She paused, and both women looked toward Sam expectantly.
The time had come for Sam to explain himself. Sure, at first he’d hesitated at the idea, but Louise was mighty convincing when she had an idea she wanted to see to fruition, perhaps that was what made her such a talented attorney and business owner.
Yes, his relationship with Heidi was still so new, but he also knew that neither of them had entered into it lightly. If things continued to take the course they had been, the two of them could very well end up taking vows at an altar. Somehow this didn’t scare him in the slightest. And to make this dream come true, they’d have to be upfront and honest with each other straight from the get-go. Which is why he’d ultimately agreed to Louise’s invitation. Now he just needed to explain this reasoning to Heidi and hope she saw it the same way he did…
“Heidi,” he said rising to his feet and taking each of her hands in his. “I want you to know what our relationship means to me and how it fits in alongside my relationship to God. I know we’ll face some challenges since we come from different backgrounds, but we also happen to have great role models here in Louise and Brady. I’m hoping this will offer a low pressure way for us to voice any concerns or doubts we have heading into our new relationship as we co-counsel our two friends in their first session as a married couple. I didn’t mean to spring this on you all of a sudden, but when I called Brady to ask if he wouldn’t mind moving our session back a couple hours, he put Louise on the phone and—”
“And I’d seen the way you looked at each other at the wedding, and I had a feeling, so I—”
“She forced it out of him,” Brady said with a laugh. “That’s my Weezy, forever finding new ways to get people to crack their vows of silence.”
“It’s true. I did,” Louise confirmed with a nod. “And I couldn’t wait to see you two together, so I suggested he invite you to our session. We have no secrets anyway, right, Hei?”
“That’s right, zero secrets.” Heidi chuckled and held up her pinky as if to swear her loyalty to Louise and whatever secrets the two may have harbored over the years. “I may as well hear it here, because otherwise I’ll hear it on the phone later.”
“So you’re sure this is okay?” Sam asked one more time.
“Okay? It’s a fantastic idea. Thanks for inviting me, Louise, and thanks for having me, Sam. Oh, and Brady! So where do we begin?”
“Normally,” Sam answered, taking a seat once more. “I start by asking my newlywed couples if they feel any differently now that they’re married. So do you?”
Louise rushed to answer. “Different? No, not at all. I’ve been married to this man in my heart for a long time. Now we have a piece of paper that confirms what we both already knew.”
Brady draped an arm over his wife’s shoulders and pulled her into him to offer a quick kiss on the cheek. “What she said,” he added, giving her a giant smooch on the cheek.
“Can I ask a question?” Heidi turned to Sam, and he nodded. “Are your families treating you any differently now that you’ve officially tied the knot?”
Louise looked to Brady, then answered for the both of them. “Actually, yeah, some of them are. Before we were married a couple of them had issues with the fact that I’m Jewish and Brady is Christian, but now that we’ve said ‘I do’, it’s as if they finally understand that we’re serious about making this work. Now that there’s no going back, they’ve had to bite their tongues and just finally be—or at least act—happy for us.”
Sam watched Heidi carefully to gauge her reaction. She leaned forward and nodded along as Louise shared her experiences, breaking into a smile when she had finished speaking as if some previously unseen doubt had just melted away. Now her smile was looser, wider, even more stunning than before.
Louise’s plan was working, and Sam was falling faster and faster into love with this woman who happily accepted whatever challenges had come their way thus far.
Nobody spoke for several seconds, so Sam asked the next question he had prepared for their session. “How have your different religious backgrounds factored into your relationship?”
Louise again answered for the both of them. She didn’t even need a moment to think. It’s as if she had somehow anticipated all his questions and come prepared with answers to each of them. “Well, all marriages are work, and we know that better than anyone. But rather than having to deal with surprises down the road, we’ve been able to plan for them upfront. Every couple has differences, even if they come from the same religion. We’ve at least have our biggest difference laid right out on the table from Day One. Knowing that has made us stronger as we’ve grown together and learned how to focus on our similarities instead.”
Wow, it was as if Louise was speaking straight to his heart. Why hadn’t he thought to speak with her and Brady from the get-go rather than first turning to Pastor George who had only discouraged him?
He had one more question to ask. This one didn’t belong to his usual newlywed checklist. It was something personal, something he wanted Heidi to hear the answer to—an answer he also wanted to know for himself. “If you were able to go back in time and give yourselves one piece of advice as you first started dating, what would that advice be?”
Louise opened her mouth to speak, but Brady moved his hand to her knee and gave it a squeeze. She, in turn, leaned back and relaxed into the couch as she waited for her husband to deliver their answer.
“I’ve thought a lot about that very thing, Sam. You know, about the path that led me to be here sitting next to this beautiful woman who is now stuck with me forever and ever.” Brady spoke slowly, but he had everyone’s attention.
“What would I change if I could? Honestly, not a darn thing. And that would be my advice to my past self. Don’t worry about doing everything right, about what could happen, or what should. Just live, experience, have fun while you’re at it. Let love guide you to where you’re going. Worrying will only dull the present, it can’t change the future. And, I know this may sound a bit corny, but like the word suggests, the present is a gift, one that’s meant to be enjoyed to its fullest. That’s why every day when I wake up, I thank the Lord for all he’s given me and promise Him that I will do the best I can on that day, that single day in time. I then thank Him for the day when I go to bed, and the next morning I make that pledge all over again.
