by Cat Porter
“Last year of college. I’m home on break.”
“Terrific. What are you majoring in?”
“Nothing I wanted,” slid from my mouth, and his eyes widened. Shit. Evil Truth and I were doing the tango on a whiskey sour dance floor, no stopping us now.
“Oh. That sucks.”
“It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not.”
I blinked. No one had ever argued that point with me. Only smiles, only “good for you!”
My face heated as I shifted my weight. “It’s just that eventually, I’m going to be working with my dad in his land development business, helping my mom run her business, so I need to know how to handle all that. That’s what college is for.”
“Is it? Really?”
My heart beat faster at his suddenly serious tone. A criticism? An objection? He didn’t approve, and that bit me hard. Worst of all, his tone was colored with challenge.
Beck Lanier could see right through me. No one else ever had. No one.
Was he disappointed in me? Surprised? I know I was, and that was more than enough to handle.
He leaned in close, and I steeled myself. “What is it you want, Violet?” His breath fanned my face, his sensual lips moving close to mine. His heat, his scent like freshly chopped wood and lemons filling my senses. “Tell me.”
Evil Truth spun me on our dance floor, dipped me back over his arm. I met Beck’s penetrating glare.
“Come on, Violet,” he breathed. “Say it. Say it out loud.”
“I want to dance in the wind, sing in the roar.” I quoted his stunning lyrics. Everything I’d never before expressed, everything churning inside me. Always they had been abstract feelings, hopes, daydreams. Whispers inside me. But tonight, tonight for the first time it all made sense, it all came together. The whispers were loud and clear. All because of Beck.
His eyes gleamed in the shadows, two beacons. “Then do it.”
“It’s complicated.”
He gripped my arms and leaned in closer. My pulse surged like a revitalized car battery. “The good stuff is never easy, but maybe it’s not so complicated. Maybe it's just the idea of pushing against the tide.” His breaths got shorter, rougher. “Go after what makes you high, Violet. No matter what, no matter how hard you think it is. No matter what anybody else says. My mom taught me that. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, to fail here and there. Learn. Go wild. Be reckless. It can be a good thing, because that’s where you’ll find your gold, the gold you’re made of that no one can take away from you. Is there something that makes you really happy?”
“Yes,” I breathed.
“Good.” He brushed a piece of hair past my face, his warm fingertips sweeping down to my neck, and I shuddered. “We only get one shot at life, Violet. Only one.” His knuckles stroked the side of my face, spreading a blaze over my flesh like a forest fire in August heat. Uncontrollable, wild, intense. “There’s nothing better than doing what you love. Translating who you are, what you see and hear into—”
My fingers curled in his soft T-shirt. I was holding on. I was bracing. Thunder overhead. Lightning in the sky. “Beck…”
“Yeah?”
“I want to be that wind, be that roar.”
He groaned, and his hands dug in my hair, pulling me into his body. His lips crushed mine. A swipe of warm wet tongue parted my lips. My entire being ignited, flared to life like a new lightbulb filling a previously dim room. Shocking, bright, vibrant.
Beck tasted of glorious freedom. Of wild, of reckless. That roar.
My arms wrapped around his middle to hold on, to be swept away. A firm hand slid to my lower back and gripped me. Holy—
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
He pulled back, his forehead against mine, our lips a breath apart. Our lips so close, our breathing choppy, heartbeats galloping. “Jesus, Violet, I’m—”
“Don’t say you’re sorry. Do not.”
“Oh, I’m not sorry.” His mouth took mine once more. He poured more of his heady, rich wine for me to drink. And I drank.
I was lost.
I was found.
I fell, I soared.
His tongue drove inside my mouth, seeking, teasing, demanding, and mine demanded right back. His taste, perfection. Groans rose in his chest and rumbled against mine, making me press deeper against him, and his grip on me tightened even more.
This kiss wasn’t only lips and tongues sliding and exploring. Our bodies communicated, resonated. Low moans escaped his throat and I swallowed them, I wanted more. I gave him mine.
Never ever had I experienced this kind of kiss before, this connection. This, this was…
A cell phone beep went off—a shriek, shattering the magic. Groaning, he released me, my body seizing in the sudden cold as the glittering fairy dust dissipated around us. His intense gaze tore from mine and went to the cell phone he’d pulled out of his pocket. That sinful tongue licked at his gleaming lower lip, and a sting lanced through me. He cleared his throat. “Everyone’s waiting for me out front.”
