The N Word (Redefining Me Book 2)

by Michelle MacQueen

  Avery had been there in her room begging her to date him. It was fake, she reminded herself, but for just a moment, she let herself believe he wanted her, that he’d choose his nerdy neighbor over the beautiful cheerleader he was trying to get back.

  But who was she kidding? Meghan was every boy’s dream. Long legs, blond hair, and a kind of confidence Nari could only imagine.

  With a sigh, she peered over the edge of her bed. Avery was gone. She didn’t know what she expected. They weren’t a real couple. Of course he wouldn’t stick around her house on the first day of their winter break.

  Her phone buzzed on her desk, and she jumped toward it, her heart sinking when she realized it was the wrong St. Germaine brother calling her. Shoving the disappointment away, she let guilt replace it. Nicky was a friend, and she should be happier talking to him than his too-hot-for-his-own-good brother.

  Swiping her thumb across the screen, she brought the phone to her ear. “Hey, Nick.”

  “Nari,” he started, his voice panicked. “Have you seen my brother? He didn’t come home last night, and I’m worried.”

  She stared at the discarded pillow and rumpled blanket on her floor, wanting to keep their night together to herself for some reason she couldn’t explain. “I’m sure he’s fine.”

  “You don’t understand. Some…stuff went down at my house last night.”

  “I know.” The words slipped out before she could stop them.

  Nicky didn’t say anything for a long moment. “You…know? Avery told you?”

  “About your dad? Yeah.”

  He blew out a breath, the sound like a rush of wind coming through the phone. “You two really are dating, aren’t you?”

  “I guess so.” She hated lying to anyone, let alone Nicky, but she’d agreed to help Avery and wouldn’t go back on her word.

  “Nari, I’m…glad.”

  “Glad?”

  “Yeah. Avery… Part of me is worried he’s just going to hurt you, but the other part wants him to have someone he can count on. My brother doesn’t always have the highest opinion of himself, but he has spent our entire lives looking out for me. If anyone can show him he’s a better guy than he thinks he is, it’s you. I want him to want to be a good guy. People like Meghan only bring out the worst in him.”

  Nari couldn’t take it anymore. Nicky was the first person she lied to about the relationship, and it was already too much. She wasn’t going to be the person who made Avery St. Germaine want something more in life. She wouldn’t be his conscience. Instead, she was just the girl he was using. So, why hadn’t she told him no?

  “I need to go, Nicky.” She hung up before he could get another word in. Her hands shook as she set the phone down and grabbed the sweatshirt from the back of her desk chair, shrugging it on. Tying her hair into a ponytail, she left her room.

  Her mom always made a big breakfast to celebrate the first day of any school break. It was a tradition in their house and one of the few times her mom let up on the pressure she put on her daughter.

  Nari walked into the kitchen and froze. Avery stood at the stove next to her mother, spatula in hand as he prepared to flip the pancakes. The two of them talked as if they were old friends, laughing as they cooked.

  Bowls of scrambled eggs and crispy bacon sat on the table next to a pile of a banana and apple salad. How long had they been up and cooking?

  “What’s going on?” Nari asked, suspicion in her tone.

  Her mother turned to her with a smile, the usual tension absent from her face. “Good morning, Nari. Your boyfriend here just stopped by this morning for breakfast.”

  “My…” She swallowed. “Boyfriend.”

  Avery flipped the remaining pancake onto an already crowded plate and turned toward her, closing the distance between them. He smirked at her confused expression. “Sorry, I spilled the beans to your mom.” He didn’t sound sorry at all.

  “Nari,” her mom chastised. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were seeing such a nice young man. You know your father and I have always loved Avery.”

  As if on cue, her father appeared from his study, giving her a genuine smile as he seated himself at the table. He was a man of few words, but he didn’t need to speak to show his approval.

  Guilt curled in Nari’s gut. Avery leaned down, pressing a kiss to her cheek and dropping his voice. “Don’t worry. I left through the window and went around to knock on the front door.” That made sense. They didn’t know he spent the night. She wondered if her parents hero worship would dim if they knew Avery had spent the night in their daughter’s room.

