Adelaide folded her arms and gave Nickie a stern look. “Let me guess. This is the part where you tell us you don’t need us anyway?”
Nickie smirked, shaking her head. “Actually, it’s the part where I tell you I value you as friends and as my crew. And that I’d miss the hell out of you if any of you decided to leave, but I’d do my best not to be a dick about it if you chose that way.”
Meredith cut in over the speakers. “That’s progress.”
Nickie glared around at vaguely speaker-height. “I muted you for a reason. You were annoying the shit out of me with your nagging.”
Adelaide covered her mouth with her hands. “You can do that?”
Nickie snickered. “She’s been annoying you, too?”
Adelaide turned bright red.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Nickie concluded. “Sometimes we just need to work things out for ourselves, Meredith.”
“Well, I never.” Meredith huffed. “If nobody wants my advice—“
“It’s not that we don’t want it,” Adelaide explained. “We just don’t want it in the form of ‘I told you so’ all the time.”
Meredith’s tone turned to ice. “Maybe when we return to High Tortuga, I will join CEREBRO. How would you like that?”
Nickie rolled her eyes and un-muted Meredith. Is that better?
It’s a start, Meredith conceded.
High Tortuga, Space Fleet Base, Nickie’s Office
Nickie entered her office and headed straight for her desk, growling at the protest her chair made when she flung herself down on it.
Her grandma was going to be pissed that she’d skipped out on dinner, but the thought of playing nice with Giselle was a little more than she could stomach right now. Besides, she knew Jean well enough to guess that the awkwardness factor would have been quadrupled by the presence of her mother, whether Lillian was there or not.
There was no way she was going to talk to her mother. Meredith, her grandmother, and even her uncle could try to manipulate her into doing so all they liked. They weren’t going to get anywhere.
She took her ball out of the top drawer of the desk and began her old comforting ritual of bouncing it off the wall and catching it while she processed her emotions.
At least they had been open about their intentions. She valued Grim, and she believed he was there to look out for her, but she knew for sure now that their first meeting hadn’t been an accident, thanks to her grandma.
Nickie’s careful questioning of Grim on the way back from QT2 had helped her check off almost every name on her list of suspects, leaving just one possibility. Her instinct to wring it out of him was countered by the secret she had, however.
She couldn’t exactly lose her shit with her Aunt Tabitha.
Thinking of Tabitha reminded Nickie she hadn’t read her aunt’s last message. She opened it in her HUD and took her time reading about Todd’s latest exploits, how Tabitha’s students were—or weren’t—progressing, and other anecdotes about her life on Devon.
Nickie lingered over her reply, finding it difficult to talk to Tabitha when she felt like she could only say a fraction of what was in her mind. She supposed her guilt about keeping Barnabas’ offer from the crew had a part in it, but not so much as to cause the nausea that rose in her stomach when she considered that Grim’s reason for sticking around might be down to duty and not any real feeling for her.
Why do you take your reply so seriously? Meredith enquired.
Why do you always butt in when I’m thinking? Nickie retorted. She closed the message window, the moment gone. I hope you interrupted me for a reason?
Meredith noted that she was lucky. Surely the original Meredith would have gone completely insane dealing with all of the emotional backlash she had taken from Nickie in the time since she had been reactivated. I remember when you were so much sweeter than this.
Nickie snorted. Yeah? Well, it’s getting to the point where I can’t remember when you weren’t this fucking chatty.
Meredith took Nickie’s barbs with grace. I’ll leave you to think. But I did believe you would like to know that Barnabas is on his way here.
Nickie threw the ball again. Dammit. When is he getting here?
The door opened, and Barnabas caught the ball on its rebound. “Right now, and I don’t have to be a mind reader to know you’re not happy to see me. Kindly keep your office decorations to yourself this time, if it’s not too much trouble.”
