by J Marie
Scott stood behind his head to spot. The fucking thing had three one hundred
pounds of weight on each side. His muscles rippled and tensed under the pressure,
and I found myself having a hard time concentrating on why I was here in the first
place. I just watched Darren put Scott into a submission, and now, he was bench-
pressing six hundred pounds like it was whatever. Fuck.
“Jaden,” he said, grunting after the tenth rep, and I realized I’d been staring for
far too long. Trying to focus on what I came here for, I folded my arms and licked
my suddenly dry lips.
“I just wanted to see if you would mind if I went outside for a while.”
Darren finished his set before returning the bar to the stand and sat up,
regarding me closely. His breathing was a little heavy, but it was even, and the
sweat dripping down his lightly tanned skin was nothing short of a distraction.
“Have you been a good girl today?” he asked, his brow slightly raising as a smirk
formed across his lips. I narrowed my eyes at him before I made light of his asinine
question.
I looked up toward my right in thought and placed my chin in my hand. “Hmm
… I don’t think I’ve threatened anyone today. Does that count?”
Darren chuckled, giving me that shark-like grin of his, the one that warmed my
stomach. “Give me fifteen minutes and then I’ll be up to go with you,” he said,
laying back down to bench another set.
I watched him push the weight up and down a few more times before I shook my
head of the sight. “Mutant,” I mumbled and then walked out the door.
“Lightweight!” he yelled back, but I just shook my head and kept walking. At
least, he was in an agreeable mood.
I headed back into our bedroom, intent on listening to some music and watching
out the window while I waited for Darren. True to his word, fifteen minutes later, he
appeared in the bedroom and headed straight for the bathroom for a quick shower.
He was out in less than five minutes. I kept my eyes on the window knowing he’d
emerged from the bathroom with nothing but a towel around his waist. I didn’t
want him catching me checking out every stupid chiseled inch of him. Another
three minutes and he was dressed in a light gray pullover sweater that hugged him
like a second skin, dark jeans, and black leather boots. He laid his heavy black
jacket on the bed, along with mine, gloves, and a hat.
“Put your coat on, please,” he ordered, now draping his over his shoulders.
Holy shit, did he just say please?
Happy that he’d actually asked nicely, I got up and did as he said and zipped up
the parka, put on my gloves, but grimaced at his selection of hats. It was light
purple with the little fuzzy pom-pom on top. The fuck …
Taking the hat, I rounded the bed, intent on choosing a different hat, but Darren
grabbed my arm and stopped me.
“Uh, uh,” he said shaking his head.
“Oh, come on, Darren! I’m not twelve!”
He positively glared me. “Are you accusing me of being a pedophile?”
I felt my gut take a backflip. “No, I just—”
“Then stop arguing and put the damn hat on,” he said darkly and began to lead
me away from the closet and out into the hallway.
“But why does it have to be this one?”
“So I can easily spot you, that’s why; now, let’s go before I change my mind.”
I huffed and then begrudgingly slid the hat on over my head, trying to ignore the
heat in my cheeks from irritation. Why couldn’t I just have a plain black hat like
his? Why did everything I wear have to stick out with color and impractical designs?
He could easily spot me wearing a bright red hat just as well.
Ignoring my evident resistance, Darren escorted me downstairs to the sliding
door that led out to a stone patio. It looked like someone had shoveled a path
outside, revealing a slated pathway for us to follow. But I wasn’t interested in
following someone else’s path. Naturally, I wanted to lay out my own, and
naturally, that wasn’t allowed.
Darren slid the door aside and allowed me to walk out first. The chill of the air
kissed my face, and I watched enthralled as my breath left behind a misty trail from
my mouth. God, I missed the snow. Fall was my favorite season, but winter always
seemed to bring a little bit of magic with it—magic that reminded me of home.
Not bothering to wait for Darren, I walked off on my own, observing everything
and taking in every square inch of the land around me. The grounds weren’t as big
as the estate in California, but everything was still gorgeous nonetheless. An area
had a tall stone fireplace with benches and chairs all around, while snow-covered
pine trees bordered along the property. A covered hot tub near the house settled
into the wood patio while a few stone benches were scattered across the property
here and there. But the best of all was the array of mountains that surrounded the
grounds. I couldn’t stop looking up every few seconds to admire them all over
again. Even the exterior of the cabin itself was something to praise.
Turning back around, I suddenly caught sight of myself in the window with the
stupid frou-frou purple hat. I immediately scoffed and snatched the damn thing off
my head, pulling the hood of my coat up over my head instead.
“Hey, put that back on,” Darren said as he came toward me.
“No way. It looks ridiculous,” I replied as I tried to stuff the thing in my coat
pocket. “Hey!”