  Nari backed away from Avery, needing to avoid his heated gaze. She didn’t know how he could make her feel like he felt something for her when she knew he didn’t.

  “What are you kids up to today?” Nari’s dad asked as they all sat and passed around the food.

  Nari shrugged, sticking a forkful of pancakes in her mouth with a groan. She lifted her eyes to find Avery watching her across the table, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. Dropping her eyes back to her food, she tried to ignore him.

  That was impossible when he spoke. “We’re spending the day together.”

  Nari’s eyes snapped to his again. “We are?”

  “Of course. You’re my girlfriend, and I want to show you off.”

  Her parents looked to each other as if they were both so proud their daughter caught someone like Avery. But she hadn’t caught him. He only wanted to show her off to sell their fake relationship. Still, she nodded, unable to say no to spending the day with the boy she’d once spent every day with. They might never date for real, but maybe they could get back to what they once were.

  Besides, after everything Avery told her the night before, she got the feeling he needed her as much as she needed him.

  She almost laughed to herself. Spending the day with Avery St. Germaine, golden boy himself—what could go wrong?

  12

  Avery

  Avery’s first day as Nari Won Song’s fake boyfriend was a disaster of epic proportions. She almost called the whole thing off after they ran into Meghan and her pack of mean girls at the mall. Avery wanted help finding a Christmas gift for his mother—something great that he could actually afford with his new budget.

  Nari spent most of the afternoon laughing at him while she tried to teach him how to bargain shop. Her family had money too—just look at their house—but she didn’t like to flaunt it. It was frustrating how ignorant he was about how much things cost. He picked up an Hermes silk scarf at Neiman Marcus. It was perfect for his mom, but when he looked at the price tag, his stomach sank.

  “That can’t be right. Is this in dollars?” He turned his wide eyes on Nari. “As in four hundred bucks? For a yard of fabric?”

  “I told you we’re in the wrong store for this mission,” Nari said, turning her nose up at the price tag for a pair of Marc Jacobs sunglasses she clearly adored. “They don’t call it Needless MarkUps for nothing.” She returned the sunglasses to the display case.

  “You could afford those, why put it back?” Avery frowned, thinking she might feel bad about buying something for herself in front of him.

  Nari shrugged. “They’re adorable, but I refuse to pay that much for a pair of sunglasses I’m just going to lose. I don’t really buy into labels either. It’s all overpriced and just not me, you know?”

  “I like that you don’t care about this stuff. It reminds me that there are much more important things. It’s just, this was Mom’s favorite store.” Avery’s shoulders slumped. “And she’s had a really rough year.”

  “You know they have some of this stuff at Goodwill for practically nothing?” Nari said. “We should go there and see what bargains we can find.”

  “Goodwill?” Meghan’s familiar mocking laughter rang out behind them. “The St. Germaines wouldn’t step foot inside a Goodwill unless it was to donate something they couldn’t give away.”

  “Meghan,” Avery said her
name like a curse. “What are you doing here?”

  “Same as you, silly. Shopping…with friends.” She cast a disgusted look at Nari. “We’re stocking up for the ski trip. I still can’t believe you’re not going.”

  “You know very well Nari is my girlfriend, not just a friend,” Avery said, taking a step closer to Nari’s side.

  “Whatever.” Meghan plucked the Hermes scarf from his hand. “Your mother will love this. You should buy it.”

  “I left my wallet at home,” he rushed to explain. The warmth in his face gave him away. The last thing he wanted was for Meghan to find out he was broke. But the look of disappointment on Nari’s face shamed him even more. He just wasn’t ready for people to know the money was gone. Senior year was half over. If he could make it to graduation without losing face, he’d be home free. Nari couldn’t understand what it was like to be at the top of the social hierarchy at Twin Rivers High. He had a long way to fall, and it scared him.