Nickie glared at him. “Why should I be happy to see you? Why are you even here? Aren’t you missing out on conspiring with my grandma to get me to go and see my mother?” She folded her arms, waiting for an answer to any of the questions she’d just rapid-fired at him.
Barnabas chuckled, making his way to the guest chair opposite Nickie’s desk. “That sounds an awful lot like paranoia,” he cautioned, getting comfortable. “You should access your EI’s therapy functions.”
Nickie glared harder. “That would be totally great as an idea—if she weren’t one of the main fucking conspirators.”
Barnabas folded his hands in his lap, remaining calm. Nickie reminded him so much of Tabitha in her younger years, it was almost painful to see her incomplete. “Do you see a correlation between everyone who is attempting to persuade you to make amends with Lillian?”
Nickie’s face was beginning to ache from all the scowling. “You’re all giant pains in my ass?” she shot back. “I’m not going to speak to that woman, and none of you can make me. What the fuck is this? Another intervention?”
She got up and stormed out of her own office before Barnabas could say another word. She was done with everybody putting in their two credits’ worth on how she should run her damned life.
Nickie’s anger ran out before long.
She found herself back in her quarters on the base, out of steam and a little bit deflated. She was well aware of how bratty it was to run to her room every time she heard something she didn’t like, but it was either that or find a way to pay another repair bill like the one for their office doors.
Meredith was unusually silent, making Nickie wonder if even her digital companion was upset with her. She was too angry to care. Still, she was here now, and she had a message to finish writing.
Nickie flopped down on her couch—the only piece of furniture in the center of an ocean of shoes and clothing—and opened her HUD. She noticed a new message icon and opened it, expecting to find some rant or another from Grim about the supply chains in her message box.
It was another message from Tabitha.
Hey, Trouble,
No reply? Guess you haven’t been doing much lately. Funny, because Barnabas told me about his offer. You don’t want to tell me about it? Hopefully, you will get to see some of Devon soon.
Nickie winced at the mention of the topic she’d skated carefully around in their messages so far. “If you only knew,” she murmured, wondering if her aunt’s apparent relaxed attitude had more to do with keeping her at arm’s length to avoid the real discussion.
She read on.
I told you a little about the situation with the Bakas. These kids are driving me crazy. And by kids, I mean the bunch of grown-ass adults I’m stuck training as my punishment for lying about helping you. You know by now it was me and Pete who sent Grim, right? I hope you’re not mad at him, since he cares about you. So does your mom. You two aren’t talking, but I bet you’re getting enough crap from Jean and Barnabas about that.
So, anyway. These numbnuts. One of them reminded me of someone. I couldn’t think who, but it came to me as I was writing this. Remember Zinshei? Blast from the past, right?
I hear Todd and Pete getting home. Don’t leave me hanging too long for a reply, okay?
T xoxo
Nickie felt no better for being reminded of the trip she had taken with Tabitha back when she was fourteen. Her main recollection of it was her mother freaking out when they got back, then handing Nickie over to her Grandad John for a heavy course of h
is boot-camp-style discipline.
She spent a while wandering around her living area, picking up after herself for no reason other than she’d bought so much clothing since she came to live on a planet with half-decent shopping that she had to arrange it all, sleep on it, or swim through to the bedroom.
A smile touched Nickie’s lips as she settled under her covers. It hadn’t been the worst trip. Tabitha had given her a taste of what it was to be a Ranger, something she had begged for since, well, forever.
The memory played through Nickie’s mind as she drifted to sleep, taking her back to what she now saw was the moment that shaped her most as a person.
The first time she’d seen what it was to live out from under anyone’s rules.
Devon, First City, The Hexagon, Underground Hangar
Tabitha entered the hangar from the elevator, Todd’s version-umpteen Pod-crib bobbing gently behind her. It was less a crib these days and more a miniature multifunction “racing” Pod, which, thanks to Tabitha and Peter, had dual controls and a sleep mode for when their little tyke had tuckered himself out. Like now.
