Have Club Will Travel

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Have Club Will Travel Page 3

by Michael Joy

dangerous opponent, for one of us? If this occurs with a group of your people it will be devastating. We are willing to allow them to continue poisoning each other but they will do so in prescribed areas where none of our people can be affected. In particular we do not want them dumping their by products in streams where it will affect our people in addition we want the air pollution kept from us."

  "So you want me to pretend I am representing someone who will I be representing? Do I tell them that Big Foot has spoken?"

  "You will tell them that they are dealing with Franks Association."

  The name gave me pause, I had heard something about Franks Association in the past, it was widely believed that it was a jailhouse myth, like there being an actual king of the gypsies.

  "So they will accept me as a representative?"

  "They will accept you because you will be carrying a letter embossed with the seal of Frank's Association. You will go to a place where they have been guaranteed there will be a meeting. The groups will each send two representatives they will be searched, so also there will be only a couple of security guards who will be unarmed as well. They will search you when you arrive.

  Each group will have a car with three armed people fifty yards away from the restaurant, this means that they will be almost one hundred yards apart. The two groups will not carry either money or trade goods to exchange they will listen to what you have to say and they will then call their bosses and relay the information. Oh one final point, if either group trespasses on the others area in future their levy will increase to six percent and if they do not stop bringing their poison into areas that are off limits that part of their operation will be destroyed."

  "These people will not be happy to hear about your ultimatum. What happens if they don't want to agree?"

  "Then tell them that they have been informed of the consequences, but you can be reached at a residence nearby if they would like to have further discussions later."

  "What happens if they attack me?"

  "You are a warrior are you not? They will not be armed, humans are only dangerous when armed, the chances are that if anyone objects they will likely attempt to follow you after you leave and confront you when they are armed rather than try to assault you when their competitors also unarmed, are only within arm's reach. We have used a similar process before."

  I tried one last attempt to renegotiate the terms here. "Look you told me that I would be negotiating with them, the new standard is to try and set terms that the other party can live with, there are people who specialize in dispute resolution. We could have a neutral party set a framework whereby the decision makers would be available to actually hear what the other party proposes and they could be ready to make the concessions necessary to resolve the problem."

  "This sounds like corporate double speak about engaging the stakeholders. I have read some of this with interest it is excellent for making decisions within a community. We are talking about groups where the leaders very likely have blood on their hands and they are well aware that this blood could be the blood of friends or family of their competitors. We will do this our way."

 

  So I found myself walking up to a restaurant after a cab dropped me off. It was late evening but the direct sunlight showed a single story diner less than forty feet across the front, but less than a dozen feet deep. There had been almost no warning beyond a sign a couple of hundred feet back saying Clyde's Restaurant. The curved sheet metal which had been applied to make it look like one of the trolley car style diners had warped and separated with the result that it was clear that it was really an inexpensive trailer, it was tarted up to look like a well-designed and cheaply manufactured restaurant. Poor maintenance and bad weather had left little to impress passers-by so the parking lot was empty with the exception of an economy car with a decal for a security company and two sad looking security guards carrying heavy flashlights but no weapons. They did have a metal detector and a plastic basket the only thing that set off the metal detector were my keys and cell phone. I handed each an unsealed envelope which had originally contained $200 each so I was fronting for the last of the big spenders. I had slipped an extra $200 into each envelope, they gave me a big smile and somehow they were standing just a little straighter and more alert as they patted me down looking for a weapon.

  Their voices followed me "Guy thinks he's Indiana Jones."

  I was slightly offended by the comment, I know I had worn a leather jacket and a fedora before the fictional character was first seen. For that matter their own grandfathers might have worn something similar.

  I walked in the front door and saw what I took to be the owner standing at the entrance to the small kitchen. There was not a lot of room to maneuver between the front of the restaurant and the vinyl stools at the counter. The service area was also narrow with a broad shelf holding plates and coffee maker. "Is the grill hot?" I asked.

  "Betcha."

  "Bring me a burger and coleslaw and serve me a hot coffee when my guests arrive."

  He nodded and looked puzzled by my request but I had laid two twenties on the counter before I ordered. I make it a rule to have my coffee hot if I might be forced to throw it in some ones face. I often dilute it with cream, not today. As he ducked into the kitchen to prepare my meal I made a few preparations.

  The area furthest from the door opened up to hold four tables, each one with a Formica top and curved legs of chrome covered steel tubing, the chairs four to a table were also tubular steel with dried out vinyl seats originally a lipstick red showing in places that experienced the least wear. To complete the décor there were a few old items of home decor nailed to the walls at odd intervals, I saw a hurricane lamp, a massive cross cut saw with two inch spikes and old horseshoes, of particular interest was an axe handle, because it didn't look to be more than a decade old I grasped the handle and tried to pull it from the wall, it resisted held in place by a nail through the centre of the handle. I could hear cars coming on the road outside so I turned my head and by accident looked down, grinning I lifted straight up. Rather than being nailed into the wood the nail had been bent downwards and slipped into a heavy staple that is used to hold barbed wire to a post.

  So if things went to hell at least one of the participants would have a solid club to work with. I knew that the Sasquatch would have some of their number in the woods. I knew that they could move as silently as I could and I had fed myself by bow hunting in all seasons after I left home. Most fourteen year olds have difficulty carrying a deer carcass for ten miles through the wilderness. I had to assume that if either group had put marksmen into the trees around the restaurant that Big Foot were even now poised within bow shot of those men.

  I considered the relevance of what I had been told. The event he had described of one of the females being struck by gunfire had likely occurred in the mid fifteen hundreds and yet it had shaped the relationship of two cultures. The seaman who had fired was likely illiterate possibly even delirious or ill through the privations of the long sea voyage. He had likely made no record of the event. If a ships officer was literate and kept an actual ships log would it have said any more than that the man had shot at a large hairy animal.

  I would have liked to have a bow with me unfortunately if I couldn't bring a pocket derringer then there was no way to conceal a bow on my person.

  Looking out the window I could see two groups approaching from opposite directions, there was a deliberate pattern to the groups. They had done this before. Both were led by two motor cycles with a truck behind; no make that a truck behind the two dirt bikes and an SUV behind the two Harley's.

  The motor cycles were designed to be fast and nimble, the riders were clearly scouts, even standing half erect to peer to the sides of the road. The other vehicles proceeded more slowly pulling up momentarily even further out than the agreed upon fifty yards for a long count of twenty before someone made a decision and those vehicles rolled up. The motor cycles
were parked well to the sides where they could duck into the brush in an emergency. Then the passenger doors opened. The men who emerged were both large, the one from the SUV having a gleaming bald head and wearing motorcycle leathers. The one on the other side who climbed out of the extended cab pickup was wearing a nearly new straw cowboy hat the pricey kind from a designer store. I noticed as they walked closer that both wore steel toed construction boots, a brutal weapon in a brawl.

  They stared around assessing the setting; I stood in full view framed by the window.

  The two security guards had approached and had patted down both men as a bystander it looked as if they were spending less time checking these men than they had me, I should have given them a larger tip.

  They turned to their cars and nodded, this time the rear doors opened and two men got out. The one from the SUV was dressed almost identically if less flashily and was perhaps an inch shorter and five pounds heavier. A hundred yards away the man who got out of the truck was tall and lanky wearing another straw hat and in his case what might be combat boots.

  The muscle came in through the front door; I noticed that they had thrown a coin before they stepped in. They surveyed the restaurant interior before walking the

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