  “I’ll get it for you.” Meghan shoved the scarf at the nearest sales girl behind the display case. “God knows you’ve paid for enough things for me. Least I can do.” She plunked down her dad’s credit card to pay for the ridiculously overpriced scrap of fabric along with a dozen other things for her ski trip—including the sunglasses Nari had admired.

  “No thanks.” Avery took Nari’s hand and turned to walk away.

  “Everyone feels sorry for you, Ave,” she called after them. “You’re spiraling. Better watch the company you keep, or you’re going to be a nobody just like your girlfriend.”

  “I felt sorry for me too. So, I started watching the company I keep the night I broke up with you,” Avery shot back, wrapping his arm around Nari’s waist.

  Avery held Nari close to his side all the way to the parking lot. Meghan knew how to push his buttons, but he wasn’t fooled. She was furious he was moving on with someone like Nari. If he’d chosen one of Meghan’s friends, she’d likely let it go. She was at the top of the chain at Twin Rivers High, so in her opinion, there was nowhere for Avery to go but down. That was why he chose Nari—at first. Nari was everything Meghan wasn’t, and it would drive her insane trying to figure out why he’d dumped her for Nari.

  “You need to work on your communication skills,” Nari said, staring out the window.

  “How so?” Avery asked, gripping the steering wheel. How could she be so hateful, talking about Nari like she wasn’t even there?

  “Your tactics for making her jealous might need some rethinking. If you want to get her back, you can’t talk to her like that.”

  Avery cranked the engine and backed out of the parking spot. “Who says I want her back?”

  “Oh.. Um.” Nari frowned. “I thought that was the whole point of this. I guess… I just don’t know about this whole thing, Avery.”

  “Don’t ditch me yet, Nari.” He forced a smile. “I’m not done messing with her. And next time, speak up for yourself. Don’t let her treat you like that.”

  “I don’t want a next time. I’m not like you, Avery. I can’t think of the perfect comeback right away. I’m more about flying under the radar so people like Meghan don’t notice me.”

  “And then I dragged you into the spotlight with that dumb picture idea. I’m sorry about that. All of this.” He drove across town and away from all the expensive shops. “I just… I never knew she was so horrible. She hid that side of herself for a long time. I just want her to know she can’t treat people like garbage.”

  “I don’t know if I want to be the one to teach her that lesson, Avery. This world you come from... It’s not me.”

  “And thank God for that,” he said, chancing a glance at her. “I’d rather spend one day being your fake boyfriend and hanging out with you than another minute with that callous, hateful bitch. You have more genuine kindness in your little finger than she has in her entire body.”

  “Then what are we even doing with this fake relationship if you don’t want her back?”

  “Teaching her a lesson and getting everyone to stop obsessing over our stupid breakup.” Avery wanted to say more, but he didn’t want to worry Nari. The truth was, he needed this relationship to last a while longer to make sure it didn’t backfire on Nari again. If they broke it off now, he was afraid Meghan and her minions would make Nari’s life a living hell, and he wasn’t going to put her through that again.

  “Where are we going?” Nari asked.

  “Goodwill. I still need a gift for my mom, and I am hopeless at this bargain hunting thing.”

  “You have to think of it like a sport.” Nari grinned, turning in her seat toward him.

  “Shopping is not a sport.” Avery laughed, happy to get back to their date the way it was before Meghan showed up. Fake date, Avery, he reminded himself.

  “Yeah, not the way you do it. You have to be in it for the long haul and the reward for all the hard work is the awesome things you get to buy at the end of the day.”

  “The day? No, we’re spending like a half hour here, tops. Then it’s my turn to pay you back with some tutoring.”

  “I’d rather go shopping,” Nari insisted.

  “It’s saying a lot that I’d rather study on holiday break than spend an entire day shopping.”

  “I need at least an hour,” Nari countered.

  “Then I’m going to need food afterwards before we study.”

  “Deal. I shop, you teach, and I’ll get us lunch.”

  “I can get us lunch,” Avery said, thinking he had just enough cash to cover the gift and lunch for two.