She tiptoed aboard the ship and crept along the corridor to the bridge, hoping against hope she could get them underway without waking Todd.
No such luck, Todd stirred just as Tabitha left the elevator on the bridge level. He opened his big brown eyes and looked around in confusion. “Where are we?” he asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
Tabitha leaned over and released him from his restraints. “Hey, mi ángel. Look who woke up at last! We’re aboard Achronyx.”
Todd smiled and lifted his pudgy hands. “Can I get down?”
“Sure thing,” Tabitha told him. She lowered the Pod to the ground, and Todd clambered over the side before dashing off toward the bridge.
Tabitha set the Pod to park itself in an alcove and headed after him. “Ready to take a trip with Achronyx?” she called. He would tire himself out again if she let him run free, just like he had on the way here.
Todd ran back to Tabitha and gripped her hand tightly, panting slightly from his exertions. “Yeah! We going far? To see Gramma?”
Tabitha nodded. “Yeah, honey. We’re visiting Aunt Lillian, as well as Grandma Jean.”
Her son’s face lost a little bit of its shine at the mention of his aunt. “Is she gonna kiss me?” He shrugged and smiled. “She pretends to be grumpy, but she’s not.”
Tabitha smiled, in love with the way her son saw the best in everyone. She wondered for a second if Nickie had changed her stance on her mom since she messaged last. Probably not, but Tabitha had a couple more tricks up her sleeve yet.
Like this visit.
“Is Kevin there?” Todd asked.
Tabitha picked him up and nuzzled his soft cheek. “Probably not, but we’ll see him soon. Okay?” She turned a circle, enjoying the peal of laughter Todd gave as she spun him around. “What would you like to do while Mama and Achronyx get us on our way?”
Todd pointed at the corner of the bridge she’d had remodeled as his play area. “Wanna make a…demon.” He waved his arms around to demonstrate. “With a swishy tail and big, big teeths. She’ll scare Aunt Lillian so she doesn’t want to kiss me.”
Tabitha chuckled and set him down on the thick matting. “That’s worth a try, but I never saw anything scare your Aunt Lillian. Show me when you’re done?”
Todd nodded in that exaggerated way small children do, then got to digging out his modeling putty while Tabitha got to work.
Tabitha glanced at Todd a few moments later, smiling at the energy he was putting into beating his lump of modeling putty into submission. Becoming a mother had given her an understanding she hadn’t had before. It had changed her. Not too much, she hoped, but enough for her to see her hubris in jumping in thinking to fix Nickie like a bit of faulty code.
The weight of unfulfilled duty she’d carried since failing Nickie was a little lighter these days. She’d fucked up, but everything she’d done since to make up for that failure was starting to bear fruit.
“Whoever said hindsight was a beautiful thing had no freaking clue what they were talking about,” she muttered softly.
She knew exactly when she’d missed her chance.
The name “Zinshei” had been rattling around in her head ever since she’d last written to Nickie and worked out it was the wily Noel-ni Fu’Ksi reminded her of. The memory of that mission had been popping up whenever she least expected it since then, growing in texture and clarity each time it replayed and compounding the mistake she’d made.
It didn’t matter to Tabitha what Pete, Bethany Anne, or anyone else told her. She was responsible, whether or not she’d realized it at the time.
After all, she was the one who’d exposed Nickie to the dark side.
Chapter 7 Tabitha and Merry
High Tortuga, Spaceport (ten years previously)
S.O.S.
That was all Lillian’s message had said.
So, of course, Tabitha was on her way from High Tortuga to the Meredith Reynolds. She had business to take care of for Stephen regarding Lerr’ek on her return, but she wasn’t about to turn down Lillian’s plea for help.
I still don’t see why we have to take this…junker, Achronyx bitched as Tabitha approached the ship they were taking.
Tabitha looked the generic ship over. There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s got everything your ship has. She scanned the specs in her HUD as the ramp began to extend from the hatch above her head. Well, mostly.
