“What? Your car is great,” he said.
“Next to your monstrosity it looks like one of those little Matchbox cars.” I rubbed the roof. “I feel bad for it.”
“I’m the sheriff. I need a big, manly car. Image is everything.”
I laughed. “If that’s true, then I’m a dainty little southern gal.”
He kissed my forehead. “And that’s what I love best about you.”
I blushed. His expression was sincere, while I’d been kidding. I’d not really thought of myself as dainty, so it surprised me to think he did. “Thank you for taking Bo to doggy daycare today. I appreciate it.” I hugged and kissed my puppy goodbye.
“Anything to win points with the mutt.” He kissed my forehead again as Bo jumped into the back of his vehicle. “And you, of course.”
I hadn’t told him yet, but he’d already won back most of the points he’d lost years ago. “Okay, I’m off to get ready to referee this class. Stopping at the office and then getting some treats at Millie’s first. Hopefully, that’ll ease the shock when Savannah walks in.”
“Good luck.”
“Thanks, I’m going to need it.” I blew him a kiss as he pulled away.
* * *
I’d pre-ordered a variety of baked goods and two jugs of sweet tea from Millie’s, so they’d be ready for pick up when I stopped by. The county library where we’d decided to hold the decluttering class was just hop away from the bakery café, which was just another hop away from my office, but since I had all of the materials for the class along with the food and drinks, I still needed to drive. I loaded the yummy baked goods into my car and headed the block to the library.
The library was in desperate need of an update. I loved the smell and feel of old libraries. Their walls filled from floor to ceiling with shelves of books. I could wander the sectioned areas, run my fingertips across the spines of old hardcovers and paperbacks, breathe in the smell of the ink and paper.
The Bramblett County library lacked the character of an old library, the kind writers flocked to for research and readers went to just soak in the environment, to be one with the written word. It was just mechanical, necessary even, and felt old and dingy. The incandescent lighting gave the white walls a yellowish hue, though I suspected they were that way also because they needed a fresh coat of paint. The bookshelves weren’t the dark, antique kind one might find in a big city library, but rather the kind from a retro 70s library, created by some art deco designer with an addiction to maple wood. And the place didn’t smell like old books. It smelled like burnt coffee. Every time I walked in, I was immediately disappointed. I knew what awaited me inside, but nonetheless, I expected something different, and every time, I ended up disappointed.
The head librarian, Ellie Jean Pruitt, who’d also been my high school librarian, greeted me at the front desk. “Well, hey there, Miss Lilybit. I got the conference room all set up for you.” She walked from behind the desk and picked up one of my bags. “Let me help you with that. Follow me, and I’ll show you where you’re going to be for the next few days.”
“Thank you so much.”
Ellie Jean had a daughter named Faith. She was my age, so Ellie Jean had to have been around my parent’s age, but you wouldn’t know it by looking at her. She fit the typical librarian stereotype. Old lady glasses with little points on the sides, her graying hair pulled into a tight bun and a floral print dress that fit her like a potato sack. It hit her larger than normal chest and hung down, without any shape, to her knees. She’d been married once, but her husband left town when their daughter was two and never returned. I couldn’t help but think it was because of the potato sack dresses, but I kept that thought to myself.
Like my momma always said, “if you can’t say something nice, shut your pie hole”. Granted, she said that in the privacy of our home, and mostly to my brothers, but her words stuck with me, too.
“You’re going to be in this room here.” She opened the door to a plain but bright room, at least bright in comparison to the rest of the place. The back wall was actually the side of the building and lined with windows, allowing in nice natural light.
I glanced down at the chairs. The red cushions had faded from the sun. “If you keep the blinds closed when no one’s using the room, the color on the cushions won’t fade as quickly.”
“Oh dear.” She pulled out a chair and gasped. “They really are faded, aren’t they? I’ll have to talk to the board about replacing them.”