  “Well, that’s not fair to you. I get lunch and tutoring?”

  “Okay, then you get lunch and I buy you a Christmas present while we’re here.”

  “Deal. You need a Christmas present for your fake girlfriend anyway.”

  “Deal.” He could get used to their easygoing relationship—or whatever this was happening between them.

  “Blah-blah, blah-blah. Blah. That’s what I hear when you try to explain basic algebra.” Nari threw her pencil down in frustration. “I’m in pre-calculus, and I can’t even do pre-algebra. This is a nightmare.”

  “I swear if you could get the order of operations down you would find everything else easy.” Avery scrubbed a hand over his face. It was Christmas Eve, and they’d hit the tutoring hard over the last week. She was a decent student in most subjects; she just needed to learn how to study more effectively. All the stress of getting her grades up had made her overthink everything. And then, there was math. She was awful. He’d never seen anyone this bad at math. It was impressive.

  “Order of whats-its?”

  “Order of operations. It’s like the ground rule of all things math, and you don’t know it.”

  “You say that like you’re surprised.” She blinked her dark eyes at him. “I believe I told you I don’t know math.”

  “I guess I thought you were exaggerating.” He cracked a smile, trying not to laugh.

  “Go ahead, laugh it up, big guy. But if you can tell me this order of operations crap is some kind of magic fix, I’ll kiss you this time.”

  “I will take that bet.” Avery grinned.

  “That wasn’t a bet, bet.” Nari rolled her eyes. “Just tell me what this order of operations thing is.”

  “PEMDAS.”

  “Bless you.” Nari frowned.

  “It’s a mnemonic device. Parenthesis, Exponents, Multiplication, Division, Addition, and Subtraction. PEMDAS.”

  “Sounds like a lot of work.”

  “This is the most basic math, Nari. You should have learned this in eighth grade. How did you make it all the way to pre-calculus?”

  “Don’t make me feel worse.” She shoved the textbook across the kitchen table. “My parents insist I take all the advanced classes Twin Rivers High offers. They meet with the guidance counselor every year to plan my schedule.”

  “Well, it’s not your fault, Nari. It’s your teachers who should be ashamed of themselves for letting you get this far
without realizing you needed a little extra attention.”

  “I’m usually okay in class. Most of the time, it makes sense, but then when it comes to homework and tests, it doesn’t make sense anymore. So, they just think I don’t study.”

  “Well, we’re going to fix this.” Avery scooted the textbook back in front of her. “This rule works for every algebra-based problem you’ll ever do. No matter how simple or complicated the problem is, you start with what’s in the parenthesis and then move to the exponents and each of the PEMDAS rules in order. When you move through the problem, breaking it into its simplest parts, it gets a lot easier. Here try this one.” Avery pointed to one of the lengthier equations.

  “Ugh.” Nari’s shoulders grew tense as she copied the problem onto her paper.

  “Relax. It’s not going to kill you.”

  “Okay, so just the parenthesis first?” She gave him a skeptical look as she started to work through the problem.

  Avery held back his laughter as he watched her agonize over the simple math. She was just so irresistibly cute sometimes.

  “I get forty-two, but it’s wrong.”

  “No, you got it!” Avery smiled so big it was like he’d done the impossible.

  “No, I didn’t. I never get it right.” She pulled the book back in front of her to look up the answer in the back.

  “Avery! I got it right!”

  “Told you.” He loved the way her eyes lit up when something finally made sense. “You’re not bad at math, Nari, you just have overworked teachers too busy to notice when someone falls behind.”

  “It’s a fluke.” Nari snatched the textbook and scribbled out the next two problems. She flew through the work and got them both right.

  “See, you totally got it.”

  “It can’t be that easy?”

  “It gets harder, but now that you know this fundamental rule, you’ll be able to keep up. We still have a lot of work to do to get you doing high school math, but this is huge progress. And…I think you owe me a kiss.” Avery sat back in his chair, arms folded across his chest.