CHAPTER XI.
"Meanwhile large deductions had been made from my stock of money, andthe remnant would be speedily consumed by my present mode of life. Myexpenses far exceeded my previous expectations. In no long time I shouldbe reduced to my ancient poverty, which the luxurious existence that Inow enjoyed, and the regard due to my beloved and helpless companion,would render more irksome than ever. Some scheme to rescue me from thisfate was indispensable; but my aversion to labour, to any pursuit theend of which was merely gain, and which would require application andattention, continued undiminished.
"I was plunged anew into dejection and perplexity. From this I wassomewhat relieved by a plan suggested by Mr. Thetford. I thought I hadexperience of his knowledge and integrity, and the scheme that heproposed seemed liable to no possibility of miscarriage. A ship was tobe purchased, supplied with a suitable cargo, and despatched to a portin the West Indies. Loss from storms and enemies was to be precluded byinsurance. Every hazard was to be enumerated, and the ship and cargovalued at the highest rate. Should the voyage be safely performed, theprofits would be double the original expense. Should the ship be takenor wrecked, the insurers would have bound themselves to make ample,speedy, and certain indemnification. Thetford's brother, a wary andexperienced trader, was to be the supercargo.
"All my money was laid out upon this scheme. Scarcely enough wasreserved to supply domestic and personal wants. Large debts werelikewise incurred. Our caution had, as we conceived, annihilated everychance of failure. Too much could not be expended on a project soinfallible; and the vessel, amply fitted and freighted, departed on hervoyage.
"An interval, not devoid of suspense and anxiety, succeeded. Mymercantile inexperience made me distrust the clearness of my owndiscernment, and I could not but remember that my utter andirretrievable destruction was connected with the failure of my scheme.Time added to my distrust and apprehensions. The time at which tidingsof the ship were to be expected elapsed without affording anyinformation of her destiny. My anxieties, however, were to be carefullyhidden from the world. I had taught mankind to believe that this projecthad been adopted more for amusement than gain; and the debts which I hadcontracted seemed to arise from willingness to adhere to establishedmaxims, more than from the pressure of necessity.
"Month succeeded month, and intelligence was still withheld. The noteswhich I had given for one-third of the cargo, and for the premium ofinsurance, would shortly become due. For the payment of the former, andthe cancelling of the latter, I had relied upon the expeditious returnor the demonstrated loss of the vessel. Neither of these events hadtaken place.
"My cares were augmented from another quarter. My companion's situationnow appeared to be such as, if our intercourse had been sanctified bywedlock, would have been regarded with delight. As it was, no symptomswere equally to be deplored. Consequences, as long as they were involvedin uncertainty, were extenuated or overlooked; but now, when they becameapparent and inevitable, were fertile of distress and upbraiding.
"Indefinable fears, and a desire to monopolize all the meditations andaffections of this being, had induced me to perpetuate her ignorance ofany but her native language, and debar her from all intercourse with theworld. My friends were of course inquisitive respecting her character,adventures, and particularly her relation to me. The consciousness howmuch the truth redounded to my dishonour made me solicitous to leadconjecture astray. For this purpose I did not discountenance theconclusion that was adopted by some,--that she was my daughter. Ireflected that all dangerous surmises would be effectually precluded bythis belief.
"These precautions afforded me some consolation in my presentdifficulties. It was requisite to conceal the lady's condition from theworld. If this should be ineffectual, it would not be difficult todivert suspicion from my person. The secrecy that I had practised wouldbe justified, in the apprehension of those to whom the personalcondition of Clemenza should be disclosed, by the feelings of a father.
"Meanwhile, it was an obvious expedient to remove the unhappy lady to adistance from impertinent observers. A rural retreat, lonely andsequestered, was easily procured, and hither she consented to repair.This arrangement being concerted, I had leisure to reflect upon theevils which every hour brought nearer, and which threatened toexterminate me.
"My inquietudes forbade me to sleep, and I was accustomed to rise beforeday and seek some respite in the fields. Returning from one of theseunseasonable rambles, I chanced to meet you. Your resemblance to thedeceased Lodi, in person and visage, is remarkable. When you first metmy eye, this similitude startled me. Your subsequent appeal to mycompassion was clothed in such terms as formed a powerful contrast withyour dress, and prepossessed me greatly in favour of your education andcapacity.