Achronyx made a raspberry. It’s got no style. I like my stripe. It gives out a certain message.
Tabitha snickered at the AI’s vanity. What, that there’s a crazy-ass Ranger coming for you? We’re completely illegal in the Federation, Achronyx. That’s not really gonna hit the subtle vibe we’re going for. Sorry, it’s the natural look for you until we get back.
You’re not even a bit sorry, the AI grumped. This isn’t fair. How would you like to wear that Torcellan disguise again? For weeks?
Um, no. Tabitha flicked her hair back and headed up the ramp. But you get to ride along with me, so you know, it’s not a complete suckfest.
I wish I had eyes so I could roll them, Achronyx stated flatly. But we’re clear to depart, so I might as well stop prolonging the agony.
Tabitha rolled hers for them both. You’re such an ass, Achronyx.
Right back at you, he replied. But you’re my ass, so it’s okay.
Tabitha wished there was a way to give him the finger that wasn’t essentially just flipping herself off for anyone around to see. I could have my chip fixed so you’re stuck in the ship all the time again if you like?
Achronyx snickered. Did I mention that those pants look really good on you?
Tabitha smirked as she boarded the ship. Suck-up.
Yollin Space
They exited the Gate and joined the long, spiraling line at the Meredith Reynolds. She finally docked a few hours later using a fake ID and made her way through the station to Lillian’s home, keeping herself covered under a heavy cloak.
It was past midnight station time when she reached the pleasantly-appointed quarters on the residential level where Lillian and Merry lived.
Tabitha frowned at seeing the lights still on despite the late hour. I was feeling bad about waking Lillian up, she murmured as she approached the house. But I don’t think that will be a problem.
She may be working, Achronyx supplied.
Probably, Tabitha agreed. She knocked lightly on the door in case Lillian had just forgotten to switch the light off.
There was movement inside the house, and a few moments later, Lillian answered the door somewhat hesitantly. She peered at Tabitha’s covered face. “Who is it?”
Tabitha flicked her hood up for a brief instant. “It’s just me. Sorry it’s so late. I had to get here the slow way.”
Lillian relaxed visibly. “It’s okay, I was up anyway. I’m so glad to see you, I thought you were…” She motioned for Tabitha to
enter the house. “Never mind. Come in, and I’ll fix us some tea.”
Tabitha followed Lillian to the kitchen, wondering why Lillian was so calm if she was in the middle of a crisis. “What’s the emergency?” she asked, taking a seat at the breakfast bar.
Lillian didn’t answer right away. She bustled around at the sink with her back to Tabitha. “Are you hungry? I can make you something.”
Tabitha wasn't fooled for a second. “You’re trying to distract me. Who were you expecting when I arrived?”
Lillian turned around and floundered, waving her hands as she tried to find a place to begin.
The front door slammed open and shut.
“I’m home,” Merry yelled. “Are you happy now?” The thumping of her feet on the stairs was followed by her bedroom door slamming.
Lillian lifted a hand in the general direction of her daughter's room. “That’s my emergency.”
Tabitha’s jaw almost hit the breakfast bar. “What the hell was that all about?” She’d never heard that edge in her niece’s voice before. “I’m not going to lie, I’m shocked.”
Lillian leaned back against the counter, her shoulders slumping. “That’s Merry these days, Aunt Tabitha. She's going off the rails, and I don’t know what to do to fix her.” She covered her face with her hands and dissolved into tears. “She started hanging around with these kids… I don’t know, she wasn’t doing great in school before she met them. Arguing with me about everything, getting into fights.”
Tabitha narrowed her eyes and pointed at the seat opposite. “I can’t believe this. Why am I only just hearing about it? Sit here and tell me everything. What started it?”
Lillian did as Tabitha ordered. “I don’t know anything! She doesn’t talk to me anymore, and when she does, all I get from her are grunts and one-word replies.”
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