“Right. Of course.” I swept my hair behind my ears.
He typed into his phone, glancing up at me. “Are you here alone? You want to hang out with us? Do you need a ride home? Why don’t you—”
“I’m here with friends. They must be wondering where I am.”
Back to lying.
Back to pretending.
Back to faking.
“Oh. Okay.” He tucked his phone back in his pocket, a hand rubbed along that gorgeous jaw. “It was good to see you, Violet.”
“You too, Beck.”
“I mean it. We’ve never had a big conversation before. You really helped me, helped me see things clearly. Sometimes I get a little carried away, stay in my head too much.”
He was a sensitive creature. I’d always thought so, and I liked that in him.
“I’m glad I could help. You helped me too.”
Inspired me, ignited me.
I lunged at him, and a grunt escaped him as he held me close, his face sinking in my neck. His heat against mine. His firm strength around me.
I soaked in it, in Beck, in one of the greatest moments of my life. I took in his scent one last time, memorizing it. Woodsy clean. Memorized the press of his warm, strong body.
I pulled away from him. “Good luck with the rest of the tour. Have a blast.” My feet took another step back.
“I will. And, Violet—” He grabbed my hand, pulling me back in. “I didn’t mean to offend you before, about what you’re studying at school. I’m sorry, I—”
“No, no, you didn’t offend me. It’s the truth.”
His fingers rubbed mine. “I hope you can find a way to do what you love, whatever it is. It’s too important. And you know what?” His lips twitched into a slight grin. Mischievous, playful. I melted inside all over again.
“What?” I squeezed his fingers.
He squeezed back. “I’m going to hold you to it.”
“Oh yeah?”
“I am. I’ll be back for Mom and Finger’s wedding in a couple of months, and you are going to tell me all about it. I look forward to hearing every detail.” He leaned in and brushed my cheek with a quick kiss, a sigh escaping him. His lips touched mine once again. A velvety, killing-me-softly unhurried sensual caress. An ache I didn’t know I had set off inside me, swelling, blurring everything else.
His forehead slid to mine. “I had to do that.” A hoarse whisper.
“Glad you did.”
We both chuckled. Both bit at our lower lips.
“Promise me something?”
“You’re demanding, Lanier.”
“Whatever you do, be loud about it.” He kissed my forehead and whispered, “Goodbye.”
“Goodbye, Beck.”
His heavy booted steps faded in the unlit hallway, and I fell back against the wall and closed my eyes. Alone in the dark, Beck’s heat still rippling through me, I took in a deep yoga breath to steady myself
. I was a mass of jangling, clanging bells, a cacophony of emotions, a symphony of excitement and desires. I held the breath in and let it out in a long, steady stream. It was rough, loud, and I laughed.
Be loud, Violet.
I wanted this. The kind of life Beck led. Not the fame and celebrity and all that, but the being true to your creative spirit, the expressing yourself in your work. Not this double life that I extracted out of myself every day, like squeezing out bits of toothpaste when the tube was pretty much empty and your fingers hurt, but you still did it.
My fingers went to my lips. I’d shared with someone who understood exactly what I was talking about, dreaming about. Who called me on my bullshit and challenged me to go for the best. Who encouraged me to make my dreams happen for myself. Honesty had been the only way with Beck. Surprisingly satisfying.
He was right. We only had one life, and this was mine.
Before I knew it, it would fly away from me, like a balloon whose string slips from your hand and the wind pitches it into the sky, out of reach. Far away and farther away. There’d be no way to catch it, bring it back. No way.
Pretty soon, I’d be thirty, then forty, then…
I didn’t want to be in the grip of that guilt, that horror, not anymore. Ever since, I’d been keeping a lid on myself and keeping the peace for everybody, making up for…impossible things.
And it was so fucking hard.
“That terrible, fantastic noise.” Beck’s lyrics describing the waterfall came back to me, fisting in my gut, taking root there. I wanted to be true to myself. I mattered.
No more wasting time, no more playing games.
Straightening my back, I pushed away from the wall. I was going to submit that application to the workshop. I would. I had to. I’d already filled it out, and then I’d shoved it in the back of a drawer, hadn’t I?
No more.
My phone beeped. A text message from Derek.
Where the hell are you????? I’m leaving!