Belle showed up a few minutes after I finished setting up the conference room. That wasn’t unusual for her. I wasn’t always prompt—one of my annoying bad habits—but Belle rarely arrived on time. I made a point of telling her events began thirty minutes early when I needed her there on time. The decluttering class set-up though, I could handle on my own. Besides, she organized the class, so I couldn’t fudge the start time without her catching on.
She plopped into a chair and fanned herself, her long black hair pulled into a clip instead of styled to the hilt as usual. I eyed her up and down, and she caught on quickly. “Do not start with me. I barely slept a wink last night.”
“If you’re going to hoot with the owls, you’d better be able to soar with the eagles the next day.”
“Honey, this gal did no hooting last night. I had a sinus headache the size of Killamon-whatever it’s called. What in heaven’s name is up with this weather anyway? My poor nose can’t figure out if it should be clear or clogged.”
“It’s horrible, I’ll give you that.”
She rubbed her temples. “Stop talking so loud.” She glanced at me with her blood shot eyes. “Do you have sinus medicine or anything I can take? My head is pounding.”
I laughed. “You sure are a hot mess.” I pointed to the other side of the room where I’d set my bag. “I think I’ve got something in there.”
She dragged herself to my bag. “Hey, I forgot to tell you who I saw over at the old First Baptist Church yesterday.”
“Who?”
“William Abernathy.”
“Really? That’s odd.”
“What’s even more odd is he was walking out of it with Heather Barrington.”
“That’s interesting.”
“Yeah, why?” She tossed the pills into her mouth and swallowed them down with a swig of her coffee.
“Because I saw him this morning with Heather, too. Except he took off when I got close, and when I asked Heather if it was him, she said it wasn’t.”
“Hmm. Wonder what that means?”
“It means this class is going to be interesting, that’s for sure.”
“Well, we already knew that, considering who’s going to be in it.”
“Yes, I just hope they don’t wind up killing each other.”
* * *
The girl’s arrived one by one, ready to hit the ground running. Caroline, then Heather, and the two older women who’d signed up for the class, Bonnie Bass, and Henrietta Harvey. I had to drag Heather away from poor Ellie Jean Pruitt. She’d latched onto her in the main foyer of the library and started in on her about the dismal state of the library and how she was into reds and the reds would so brighten the look of the place.
“Heather, class will be starting any minute, and Ms. Pruitt here has a library to run.”
“Oh, honey, I know that, but it’s so dark and dingy, and my reds would add such a pop of color, don’t you think?”
“I have to run over to the Abernathy house in a bit anyway, and I need to get some things done before I leave. I need to pick up something Mr. Abernathy left with his wife for a library board meeting,” Ellie Jean said.
I practically yanked her away from poor Ellie Jean and into the conference room. The woman smiled at me as I waved and closed the door behind us.
“You don’t have to be so rude,” Heather said.
“We have a time line to follow, Heather, that’s all.”
Finally, after we’d all settled in and class started, Savannah made h
er grand entrance. And grand it was, plus totally intentional.
“I’m sorry I’m late,” she said, bursting into the conference room as if everyone knew she’d be there.
Both Heather and Caroline gasped. Belle snickered, her headache apparently better.
“You better not leave now,” I whispered to Belle.
A big grin stretched across her face. “And miss this little catawampus? No way, baby.”
“You have the face of an angel and the soul of a sinner.”
“My momma says that, too.”
“Where do you think I got it?”
Heather pushed her chair back from the conference room table. “Lily Sprayberry, what were you thinking, inviting this…this hussy into here like this?” She shot out of her seat and marched to the door. “If she’s here, I…I just can’t be a part of this. You know what she did to me.”
I whispered out of the corner of my mouth to Belle. “Soul of a sinner for sure.” I cut Heather off before she left. “Heather, wait.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, don’t pitch a fit because of me,” Savannah said. “You think I need a class like this? Sweetie, I live in Buckhead. I have people that declutter and organize for me. I don’t need to do it myself.”