“Each day I’m able to appreciate all He’s given me and to enjoy it to its fullest, because I’m not worried about tomorrow, not worried about what comes next. Instead I get to notice each day how my wife’s nose scrunches up when she laughs, how her eyes glisten when she tells me she loves me, how that one lock of her hair will never stay put behind her ear. I get to appreciate how she wakes up early to prep ingredients for a fantastic dinner she’ll make just for me, how she puts her entire heart into making our small apartment into a loving home, how she wants happiness for her friends just as much and even more than she wants it for herself… I get to appreciate these things each day by having accepted God’s gift of the present. And that’s why I wouldn’t change a thing.”
“Aww, babe,” Louise gushed. “You are so sweet! I love you.” They kissed, and when they broke apart, both looked a little embarrassed but a lot happy.
Louise then gestured toward Heidi and Sam. “We both feel really lucky to have found what we have together, and like Brady said, if we’d have spent too much time questioning it or worrying about our differences, we wouldn’t be where we are today. And, you know, you two remind me a lot of Brady and me at the beginning. In fact, I bet it won’t be long until we’re dancing at your wedding…”
Heidi and Sam exchanged a glance as they waited for Louise to say more, and this time neither of them turned red with embarrassment. Could this really happen for them? Would Heidi really one day be his wife?
As if to answer these unspoken questions, Louise spoke again. “I really do think you two could end up together, but before anything like that can happen, Heidi, there’s one thin
g you’ll need to do first.”
Heidi’s eyes shot toward her friend, her brow hardened with worry. “Do you mean…?”
Louise nodded, but her expression remained completely neutral. “Yes, he’ll need to meet your mother.”
Chapter 9
The next day, Heidi brought Sam to meet her mother. Though the two had met briefly at Louise and Brady’s wedding, this time Heidi would demand that Judith give her new love interest a chance rather than immediately writing him off as an ill-suited match. Sam came straight from church, looking dapper in a navy blue suit and argyle-patterned tie.
“Are you ready?” Heidi asked as they stood outside the entryway to her childhood home, her finger hovering less than an inch from the doorbell.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” he said. He blew out a slow, steady breath through puckered lips as he adjusted the lapels of his suit jacket.
Heidi smiled to show her support, even though she was willing to bet that she felt far more nervous than he did in that moment. After all, she knew what they were up against far better than he. Ultimately, they just needed to get this over with. It would only be worse the longer they waited. So she smashed the button, and the doorbell let out a series of low, deep gongs.
A moment later, Judith appeared, holding out a plate of latkes.
“Hungry?” she said by way of greeting.
“I never turn down a hot meal,” Sam answered with a quick pat to his belly. “Thank you.”
“Well, I never turn away a guest. C’mon in, and I’ll make you up a plate.” Judith led the way to the dining room with Heidi and Sam following closely behind.
“How’s everyone at the temple, Heidi?” Judith asked once the three of them were seated at the table, each with a steaming plate of fresh latkes before them.
“Good as always. We missed you today.”
“Eh, I’m not feeling my best. Next week though, okay? Anyway, Alma Schwartz tells me that that Weinstein twins set a date for their bar mitzvah.”
“Yes, they did.” Heidi nudged Sam with her foot. If he didn’t try to say something soon, Judith was certain to dominate the entire afternoon with this incessant stream of small talk.
“Thank you for lunch, Mrs. Gold. These are the best potato pancakes I’ve ever had.”
“Latkes, and of course they are. It’s an old family recipe that my great grandmother brought from Germany. Do you remember your great grandmother, Heidi?”
Heidi shrugged and took another bite. “Umm, didn’t she die when I was little?”
“You were four, but you should still remember her. Family is important, after all. Tradition is important.”
Heidi and Sam exchanged a look, but neither said anything.
So Judith continued, “Remember when we visited your cousins in Germany, Heidi? We had such a great time learning more about our family’s history.”
“Of course, I remember. That was only a few years ago.”
“And remember how your father used to do that funny chicken dance whenever the dreidel would land on gimel? I think that’s one of my favorite holiday memories. And, of course, he always helped you pick a charity to serve each holiday season, too. We can’t forget that tradition.”
“Mom… what’s this about? You’re starting to sound like a bad off-Broadway play with all this talk of family, history, tradition.”
“Is – is this about me, Mrs. Gold?” Sam set his fork down and crossing his hands in front of him.
“Well, he may not be Jewish, but he is smart,” Judith said, choosing to speak to Heidi rather than Sam.
“Mom, that’s not—”
“I’m sorry,” Judith said in a way that implied that she actually wasn’t. “We don’t need to talk about this. It’s not like you’ll be in our lives much longer… Pastor Sam, is it?”
“Mom!” Heidi stood from her chair fully prepared to storm out of there, but Sam stood, too. He rested a hand on her shoulder to stop her from saying anything more in his defense.