"In my present hopeless condition, every incident, however trivial, wasattentively considered, with a view to extract from it some means ofescaping from my difficulties. My love for the Italian girl, in spite ofall my efforts to keep it alive, had begun to languish. Marriage wasimpossible; and had now, in some degree, ceased to be desirable. We areapt to judge of others by ourselves. The passion I now found myselfdisposed to ascribe chiefly to fortuitous circumstances; to the impulseof gratitude, and the exclusion of competitors; and believed that yourresemblance to her brother, your age and personal accomplishments,might, after a certain time, and in consequence of suitablecontrivances on my part, give a new direction to her feelings. To gainyour concurrence, I relied upon your simplicity, your gratitude, andyour susceptibility to the charms of this bewitching creature.
"I contemplated, likewise, another end. Mrs. Wentworth is rich. A youthwho was once her favourite, and designed to inherit her fortunes, hasdisappeared, for some years, from the scene. His death is most probable,but of that there is no satisfactory information. The life of thisperson, whose name is Clavering, is an obstacle to some designs whichhad occurred to me in relation to this woman. My purposes were crude andscarcely formed. I need not swell the catalogue of my errors byexpatiating upon them. Suffice it to say that the peculiar circumstancesof your introduction to me led me to reflections on the use that mightbe made of your agency, in procuring this lady's acquiescence in myschemes. You were to be ultimately persuaded to confirm her in thebelief that her nephew was dead. To this consummation it wasindispensable to lead you by slow degrees and circuitous paths.Meanwhile, a profound silence, with regard to your genuine history, wasto be observed; and to this forbearance your consent was obtained withmore readiness than I expected.
"There was an additional motive for the treatment you received from me.My personal projects and cares had hitherto prevented me from readingLodi's manuscript; a slight inspection, however, was sufficient to provethat the work was profound and eloquent. My ambition has panted, withequal avidity, after the reputation of literature and opulence. To claimthe authorship of this work was too harmless and specious a stratagemnot to be readily suggested. I meant to translate it into English, andto enlarge it by enterprising incidents of my own invention. My scruplesto assume the merit of the original composer might thus be removed. Forthis end, your assistance as an amanuensis would be necessary.
"You will perceive that all these projects depended on the seasonablearrival of intelligence from ----. The delay of another week would sealmy destruction. The silence might arise from the foundering of the shipand the destruction of all on board. In this case, the insurance was notforfeited, but payment could not be obtained within a year. Meanwhile,the premium and other debts must be immediately discharged, and this wasbeyond my power. Meanwhile, I was to live in a manner that would notbelie my pretensions; but my coffers were empty.
"I cannot adequately paint the anxieties with which I have been haunted.Each hour has added to the burden of my existence, till, in consequenceof the events of this day, it has become altogether insupportable. Somehours ago, I was summoned by Thetford to his house. The messengerinformed me that tidings had been received of my ship. In answer to myeager interrogations, he could give no oth
er information than that shehad been captured by the British. He was unable to relate particulars.
"News of her safe return would, indeed, have been far more acceptable;but even this information was a source of infinite congratulation. Itprecluded the demand of my insurers. The payment of other debts might bepostponed for a month, and my situation be the same as before theadoption of this successless scheme. Hope and joy were reinstated in mybosom, and I hasted to Thetford's counting-house.
"He received me with an air of gloomy dissatisfaction. I accounted forhis sadness by supposing him averse to communicate information which wasless favourable than our wishes had dictated. He confirmed, with visiblereluctance, the news of her capture. He had just received letters fromhis brother, acquainting him with all particulars, and containing theofficial documents of this transaction.
"This had no tendency to damp my satisfaction, and I proceeded to perusewith eagerness the papers which he put into my hand. I had not proceededfar, when my joyous hopes vanished. Two French mulattoes had, after muchsolicitation, and the most solemn promises to carry with them noarticles which the laws of war decree to be contraband, obtained apassage in the vessel. She was speedily encountered by a privateer, bywhom every receptacle was ransacked. In a chest, belonging to theFrenchmen, and which they had affirmed to contain nothing but theirclothes, were found two sabres, and other accoutrements of an officer ofcavalry. Under this pretence, the vessel was captured and condemned, andthis was a cause of forfeiture which had not been provided against inthe contract of insurance.