His words, his tone were a rotten stench. Did I even like him at all? No, I didn’t, I really didn’t, hadn’t for a very long time.
“Go, Derek, go.” I shut down my phone.
I was stuck in an ages-old muck, trying to prove the same old same old over and over again. Years had gone by, and I was still in that same muck, grinning, posing. I’d been doing this to myself all along. Even my dashes of defiance and rebellion, my little victories weren’t fun anymore. Scattered and meaningless.
I was wasting precious time. More importantly, I was wasting me.
I pushed open the emergency door, and the cold air rushed over my hot skin and filled my lungs. Would I see Beck again? At his mom’s wedding, probably. Would we keep in touch, kiss again, take this further? Probably not. Forever the realist. Our lives were wildly different.
A moment like we had tonight, this sudden, electric intersection, was a once in a lifetime kind of thing, wasn’t it?
I stepped outside into the cold night, and I let go of the handle. Behind me the heavy door slammed shut loudly, and I laughed.
When and how will Beck & Violet’s paths cross again? Don’t miss what happens next in their thrilling and passionate book 2, Whirlwind available on September 29th
- Pre-Order WHIRLWIND -
On the final night of my band's sold out world tour my high life comes crashing down on me.
Girlfriend. Band. Best friend. All of it. Blindsided, humiliated, pissed off, I take off and slam right into Violet.
Years have gone by since that unexpected and explosive connection ignited between us. And now? It only burns brighter and hotter. Between us it’s soul-searing and wild, and I can’t get enough of her. And in an impressive twist of fate, she and I are connected in more ways than we know.
The paparazzi are after me for one screw up after the other, the gossip hounds are circling like vultures, crazy rumors are swirling. But all I care about is Violet. I’ll do anything to make her mine.
Beck obliterates all my musts, all my shoulds. And there are plenty. In his arms my haunted past fades away and suddenly anything is possible.
Now he’s a huge rockstar, living the celebrity life of a successful artist. Once again, both of us are going through a personal revolution, and the heat between us is still there, and more explosive than I’d ever dreamed possible.
Beck dares me to escape with him, and I take him up on it. I didn’t expect this kind of wild, decadent, indulgence. Or an amazing professional challenge that he makes possible for me. He supports me, encourages me in my work. I’ve never had that before.
This started out as no strings attached fun. Our lives are so different. It could never work. Only I’m not so sure anymore, with him I feel things I've never let myself feel before. But the one thing I do know is that waiting for me back home in South Dakota is ugly, harsh reality.
- Pre-Order WHIRLWIND -
Beck & Violet’s steamy, adventurous friends-to-lovers romance then concludes in book 3, Whisperwind of The Wind & the Roar Trilogy, available on October 20th
Books by Cat Porter
- Lock & Key MC Romance Series -
Lock & Key
Random & Rare
Iron & Bone
Blood & Rust
Fury
Lock & Key Christmas
Lock & Key - The Complete Series Boxed Set
Boxed Set of books 1-4
- Lock & Key’s Legends of Meager Series -
Blast to the past of the Lock & Key series
The Dust and the Roar
The Fire and the Roar
The Year of Everything
- The Wind & the Roar Trilogy -
Friends-to-Lovers Rockstar Romance
Freefall
Whirlwind
Whisperwind
Dagger in the Sea
Mediterranean Romantic Suspense Adventure
Wolfsgate
Historical Romance
About the Author
Cat Porter was born and raised in New York City, but also spent a few years in Texas and Europe along the way, which made her as wanderlusty as her parents. As an introverted, only child, she had very big, but very secret dreams for herself. She graduated from Vassar College, was a struggling actress, an art gallery girl, special events planner, freelance writer, restaurant hostess, and had all sorts of other crazy jobs all hours of the day and night to help make those dreams come true. She has two children’s books traditionally published under her maiden name.
She now lives on a beach outside of Athens, Greece with her husband, three children, and three huge Cane Corsos, freaks out regularly, still daydreams way too much, and now truly doesn’t give AF. She is addicted to reading, classic films, cafes on the beach, Greek islands, Instagram, Pearl Jam and U2, bourbon she brought home from Nashville and whiskey she brought home from Ireland, and reallllllly good coffee. Writing has always kept her somewhat sane, extremely happy, and a productive member of society.
for more more more
www.catporter.eu
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