Except she just spent the last two weeks doing it at her parent’s house, so that didn’t really make sense, unless it was because her parents were paying for it and not her rich husband or in-laws.
I breathed a sigh of relief knowing she was leaving, but Belle’s eyes about popped out of her head in utter disappointment. “What do you mean? You’re signed up for the class.”
She wiggled her designer purse and flung it over her shoulder. “Why would I waste my time drinking cheap sweat tea with—” She waved her hand across the room. “With women that hate me? If I’m going to do that, I’ll just do it in town with my fake friends there. At least there I’ll get a good cup of espresso.”
Ouch. Millie’s tea was by far the best in the south, and she definitely didn’t deserve the criticism from Savannah, whose personality had gone well passed snooty to self-righteous in a hot minute.
“We’d love you to stay,” Belle said, and I thought she actually meant it.
“Over my dead body, or better yet, hers,” Heather said. “I cannot even consider staying if that hussy stays.”
Savannah straightened her shoulders. “Why, I have a mind to—”
Heather pushed up her sleeves. “It’s about time we do.”
I jumped between them and stretched out my arms, locking my elbows just in case. “Come on already. We’re adults. Let’s act like it.”
“I’m with Heather,” Caroline said. “If Savannah thinks she can just waltz in here and act like she didn’t try to sleep with my husband, well then—”
“He wasn’t your husband at the time,” Savannah said.
“I should have brought a bag of microwave popcorn,” Henrietta said.
Bonnie dug in her purse. “I might have some in here somewhere.” She picked out a bag of crackers, two packs of gum, a makeup bag, her wallet, and then finally huffed and said, “Oh, heavens,” and dumped the bag’s contents onto the table. After pushing the items around and not finding the popcorn bag, she sighed. “Nope, none.”
“That’s too bad. This cat fight deserves a good bag of microwave popcorn,” Henrietta said.
We’d all watched Bonnie, surprised and bemused by her search for a bag of popcorn in her purse, and when she shoved the items on the table back into her bag, it brought us all back to reality.
Caroline stood and pointed her finger at Savannah. “Oh, darling, he’s my husband now, and I’m warning you, you lay one gel nail on my man and you won’t live to regret it.”
Belle coughed.
“Is everything all right?” Ellie Jean Pruitt asked. She’d been moving the empty chairs away from the table to give us all some extra room when Savannah walked in.
“We’re fine, Mrs. Pruitt.” I turned to Savannah. “Maybe it’s best you don’t take the class.”
“I never really planned on it. I just wanted to see how my two long lost friends would react when they saw me. But, of course, you can still show my parent’s home tomorrow. I’ll be there to let you in and then I’ll leave so they don’t pitch another hissy fit.” She plucked a treat from the tray on the table, took a bite, made a scrunched up face and then set the treat back on the tray. “Oh, and Heather, you can have your sweet Austin back. I’m divorcing him. You’ll love my sloppy seconds.” She smiled at me, and as she walked out, said, “See you tomorrow, lovies. Ta ta.”
Heather hollered after her. “He was my sloppy seconds first.”
“That went well,” Belle said and took a sip of her tea.
“That…that, well, I just can’t use the kind of words I want because I’m a lady, but let me tell you, she’s about as welcome in this town as an outhouse breeze,” Caroline said.
That was probably one of the worst insults one could give a southern woman, and I thanked the Lord above Savannah wasn’t there to hear it.
I stood staring at the other clients in the room. Bonnie and Henrietta gave each other a knowing glance. Ellie Jean fussed with the chairs, and Caroline and Heather shot daggers at me. I tapped my pencil on the conference room table, both to get everyone’s attention and to focus my thoughts on how to start the class. “So, there are four key elements to decluttering and staging a home.” I figured it was best to pretend nothing had happened and just move forward.
“That little hussy makes me so mad I could spit nails,” Heather said.