"By this untoward event my hopes were irreparably blasted. The utmostefforts were demanded to conceal my thoughts from my companion. Theanguish that preyed upon my heart was endeavoured to be masked by looksof indifference. I pretended to have been previously informed by themessenger not only of the capture, but of the cause that led to it, andforbore to expatiate upon my loss, or to execrate the authors of mydisappointment. My mind, however, was the theatre of discord and agony,and I waited with impatience for an opportunity to leave him.
"For want of other topics, I asked by whom this information had beenbrought. He answered, that the bearer was Captain Amos Watson, whosevessel had been forfeited, at the same time, under a different pretence.He added that, my name being mentioned accidentally to Watson, thelatter had betrayed marks of great surprise, and been very earnest inhis inquiries respecting my situation. Having obtained what knowledgeThetford was able to communicate, the captain had departed, avowing aformer acquaintance with me, and declaring his intention of paying me avisit.
"These words operated on my frame like lightning. All within me wastumult and terror, and I rushed precipitately out of the house. I wentforward with unequal steps, and at random. Some instinct led me into thefields, and I was not apprized of the direction of my steps, till,looking up, I found myself upon the shore of Schuylkill.
"Thus was I, a second time, overborne by hopeless and incurable evils.An interval of motley feelings, of specious artifice and contemptibleimposture, had elapsed since my meeting with the stranger at Wilmington.Then my forlorn state had led me to the brink of suicide. A brief andfeverish respite had been afforded me, but now was I transported to theverge of the same abyss.
"Amos Watson was the brother of the angel whom I had degraded anddestroyed. What but fiery indignation and unappeasable vengeance couldlead him into my presence? With what heart could I listen to hisinvectives? How could I endure to look upon the face of one whom I hadloaded with such atrocious and intolerable injuries?
"I was acquainted with his loftiness of mind; his detestation ofinjustice, and the whirlwind passions that ingratitude and villany likemine were qualified to awaken in his bosom. I dreaded not his violence.The death that he might be prompted to inflict was no object ofaversion. It was poverty and disgrace, the detection of my crimes, thelooks and voice of malediction and upbraiding, from which my cowardiceshrunk.
"Why should I live? I must vanish from that stage which I had latelytrodden. My flight must be instant and precipitate. To be a fugitivefrom exasperated creditors, and from the industrious revenge of Watson,was an easy undertaking; but whither could I fly, where I should not bepursued by the phantoms of remorse, by the dread of hourly detection, bythe necessities of hunger and thirst? In what scene should I be exemptfrom servitude and drudgery? Was my existence embellished withenjoyments that would justify my holding it, encumbered with hardshipsand immersed in obscurity?
"There was no room for hesitation. To rush into the stream before me,and put an end at once to my life and the miseries inseparably linkedwith it, was the only proceeding which fate had left to my choice. Mymuscles were already exerted for this end, when the helpless conditionof Clemenza was remembered. What provision could I make against theevils that threatened her? Should I leave her utterly forlorn andfriendless? Mrs. Wentworth's temper was forgiving and compassionate.Adversity had taught her to participate and her wealth enabled her torelieve distress. Who was there by whom such powerful claims to succourand protection could be urged as by this desolate girl? Might I notstate her situation in a letter to this lady, and urge irresistiblepleas for the extension of her kindness to this object?
"These thoughts made me suspend my steps. I determined to seek myhabitation once more, and, having written and deposited this letter, toreturn to the execution of my fatal purpose. I had scarcely reached myown door, when some one approached along the pavement. The form, atfirst, was undistinguishable, but, by coming, at length, within theillumination of a lamp, it was perfectly recognised.
"To avoid this detested interview was now impossible. Watson approachedand accosted me. In this conflict of tumultuous feelings I was stillable to maintain an air of intrepidity. His demeanour was that of a manwho struggles with his rage. His accents were hurried, and scarcelyarticulate. 'I have ten words to say to you,' said he; 'lead into thehouse, and to some private room. My business with you will be despatchedin a breath.'
