor, don’t you see?” He tilted her face toward his, making sure she looked into his eyes as he said, “In this game, we can both win. Together.”
Taylor clutched onto her seatbelt for dear life. It wasn’t the flying that scared her this time, but rather everything else.
Kissing Noah. Not kissing him.
Staying in Anchorage. Leaving for good.
She felt hopelessly stuck, like neither option was right for her anymore.
He dropped her off at the hangar and promised to pick her up for their big date Wednesday night at seven o’clock. That, at least, gave her a few days to screw her head on straight, regain her focus, decide what he meant to her.
And in the days that followed, her mind continued to drift to Noah. She caught little precious sleep, and when she did manage it, she dreamt of him, too. There was no escape. How could she both crave and dread something at the same exact time?
After a slow and agonizing start to the week, Wednesday finally arrived. Maybe their date would bring her clarity. And who knew?
Maybe once she saw him again, she’d realize that all the feelings were already gone. She could have built this whole thing up in her head, simply for something to distract herself from the perpetual boredom that had come with her posting in Anchorage.
She ran a brush through her hair, debating whether to keep it down the way Noah liked it or to pull it up into her tight regulation ponytail. After a ridiculous amount of stalling, she settled on a half and half do.
Taylor owned exactly one dress, and she pulled it on over her head now. The simple, black fabric felt weightless against her skin. Her legs, arms, and collar bone were all exposed, making her feel naked, on display.
And she didn’t have any fancy shoes to pair with the outfit—plus, she refused to wear nylons—so she slipped a pair of black flats onto her bare feet and called it good enough.
Even though her dressed-up look was still pretty tame, Taylor felt like an awkward imposter. Why had Noah insisted on taking her to the kind of restaurant that required reservations? She’d much rather head to McDonald’s, if it meant she could wear her favorite jeans and a T-shirt.
Noah arrived a short while later, leaving Taylor grateful that she hadn’t gotten any additional alone time with the makeup collection her mother had gifted her a couple Christmases back. Her face was blissfully bare, and her skin could breathe… even though her lungs had a hard time bringing in enough air.
“You look…” Noah said as he led her to his car idling at the curb.
“Beautiful?” she mumbled. After all, that was his favorite word for her.
“Uncomfortable,” he said, stopping outside of the car without unlocking the doors for either of them. “Don’t get me wrong. You
look beautiful, too, but I’m guessing you don’t much care for wearing dresses.”
“It’s fine,” she argued. The sooner they got on with their date, the sooner she could come home and change into her nice, familiar casual wear again.
“No, it’s not,” Noah insisted with a firm shake of his head. “Look, I chose this place because they make the best prime rib you’ve ever tasted—and that’s a promise, by the way. But we don’t need to put on any kind of show. I want you to enjoy yourself.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, feeling even more awkward now that Noah had called her out. “I can’t exactly wear jeans to a five-star restaurant.”
“No, but we can order takeout. Go get changed, and I’ll call the restaurant to let them know our order will be to go.”
That did sound nice, but it also sounded like too much trouble.
“Noah, it’s fine. Really. You don’t need to change the plans on my account.”
He laughed softly and shook his head. “Yes, I do. I may not be an expert, but I know enough to know that when a woman repeatedly tells you something is fine, that means it’s not. And like I said, I want you to have a good time. So please go, go change. Let me take care of the rest.”
Noah locked his car, and the two of them returned to her apartment door. After letting them both in, she went straight to her bedroom and put on her off-duty uniform of jeans and a T-shirt. And that simple change made her feel like herself again—the real Taylor Noah had told her about, the one that lived beneath the mask.
She listened through the door as Noah spoke with the restaurant staff and placed their order to go. How had Noah known she would be miserable the entire night without a quick change up? Even her mother still hadn’t figured this out about her.
“Everything okay in there?” Noah called after hanging up with the restaurant.
“Sure is!” she shouted back, deciding to apply a little eyeshadow and mascara after all. This man was willing to adjust to meet her needs, yet she’d so rigidly insisted that they could never work. Maybe the work that needed to be done wasn’t on them, but rather on herself.
The Alaska Sunrise Romances: A 9-Book Sweet Romance Collection Page 12