Darren’s hands seized the hat halfway into my pocket, pulled my hood back, and
roughly slid the hat back over my head.
“Keep it on. I don’t need you getting sick out here,” he admonished. “Now, let’s
go.”
Darren continued our walk, expecting me to follow him, but I had different plans
now. Bending down, I grabbed a handful of perfectly packable snow and quickly
formed a good-sized ball in my hand.
“You’re such a bully!” I yelled and threw the snowball right square into Darren’s
back. The snowball exploded all over his jacket, causing him to immediately halt in
his tracks. Slowly turning on his heels, Darren’s expression was that of confusion
and amusement.
“Did you just throw a snowball at me?”
“Yes,” I admitted standing tall and firm.
“Big mistake,” he replied, a playful glare on his face. He then bent down,
grabbed a heap of snow in his giant hands and hurled his own snowball at me. It
came so fast, I’d barely been able to dodge it, hunching my shoulders and taking
the light impact to my upper arm and shoulder. Shaking the snow from my arm, I
squared my shoulders and scowled at him.
“Okay. Now, it’s on!” I shouted, and soon, a full-out war ensued.
For a good twenty minutes, Darren and I hauled snowballs at each other like we
were both seventeen again. We ducked and dodged each other, hiding behind trees
and parts of the cabin, and though he was able to hit me several times, I think the
only time I actually hit him was the first shot fired. He was such a big target; I
didn’t understand how I could miss him. His snowballs overshadowed mine by
twice the amount of snow and flew far faster tha
n mine did. He really was a
mutant.
Throughout the entire snowball fight, I couldn’t help but find myself actually
enjoying it, even though I was sharing the experience with Darren. I knew I wasn’t
the only one sharing the same feeling. I swore I could hear Darren laughing.
Whether it was at me and my shitty aim or the fact that he was actually having fun,
I didn’t know, but either way, it had to count for something.
I’d been crouched behind the fireplace packing several snowballs when I
suddenly noticed the rain of fire had stopped … how long ago had it stopped? Panic
took over as I grabbed two snowballs, one in each hand, and peeked my head
around the fireplace. No Darren in sight. Oh, fuck, where did he go? He couldn’t
hide very well behind anything. Nothing was big enough to conceal him. I kept my
body crouched low, my eyes scanning in every direction, searching everywhere for
him, but he was nowhere to be found. I felt myself straighten. Maybe he went
inside to take a call?
And that was when I felt myself get tackled to the snow-covered ground. I
groaned aloud and quickly fought to regain my composure, but with the winter
jacket and snow, there wasn’t much room to give. I still somehow managed to wrap
my arm around the back of his neck. He lifted his hips just enough for me to
squeeze my legs through and wrap them around his waist to keep myself stationary
and as close to his body as possible. I wasn’t about to let myself get slammed to the
ground as Scott had. But Darren was a cheater and eventually dug his big gloved
fingers into my side, essentially tickling me.
I gasped and squirmed, gripping him tighter. “You cheating bastard!” I shrieked.
I moved my leg from around his waist and planted my foot at his hip and pushed
myself up to get away from his digging fingers. He was laughing, of course, because
no matter where I went, he continued to fucking tickle me until my grip around his
neck loosened enough for him to flip me around so I was trapped under him with
absolutely nowhere to go.
“You’ve been breached, little girl.” He chuckled above me, the smile on his face
so evident in his accomplishment.
“Never say die,” I replied with a smirk.
Darren sighed in satisfaction of his conquest and practically beamed down at me
for what felt like the longest time. It made my breath hitch in my throat.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he suddenly said out of nowhere.
I looked up at him, trying to think of something better to say than the obvious
thank you. He was watching at me with such an expression on his face, one I had no
idea where to place.
“I’m more than just a pretty face, you know,” I teased.
“And isn’t that just my luck,” he replied. The heat of his gaze penetrated me
deep in the pits of my stomach. It was the look of a man on the prowl, the hunter
sweeping in for the kill and me, the ever-challenging prey he’d just caught.
In one fluid motion, Darren stood, pulling me up with him, and held me close.
Those eyes, dark and menacing, swallowed me up in a whirlpool of desire and
obsession, and I felt my breaths suddenly becoming heavier. Looking up into those
dark, brooding eyes, I felt sickened when I realized I wanted him to kiss me. It made
my heart pound in my chest. I hated how the only thing Darren had to do to make
my heart race was to give me a certain look, one that petrified and enthralled me
simultaneously.
“At least, you can admit it,” I whispered, but the lust in my own voice threw me
off.
Without warning, Darren’s hand curled around the back of my neck and pulled
me to him. I couldn’t help but gasp as his lips met mine, making me melt into him
and giving him exactly what he wanted—what I wanted. Forcing my mouth open
wider, his tongue delved into mine, seeking and destroying any chance of denying
how much I loved it.