“And to think she just walks in here like she never slept with our men,” Caroline added.
“She didn’t just sleep with my man, Caroline. She married him.”
“Well, at least you found out before you married him. Imagine how that could have turned out,” Caroline added.
“I couldn’t marry him because he dumped me for her.”
“Exactly. Look at me. I’ll never know if my William slept with her for sure or not. He won’t say, and now I’m married to him without knowing the truth.” She fell into her seat and fanned her face with the packet full of papers I’d provided. “And heaven help her, if she even goes near my William, she won’t see the light of day.”
If the rest of my week went like the first fifteen minutes of class, heaven help me. “Ladies, how about we focus on why we’re here instead of digging up the past?”
“Absolutely,” Belle agreed. “What’s done is done. Let’s just move on. What do you say?”
“You would say that,” Heather said. “The hussy never slept with your boyfriend.”
“That’s because she had several. Even Savannah would have had a hard time keeping up.” Caroline said.
Bonnie hooted. “Ooh wee, she shoots to kill, don’t she?”
Henrietta nodded. “Emm, hmm. Reminds me of myself back in the day.”
I wanted to duck because I feared Belle would very likely chuck a scone straight at Caroline’s face, and I was right in the line of fire. Only she didn’t. It had to be because she hadn’t slept the night before and was off her game.
I did my best to stop the fighting and regain control of my environment. I singled out Heather and Caroline, making eye contact with both of them. “Okay, that’s enough. I’ve got a class to teach here, so if you two want to talk about this you’re going to have to step out and do it elsewhere. The other women in this class didn’t pay to listen to you two pitch fits about stuff that happened years ago.”
“Oh, it’s okay,” Henrietta said. “They canceled my soap operas, so this is all kinds of fun for me.”
Bonnie giggled. “For me, too. I haven’t seen something this exciting in months, and I love me a good drama.”
“Someone might could tell that one that just left that you can catch more bees with honey than vinegar. Her momma didn’t do right by her, I can tell you that.”
“Emm hmm,” Bonnie said.
Belle bit her bottom lip to s
top herself from laughing.
I had to admit, they were two little spitfires. I held back a giggle also. “Thank you for your ability to roll with things, ladies, I appreciate it, but this isn’t the time of place for drama.” I directed my next comments to my old friends. “So, take your pick ladies. Leave and trash talk, or stay and learn some valuable tools for your future. What’s it going to be?”
They both grunted, crossed their arms over their chests and didn’t budge. I assumed that meant they’d decided to stay.
We made it through the first day of class without any additional drama, and frankly, I was surprised. I begged the Lord and every deceased real estate agent in the heavens above to help me get through the next day when we all toured Savannah’s parent’s home. I wanted to finish the tour without any damages to the property, myself, or my clients.
Unfortunately, that prayer went unanswered.
Chapter 2
Belle and I sat at our desks, me trying hard to get real work done while she babbled on incessantly about the drama from the class. “Did you see the look on Savannah’s face? Dear Lord, the way she stared at Heather, I thought nails would shoot right out of her eyeballs.”
“’Smiling like a goat in a briar patch,’ that’s what my momma would say.”
“Yes, she would, and she’d be right, too.” She sat up in her chair and twisted her hair into a bun behind her head. “I honestly didn’t think she’d behave that way. Savannah, I mean.”
I flipped my chair around and faced her. “Me, neither. It was pretty petty of her and totally unnecessary.”
“Exactly. I mean, why pour salt in the wound? We all know she won, so what was the point?”
“I don’t know, but I’m going over there tonight, and I intend to ask her.”
“Better you than me. I’m not sure I could be nice to her now.”
“Really? You’re kind of the one that started all of this. Maybe you should be the one to go?”
She dropped her jaw and gave me a wide-eyed stare as she pressed her hand against her chest. “What? I did not.”
Decluttered and Dead Page 2