“Heidi, please. It’s okay. I understand why she’s upset. Mrs. Gold, would you mind if I spoke frankly?”
Judith made a broad gesture with her hands. “Since we’re already here anyway, you might as well go ahead.”
Heidi sighed and sank back into her chair. Here we go…
Sam sat back down, too. “Like I said, I understand why you’re upset. But let me assure you that I care very deeply about your daughter.”
Judith let out a sarcastic huff. “Of course, you do. Heidi is wonderful. But I don’t know a thing about you. Do you come from a good family? I don’t know. Do you have strong morals? I don’t know. Will you accept and uphold this family’s traditions? I don’t know that either.”
“And you think you would know all that if Sam were Jewish?” Heidi asked, smoothing out a few stray wrinkles in the surface of the table cloth.
Her mother shrugged and took a sip of juice. “I would know a lot more, and what I don’t know I’d be able to find out through the grapevine.”
“What do you want to know about me?” Sam asked, steepling his fingers in front of him. “Ask whatever you want, and I promise to answer with one-hundred percent honesty.”
Judith set her glass down and slumped back into her chair. “Okay, what do you want with my daughter?”
“Honestly?”
“That’s what you promised me.”
He looked at Heidi briefly and smiled before turning back toward her mother to answer. “I don’t know what it is exactly, not yet anyway. But there’s something about your daughter that I’ve loved ever since the moment I first laid eyes on her. What I want is to be able to stick around long enough to find out what that special something is.”
“Okay, so you’re good with your words. But what if you two actually end up getting serious? Will my grandchildren be—”
“Mom!” Heidi interrupted. It was way too soon in her relationship with Sam to talk about their prospective children.
But apparently Sam didn’t mind. “It’s okay, Heidi. Really. Let’s get it all out there on the table. Go ahead, Mrs. Gold, you can finish your question and I’ll answer, just as I promised.”
Now Judith let out a long sigh as if this whole conversation had already pushed her to the brink of exhaustion. “Pastor Sam, you seem like a very nice boy. I can tell. But there are just some things you’ll never be able to understand, important things. I’ve already lost my husband to an early death, I can’t afford to lose my daughter to a different faith. I want to be able to celebrate all our traditions with my grandchildren, to teach them the history of our people, our suffering and our triumphs. I want them to be proud of where we come from, not just mention it as an afterthought. I don’t want to be pushed out of my daughter’s life, out of my grandkids’ lives because they’d rather celebrate Christmas than Chanukah or because it’s easier or more socially acceptable for them to identify as Christian instead of Jewish. I want to be friends with my daughter’s in-laws, and feel like I know them. My daughter is all I have left. Her and our traditions, and you’re asking to take both away from me, Pastor Sam. Surely you must understand why I just can’t let that happen.”
“Mom,” Heidi’s voice quivered as she spoke. “I had no idea you felt that way. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Judith shrugged. “I tried, but it’s not exactly an easy thing to say now, is it?”
“Mrs. Gold,” Sam began, holding a hand to his heart. “Thank you for telling me where you’re coming from. I truly appreciate it. Now I’d like to explain where I’m coming from with regards to your daughter. I’m drawn to Heidi because of who she is, not who I think I can turn her into. Her strong faith and sense of tradition is a big part of why I like her so much. I would never expect her to, nor would I want her to, change that. I don’t want to bury her traditions, rather I want to learn about them, and I want her to learn about mine, too.
“I want to grow in the Lord and grow in love together. One day I may want to be your son-in-law, to be the f
ather to your grandchildren, and when that day comes I’d ask you to guide this family in teaching us all about your heritage, your faith, and your traditions. I agree whole-heartedly that knowing where we came from is vital when it comes to knowing where we’re headed.
“I was not raised in a Godly home, but rather found the Lord on my own as an adult. In that way, you would be a role model of godliness and spiritual living for any children Heidi and I might have. You would be the one grandparent who understands and celebrates such a vital part of our lives.
“Like Heidi and like you, I’ve chosen to devote my life to God and though I regularly counsel members of my Church, I also believe that a man’s relationship with his Maker is highly personal, that no one can tell you what to believe, that all the answers you need in life are already there in your heart if only you know where to look for them.
“Heidi is strong in her faith as well. She knows who she is and how the Lord factors into her life. It’s something I admire very much about her, something I would never, never seek to change. And in turn I hope it’s something that she wouldn’t try to change about me.
“With all that said, I wouldn’t want to go against your wishes. After all, the fifth commandment tells us to honor our mothers and fathers, and I think that extends to others as well. Just as I want to honor and respect Heidi to the best of my ability, I want to do the same for you.
“So let me ask you this, may I please have your blessing to date your daughter?”
The beginnings of tears glistened in her mother’s gray eyes—the same tears Heidi felt threatening to spill from her own. Judith rose from the table. “I very much needed to hear you say that. I needed to know for sure that you wouldn’t try to change my Heidi, that you wouldn’t try to take her from me, or erase her traditions. Yes, you may date my daughter.”
Heidi hurried over to give her mother a tight hug and then pulled in Sam as well to make it a group affair. “Thank you, Mom,” she whispered. “Thank you so much.”
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