“Yes, at least I can voluntarily admit to something,” Darren murmured,
breaking the kiss. “Unlike you … who can’t even admit to how much you love the
way I touch you.” His chin rested against my forehead while the butterflies in my
stomach swarmed like locusts. A fight was brewing again. I could feel it.
“Which part?” I asked bravely, my eyes down low as I fought to catch my breath.
“The tender way you break my bones or the way you lovingly force orgasms from
my body?”
Darren instantly gripped me tighter and jerked me toward him. “Which do you
prefer, Jaden? Pleasure or pain? Because I’m beginning to think you’re a glutton for
punishment.”
“Maybe I am,” I replied defiantly. “Maybe I like the pain because it reminds me
of why I still hate you so much. Why I should still hate you.”
“You didn’t hate me five minutes ago,” he countered confidently.
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter what mask I wear, Darren. I might let
myself go for a moment, but eventually, the truth always finds its way back. I’m
grateful that you’ve done all this for me,” I said, eying the scene around us, “but if
you think this changes anything between us, you’re wrong. Because all of this is
your mask, and I’m smart enough to know when I’m being played.”
Darren sighed, releasing a heavy breath through his nose. The weight of his eyes
on me was enough to make me look away, regretting my bravery. This man had
chained me, beaten me, raped me, killed my uncle, and then killed me. And he
wanted me to admit I wanted his touch? I should torch myself for admitting such a
stupid and reckless idea even in my head. What the fuck was wrong with me?
… survival …
No … fuck no …
“Boss!” I heard someone call from the sliding door of the house. Darren
reluctantly released me from his gaze and turned to look over his shoulder.
“There’s an important call for you,” said a guard holding the door open. Darren
nodded and turned back to me, disappointment filling his eyes. He leaned in to kiss
me on the side of my temple.
“Pain it is, then,” he whispered coldly and stepped away from me without
another glance.
I felt my body shiver, and I didn’t know if it was from his absence or the promise
in his words. When he’d fully disappeared from my sight, Romero and Alex
appeared from the sliding door. They came over to me, shoulders hunched from the
cold as they did not wear jackets. Great.
“Mr. Davis would like for you to come inside now,” he said. I nodded and
followed him in without argument. “You’re to remain in your room for the rest of
the day.”
Shocker.
I went back to our room, changing out of my winter clothes and grabbing my
iPod and a deck of cards from my bag. Sitting on the floor in front of the fire, I
plugged in my headphones and turned up my music—Evanescence to soothe the
dark shadow consuming me.
One by one, I stacked the cards on top of each other, carefully balancing each
one as I stumbled from one thought to the next. It was odd how calming it was just
building a house of cards, how distracting it could be, yet it gave me the focus I
needed to collect my thoughts.
> God, I was stupid. I wanted to battle so badly, to remain defiant and stubborn
and for what? So I could convince Darren to hurt me more so I could continue to
drown in my own hatred for him? What kind of self-destructive shit was that?
Maybe I really did need therapy.
How could I allow myself to get past all the torment he’d put me through? I’d
been able to block it out before, too afraid of upsetting him and igniting his wrath.
But now that he was trying to treat me with more luxury, the guilt of enjoying it
settled in because I knew why I shouldn’t accept it, enjoy it. It would cost me way
too much.
I just didn’t want to like Darren, even if it was only for a second. I didn’t want to
appreciate a single ounce of his lavish hospitality or the gifts he granted me … or
even the pleasure he could give me. I didn’t even want his mercy. If I accepted
anything he gave me with genuine happiness, then it felt like I was somehow
forgiving him for everything he’d ever done to me. Like an abusive husband buying
his wife a diamond necklace for giving her a black eye the night before. Gifts were
not Band-Aids, and they certainly weren’t apologies. They were sparkly pieces of
manipulation, and I would not take the bait. They didn’t make anything better and
neither would this goddamn trip.
But still, I lived in a world that required more compromising on my part than
ever. Darren rarely compromised. It was his way, and it was the only way, yet here I
was, sitting in front of a fire in Anchorage, Alaska, surrounded by mountains and
snow on Christmas Eve. Darren didn’t have to bring me here; he didn’t have to
have the house decorated for me. For all fucks given, he could have left me in that
fucking cage in the basement until I forgot my own name. But again, here I was.
Some time later, I heard the door open and saw Romero from the corner of my
eye bring in my dinner. He set it on the table in the middle of the room and then
walked out. I never even touched it. I had no appetite, and I didn’t want to leave the
warmth of my spot.
My card house grew and grew in size and length. Occasionally a stack would fall,
but I’d fix it quickly, making it bigger and better each time. It was difficult when I
fought with myself, wrestling over how mentally strong I was. I worried about