"I made him no answer, but led the way into my house, and to my study.On entering this room, I put the light upon the table, and, turning tomy visitant, prepared silently to hear what he had to unfold. He struckhis clenched hand against the table with violence. His motion was ofthat tempestuous kind as to overwhelm the power of utterance, and foundit easier to vent itself in gesticulations than in words. At length heexclaimed,--
"'It is well. Now has the hour, so long and so impatiently demanded bymy vengeance, arrived. Welbeck! Would that my first words could strikethee dead! They will so, if thou hast any title to the name of man.
"'My sister is dead; dead of anguish and a broken heart. Remote from herfriends; in a hovel; the abode of indigence and misery.
"'Her husband is no more. He returned after a long absence, a tediousnavigation, and vicissitudes of hardships. He flew to the bosom of hislove; of his wife. She was gone; lost to him, and to virtue. In a fit ofdesperation, he retired to his chamber and despatched himself. This isthe instrument with which the deed was performed.'
"Saying this, Watson took a pistol from his pocket, and held it to myhead. I lifted not my hand to turn aside the weapon. I did not shudderat the spectacle, or shrink from his approaching hand. With fingersclasped together, and eyes fixed upon the floor, I waited till his furywas exhausted. He continued:--
"'All passed in a few hours. The elopement of his daughter,--the deathof his son. O my father! Most loved and most venerable of men! To seethee changed into a maniac! Haggard and wild! Deterred from outrage onthyself and those around thee by fetters and stripes! What was it thatsaved me from a like fate? To view this hideous ruin, and to think bywhom it was occasioned! Yet not to become frantic like thee, my father;or not destroy myself like thee, my brother! My friend!--
"'No. For this hour was I reserved; to avenge your wrongs and mine inthe blood of this ungrateful villain.'
"'There,' continued he, producing a second pistol, and tendering it tome,--'there is thy defence. Take we opposite sides of this table, andfire at the same instant.'
"During this address I was motionless. He tendered the pistol, but Iunclasped not my hands to receive it.
"'Why do you hesitate?' resumed he. 'Let the chance between us be equal,or fire you first.'
"'No,' said I, 'I am ready to die by your hand. I wish it. It willpreclude the necessity of performing the office for myself. I haveinjured you, and merit all that your vengeance can inflict. I know yournature too well to believe that my death will be perfect expiation. Whenthe gust of indignation is past, the remembrance of your deed will onlyadd to your sum of misery; yet I do not love you well enough to wishthat you would forbear. I desire to die, and to die by another's handrather than my own.'
"'Coward!' exclaimed Watson, with augmented vehemence, 'you know me toowell to believe me capable of assassination. Vile subterfuge!Contemptible plea! Take the pistol and defend yourself. You want not thepower or the will; but, knowing that I spurn at murder, you think yoursafety will be found in passiveness. Your refusal will avail you little.Your fame, if not your life, is at my mercy. If you falter now, I willallow you to live, but only till I have stabbed your reputation.'
"I now fixed my eyes steadfastly upon him, and spoke:--'How much astranger are you to the feelings of Welbeck! How poor a judge of hiscowardice! I take your pistol, and consent to your conditions.'
"We took opposite sides of the table. 'Are you ready?' he cried; 'fire!'
"Both triggers were drawn at the same instant. Both pistols weredischarged. Mine was negligently raised. Such is the untoward chancethat presides over human affairs; such is the malignant destiny by whichmy steps have ever been pursued. The bullet whistled harmlessly byme,--levelled by an eye that never before failed, and with so small aninterval between us. I escaped, but my blind and random shot took placein his heart.
"There is the fruit of this disastrous meeting. The catalogue of deathis thus completed. Thou sleepest, Watson! Thy sister is at rest, and soart thou. Thy vows of vengeance are at an end. It was not reserved forthee to be thy own and thy sister's avenger. Welbeck's measure oftransgressions is now full, and his own hand must execute the justicethat is due to him."
Arthur Mervyn; Or, Memoirs of the Year 1793 Page 11
